Denglish 90: Coastal Breezes at the Oregon Coast Affect Exactly ONE Part of My German Wife’s Body

The Oregon Coast Beach
The Oregon Coast: Where hope is unwelcome and dreams come to die.

My German wife and I love to go to the Oregon Coast. It’s our favorite vacation destination, despite the fact that the beaches are awful. You see, except for like one or two days per year, Oregon beaches are gray, windy, cold and depressing. There are more rocks leading up to the water than sand, and the sky is the color of a suffocated campfire. The wind is so strong it inverts your umbrella the second you expand it, leaving your skin exposed to frigid drops of rain and sharpened grains of sand, which, at 80 mph, feel exactly like tiny little razor blades slicing the words “go home” into your calves. Our beaches are so depressing, even the seagulls are on antidepressants… just flying in circles, around and around, wondering why they even bother to flap their wings anymore.

But still, there something about all that misery which makes my wife and I feel right at home. For me, it’s that same feeling you get in wintertime; so long as you’re indoors, you’re all warm, comfy and grateful because you aren’t outside being beaten to death by the elements. For my German wife, apparently, it has something to do with fresh air and a feeling of renewal, because she had only this to say about our plans to return to the Oregon Coast for the holidays:

THE WIFE: “I love the beach. It is where the wind blows around my nose.”

Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”

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25 thoughts

  1. I think you are very unfair, I got an Oregon-Postcard today (Postcrossing) – and the sunset on Haystack Rock is absolutely adorable. You just want to keep all that beauty to yourself, admit it!

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  2. Got to love the Oregon Coast! Age 12-21 I went every year to the Lincoln City area. Grey, yes, but still beautiful. Not to mention the delicious salt water taffy! Strangely enough, I understand the “wind around my nose” perspective. As well as the sand in your eyes, mouth and everywhere else! Being short has some downfalls.

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      1. I suppose short depends on the perspective. 5’7″ is where I sit, and the sand always finds a way to my eyes. My sister, however is a dainty 5’1″ and has to practically wear goggles on the beach.

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  3. Gosh I love and miss the Oregon coast! My husband and I are also particularly fond of visiting during the winter. I guess we figure if we’re going for misery, we might as well go all out.

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  4. The picture is beautiful – and I love the thought of wind. I enjoy wind very much! I’d be standing outside in a Tornado if I weren’t so scared to be hit by a flying truck. *chuckle*
    And yes… I definitely do feel the wind blowing around my nose too. LOL
    Cute!!

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