Learning German is hard. We all know that. But back when I was in my first German class in 2012, I remember learning a few basics about grammar and verb conjugation, and thinking to myself, “Hey, maybe I’m making some progress! Maybe I’ll actually learn this ugly bastard!”
Oh silly little American nerd — I had no idea what I was in for. German keeps getting more and more complex the deeper you go, and unless you’ve been doing a perfect job of memorizing those godforsaken gender-based articles along the way, you will make mistakes every single time you open your yap and try to speak it.
But my wife, God bless her, has been 110% supportive the entire time. Never a discouraging word. Always telling me how great I’m doing, how I’m learning so much, and how I will become fluent someday. She’s fantastic like that. She still has to correct me when I make big mistakes, however, which is why our conversation back in May of 2012 went like this: We had just come home from a trip to the beach and were unpacking our bags, when suddenly I had to go poop really bad. Like, Red Alert bad. So I dropped the bags, pointed my finger to the sky and proudly announced:
ME: “Ich gehe zu scheißen!” (“I’m going to shit!”)
…to which my wife replied…
THE WIFE: “Good job. That is right, but it is very rude.”
Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
Man, that’s some funny stuff, but that picture! Gah, it’s so hideously revolting, and yet I can’t stop looking at it…! Nicely done, sir! I hope the German winter hasn’t been too harsh on ya!
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I know, right? I found that picture on Creative Commons. It’s haunting.
The winter hasn’t bothered me at all, to be honest with you. I hear a lot more complaining about it from the Germans around me! How are you doing?
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Man, that’s some funny stuff, but that picture! Gah, it’s so hideously revolting, and yet I can’t stop looking at it…! Nicely done, sir! I hope the German winter hasn’t been too bad for ya!
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