WTF, Google? Perplexing Search Engine Terms Which (Apparently) Attract Blog Readers

Our blog readers are awesome. I love ’em. They’re that rare sort of audience which can appreciate pseudo-intellectual observations regarding expat life in Germany, while at the same time laugh at me for not knowing the difference between a German ‘Schreber Garden’ and a surprisingly well-manicured cesspool of human despair.

See, people come to this blog to read my wife’s hilarious Denglish quotes, or to learn about the culture shock I’ve experienced as an American citizen living in Hannover, Germany. But what never fails to surprise me is the shocking number of people who inadvertently stumble upon our site due to confused, misdirected, or sometimes just bizarre Google searches — most of which involve frightening porn queries, sad or crying Muslim girls, and German women using the bathroom. (Seriously. That last one is super popular.)

So, I’ve taken screenshots of these latest search terms and highlighted my favorites in yellow. Please click the first thumbnail image below to start the slideshow. (WARNING: Many contain terminology which is offensive, sexually explicit or just plain batshit insane.)

Summary:

I love all our blog readers. Even these freaks. I mean, what’s the big deal? They make me laugh, and for that, I must award their creative Google search engine terms with no less than 4 out of 5 Merkel Diamonds:

But what about you? Got any weird or funny search terms of your own? Let us know in the comments section below!

And as always, thank you for reading and have an awesome day!

— OGM