Speaking German with an American Accent (and a Vicious Cold)

Trying to Speak the German Language with an American Accent
“I don’t… I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. Please help me.”

Ever since the holidays, I’ve been slammed with work from my graphic design business. My wife and I are also raising a beagle puppy, and, as a bonus, I caught a wicked cold this past weekend. In short, I had no time to write a proper blog post for you this week. Instead, I slapped a pair of my wife’s panties over my head (in a half-assed attempt to retain some form of anonymity) and recorded this video, wherein I attempt to speak the German language and point out one aspect I find particularly difficult to deal with — the guttural “R.”

Here’s the video. I hope you dig it. ***WARNING*** I think I dropped an F-bomb in there somewhere…

Thank you for watching and have an awesome day!


37 thoughts

  1. Not so bad, really ;-) I hope I’m not the only one picking up on the fact that Möhren in fact are not rot sondern orange! Oh, and I’m just going to write the word Unterhose for the fun of it because I hope that it will bring some weird google searchers to your site :D Thühüß!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Not so swell unfortunately. Do you remember 2016, the Year from Hell? Well, it came after us as well. Right until the 31st when the last minor catastrophe almost forced us to shut down our business. However, things have been looking up since then, so maybe we will resume a semblance of normalcy in our lives soon.


      2. You are a star! Unfortunately, customers we do have. What we lack right now is a place to continue (working on it at the moment). I will take you up on the offer though if I need help, promise! Thanks so much for offering :)


  2. It helps to pronounce the guttural “R” if you’re chewing gum so you have a lot of spit in the back of your throat.


  3. Hey you’re doing better than I am. I’m attempting to learn German from Duolingo. I can hear the cold in you… maybe you need more snot to do the rolling R? I just listen to Rammstein. Till can roll ’em out without even taking a extra breath. Love your blog. Love Germany. Also how did you find panties to fit your face so well ? Hope you feel better soon!


  4. Hey Man!

    Stumbled across your blog the other day, I’ve not stopped laughing at it ever since :) Great work.

    I’ve been learning German myself and I came across a great video tutorial for the R sound, if you want to check it out. I do some work for language learning blogs so I find myself drowning in this stuff haha! You can check it out here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXvml2zZ0tE&feature=youtu.be&a).

    I sometimes try to do the Spanish rolled R when I need a clearer pronunciation OR just pretend like I’m hacking up a fucking furball.

    Get well soon!


  5. Hey Stranger,

    As far as the R pronunciation goes, just relax. I’m surrounded by Germans during the day, and I’ve rarely heard “Rot” spoken with a rolled R. OK, it’s not an Ami “are” sound, more like forcing air past the R when you say it (at least in the Ruhrgebiet), I’m sure it’s different in Bavaria and other regions where the dialects are different.

    Ich wünsche dir gute Besserung!



  6. I have the perfect solution for you. Just move to the Wetterau region of Hesse. They pronounce the “r” just like Americans do. Move there and you’ll feel like you are surrounded by Americans with perfect German whose ONLY mistake is mispronouncing the “r”


    1. I just realized that you should not move there since that would make you sound like the village idiot who is obviously a local (what with your perfect Wetterau “R”) but makes all these weird mistakes.
      Joking aside, I think your German sounds quite good actually and if you just shortened the “r” sound a bit it should be near perfect.


  7. Loved this video! Your German’s really good! I always get a bit of Britishness slip out of me when I speak German, but hey – accents are part of us I guess!
    The “r” is a real tricky one. I remember when I lived in Hannover, I asked what the word for “two or more women from Hannover” would be… the answer is “Hannoveranerinnen”. It took me a long time before I could say that one! Then you get the sentence “Die Hannoveranerinnen sind Lehrerinnen”… why, German, why?!
    Anyway, keep up the awesome posts! I enjoy reading :)


  8. Gute Besserung! :-)

    I think your German pronounciation is excellent for your level, and it sounds to me like you already have a pretty good handle on the R – which really is a very tricky thing for US English speakers to get right. It’s just a question of hanging in there. Übung macht den Meister!

    I also find that children’s books and TV programs are a great help when learning a language, and would like to recommend a favorite of mine (and a children’s classic) for that purpose: Das kleine Gespenst by Otfried Preußler.

    BTW, I was very amused by the panties, and the off-hand, matter-of-fact way you mentioned that you were wearing them on your face. Just thought you should know that. ;-)


      1. If you do read the book, I’d love to know what you think! Preußler also wrote a number of other lovely kids’ classics like Die kleine Hexe and the Räuber Hotzenplotz books. I’m sure your wife can tell you about them! :-)

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Personaly i think your German is very good and you don’t need to feel bad for it. Plus your in accent sound charming, atleast imho. So i hope you feel better soon and maybe you’ll find the courage to do another vid without panties on your face. Btw. what did your awesome german wife thought about you wearing her underwear? ;-)

    Greetings form Oldenburg


      1. I was super confused as to why your comment is dated tomorrow (still the 27th here) until I remembered you’re in Germany and probably set your blog time to German time.

        That being said, I’m totally going to make my husband pronounce all those same things you did and film him because American accents are the best.


  10. For anonymity, it is critical to cover your eyes with sunglasses. That’s one of the critical measures used in face-recognition, distance between the eyes. Just sayin’… ;)
    Nice work!


  11. Try speaking German when you are German but can’t do the R anymore because you didn’t know that it was a ‘uvular’ sound and your uvula,was removed. Ugh….
    Now I sound like I am hacking and coughing up a fur ball when I try.


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