On February 2nd, 2013, The Wife and I took a trip to the Hannover Tiergarten. The word “Tiergarten” translates literally to “Animal Garden,” which always makes me think of snarling lions springing from cabbage crops and giraffes falling from fruit trees — splattering on the ground beside pink afterbirths of overripe fruit pulp. Can you imagine? Fur-covered limbs sprouting from roots and blossoms. Yellowed fangs stabbing outward from bramble thickets. Green vegetable juice spraying into the eyes of stunned onlookers. Children pawing at their parent’s coat sleeves, trying to hide their eyes and escape a lifetime of emotional scarring. The crowd turning to run — a moment too late — for Spring has arrived at… The Animal Garden.
Anyway, we came across these disgusting pigs called “Wildschweine,” and I decided to film them slogging through their own filth. These videos made me want to stop eating pork forever. Seriously, I was done. No more swine for me. Then I snapped out of it, glanced at my calendar and realized it was time for my monthly Bacon Bath!
“Honey, call the butcher and fire up Charlotte’s Web; I’ve got my ham goggles on and I’m diving into a bathtub full of porkbellies!”
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Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
Aww, they remind me of my Olde English Bulldogges rooting around in the snow. Although my dogs snort more frequently and much louder.
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Nice! What were their names?
The Wife won’t let me get a bulldog. Not even a pug. Dammit. :(
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Gemma & Shocker. That is a bummer, they are awesome dogs, not to mention that they are hilarious.
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“Shocker!” I love it!
I know, right? I want a pug because it would make me laugh and smile every day. Nevermind their breathing problems — this American needs to be entertained.
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Shocker came with his name and it wasn’t worth trying to change it. He didn’t come to live with us until he was over one and a half years old so he was a bit too old to go changing his name. Also, he isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed if you know what I mean. So he also answers to a myriad of other names and words. lol
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Haw haw haw!
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That is very sad. Pigs do not like that environment. They need bushes and grasses. They only like dirt or mud to roll into to keep bugs off. That Tiergarten should be ashamed of how they are treating that pig.
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…and there were like 10 pigs in that muddy slop too…
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