As I’ve said before, all of our friends are having babies. The Wife and I are in our early 30s — the real baby-making years — so you can imagine how the infants are dropping all around us like soft pink raindrops. And it isn’t just our friends; it’s friends of friends. Third cousins, casual acquaintances and co-workers… they’re all multiplying like gremlins.
My German wife is still on the fence about the whole ‘having kids’ idea (as am I), so she really notices when someone in her daily life is about to make sperm blossoms. She has all sorts of colorful ways for describing the different stages of human gestation, and I was not at all surprised when she said of her new co-worker:
THE WIFE: “When I first met her, she was highly pregnant.”
Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”
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Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
I believe you get that through the air. Must buy mask!
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Haw haw! I know, right? Don’t catch that baby-fever!
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Your children would have a fantastic advantage though, growing up bilingual in English and German! I wish I could have offered my kids such a chance.
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Haha sure translates right into german. Hochschwanger is what we call a woman in her last weeks of pregnancy.
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Totally! I had no clue at the time, of course. :) It’s been a real educational journey.
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Hee hee – sperm blossoms…
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:) I try not to be too crude. Gotta keep things classy, you know. :)
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“they’re all multiplying like gremlins”
I don’t think there is a better way to describe this :)
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Amen, Glenn! Thank you for reading!
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severe pregnancy = acı hamilelik. While a Turkish writer and English reader reads this kinds of a stuff, i think you’ve to be more of carefulness.
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I don’t quite follow you, Yigi, but thank you for reading and commenting!
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That is a confident woman in that picture; front-loaded and cruising in high-heeled boots. If she tripped, that kid would cross six lanes of traffic!
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Haw haw haw! “Front-loaded.” I know, right? That picture kinda makes me nervous.
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I think you need a beer…”soft pink raindrops”??!! Lovely, but- hold out! As always, your fan from Minnesota- forever childless, but surrounded by a bazillion nieces, nephews, and now, great-ones!
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Haw haw! Hold out, huh? I’m trying! :)
How have you managed to remain childless? (Oh God I hope it was by choice.)
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Yes, choice and circumstance…but if I told you the story I would have to kill you…hahaha. Anyway, if the spirit moves you two…you will have gorgeous little Denglish people!! :)
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Haw haw haw! Thank you, West. But oh please no. Keep the babies away. :)
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SPERM BLOSSOMS?! That is freaking hysterical. This is why I really read your blog. Gems like that truly make my day. Thanks for that :)
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Awesome! Thank you for the comment, Barbara! We’re always pleased to give someone a laugh. :)
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SPERM BLOSSOMS?! That is freaking hysterical! This is why I really read your blog. Gems like that make my day. Thanks for that!
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Liebe Gotterdämmerung, I’m having a right ol’ good chuckle over the phrase “starke Schwangerschaft.” I have you, and only you (well, okay, your words, strictly speaking) to _credit_ for that … no, scratch that … blame … ;-)
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Right on, Fotoeins! Glad you liked it!
Thank you for reading and commenting, as always!
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Bet she translated ‘hochschwanger’ literally. It makes for some pretty funny words. I remember my kids found the literal translation for ‘Staubsauger’ hilarious. Love, love your blog and your sense of humor.
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Oh yeah! “Dust sucker,” right? So awesome.
Glad you like our blog, Floridianerin! We’re glad to have you as a reader.
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Having been highly pregnant myself, I completely agree.
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Haw! Right on, Climbing Bean. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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When I was pregnant, my doctor earnestly told me that I was ‘becoming a baby’, which freaked me out. HerrBCE had to translate the German ‘Sie bekommt ein baby’ to calm me down. ‘Highly pregnant’ made me laugh : )
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Right on, British Cheese Emporium! Thank you for reading and commenting!
Dang, was your doctor making fun of you? How rude. :)
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Haha I guess this is only funny if you speak German too and understand why she thinks that this expression would make sense ;)
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It’s pretty funny in English too, right? God this woman cracks me up.
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Yeah! Yeah! Yes she look self attractives from her subliminal tall Germany woman, with beautiful photogenic pregnancy appearance, that says you real fell into her cookies friandise folk. Nice expectation isn’t it? can’t deny the fruit of one work..
Knowingly, how the English felt about a status expression. I’ll rather says, nothing………………………..lol.
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Did… uh, did you use Google Translate for that comment?
Thank you for reading and commenting. Now I’m gonna go track down Sherlock Holmes to figure out what you just said. :) I’m just kidding! I really appreciate the attempt. And bless you for reading a blog in English in the first place.
Have a great day!
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I remember sitting around our fire pit back in Canada with German friends before moving here and the subject of dental hygiene came up. We were trying to explain to them what “gums” were and then one of them said “ahh…you mean zahnfleisch!” Captain Canada and I looked on in confusion and another friend informed us that it just meant “tooth meat.” Now that we know the language better it all makes sense but at the time I spat out a perfectly good drink over “tooth meat.”
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Haw haw haw! Oh Jesus.
“Honey, did you floss your tooth meat tonight?”
“Yes dear. Medium rare.”
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“hoch” is like a useful prefix to describe a peak like hochschwanger, Hochhaus, Hochsommer, Hochzeit, Hochstimmung, Hochgefühl, Höhepunkt etc.
My son (8) and me, we ate figs yesterday and he asked me, what a fig is called in English. I told him. He started laughing and said: Feige heißt fig, haha, so wie “ich fick dich”.
Now he has a new excuse to use a bad word.
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Oh good gravy. Now he’s gonna go to school and say that. :)
Thank your for reading and for the informative post! Have an awesome day.
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Pregnancy sucks. I think being “Highly pregnant” is a much better descriptor than — “Giant and about to pop.” I am “highly pregnant” and look a lot like the woman in the picture above… except I am usually on a bike. I have to tell you, being a front loaded incubator makes it hard to balance sometimes. Most people are very supportive though! This morning I successfully held a track stand at a stop light in front of Stumptown and when it turned green a whole slew of onlookers cheered for me. :-)
Keep hanging out on the fence, though… just make sure that if you DO spit out a sperm blossom,do it in Germany where family support programs are MUCH better (daycare, healthcare, maternity leave, college etc!) Just my two cents.
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That is fantastic advice! Thank you for the great comment.
Heh heh, you said, “front loaded.”
And I totally agree with you. The family support programs in Germany are phenomenal.
Where did you learn so much about Germany?
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Highly pregnant… of course… since I never had a child I was never in that kind of pregnancy state – but I know the expression. *chuckle*
Thanks for the laugh!
(And no – I don’t feel the need of multiplying like a gremlin – to speak with your words.) LOOOOL
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So very German. :-)
The picture reminds me of a very pregnant guppy. Don’t know why.
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Haw haw! Totally.
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