Not only am I an American graphic designer, but I am also a professional writer, blogger and editor. Reading is my absolute favorite hobby, and when it comes to the English language, my tastes are both widespread and discerning. Therefore, you might reasonably assume I would refrain from all things linguistically crude or lowbrow, but you would be very wrong: I swear like a motherfucker.
Not only do I swear, but I use a remarkable amount of slang too: vulgar phrases, nonsensical jargon and stylistic idioms are all frequent aspects of my everyday speech. This might make me an amusing conversationalist for some, but it plays hell with my German wife’s ongoing education in the English language.
Let’s say I need to use the restroom for the specific purpose of evacuating my bowels. I won’t just saunter away quietly and do my business like a normal person. No, I will loudly announce my intentions to my wife in a manner which maximizes their vulgarity. For example, I might run down the staircase screaming, “Oh sweet Jesus, I gotta take a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit…” or “Outta the way, sweetheart; I’m about to blast hot lava all up in this bitch,” or “Mother of God, my puckering anus can no longer contain the vile spirits within!”
And then there are the old classic sayings, like “drop a deuce,” “lose some weight,” or “lay some pipe.” I like to use these every once in a while just to keep things classy. So the other week, I kept saying to my wife, “I gotta drop trow” — also spelled “trou” — which refers to the act of preparing to defecate by dropping one’s pants around the ankles. (Note: In America, we call them “pants,” but those dandies in the UK call them “trousers.”) Anyway, after hearing me use this expression enough times, it finally crept into my wife’s vocabulary, resulting in her emerging from the bathroom one day and proudly announcing:
“I dropped my trout!“
Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
Considering the pescatorial slang already in place referring to a lady’s undercarriage, this could get ugly.
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Well, a Swedish slang expression for the act in question translates as “to strangle an eel.”
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Haw haw! That’s so much better.
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I was just wondering, cause in german there is the metaphor for taking a shit, “Obama ins weiße Haus prügeln”, which kinda translates into “Slamming Obama into the White House”, does anyone say that in America?!
The Republicans might like the idea of comparing Obama to a piece of shit but still would probably never compare the White House to a Toilet, which any oh-so-patriotic American probably would not wanna do?! I’m guessing that’s a european saying? :)
Greetings from Celle i love this blog <3
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Yikes.
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Now this time even I had to laugh *I have to admit shamefully*
Maybe I liked the kind of toilet humour.
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This is too funny! I’m moving to Germany soon and I’m excited to have such language stories. haha!
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Awesome! You’ll love it here!
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did you know that laying pipes (or rohre verlegen) is german slang for sex?
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Haw haw haw! No, I did not. But now I’m going to say it every chance I get. :)
Thank you for the comment, Ich.
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LOL – that’s freakin’ awesome!
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Hilarious. Thanks for the giggle. ;-)
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Lol… Drop trou/trow can mean mooning too. Like the phrase “Let’s drop trou and run!” More or less it’s the sudden dropping of ones pants &/or underwear to ones ankles. It’s the manner in which the phrase is used that depends what the dropping of the pants is for. 🙃🙂😂
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