Reader Survey: Should I Self-Publish a Book Based upon My Blog, ‘Oh God, My Wife Is German.’?

bad writing writers block funny frustrated author
“Help me. Oh please God help me.” — Image Credit: Drew Coffman (https://www.flickr.com/photos/drewcoffman/) — Image subject to CC 2.0 License.

Hello, my dear, devoted and totally awesome readers. I need your help:

For a few years now, I’ve been considering writing a self-published book stemming from this blog, but I need some information from you first before I embark on such a ridiculous adventure. Below is a survey which will help me out a lot as I make my decision. Would you mind taking like 5 seconds out of your day to answer a few questions?

If so: you rule. If not: that’s okay too (dick). But as you answer, please assume the following:

  1. The book would contain 100% sarcastic humor, just like this blog.
  2. It would tell the story beginning from the moment my German wife and I met in the United States, right on up to today, as we live together in Hannover, Germany.
  3. It would contain several of my wife’s very best Denglish quotes. (A ‘greatest hits’ type section, if you will.)
  4. It would weave my most traumatic culture shock experiences throughout the story.
  5. It would NOT be a simple regurgitation of the posts you’ve already read on this blog.
  6. It would be completely hilarious. (I hope. Because if it’s not, I will throw myself off the nearest bridge.)

With these things in mind, here we go!

 

That’s it! So, uh… thank you very much for your time!

Bunny with a pancake on its head
“Seriously though: THANK YOU. You guys rock.” — Image Credit: Andreas Matern (https://www.flickr.com/photos/amatern/) — Subject to CC 2.0 License. (Text added by me, though it is hardly original.)

Oh, and if you can think of anything else I’ve forgotten or might consider in terms of self-publishing, please leave me a note in the comments section below.

Have an awesome week everyone! YEAH!!

— OGM

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27 thoughts

  1. I really hate you for being freshly pressed, even though I think it is probably the kiss of death (that’s the grief talking). I voted, I didn’t want to be a dick.

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      1. I voted a big fat yes! I would buy your book for $5.99 or download it for free. I love books that humiliate spouses. I might write one myself.

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  2. I would actually hold on self-publish. Get it polished up and submit to German and American publishers. Memoirs about ex-pat should have a niche audience. But you also have the reader and web presence to make the effort worthwhile for a publisher to look at your work. It may end up digitally self-published after all.

    But shopping around would give you feedback on what sales a book in both cultures, too. There’s steps to take, of course. But it’d also keep the costs lower on your end, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, publish. Not only for the Denglish but I’m sure I’m not the only one interested in ex-pat experiences and culture shock. As for price — ebook top price I’d pay is $2 but print version I’d go as high as $10. Don’t ask why, I don’t know, I’m just willing to pay more for an actual copy. Maybe I’m old.

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  4. I voted yes, publish. Not only for the Denglish but I’m sure I’m not the only one interested in ex-pat experiences and culture shock. As for price — ebook top price I’d pay is $2 but print version I’d go as high as $10. Don’t ask why, I don’t know, I’m just willing to pay more for an actual copy. Maybe I’m old.

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  5. I think self-publishing is fine as long as you have one or two good editors to turn to. Price, to me, depends on how many pages it contains and if it is hard cover or soft cover. And you might consider publishing in both digital and “real” book form.

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  6. I’m definitely old(-fashioned) and prefer real books to eBooks. For a real book I wouldn’t think twice about $10 and would give serious consideration to $15, but I wouldn’t spend either on an eBook. I agree with the advice above about polishing and searching for a publisher.

    Love the bunny with a pancake on his head. He’s what convinced me to vote.

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  7. I am the other way around ( German married to American living in Vermont USA) and really appreciate all books about the clashes of culture :-). It makes me feel less weird to know, that I am not the only one with smaller and bigger problems in understanding the differences in daily life. Also I try to imagine how my better half :-) would make out if we would live in Germany instead of USA. I would definitely buy your book ( preferably for my kindle) or have it given to me as a present (paperback)

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  8. Yes, write your book – but concentrate on culture clashes, not on Denglish.

    I found her direct translations of German idioms into your language not as funny as you. Seen to many of those. There are books out there who cover that, already. English for Runaways – English für “Fortgeschrittene” … A German comedian (Otto) used that in his comedy routine:

    And no, I would not buy your book if it concentrated on your wife’s Denglish. Rather one that concentrated on culture clashes.

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  9. Publish, for sure. And change your survey! First, Ghostery blocks it as there seems to be some tracking beacon, but, alright, “allow once”. Next it asks me to allow Adobe Flash, and, no: That’s too much to ask. There MUST be survey systems without that crap. Or at least, I hope so.

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  10. W/r/t the digital version, bear in mind that (at least on regular Kindle), photos generally suck. I don’t have a Kindle Fire, so I don’t know how it handles photos. And maybe contact George Mahood. He wrote a few books similar to yours (e.g., humous, light little morsels) – “It’s a Free Country” is one of his books, where he starts out at one end of the UK in nothing but his underwear and intended to travel to the other end, depending on the generosity of strangers to supply what he needs. He publishes his books both digitally and hard copy and may have some advice for you. Contact him via his Facebook page. I could see you two guys being friends!

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  11. Can’t wait for you to embark on the self-publishing adventure. I could share some tips if you ever needed any. It’s a ton of work but also rewarding. I’m sure with your blog’s success you could also eventually find a publisher but I find it tiring to have to wait and to then have a ton of rules imposed on you, not the least of which is a much lower royalty than if you self-publish. Plus they’ll want you to do your own marketing anyway. So, self-publishing is the way to go, and if you do the Kindle/Createspace combo like I did, you have a lot of the market cornered already. You can then still think about other platforms through Smashwords or whatever, but initially Amazon is a good start. I can also highly recommend Catherine Ryan Howard’s Self-Printed as a great (and entertaining) self-publishing guide for exactly those two platforms I mentioned. Good luck!

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