Germans hate travel delays. Hate them. This is because they belong to a culture in which efficiency is prized above all other aspects of society. In Germany, efficiency is king; a cold, unfeeling despot sitting atop a mountain of dead alarm clocks high above the heads of lesser priorities, such as passion, hope or basic human enjoyment of life.
For a German, it’s all about getting from point A to point B, and anything holding up this process is to be regarded with weaponized contempt. Late flights, tardy buses and delayed subway trains drive them absolutely bugshit. And traffic jams? Oh God, traffic jams will rocket their emotional state all the way from Eerily Stoic to Nuclear Wrath.
On an important side note: In German, the letter ‘J’ is pronounced like the English letter ‘Y’ (e.g. ‘John’ becomes ‘Yohn,’ and ‘Jazz’ becomes ‘Yazz.’)
This is why, back in Portland, Oregon, as my wife was attempting to drive west on I-84 during rush hour, she sent me the following photograph and angry text message:
THE WIFE: “I am today in a very bad traffic yam!”
Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”
If you liked this post, please follow our blog by entering your email address in the upper right corner of this page. You’ll receive future posts directly in your inbox! No spam, ever! You can also follow us on Twitter and Facebook.
Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
I think she got that right. Because I cannot fathom what lovely, yummy jam has to do with sitting in your car in the rain with no hope of getting home anytime soon. Frohe Weihnachten for you and the wife.
LikeLike
I remember my confusion when a German penpal I had as a child wrote about the mysterious “Sowjets” in West Berlin. (“Soviets”, for those unfamiliar with German orthography!)
When I was stationed in Germany in the early 1970s, I recall reading in “Stars & Stripes” newspaper about a highway duel between two Germans. One was in a Porsche, the other in a top of the line Mercedes Benz.
One would speed up behind the other in the passing lane, flashed his 10 zillion candle powers worth of passing lights in the other guy’s rear view mirror, forcing him to move over so the flasher could speed ahead of him on the Autobahn. The guy forced to move over was in a known-to-be-faster car.
Then the guy flashed to move over (pissed that his car was presumed slower and unworthy of the speed lane when the flasher was in it) returned the favor to the flasher, making him move over so the guy he flashed could speed ahead of him on the Autobahn.
After several kilometers of this duel of egos, the first flasher stopped at a Parkplatz (to clear his underwear???!). The other guy noticed this and stopped behind him in the Parkplatz, got out of his car, and shot him dead!
As I recall, the shooter (the guy who was flashed first) was a millionaire, but I don’t think that had as much to do with his acquittal as the perfectly normal German sense of the rightness of shooting and killing a guy who didn’t show good lane discipline by irritating the fellow with the known-to-be-faster car! .
LikeLike