Back in March of 2012, my wife and I were in the kitchen cooking chili. (And not just any chili, but ultra spicy, bowel shivering, anus puckering death chili.)
During the course of the food preparation, we struck up a conversation about German vocabulary. Specifically, she taught me how to say the word “television,” which is “der Fernseher.” Literally, “Fernseher” translates into English as “far seer.” I nodded and stroked my chin, and we both took a moment to enjoy the blatantly obvious logic behind this discovery. Then my wife smiled and gestured with a large wooden spoon in her hand, swirling it in the air like a magic wand of knowledge, declaring:
“I like when we speak German together so that we are both learning. Like Tarzan and Jane.”*
*Guess which one of us is the cultured debutante, and which one is the talking monkeyboy in a loincloth…
If you would like to read another post about my German wife’s wonderful talent for unique articulation, check out this other gem: Coastal Breezes at the Oregon Coast Affect Exactly ONE Part of My German Wife’s Body
Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
You stroked your chin whilst making chili? Lol it could have easily ended with you hopping like Tarzan in pain!
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:) True. Of course, it’s not like I jammed my fist into a jar of crushed red peppers first. (Although that’s something I would totally do.)
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Have you “jammed your hand hand into a jar of crushed red peppers” and then went to use the bathroom, #1…. Yeeeeeowwwwwwwww….
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Haw haw! No, but I have a friend who did exactly that. Just one little touch to the side of his nutsack and he said he was done for an hour.
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Yep, heard something like that from my ex, too. But then it was HIM to insist on taking even one more firy chili. Since he sliced them I did not complain …
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Reblogged this on Logan Keys Fiction and commented:
Hahaha!
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Anus puckering LOL. So how do you spice up the chili with German ingredients?
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I order them from Amazon. :)
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I hate to be the unsufferable know-it-all again but “television” means exactly the same. Just out of curiosity, what exactly was SHE learning at this moment? Or was she just being polite so that you wouldn’t feel like a monkeyboy (which obviously failed)?
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Just being polite, although teaching me makes her stop and consider the language, I think.
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I got 2 son in laws that like their chili and they make it like you do.. Great blog decided to follow
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