My German wife and I are not ready to have kids. I have mentioned this before, and yet the subject just keeps coming up. It continues to arise because all — seriously, all — of our friends are having kids. (And because my wife’s biological clock is probably ticking loud as hell, like a stopwatch hopped up on German engineering.)
I know absolutely nothing about children. I can hardly tell the difference between a 6-month old and a 6-year old. To me, they’re just annoying. All sticky and gross. Like little wood grubs dipped in honey. Man, I am the absolute last person anyone should ask about the bliss of child rearing, but that doesn’t stop my wife; whenever she sees a fresh baby, she feels compelled to fire awkward questions at me, like this little gem from the other day:
THE WIFE: “Do you think, when you have a child and you keep it alive and shit, you get a good feeling?”
Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”
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Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
Oh my god that’s hilarious. Your wife, from everything you’ve said, seems *completely* adorable. My (German as all hell) girlfriend says some hilarious shit too; I’m tempted to start writing them down. ^^
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Kiefer, you GOTTA start your own blog! Write down the stuff your girlfriend says! If you don’t want to make the commitment, you can always type up a short anecdote and I’ll feature it in our Guest post section. I would love to!
Have a great day!
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“and you keep it alive and shit” yes, when you keep it alive, it does shit. And so will you.
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NICE, life. Very nice. :)
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