My German Wife Explains the Optimal Weather Conditions for Seasonal Allergy Attacks

Funny sneezing fit from seasonal pollen allergies
“It’s the middle of December. Why am I sneezing? This should not be haaAAHHHCHOOO!” — Photo by Adam Wise (http://www.flickr.com/photos/adammichaelwise/)

If you’ve been following this blog for some time, you know I’ve got some vicious pollen allergies. Allergy attacks and sneezing fits are to be expected in the spring months, especially when you are living in a foreign country like Germany, with its totally alien and unnaturally aggressive pollen spores. (I like to picture them as little dirndl-wearing, axe-wielding spike balls.)

What are not expected, are allergy attacks in the middle of winter. The rain and cold should keep the pollen count down, right? I mean, I don’t even have a cold right now, and yet I’m sneezing like I just snorted a fruit fly up my nose. (That totally happened to me once.) Maybe it’s the cold in the air. Maybe it’s the ankle-deep layer of dust beneath our bed, which gathered because I haven’t swept in months and I am a profoundly lazy man. I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s raining right now, I am sneezing and my German wife had this to day about it:

THE WIFE: “That is odd. Allergies usually happen when it is dry as a fart.”*

*My wife later informed me, “Yes, that word comes from Northern Germany. It is ‘furztrocken,’ meaning ‘fart-dry.’ “

Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”

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25 thoughts

  1. She is hilarious! Tell her I said so.

    >>> “Oh God, My Wife Is German.” 12/9/2013 12:01 PM >>>
    Oh God, My Wife Is German posted: ” If you’ve been following this blog for some time, you know I’ve got some vicious pollen allergies. Allergy attacks and sneezing fits are to be expected in the spring months, especially when you are living in a foreign country like Germany, with its to”

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  2. If it makes you feel any better, I’m having the same problem here in Texas. Though mine is a little less with the sneezing and more waking up in the middle of the night coughing. Stupid allergies.

    P.S., tell your wife she’s ridiculous and amazing. :-)

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  3. Ditto in Minnesota…allergies that is. Furnace heat, cat hair, bad housekeeping (moi), ill humor (moi again), create the perfect storm for furztrocke, and sneezy, snottiness. In fact I just wheezed goo on the computer screen. Can you see it? Actually, I best clean it up, but gesundheit to me ;).

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  4. Well, actually, in a way she’s right about the fact that dryness can cause sneezing because if you’re not drinking more fluids when it’s cold and dry, then you could be a tad dehydrated and your normal systems for getting irritants out of your body don’t work as well.

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  5. It took Captain Canada and I a while to adjust when we first moved here as well. The first year and a half I was constantly plagued by sinus infections. Hang in there and hopefully you’ll adjust. If not, then pray, see an allergist and try to get allergy shots. They worked great for my husband who had a severe ragweed allergy while living in Canada.

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