Back in early 2012, The Wife and I were watching a movie in our living room. I can’t remember now, but it was probably a chick flick like Sex and the City 2 or Eat Pray Love — something my wife forced me to add to my Netflix queue, forever sullying its masculine streak of pure, testicle-powered entertainment. (Wait, that sounded like gay porn, didn’t it.)
So, sometime during the second half of the movie, I stood up to get a glass of water from the kitchen, swatted my wife’s thigh and asked, “Would you like anything while I’m up?”
She replied calmly, without turning her gaze from the TV screen.
THE WIFE: “Please don’t slap my fat meat.”
Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”
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Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
Too funny!! She replied calmly…
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Strangely, eerily calmly…
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I don’t like it when my husband slaps my fat meat, either. It’s so wrong!
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Haw haw! But it’s funny!
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My husband too! It’s like they all have some sort of handbook.
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LOL How about “testosterone-powered” instead of “testicle-powered”? xD
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Awww, but then it wouldn’t sound nearly so porno… :)
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“slap my fat meat”…I would never dare to put that into a Google search. :)
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Me neither! (But please, do it for me. Then come back here and tell us what you’ve seen…)
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Alright, I took one for the team and did a search. The first result was from the urban dictionary and actually worse than I thought it would be. (now that you’re curious you know you’ve got to go look :) )
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Holy Joseph! I think I found that same Urban Dictionary result: “slapping the fat with my meat salami”
That sounds… romantic.
Ah, Urban Dictionary; always an oasis of high culture and class. :)
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Yep. Urban Dictionary: creating horrible sexual euphemisms since 1999.
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Haw haw
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Actually, your blog post was the 5th result. You’ll become famous for that phrase now. :)
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Oh fantastic. Luckily, I can always blame my little German wife.
“She said it first, Oprah! I swear!”
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But that’s the most satisfying meat to slap!
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Exactly! The very best kind!
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That picture alone was worth the price of admission, as they say! Great post!
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Thank you Hookster! Those two gents in the picture do appear mighty pleased with the situation…
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