My German wife and I are not ready to have kids. I have mentioned this before, and yet the subject just keeps coming up. It continues to arise because all — seriously, all — of our friends are having kids. (And because my wife’s biological clock is probably ticking loud as hell, like a stopwatch hopped up on German engineering.)
I know absolutely nothing about children. I can hardly tell the difference between a 6-month old and a 6-year old. To me, they’re just annoying. All sticky and gross. Like little wood grubs dipped in honey. Man, I am the absolute last person anyone should ask about the bliss of child rearing, but that doesn’t stop my wife; whenever she sees a fresh baby, she feels compelled to fire awkward questions at me, like this little gem from the other day:
THE WIFE: “Do you think, when you have a child and you keep it alive and shit, you get a good feeling?”
Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”
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Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
you may not be ready , but when you get asked by her about kids, she’s probably hinting that she would like one. No one really knows about kids till they have one for themselves. good luck and don’t wait too long to have a Li’l rugrat. ;)
Love your site, I am a fellow American here in Wuppertal married to a german woman. I’m from PA and I have a friend from OR near where you are from. so I get your insight. We are on the same page most of the time and it’s like reading a page that I would write. Keep it up!
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Awesome! That’s great to hear, Heath.
Please ask you Oregon friend to get in touch with me. We need all the networking help we can get!
Thank you for reading and commenting man! Very nice to hear from you.
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Bahaha, she sure knows how to ask the right questions. Such a shame you didn’t get to meet my kids. One is a baby and fairly cool unless his teething makes him majorly annoying (not to mention grubby), and the other one is a 4-year old sweetheart who can totally get your goat when he’s at his best. They would take care of your wife’s secret desires for sure.
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I know! I’m so sorry we couldn’t meet up this time. But I really appreciate you making the effort and letting us know in advance.
Next time for sure! You rock, Sandra.
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