Learning German is hard. We all know that. But back when I was in my first German class in 2012, I remember learning a few basics about grammar and verb conjugation, and thinking to myself, “Hey, maybe I’m making some progress! Maybe I’ll actually learn this ugly bastard!”
Oh silly little American nerd — I had no idea what I was in for. German keeps getting more and more complex the deeper you go, and unless you’ve been doing a perfect job of memorizing those godforsaken gender-based articles along the way, you will make mistakes every single time you open your yap and try to speak it.
But my wife, God bless her, has been 110% supportive the entire time. Never a discouraging word. Always telling me how great I’m doing, how I’m learning so much, and how I will become fluent someday. She’s fantastic like that. She still has to correct me when I make big mistakes, however, which is why our conversation back in May of 2012 went like this: We had just come home from a trip to the beach and were unpacking our bags, when suddenly I had to go poop really bad. Like, Red Alert bad. So I dropped the bags, pointed my finger to the sky and proudly announced:
ME: “Ich gehe zu scheißen!” (“I’m going to shit!”)
…to which my wife replied…
THE WIFE: “Good job. That is right, but it is very rude.”
Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
I don’t know whether to envy you for your in-house moderator (aka ‘wife’) who could save you from potential public embarrassment or be grateful that I only discover the horrific nature of my errors in German when I go to my weekly German class and receive tactful feedback from my tutor. Thanks for a fun blog!
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Cool! Which level German class are you taking? Beginner? Advanced?
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Hmm, I’m still only on A2 after almost two and a half years. I shall attempt to scrape back some dignity by emphasising that I only have classes once a week and only when my kids are not sick or on school holidays! Es geht sehr langsam… The day I can understand ALL the gossip in the Bunte mag will be a happy day indeed!
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Hi Wordy Cara,
Yeah, once per week is super slow. I sometimes question my 3x per week class. Obviously it’s better to spread language learning evening throughout the week, but hey; we’ve all got stuff to do, right?
Have a great evening!!
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Well, it is vulgar to say it to strangers, but towards family it is possible to use it. My grandpa used “scheißen” when he REALLY needed to drop a deuce (yes, I am aware, that is vulgar, too). And besides, Germans are normally not so worked up when you use a four letter word (no matter how many letters the word has). We are way more relaxed with coarse language. My german French-teacher even tought me to say MERDE. Strange enough, the British and Americans use the f-bomb far more often than the Germans – even though it is less of an issue for us.
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Thank you for the funny and informative comment, Fran! Have you ever thought about writing a post about your grandfather? I’d read it.
Yeah, I haven’t learned enough to swear properly in German. That should be on the next exam.
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