Here are my web stats by month for visitors and page views over the last couple years. April of 2017 is selected because it looked like a pretty average month to me, and it was the middle of May when I took this screenshot. Overall, if these figures mean something to you, great! If not, great! (I gotta get back to blogging now.)

Advertising Options

Are you interested in placing an ad on this site? Or maybe just a small text link or graphic? Here’s what we can do:*

  • Small text link inside of one of my articles: No more than a sentence or two, placed inside a specific blog post, for a 6-month span. Small logos or images can be used instead of text. Please consider your budget and make an offer before contacting me.
  • Small text link in the sidebar of my blog: No more than a sentence or two, featured in the sidebar (appearing on most pages of my site), for a 6-month span. Small logos or images can be used instead of text. Again, please consider your budget and make an offer before contacting me.

*Note: I do not accept paid guest articles or paid blog posts. If you’ve got a great guest article about Germany already written, just email the document or direct link to me and I’ll check it out. No payment necessary, as your article should already be relevant enough to my readers to be featured for free. Read more about guest articles here.

Advertising Guidelines

Before contacting me with your advertising proposal, please be aware of the following guidelines:

  1. I will not feature your content for free. Even if your product or service is directly relevant to the subject matter of this blog, asking me to help promote your agenda for free is a waste of both our time. Terms like “collaboration” or “mutually beneficial partnership” are indicative of the kind of bullshit I’m talking about. I like to delete emails like this so hard it hurts my index finger.
  2. I can’t insert any fancy code on my site. My blog is hosted by, so tags like <iframe> or any .php snippets cannot be embedded. If you’ve got some other method in mind for an affiliate partnership — or a clever coding workaround of some kind — I’m all ears. (Or eyes, in this case, I guess.)
  3. Free products, services or promises of social media exposure are not forms of payment. Offering to send me your product or service — or “drive more traffic to my site” — in exchange for a free feature on my blog is not a proposal; that’s just you hoping to get something for free. Stop trying to take advantage of the bloggers of the world. If your book, company, language app or dirty diaper service is truly awesome, you won’t need any help from me getting the word out.
  4. Make me an offer first, and make it a good one. At the time I write this, I am receiving 10 new advertising proposals per week. The vast majority of them are both ridiculous and insulting. Figure out your advertising budget ahead of time, and then make me an offer. I literally don’t have the time it would take to provide you with a custom estimate, so it’s up to you to make a worthwhile proposal.

Do I sound like a bit of a prick? Good. Careless advertisers have wasted too much of my life already. But if you’re cool and you think your ad might be a good fit for my blog, I look forward to hearing from you!

— Zack Zwieback

3 thoughts

  1. Amen to everything you said there. I’m tempted to copy the whole thing verbatim to my blog. One day I’ll publish all the ridiculous proposals I get for one long good laugh for all my readers…


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