Let me begin this post by saying I am not a smart man.
Okay, so I was walking my dog this morning when we stumbled into an overgrown field of stinging nettle, known in Germany as, “die Brennnessel.” We’d spent the previous hour navigating a narrow trail — roughly the width of my foot — lined on both sides with this evil shit. My exposed shins had already been brushed a dozen times by a few uppity leaves, and I was sick of being stung by them. Turning around was not an option. So, I switched my camera on and recorded myself attempting to leap over the nettle to a safe, clear, wonderful patch of dirt.
It did not go well.
*** WARNING: Video contains a little bit of swearing. Just a smidge. ***
And here are a few pictures of the aftermath: burning, itching, stinging and swelling — followed by the gradual diminishing of the rash — and me switching back to my “indoor” voice as I continued to swear like a sailor with the clap.
Please click one of the images to start the slideshow:
Doesn’t hurt anymore, but even as I type this — several hours after the incident — my shins still have that pins and needles sensation, like when you sit on the pooper for too long and both your legs fall asleep.
Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day!
— OGM
Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
See, your FIRST mistake was going out in Germany with shorts.
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But the sun was shining! I swear!
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I feel your pain, too. Learned that lesson as a wee toddler, never forgot it — when in the fatherland. Here in Ontario, though, I’m always thinking, “That can’t be Brennnessel, can it? Looks like it. Do we even have that here? Shit!”
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Haw haw
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