Our New Beagle Puppy: That First Week at Home with Yeti

beagle puppy on subway
“What’s up, buddy? Pretty sweet public transportation system, huh?”

I’ve already written two articles about what it’s like to find, purchase and raise a dog in Germany:

And finally the waiting is over: We got to pick up our 9-week-old beagle puppy from the breeder’s place and take him to his new home in Hannover. We named him Yeti, after the horrifying snow monster of Nepal. (Also known as the Abominable Snowman.)

windigo yeti Abominable Snowman
“Windi-GO!” — (Image Credit: JD Hancock [https://www.flickr.com/photos/jdhancock/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)
In the States, we pronounce Yeti super fast, like, “Yeddie.” (As in Yeddie Vedder or Yeddie Van Halen.) But in Germany, they spell it Jeti, and pronounce it more like, “Yay-tee.” Anyway, my wife and I knew going into this our beagle puppy would likely be the cutest thing in the Universe, so we wanted to give him a name which would totally undermine that fact. (And rather accurately reflect the merry hell he would undoubtedly wreak upon our lives.)

adorable beagle puppy
Just LOOK at that little terrorist…

And wreak hell he did! Oh my sweet holy Christ, if I had to do it all over, I’m not sure I would get a fresh puppy again. Those first couple of nights, he woke up every 2 hours to either piss on the floor or whine like he was being tortured. Or both. Neither my wife nor I got a lot of sleep at the beginning. And taking care of him was a 24-hour job. The only breaks we got — like to work, eat or do chores — was when he passed out. Kind of like a newborn baby, only not as disgusting.

Here are a few things I learned right away:

  • Cleanliness is a luxury. After having a puppy for just a few hours, I found myself covered in filth: hair, mud, grass, slobber, snot, piss, shit… you name it, I was wearing it.
  • I lost track of which day it was. Seriously. After just a couple days without sleep, I thought an entire month had passed. A lifetime, even.
  • Spare time became a thing of that past. During these days, I was just grateful for a quiet moment in which to lotion my hands and trim my nostril hairs. (This is not a joke.)
  • Northern Germans have an unfair reputation. They’ve been stereotyped as cold, reserved and unfriendly, but if you want to discover just how warm and friendly northern Germans can be, walk around your neighborhood with a beagle puppy on a leash. God damn, people stopped me every other block to gush about Yeti. (And for a shy introvert like me, this is both exhausting and terrifying.)
  • Our beagle is German. We bought him a KONG chew toy, right? And all the Americans I know put a little peanut butter inside, so the dog will be occupied for hours trying to lick at it. Not Yeti. He totally ignored my awesome American style peanut butter in favor of liverwurst. Clearly war has been declared.
American style peanut butter in germany
“Thanks asshole! Your mother won’t help me either, so now I have to eat this all by myself and get fat. Like a true American.”

But nothing I write here today can do justice to what my wife and I truly experienced during that first week at home with our new beagle puppy. So, I hope you’ll crank up your speakers and enjoy this little video I put together, which provides a 7-day glimpse into our new life with Yeti.

Thank you for watching and have an awesome day!

— OGM

16 thoughts

  2. Enjoyed the video! As an animal lover who is reduced to accosting strangers’ dogs in the park to get my daily four-legged fix (I live in a very small flat and I can’t even get a hamster because the little bastards live for two years and I am here in Germany – from Australia – for precisely one day less than two years, so why risk it?) I really appreciated the dogginess on display. My social anxiety makes my park encounters so much more awkward than they need to be but the dogs don’t seem to give a shit – probably why I love animals. Hey, your Germany is pretty good, gives me hope :D Two things: With that white stripe on his nostril, Yeti looks like he has a nose-ring – hardcore cute! Also, smooth peanut butter in the Kong? No wonder he isn’t interested – crunchy or GTFO. Oh yes, and one more thing, as an Aussie to an American – FANNY PACK?!! Oh my sides. Thanks mate!

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  4. The terror and the cuteness all in one package! Best of luck during the puppy months; I just got through helping my sister in law through the puppy stage of a mini Australian Shepherd.

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      1. Absolutely! It’s interesting: they haven’t been as faithful or consistent in keeping him obedient, but he listens to me almost perfectly.

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  6. Pingback: Yeti the Evil Beagle – Oh God, My Wife Is German.
  8. Pingback: Leinenzwang: The German Dog Leash Law I Wanna Kick in the Dick – Oh God, My Wife Is German.

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