In general, people come to our blog for a quick laugh: maybe to read one of my wife’s priceless Denglish quotes, or perhaps to read about some of the culture shock I’ve experienced as an American expat in Germany. What surprises me, however, is the sheer number of people who’ve accidentally stumbled across our little blog here as a result of misdirected Google searches. And by misdirected, I mean porn. (Oh god, so much porn.)
For this post, I’ve taken screenshots of the latest search terms used to bring people to our site, then highlighted my personal favorites in yellow. Please click the first thumbnail image below to start the slideshow. (WARNING: Things get colorful real quick):
Summary:
Every day I find at least one search in my web traffic reports which makes me laugh, and for that, I must award our accidental visitors with a solid (but very naughty) 4 out of 5 Merkel Diamonds:
Do you have any questions about these search terms? I sure as hell do. Like, what’s with all the image searches for sad and/or crying Muslim girls? And why do so many people want to see Germans peeing? And how — in the name of all that is holy — do these things point to my blog? I don’t mean to judge or anything, but Jesus…
Anyway, thank you for reading and have a wonderful day!
— OGM
Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
I found you while searching information to learn about citizenship… still ongoing!
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Hahaha. You got some good ones!
In the past 30 days, two people have found my blog by searching: “what happens if you smoke pot in front of a ferret.” I don’t think I’ve ever written about pot, ferrets, or what happens when you smoke pot in front of a ferret.
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Haw haw!
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I had TONS of fun with these. Thanks so much for the giggle.
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Nice! Glad you liked ’em, Aurora!
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I was once Googling something about “Leave it to Beaver” — you can only begin to imagine some of the places that led me to!
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