As I’ve said before, all of our friends are having babies. The Wife and I are in our early 30s — the real baby-making years — so you can imagine how the infants are dropping all around us like soft pink raindrops. And it isn’t just our friends; it’s friends of friends. Third cousins, casual acquaintances and co-workers… they’re all multiplying like gremlins.
My German wife is still on the fence about the whole ‘having kids’ idea (as am I), so she really notices when someone in her daily life is about to make sperm blossoms. She has all sorts of colorful ways for describing the different stages of human gestation, and I was not at all surprised when she said of her new co-worker:
THE WIFE: “When I first met her, she was highly pregnant.”
Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”
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Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
Pregnancy sucks. I think being “Highly pregnant” is a much better descriptor than — “Giant and about to pop.” I am “highly pregnant” and look a lot like the woman in the picture above… except I am usually on a bike. I have to tell you, being a front loaded incubator makes it hard to balance sometimes. Most people are very supportive though! This morning I successfully held a track stand at a stop light in front of Stumptown and when it turned green a whole slew of onlookers cheered for me. :-)
Keep hanging out on the fence, though… just make sure that if you DO spit out a sperm blossom,do it in Germany where family support programs are MUCH better (daycare, healthcare, maternity leave, college etc!) Just my two cents.
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That is fantastic advice! Thank you for the great comment.
Heh heh, you said, “front loaded.”
And I totally agree with you. The family support programs in Germany are phenomenal.
Where did you learn so much about Germany?
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“hoch” is like a useful prefix to describe a peak like hochschwanger, Hochhaus, Hochsommer, Hochzeit, Hochstimmung, Hochgefühl, Höhepunkt etc.
My son (8) and me, we ate figs yesterday and he asked me, what a fig is called in English. I told him. He started laughing and said: Feige heißt fig, haha, so wie “ich fick dich”.
Now he has a new excuse to use a bad word.
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Oh good gravy. Now he’s gonna go to school and say that. :)
Thank your for reading and for the informative post! Have an awesome day.
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