As you know, my wife and I live in Hannover, Germany. She is a native German citizen — bright, beautiful and freakishly enthusiastic about her work as a Gymnasium teacher — and I am an American expat; dark and introverted, spinning graphic design projects from my home office like a funnel-web spider tending to its silken trip-lines: “Oh yes, my pretties… come closer. Let me sink my venomous logo into your fledgling business enterprise…”
So normally I’m the hateful side of our little German-American relationship, and my wife is the loving side; she genuinely enjoys people and always looks for the good in them. But after living in a questionable apartment building with psychotic inhabitants and an apathetic management company for two years (See: Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane), even she was ready to burn the place to the ground and piss on the ashes.
She checked the house rental listings every night for months until finally she found the perfect opening: A little house in a quiet neighborhood on the outskirts of the city, still close enough to commute to work, but far enough away we wouldn’t be tempted to climb on top of our new roof and pick off our former neighbors like a couple of wildly underqualified Marine snipers.
We got the news our rental application had been approved, and then we started packing like mad. We boxed everything up, hired a moving company and got the hell out of that apartment. As we drove away, gazing at the building as it receded from view, my wife stuck her hands out the window — both middle fingers held high in the air — and shouted, “Adios Amigos!”
Of course, with her adorable German accent, what actually came out was:
“Ahh-Dee-Yahs, Ahh-Mee-Gahs!”
If you would like to read another classic Denglish quote, check this one out: My German Wife Is A Huge Fan of HBO’s A Game of Thrones
Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
Hahahah! Awesome!
LikeLike
Thanks. We all have our breaking point! Regards Thom.
LikeLike
She’s got a counterpart blog, “Mein Gott, mein Mann ist so amerikanisch!!” ja?
:-D
LikeLike
She should, right?? I wish. That would be awesome.
LikeLiked by 3 people
As much as I love this idea, no, I do not think it would be as good as we imagine it – she is German, you see – no humour to be found there :P
LikeLike
You forgot “Sow the ground with salt.” Congratulations on the escape!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haw haw! We totally forgot. I did suggest something like that, but my wife nixed it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Who can’t relate to that! Ahh- dee-yah, Ahh -mee -gahs!
Music to my ears some days!
LikeLike
awesome wife
LikeLike
Hilarious! Brings me back to our short stint in an apartment in North Hollywood to shorten my commute…one disrespectful neighbor can make your life truly a living hell…especially with the sound of bass permeating through your room at 2AM when you have to work the next day!
LikeLike
Totally!
LikeLike
Amazing! Congrats on escaping!
LikeLike
Thank you Laura!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Congrats on the move! Is your wife hinting at the next move to Spain? If you go to Mallorca, you won’t feel so out of place as every German knows its the 17th federal state.
LikeLike
Ha ha…She is awesome! You had a really cool adventure with your move! Hannover is just the loveliest city in Germany! Good luck! Greetings, London Removals Ltd.
LikeLike