Survey conducted by Dan, blogger and owner of Live Work Travel USA. He’s my opposite — a German expat living in America — like my evil mirror image from a parallel universe. Or am I the evil one? (Clearly one of us has to be destroyed.) But first, Dan asked me…
What food items do you miss most from America?
Mexican Food
Now, I realize I just named a type of food that comes from an entirely different country than my own, but hell — Mexico is right there. We’re like passive-aggressive neighbors; all smiling and waving to each other from across the street, then talking massive amounts of shit as soon as we close the front door. “Oh. My. God. Gladys, did you hear what Mexico did today? That slut.” So, I don’t miss that, but I do miss burritos. Big, sloppy, disgusting burritos the size of a newborn baby. Hell yes. And real guacamole. And tortilla chips that aren’t powdered with artificial flavoring, like some weird, evil German’s idea of what nachos should taste like. (Hint: nachos should taste like salt, not Satan’s jockstrap.)
Real Hot Sauce
Tapatio. Sriracha. Dave’s Insanity Sauce. Blair’s After Death Sauce. Mad Dog 44 Magnum Pepper Extract. (Why are these names so violent?) Now, most of these anus-burners can be ordered online, but not all of them. Real hot sauce is hard to find in Germany. Oh sure, they’ve got Tabasco in almost every store, but I said hot sauce, not red vinegar for complete pantywaists. My wife suggested I look in some local Indian and Asian food stores, and she was right! I found my precious Sriracha sauce. Problem is, the bottles are tiny, so they’re the same price if I ordered the big daddies and paid for the shipping, but still! Victory, I say!
Out of Season Fruits and Vegetables
I understand all of the reasons why eating locally-grown, seasonal fruits and vegetables is a good idea. It’s good for the economy. Good for the environment. Good for your Mom (zing!). But I’m American; we simply cannot understand the idea of not getting whatever we want, whenever the hell we want it. “Mangos in December. Strawberries in January. No, I have no idea where they’re coming from. What’s the problem, hippy?” So I guess I don’t really care about any one fruit or vegetable in particular; what I care about is that I’m being forced into becoming a better person. When it comes to self improvement, I want it to be according to my schedule — ideally while on a comfy psychiatrist’s couch or readily available in pill form.
Real Ketchup and Mayonnaise
When you order French fries here in Germany, you will typically be asked whether or not you would like them to be, “red and white.” This means half your fries will be drowned in mayonnaise, and the other half in ketchup. Since every American on earth knows dipping your French fries in mayonnaise is black magic communist devil worship (with herpes), I’ll skip over the concept itself. But dude, there is something deeply, terribly wrong with German mayonnaise. It tastes sweet, like Miracle Whip. I hate it, so I basically just avoid anything in this country that has a chance of filling my mouth with thick, white, porno goo. And then there’s the ketchup. Now, I’ve seen Heinz ketchup in the grocery store, but that’s not what you’ll get on the “red” side of your fries — you’re gonna get a weird, thin mutation of ketchup which tastes, inexplicably, like salsa. It’s like the retarded younger brother of ketchup, and nobody knows who the father is.
Which German foods do you like, that you wish you could get in America?
Real Liverwurst
Lots of Americans think they know what real liverwurst tastes like, but they don’t. And they hate it. This is because major supermarket chains in the States sell pink, mass-produced paste called liverwurst, but it tastes like salty foreskin. It wasn’t until I moved to Germany that I saw the full spectrum of liverwurst — every brand, flavor and texture — like a horrifying pâté rainbow in the sky. Yet even after sampling the real deal, I still wasn’t sure about it. My gag reflex remained on high alert: “Hey boy, what do you think you’re trying to sneak past us here? Didn’t we already talk about this back when you were 12 years old, when you smeared this shit on a cracker at that Christmas party? You spit it out into a napkin right in front of the host. Guess this is one lesson we’re gonna have to teach you twice.” What I’m saying is, it took me about 6 months to really make friends with liverwurst, but after I did, I loved it. I also enjoy the fact that so much of it is made from young pig and veal livers, because their youthful energy reinvigorates my own liver and repairs all the damage I’ve done over the years.
Weißwurst
You know Weißwurst: those white sausages served in a steaming ceramic bowl with a lid on top? They’re short, thick and perfectly smooth — like zombie dicks. I think they do sell them in some German restaurants in the States, but I’d never really noticed them before. Now I love these things! I don’t even cut the peel off, like I’ve seen the Germans do; I leave it on because I like the way it pops in my mouth. It reminds me I’m eating an animal which has literally been stuffed up its own ass, and that just seems so right.
Schinkengriller
Okay, now these sausages are the long, thin, dark red ones you see at German festivals. And since I apparently can’t stop talking about dicks today, I’m gonna go ahead and say they look like really long dog dicks. Like a full yard of the proudest Doberman ever. And there’s something saltier and tastier about Schinkengriller than the other sausages. They’re my favorite. I just don’t understand the tiny rolls and slices of white bread they’re served with. If you’re gonna jam your meat into a piece of bread, at least use a hotdog bun or something long enough to make the whole thing feel welcome.
Maß Beer
And of course, in America, I wish I could more easily find 1-liter glasses of beer for sale. Hell, with the exception of local festivals and events, there are only a few pubs here in Hannover that sell them at all. This is probably due to the fact that Maß beers are really more of a Bavarian thing. (And Bavarians regard the rest of Germany the way Texans regard the other 49 states of America — with a playful sense of entitlement masking the fuck off attitude underneath.)
Other than food, what products do you miss from America, that you wish you could get here in Germany?
Cheap Clothing
Seriously. Buying clothes in Germany is a painfully expensive ordeal. Especially when it comes to jeans. You can go to some ethically dubious chain and find yourself some cheap blue jeans, but there’s a decent chance some sweatshop child will have sewn a message into the tag: MEN’S JEANS, SIZE: LARGE, MACHINE WASH GENTLE, OH MY GOD PLEASE GET US OUT OF HERE.
Stain Sticks
Stain sticks and sprays are laundry products you can apply to stains immediately after they occur, and then sit on your lazy ass for up to a week before doing the laundry. Stains come right out. Maybe they do sell them here in Germany — or something like them — but I can’t find them anywhere. One time, I spilled red wine on my blue thermal sweatshirt, so my wife applied laundry detergent directly to the stain. Just got the spot wet and rubbed that shit right on in there. Ran it through the washing machine and BOOM; my sweatshirt was covered in these massive, hideous white blotches — like I’d just lost a fistfight with a bottle of chlorine.
Not handheld shower heads. I’ve talked about this before — how Germans love their handheld shower heads — but they’re not for me; I want the hot water to rain down on my head and shoulders like I’m standing beneath a waterfall. It’s soothing. Holding on to the source of the water keeps you from relaxing, and it’s not like the water won’t eventually reach your anus. Jesus. You don’t have to blast the poor thing with a jet of water like you’re suppressing a riot.
Standard Toilets
To be honest, most of the toilets in Germany seem to be standard, as opposed to low-flow. I haven’t encountered too many low-flow toilets here, but when I did, it sucked miserably. Your stinking loaf drops onto a dry shelf, where it remains until you flush. Then it streaks its way into a tiny cup of water before (hopefully) disappearing. You might be surprised just how effective a generous pool of water can be at stifling the true potency of your stink nuggets. Chances are, if you’re American, you’ve been taking standard toilets for granted your entire life. I sure as hell did.
Nighttime Mouth Guards (dental guards for sleeping)
Seriously, why can’t I buy these things in Germany? I clench my jaw at night so hard I am literally cracking my own teeth. Every dentist who has ever looked into my mouth has said, “Wow, your teeth are so straight… and you’ve really never had braces? But jeez, what’s with the nighttime grinding? Here, let me fit you for a €300 euro dental guard — one which your insurance may or may not cover — I have no idea…” And then I get to explain I use $10 dollar night guards from the States, and then the dentist acts like he or she has absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. (Oh, but they do, those sons of bitches.)
Over-the-Counter Medicine
NyQuil, DayQuil, Advil (Ibuprofen), Tylenol (Acetaminophen), Zicam, Excedrin, Claritin, Dimetapp, Neosporin (topical antibacterial) — you know, the basics. You can buy some of these things in Germany, but you’ll have to make an extra trip to the pharmacy (Apotheke) to do it. Oh, and you’ll have to speak to a pharmacist about them too, describing all of your disgusting symptoms in detail before they’ll hand over the goods. “Hi, I have a runny nose. Yes, snot is coming out of it. No, the snot is not brown or yellow. What? Did you just ask if my snot is thick? Look, can I just please have the nasal spray so I can breathe again, god damn you?”
Prescription Drugs
Germany and America have different regulations for prescription-strength medicines, so you can’t always find the drug you need here. This sucks pretty hard for expats like me. I’m American. I’m accustomed to blasting what ails me with the chemical equivalent of a howitzer. If I’ve got a headache, I don’t want to just get rid of it; I want to smash it out of my skull with a hammer. if I can’t sleep, I won’t politely ask insomnia to leave me alone for the night; I’ll stab that bitch right in the windpipe. And when seasonal allergies come around, I’m not going to gently usher them out the door; I’m going to give them two rounds to the chest and sprinkle cocaine on their bodies for the cops to find.
Are there any German products you wish you could get in America?
House Shoes
Oh sure, we’ve got shoes we choose to wear indoors. They’re called slippers. What I mean are the kind of dedicated footwear every German owns — super comfy, donned the moment you set foot in your home — and typically stored in an orderly fashion in the entryway. I don’t mean like at a party hosted by some asshole who makes you take your shoes off and throw them in a haphazard pile in the corner so you can worry about them being lost or stolen all night long. I’m talking about house shoes; they make you feel at home, peaceful and relaxed, because they’re yours. Kind of like that scene in Full Metal Jacket: “These are my German house shoes! There are many like them, but these ones are mine!”
Scratchy Towels
Thin, scratchy towels are the norm here in Germany. This may sound like a negative, but it isn’t; I used to hate scratchy towels, but have come to love how easily they wick the water from your body. Hell, they downright suck the water off, and they exfoliate your skin at the same time. Like sandpaper that’s juuuust soft enough not to scratch off your fun bits.
Dynamo Lights
Dynamos are lights for your bike which run off the power generated by the rotation of your tires. I’d never seen one before moving to Germany, and I was immediately impressed. Who wants to slap a pair of batteries into a plastic case and then replace them every couple months? I love the idea of generating my own light — like Gandalf saving everyone’s ass at the end of The Two Towers: “At dawn, look to the East!”
Tilt and Turn Windows
These things are yet another example of genius German engineering; a tilt and turn window can tilt inward at the top or open inward completely from the side. Germans invented them, and they rule. (Which is why the rest of the European countries totally ripped off the design.) In America, most everybody has windows the slide up or to the side, and I don’t know about you, but I am constantly breaking these things. Also, I am the clumsiest man alive.
Predial Numbers
I don’t know how they work, but in Germany, you can call America for less than a cent per minute using something called ‘predial’ numbers. They’re usually just 5 or 6 digits dialed before the country code, but only certain service providers allow them. Also, the caller has to be using a land line. But still, awesome! Predial numbers — in addition to Skype, WhatsApp, Instant Messenger, email, letters and postcards — were vital during the time my wife and I were in a long distance relationship. We talked every single day, for an hour during my lunch break Monday through Friday, and then 4-5 hours on Saturdays and Sundays. Christ. Just thinking about all those months of heartache makes me want to cry all over again. I’m crying right now, in fact. Like a little bitch.
Effective Public Transportation
U-Bahn, S-Bahn, Bus, Fernbus, Metronom, Regionalbahn, IC, ICE — just about every German city provides access to all of these options. In the States, only a handful of cities even have a subway, and at this moment I’m having trouble remembering any of them except New York. NYC is lousy with subway trains, but I come from Portland, Oregon; we have the bus and a light rail train called The MAX (Metropolitan Area Express). Oh sure, you can hop on a train up to Seattle or something, but it sucks. Takes forever. We need high-speed trains, man!
Summary:
Until I received this survey from Dan, I never really thought much about foods or products I missed from the States. And I definitely hadn’t thought about things from Germany I might miss back home. I just didn’t care. What can you do about it anyway? Forgo clean undies by stuffing your suitcase full of hot sauce and prescription drugs? Shit, I’d rather get caught smuggling dildos.
The availability of American foods and products in Germany is actually quite impressive. In fact, I have to award Germany 4 out of 5 Merkel Diamonds for its effort:
But the truth is, if you want to live in a foreign country, you have to adapt. That’s what every good expat does. In fact, the only thing I truly miss from home is the luxury of not having a language barrier. I miss my ability to handle minor tasks and solve problems without applying a bunch of time and effort. I am terribly lazy, you see, so I have to preserve what small amount of vital energy I have left. If I don’t, my wife will find me passed out on the floor because I tried to read a German baking recipe. “Salz, Zucker… that’s ‘salt’ and ‘sugar,’ probably… oh my God, what is Schlagsahne? Some kind of cream, right? Hitting cream? Aw Jesus…” BOOM! — I’m on the floor.
Thank you, Dan, for asking me these questions and prompting this blog post. And thank you, Reader, for reading it. If you’d like to see another one, check out: InterNations: An American Expat Answers Questions About Living in Germany
Thinking of moving to the US? Ever wondered what life is like for expats on the other side of the pond? For information on life as a German expat in the United States, visit Dan’s site:
Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
I really miss the Tilt and Turn windows. Forgot to mention that on my post. Great job on yours. I couldn’t stop laughing :)
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You too, buddy! Great work!
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Oh, god. I’m laughing so hard. Because I’m pretty sure I’ll be similar to you on many things, like communication. The German language makes me cry. Let’s take Weimar for example. That’s no V, that’s a W. But the general rule is W = V, V = W. STOP CONFUSING ME when I’m writing my project at an international conference! Stop it, damn it.
Trying to figure out the renting process in Germany from over here makes a southern woman weep, too. I got the food, I’m good. But the renting?! All these extra prices and stuff. No “here’s first and last month’s rent, we’re good!” Instead it’s all “you want to LIVE in something outside of a cardboard box next to the questionable American fast food chain? Better be rich!” And I’m not even over yonder yet. I’m just trying to figure “how to afford grad school (and a place to lay my head that my fiance can visit me at, so no nunneries please) in a superior education system.”
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Best of luck, Jessica! And I’m so glad you liked the post! Hang it there!
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Thanks. I’m attempting my best! Currently Doofus is on the train ride to Frankfurt. You know a man loves you when his first flight ever is an international one to Atlanta. I mean…Hartsfield’s no joke.
Also use that nifty train system over yonder.
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Let’s not forget, Jessica, the most classic example of “lost in translation” ever (or as I like to call it: someone really screwed up when they invented English): wo = where and wer = who . 🤔
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Nighttime teeth grinding protection try sport shop for mouth guard $1 in states.
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This post had me laughing. I think I snorted my coffee out my nose this morning.!! The section on over-the-counter medicine was a riot. Funny enough, when I was in Mexico, I missed peanut butter. They don’t have peanut butter in Mexico.! Or almond butter for that matter. It was required for anyone visiting to bring us peanut butter.
And funny enough I missed Thai food. There were many Chinese restaurants because of all the Chinese expats living in Mexico. But really no Thai. The closest thing to Thai was a Swedish restaurant in town that made pad thai b/c someone really loved it and so learned how to make it.!
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Glad you liked the post, Chirose!
No peanut butter in Mexico? I bet they had plenty of Fanta though… :)
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Why yes they did :)
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Oh my, thanks for posting this blog! I’ve been laughing my way through it! As a Norwegian expat living in America (Ok, I still count Canada as part of America even it they don’t…) I can relate to this (only the other way around!).
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Right on, Girl Gone Expat! Thank you for the kind words!
And keep up the great work with your blog too!
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“not Satan’s jockstrap.” You have tasted things …
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….so many things…
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I am not sure I want to know all of them ;)
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I was a little disturbed by the dick comments for a second (Weisswurst are like zombie dicks?! WHAT?! Noooooooooo!!) But then again, I did see a German say that Schupfnudeln look like kid dicks (he said Kinderpimmel) on TV recently (das perfekte Dinner). Your comments are more appropriate than that, I suppose…
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I miss the tilt and turn windows the most.
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The windows are fabulous!!
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I’ve written my own Australian vs Germany list :) http://atravellingcook.blogspot.de/2014/12/everyday-australian-products-youll-miss.html
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Wow, most of these sound like my experiences in Korea, especially the Mexican food thing. Koreans have something called Mexican Chicken, which is only spicy fried chicken and has nothing to do with Mexicans. We’ve eaten a lot of Mexican since we’ve gotten back to the US.
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Ohhh this made me laugh! Great blog you have! :-)
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Thank you Tatianay! Yours is lookin’ good too!
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I totally agree. I spent 6 months in Italy and over a year in France as a student so grew pretty much fluent in both languages but the relief in coming back to the UK and being able to say ANYTHING without even thinking about it was just such a joy. Also, I found I was much less amusing/funny in a different language to my own. I felt like a toned-down version of myself! However…I loved every second of it.
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Good stuff! I’m so glad I live here in Bavaria and not in plain old Germany…
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And as I grew up in Orlando, hot sauce is number one on the list when I fly home. Yes, Munich is home. Number two is any 12 hr cold relief that is limited by FL state law. Sudafed. Contact, etc…
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You need to follow and get in contact with Dana of Wanted Adventure on YouTube/ @WantedAdventure on Twitter…she is a Florida girl…attended FSU in Tallahassee…she has been living in Munich for a few years… check out her videos…
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I think I have seen a few. Formerly, I was the general editor for MunichNOW. I think she knows Jeff. I’ll reach out to Data soon. Thanks!
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Those “green” toilets are old school German commodes that are simple in concept, but you leave your loaf on the ledge and DAMN if vergnugungs abzieh sind DRINGENT NOTWENDIG. I’ve never seen a German toilet room in an old blg that didn’t have the window open! Wuff…those Germans have issues with plumbing, but are coming around to ZOLL massen Rohren uzw.
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And those WCs are in an unheated alcove of the house because they were an afterthought, anyway, but yeah, let’s keep that window open and hope the pipes don’t freeze. 😣
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Wonderful. Works, for the most part, for Austria as well.
When I was two, we lived over a Jewish butcher shop; the proprietor was named Solomon Bock. He’d give me a little hunk of Leberwurst every time my mom went in, and I learned to love it, rediscovering the real thing when I went to Austria for two years in 1975.
So much to like here. Scratchy towels (Yes! American ones are as soft as silk and about as absorbent as wax paper), low-flow toilets (you can get it into the water if you learn to aim), Mexican Food (they just don’t get it) and so many others. Note “1”.
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Right on, Wolf! Haw haw, you said, “… if you learn to aim.” That’s awesome.
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Just discovered this today. Cannot stop laughing, especially about this: “Since every American on earth knows dipping your French fries in mayonnaise is black magic communist devil worship (with herpes)”
From a Californian living in Berlin, I salute you.
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Thank you Kristin! How do you like Berlin?
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I love it. It’s totally geil.
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The German’s told me to expect this dipping sauce. I keep looking grossed out since I hate plain mayo (American or otherwise), can hand aioli pretty okay, but…this dipping sauce. Not that I can say much, though. I dip my fries in Yum Yum sauce. So.
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Haribo gummy bears and Milka chocolate. Oh, and Erdnussflips. This stuff is regularly taking up quite some space in my luggage when I come back from a trip to Germany. And I have to bake my own bread here because eating the airy white fluff rolls here on a daily basis would drive me nuts!
Great post as always, but I don’t quite understand why you can’t get any out-of-season fruit and veggies. Surely there must be a Kaisers or Edeka around where you can get strawberries, pineapple, mango and such year-round? Apart from the fact that there never really IS a season for papaya or coconut in Germany. At least not on this side of global warming.
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I have started finding Erdnußflips at a few asian grocery stores here around Toronto. My favourite snack since I was about 2 years old, so I am quite pleased.
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In the states we talk often of how we want to put tilt and turn windows into our house. Also, weird fabric softner soft towels are EVIL! Soft and useless. Love scratchy towels!
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This made me laugh and cry!
I’m glad that I’m not the only expat here that is barely surviving for lack of Mexican food. I recently found a taqueria in Munich that was a huge HUGE step in the right direction. Living in the north though, I don’t get down to Munich enough to quench my Mexican craving and DIY here is a joke. Where is all the cilantro?!
Love the blog. My boyfriend thinks I spider, but then again what German wouldn’t.
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I so agree with all the things you miss. We have all low flow toilets where I am in the UK-and your description was pretty accurate and made me laugh. The question is, is it worth the trade off for great transportation?
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Very entertaining :-)
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Well that was a spot on post. And my #1 thing I miss is also good Mexican food (I’ve tried the one local “Mexican” restaurant here in Potsdam and it just was like someones idea of what a Mexican restaurant should look and taste like…) And they did not really have a good imagination either.
And I’ve eaten Mexican food in Mexico; and the Americanized version (at least as I’ve found in the Pacific Northwest) is usually much better.
Personally I can live with everything else; well except for Germans trying to park – they just can’t seem to make it into or out of any parking spot in a parking lot on on the street without 65 steering angle corrections slowly moving forward and backwards. Drives me crazy.
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I’ve been in New York for so long, I almost forgot about the tilt and turn windows Germany has! Thanks for the reminder! Also, I can see how you miss Mexican food – there really is nothing alike in Europe.
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My German in-laws have those toilets with the shelf…also known as the worst toilets ever!! Great post!
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Thank you! And I’m sorry you have to deal with those things!
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You should, though, not buy antibiotics over the counter(doctors prescribe too much of them already and the danger of getting cute little resistant germs is rather high(when you’ve got a cold, it most likely isn’t caused by bacteria but by a virus, which renders the antibiotic useless(a cold will stay 7 days without meds and a week with…))). *still thinking about more interlocked brackets*
In general, the americans’ addiction to drugs(OTC and prescription) seems crazy, viewed from over here.
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Oh does this ever resonate with my husband and I. I too miss Mexican food something fierce. I never understood the whole savory bastardized BBQ flavor on their tortilla chips either. Aside from the good Mexican food, I even miss Taco Bell (don’t judge, it sustained me throughout high school and college) I think the thing I miss most is good old sugary deficient cereal. You know the kind that doesn’t look like bird seed but has unnatural colors and puts you in a sugar coma after just a few spoonfuls. I also miss the entire snack food aisle from the U.S. but Baked Cheetos in particular. Now I’m hungry & homesick.
I will give the Germans some credit where it is due though, for one Amazon.de delivers most things in just two days. The outdoor window rollos that block out the sun entirely, are this insomniacs best friend. German board games are the best, hands down. Their board games like, Carcassonne, Die Siedler von Catan, Zug um Zug, Thurn & Taxis, just to name a few, kick any Parker Bros. game asses!
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Haw haw! Great comment. I laughed out loud at the hungry and homesick line.
And I couldn’t agree with you more. Dammit, I wish I’d remembered the board games before I wrote that post.
How are things with you these days?
Have a great day!
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Things are good aside from the crap weather of course. I’ve forgotten what the sun looks like (hello vitamin D deficiency). How are things in your neck of the woods? Happy holidays to you and your wife!
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We’re great! Schools are on vacation now, so The Wife is on break. (I still gotta work though.)
Happy holidays to you too!
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OH MY GOODNESS!! It was a great post, I was really enjoying it. Nice and lovely blog. THEN I GOT TO THE MERKEL DIAMONDS AND ALL BETS FOR SANE READING WERE OFF!!! Cracked up and that was that. AWESOME. Thank you.
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Thank you for the kind words, Dana! I’m glad you liked the post.
Happy holidays!
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What I miss here in the U.S.: German bakeries, Aronal&Elmex toothpaste, and Koelln Schokomuesli. We regularly import those (and yes, between the dirty underwear rather than instead of it) in our suitcases when coming back from a family visit. Great post, and everything spot on!
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This is all pretty dang spot on, except that I like the mayonnaise in Germany way better – I don’t touch the stuff in the US. The tilt and turn windows really should be everywhere though – those things are the best!
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I live in LA. Would kill for tilt and turn windows and PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION that you have there. Post was hilarious!
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Thank you Susan! Glad you liked the post!!
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So, so funny Dan! As a British expat living in Germany, I’m with you on some of the things that I miss e.g proper crisps or potato chips, which in England isn’t chips, it’s crisps! Anyway, you’re right with the mayo and ketchup. Yuk! Give me Heinz anytime or better, forget the ketchup, and just use salt, vinegar, and mushy peas. With gravy. Yum! Oh, and I also miss proper tea as the tea in Germany is awful. We actually have to import it. It’s that bad LOL!
On the other hand, what I found different was the tap situation. In England, we have 2 taps: one for scorching hot water, and one for freezing cold water. I was amazed when I observed taps having a mixture of the two. Genius! I also like the fact that even though millions of Germans have enormously good cars, they all pretty much also have bicycles, and they CHOOSE to ride them. On the street, and you won’t get killed! In the UK, it’s sport to try to run down cyclists, as motorists hate ’em!
I love this post. :)
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Thank you, British Berliner! Funny comment!
Happy holidays from us over here in Hannover!
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Likewise. Enjoy the gingerbread!
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When I’m in Europe I miss REAL burgers… you know… not the crap from McDonalds… I’m talking about “Hamburger Hamlet” Burgers (for example) – and REAL pancakes… mmmmmmhhhhhh
And I miss MY shampoo… I have to import it… :-(
When I’m back home I do miss bread… sometimes…
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You must try some of these someday…local to my home…some of the best. http://www.risinghy.com/…
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By the way, my husband, who is German, and who I’ve forwarded your blog post to, chimed in: Fleckenteufel! You must not have yet discovered those little bottles that will get the stains out, and they come in all sorts of “flavors” for the different kinds of stains you could have (downside: You have to know what kind of stain it is, otherwise you’ll do like me and pour out your entire collection onto a single stain, just to be safe…)
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You modern expats have it EASY. In MY day, sonny (the 1980s), American stuff was einfach nicht verfuegbar, punkt. Except certain American breakfast cereals — Tony der Tiger first and foremost.
And then I came home and went into Ritter Sport withdrawal for approximately 25 years, when the little darlings started appearing in Target and Meijer.
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I miss really, really good steaks in the restaurants – a luscious juicy T-bone or Ribeye. I don’t know why I can’t find a really good steak here but I haven’t yet. I think German cows must be a unique breed.
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Dude, if you miss Mexican food, come down to Kaiserslautern. They are mostly guys from India that own the places (same family, multiple locations) but it’s the best around. Even if that is relative where Mexican food prepared by Indians in Germany is concerned
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That’s so weird that you can’t find Stain Sticks. Germany was where we first got them (back in the early 90s) and when we left we really missed them. Years later when they showed up in the States we were super excited! I LOVE mayo on fries, and I miss German mayonnaise. It doesn’t taste like Miracle Whip, that stuff’s nasty. It’s a little sweeter than American mayo but also kind of eggy… mmm. In the Middle East (where we lived for many years growing up) we could only get German or European mayonnaise so to me it tastes like home. (This was an unexpectedly mayonnaise-heavy response lol.) Does The Wife eat that impossibly dense bread, the one that seems to be a solid brick of whole grain kernels steamed and pressed until it has the approximate gravitational pull of a black hole?
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omg this post is just too funny! i literally threw my head back and held my stomach laughing at some of the things you said. I love your blog!
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That’s awesome, Rebecca! Thank you for the kind words.
Keep up the great work with your blog too.
Have an awesome day!
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So funny :D
I just have to add my opinion about american popcorn to that :)
I just came back to Germany from visiting my boyfriend in Texas (we have been in a long distance relationship for 4 months now) and one day we went out to eat and then went to the movies. I was craving something sweet and decided to order popcorn to munch on during the film (btw. the medium is ridiculously huge) – imagine my disappointment on discovering the popcorn was salty! I mean we have salty popcorn here as well, but usually if you don’t specify it you will get the sweet one. It was a really weird feeling eating salty popcorn, but it was surprisingly good :) (but i still prefer it sweet :))
Btw: The stain sticks are called Fleckenteufel here in Germany – but i will admit that not every supermarket has them. You can find them in Rewe and Edeka for example (those 2 i know for sure).
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Hot sauce has taken me more than two years to find here. My beautiful wife, Mrs Awesome, finally found it. A tiny bottle of habanero sauce for Christmas. She must never leave me. She’s now my pusher. Only she knows where to get the good stuff.
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Haw haw! Again, great comment, Cadashworth.
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Lots of these work for France too and I’m right there with you. I majorly miss out of season fruits and vegetables, “normal” toilets and for the love of christ why can’t we buy advil or diarrhea meds in the grocery store and discreetly pay at the self checkout. Pharmacy culture is alive and well here too ;-)
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For stains on your clothes — a product calles “Sil” saptil. Fur Reise &Vorbehandlung. It comes in a big tube – a bit bigger than a toothpaste tube – and works pretty well.
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I knew there were more people out there looking to share this kind of stuff. Even with all the Mexican restaurants in Berlin, I still miss really good burrito among other things. Right now I am also working together with my boyfriend to try and relieve some of the cravings, although it is still a work in progress.
If you guys are interested, have a look at our care package with food from the States. I would be happy to get your feedback to keep improving our idea. :)
http://americanexpatbox.com/
Love, Aimee
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Cool!
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Love the blog, makes me laugh all the time. I realize this is an older post, but I have always heard these toilets referred to as “poo shelf” toilets. I frequently see them as older toilets, not as water savers…though some may be. I read somewhere that they shelf had a purpose. Apparently back in the day the Germans liked to inspect their stool. Thus the inspection shelf.
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Oh god, that is so much worse than I thought… 😀
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Nice. I’m sure I read this before, but thanks for reposting. Funny about the bicycle lights, though — when I was a kid that’s the ONLY type of bicycle light there was (here in Canada), had that little generator unit you attached to the front tire, flicked it down so the drivewheel touched the rubber wall when you wanted the light on. Old school.
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I grind my teeth a lot as well and because I was also unwilling to pay a hell lot of money for a mouthguard (German girl speaking here ;D ), I just bought one of those mouthguards people use for sports like boxing on Amazon. I look like straight out of a horror movie at night with this thing in my mouth but it stops my teeth from grinding so.. it works :D
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