Video: Expat Couple Mocks Wild Pigs at the Tiergarten in Hannover, Germany

On February 2nd, 2013, The Wife and I took a trip to the Hannover Tiergarten. The word “Tiergarten” translates literally to “Animal Garden,” which always makes me think of snarling lions springing from cabbage crops and giraffes falling from fruit trees — splattering on the ground beside pink afterbirths of overripe fruit pulp. Can you imagine? Fur-covered limbs sprouting from roots and blossoms. Yellowed fangs stabbing outward from bramble thickets. Green vegetable juice spraying into the eyes of stunned onlookers. Children pawing at their parent’s coat sleeves, trying to hide their eyes and escape a lifetime of emotional scarring. The crowd turning to run — a moment too late — for Spring has arrived at… The Animal Garden.

Anyway, we came across these disgusting pigs called “Wildschweine,” and I decided to film them slogging through their own filth. These videos made me want to stop eating pork forever. Seriously, I was done. No more swine for me. Then I snapped out of it, glanced at my calendar and realized it was time for my monthly Bacon Bath!

“Honey, call the butcher and fire up Charlotte’s Web; I’ve got my ham goggles on and I’m diving into a bathtub full of porkbellies!”

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37 thoughts

  1. Hey,

    Part of the forest that adjoins our subdivision is set aside as a Wildgehege, with two separate (and large) areas, one with Wildschweine, and the other with Mufflon and Rehe. They are all interesting to watch on our walks, especially since there are two sibling deer that are albino.



  2. That is very sad. Pigs do not like that environment. They need bushes and grasses. They only like dirt or mud to roll into to keep bugs off. That Tiergarten should be ashamed of how they are treating that pig.


      1. Shocker came with his name and it wasn’t worth trying to change it. He didn’t come to live with us until he was over one and a half years old so he was a bit too old to go changing his name. Also, he isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed if you know what I mean. So he also answers to a myriad of other names and words. lol


  3. I gave up pork once, after Biology II in high school, where I learned first hand that they really do have a hair in their chinny chin chin. Didn’t last long. Bacon is bacon, after all.


  4. These guys are quite the attraction in Hanover, I went there last year with my sister and her family. Apparently you can feed them with either acorns or spagetti – they won’t accept anything else.


      1. Yes, I started a new blog and gave up the old one.
        And I just had my first Meetup. It was awesome!!

        LG Anja


      2. I chose an Italian Restaurant in my neighborhood where we could sit all together on a long table on the heated patio. It was really cool and lot’s of fun. Here is the link:

        Long Beach German KlönTalk Group

        Long Beach, CA
        150 Members

        Herzlich willkomme to the Long Beach German KlönTalk Group. This is a group for anyone interested in the German Language and Culture. Chat with German Speakers to practice spe…

        Check out this Meetup Group →


  5. Love the last video’s ending! Ha Ha And hearing the commentary. I think you should add more videos with you and your wife speaking German. Plus your wife’s laugh is contagious. Love it!


  6. March 1st is National Pig Day! And I love your bizarre imagery! I once heard someone talking about the KGB and the image that came to my demented mind was that of a HUGE bee, sneaking around and generally being cagey – the Cagey Bee…. Great minds think alike!


  7. Die Wildschweine scheinen aber nicht sehr wild zu seien! And let me tell you, your German sounds almost exactly like my oldest brother’s and he’s been speaking it for over 50 years … it just sounds like you’re trying too hard to make it sound perfect.
    Going to sniff my Maggi bottle now. :-)


      1. We were all born in Canada (3 of us), but are first generation, and learned German before English. My middle brother and I could always pass for native speakers when we were “at home” in Deutschland, but that first born just never managed it.


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