Denglish 72: My German Wife Disapproves of My Baby Name Suggestions

My wife and I have in no way made up our minds about having kids. Some days it seems like a pleasant enough idea, and other days it seems like a singularly cruel torture reserved for fools and condom haters. And yet, inexplicably, we enjoy coming up with baby names just for fun.

I am partial to weird names, especially first names that sound like last names. Harrison. Buckley. Jagger. The weirder the better, because I believe a unique moniker is more likely to give rise to a unique individual. My wife, however, disagrees with me just as hard as her tiny German body will allow. She likes safe first names, but she doesn’t like them because they are safe; she likes them because she likes boring things. This was why, back in January of 2012, our discussion concerning baby names ended like this…

ME: “What do you think about the name ‘Donner’ as a boy’s name?”

THE WIFE: “Donner? Hmm, it sounds like ‘Donna,’ the girl’s name. I can’t hear the difference between ‘Donner’ and ‘Donna.’

ME: “That’s because your ears have an accent.”

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19 thoughts

  1. I am still partial to Bob Saget. No, you can’t just say Bob- It must be a complete Bob Saget every time! If you say it fast enough and smooshed together, it might sound German. :)

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  2. I can’t imagine why I’m laughing out loudly at the fact that your wife’s ears have an accent. Call your girl Dianera and the boy Joseph.
    Good enough for both languages – and you still can use all the languages you want on Joseph:
    German Josef – Italian Giuseppe (Beppo) – Spanish Jose – French same as English – Swiss Sepp
    Have fun… LOL

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