My German wife and I are not ready to have kids. I have mentioned this before, and yet the subject just keeps coming up. It continues to arise because all — seriously, all — of our friends are having kids. (And because my wife’s biological clock is probably ticking loud as hell, like a stopwatch hopped up on German engineering.)
I know absolutely nothing about children. I can hardly tell the difference between a 6-month old and a 6-year old. To me, they’re just annoying. All sticky and gross. Like little wood grubs dipped in honey. Man, I am the absolute last person anyone should ask about the bliss of child rearing, but that doesn’t stop my wife; whenever she sees a fresh baby, she feels compelled to fire awkward questions at me, like this little gem from the other day:
THE WIFE: “Do you think, when you have a child and you keep it alive and shit, you get a good feeling?”
Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”
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Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
On reading the title, my first reaction was: There is no joy in parenting.
I’ll follow up with: Not in the romanticized way your wife is expecting.
We were actively not having a child. EVER. However here I sit in Belgium which is something I doubt would have happened if we didn’t have a child.
The Child changes everything. From the way you eat dinner to the way you love.
“Keeping it alive and shit” is the easy part. Not killing it (at times) is far harder.
Love your perspective on things and thanks for the blog!
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Great comment! Thank you for reading, Cadashworth!
What brought you to Belgium in the first place? Was it the child, or did that happen after?
Have a great day!
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It was The Child. She didn’t stand much chance of a good future where we came from. My ancestors – only one generation away – were from Belgium hence the citizenship and decision to go Belgium!
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Ah! Well right on! I’m glad it all worked out.
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If the kid is alive and shit, would you rather raise the kid in Deutschland oder Amerika? Have you guys thought about getting a dog first? If so, which what kind? German Shepard or Golden Retriever?
Btw, I’m from Los Angeles looking to relocate to Munich for work. I stumbled upon your blog and it’s been THE highlight of my week!!!! I’d love to see more posts about living in Germany!
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Hey Christine! I’m so glad you found our blog!
And that’s very cool you’re looking to relocate to Munich! The Wife and I have been there. It’s obviously a super popular destination for living and working.
Thank you for following our blog and commenting. We look forward to hearing from you again soon! Have a great day!
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