Jogging sucks. You know it, and I know it. Even professional athletes and marathon runners know it; they just won’t admit it.
Every stride is a test. Every thundering heartbeat, every burning lungful of air, every aching muscle and swollen joint is a lesson in willpower. Your mind whispers conspiratorially, “You know, we could make this end right now. We could stop this pain if we wanted to. We can run for real tomorrow; let’s just walk today. Walking is good enough, right?” And then some ancient German granny in spandex totally dusts you, and you think, “Not today, Raisin Wrinkles. I’m not losing this race to the old witch from Hansel and Gretel.”
And if you’re me, you pull out your iPhone and start filming things while you jog. Here is a video of me jogging around the Maschsee in Hannover, Germany. The circumference of the Maschsee is 6.3 km, or 3.9 miles. Pretty hard, for a terrible jogger like me. It’s even harder when I’m holding my iPhone out in front of me and talking at the same time. I got a lot of funny looks from the Germans I passed, but I ignored them all because I was too busy trying not to hurl.
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Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
Hahahaha…excellent commentary- especially “no, it sucks..” and ” I hope everything burns to the ground…” My muffled (cynical-but-don’t always mean-it) self feels unleashed…
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Oh totally. That last mile… it just ruins everything. :)
Are you a jogger?
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Hahahahaha….no. I would be thinking thinking those things within the first minute. I DO ride a bicycle.
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Nice! I’m looking forward to biking around the Maschsee too. I’m hoping it will be easier on my knees. I’m such a wuss. :)
Is the weather nice enough for you to bike this weekend?
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It is SNOWING still. Last year it was ‘summer’…this year, well- not so much. We remain hopeful :). Gute Nacht (I took a semester of German in college- under duress. I can’t remember how to spell ‘good’.) I am pretty good at the guttural stuff…nacchhhtt!
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Haw haw haw! I’m terribly at those guttural “r” sounds. Sounds like you’ve got a great accent though!
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Brilliant. I love this blog so much it’s a bit sad.
As a disgustingly lazy Aussie, I am very much looking forward to not accompanying my German boyfriend on his ‘wandern’ missions. I will stay at home and hold the fort. As long as the fort holding does not require me to attempt to communicate in German. This situation could only end badly.
Love your work.
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Why thank you, Dominique! Such lovely compliments. They made me blush.
Yeah, these Germans seem to love their walks and hikes, don’t they? It’s like they’ve never heard of food comas before. :)
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