The Book

Like this, only worse.

Want to Help Us Write a Book?

In addition to supporting the articles we’ve been publishing every Monday morning at 8:00am since 2011, we’re hoping to gain a teeny, tiny bit of financial support to complete a book based upon this here blog you’re reading right now.

What’s the Answer? Patreon!

Pretty cool idea these Patreon guys have going, huh. But what would the book actually be about? Love, baby.

See, just like this blog, the book would be a word-driven shrine devoted to my beautiful German wife, relating the hilarious (and accidental) Denglish quotes she drops on a daily basis, plus the crazy instances of culture shock and general misadventures of my life as an American expat who dropped everything and left home to live in Hannover, Germany.

As you can imagine, it’s crazy hard to maintain a weekly blog, work full-time as a self-employed graphic designer, and write a book all at the same time, so the less I have to focus on earning money to help my wife pay the bills each month, the more time I can dedicate to this blog and the forthcoming book.

I am eternally grateful to my 200,000+ blog readers β€” many of whom have been with me since the very start β€” and look forward to thanking every single generous supporter I gain through Patreon.

Support the blog "Oh God, My Wife Is German." -- Become a patron today!
Wow, that logo is just one big pee-hole, isn’t it.

So What Comes Next, and What Do Our Patrons Get Out of All This?

You login with like 2 clicks using your Facebook account or email address. It’s stupid easy. Then, support options range from $1 per month all the way up to $5,000 — so really, it’s whatever the hell you feel like giving us — and each goal we achieve comes with a special reward just for you, including donation incentives like…

Burrow your way into our hearts forever like a beautiful, wonderful little parasite and become our patron today!