Pictures: Our Trip to Berlin, Germany, in the Summer of 2011
The Wife and I visited Berlin last summer and had an awesome time. I’m finally getting around to posting the pictures, so we thought we’d share them with you instead of doing a regular old post this week. We hope you dig ’em!
Click any of the pictures below to view the gallery.
Driving on the Autobahn on our way to Berlin. You can’t tell from this picture, but everyone is traveling at warp speed.
We popped out of the U-Bahn and landed in Potsdamer Platz. It’s kind of like Times Square in NYC, only not as scary.
Ahh, the iconic Berliner Dom. I think it looks like a great big titty.
The Berliner Kindl Bistro Am Gendarmenmarkt. The sign depicts a young German child drowning in a beer stein. Isn’t that adorable?
A Berliner Pilsner. Pretty much the only thing Americans picture when it comes to Germany — and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.
The Brandenburger Tor. Tourists are required to take pictures in front of this thing or they will be shot.
Again with the Brandenburger Tor, only this picture includes Germans dressed up like statues. Or something.
This is the Oberbaumbrücke. We crossed this bridge and landed directly in some kind of anarchist/punk festival, which scared the merry hell out of us.
I can’t remember the name of this church. And seriously, nobody cares.
The Statue of Victoria. And yes, I am looking straight up her skirt.
Some construction work being done outside the apartment we rented. These Germans build like termites.
The Denkmal für die ermordeten Juden Europas, which translates violently to “The Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe.” It’s kind of weird to see kids darting around between the columns, laughing and having an awesome time.
The Deutscher Dom. Looks kinda like a dong.
Close-up of the Berlin Wall. That’s chewing gum stuck everywhere. My wife would not let me lick it.
Die Puppenstube. God I could go for a beer right now.
Here’s the Berliner Dom again. Watching us. Judging.
This is called Downtown Berlin, because I can’t remember the name of this particular area.
That’s the Fernsehturm, or “TV Tower.” I think it’s a blatant ripoff of the Space Needle in Seattle. For SHAME, Berlin.
That’s the Französischer Dom, because the French have to stick their giant noses in everything.
Another shot of the Französischer Dom, or “French Cathedral.” I call it “The French Tickler.”
Night shot of the Gedächtniskirche. Why do all these churches look like gigantic rock dongs?
The ceiling of the Gedächtniskirche. You know the Gedächtniskirche because it’s “that one church that was bombed all to hell during the war.”
The Gendarmenmarkt. It sits right between the German dong church and the French dong church… like the holiest ménage à trois of all time.
Again with the The Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe. Anybody bring a bottle of wine? Clearly this scene inspires a picnic.
Here’s a model of the Gedächtniskirche. “What is this? A church for ants?”
A segment of the Berlin Wall, vastly improved by spray paint.
Another shot of the Denkmal für die ermordeten Juden Europas. Can you imagine jumping from slab to slab and missing? You could really bark your shin.
The Oberbaumbrücke again. This bridge was covered with hippies, punks and other unsavory types.
The Otto Bock building. Looks like a giant Wolverine took a swipe at it with his Adamantium claws.
Still another picture of Potsdamer Platz. Sorry.
Here we are again at Potsdamer Platz, and me without a beer.
Potsdamer Platz again. Drink it in, America.
The Reichstagsgebäude. I’m sure some very riveting parliament meetings were held here.
Some restaurants in the city. No idea why I took this picture.
The Spree, Berlin’s big river. Nothing at all made me want to go for a swim in it.
Another sculpture downtown. Why did I take these?
A very stuffy looking sculpture somewhere downtown.
The Siegessäule, or “Victory Column.” I call it the “Winner’s Shaft.”
Spiral stairs inside the Siegessäule. Looks like a nautilus when you’re hammered.
The Fernsehturm or “TV Tower.” You could really poke someone’s eye out with this thing.
An U-Bahn stop at Spittelmarkt. Spittelmarkt sounds like a place to buy used saliva.
The Spree River at night. Best viewed through a heavy set of beer goggles.
This is the Soviet Memorial in the Tiergarten. I didn’t really care about this because I had blisters on my feet from my wife forcing me to walk the entire length of the park.
The Fernsehturm. Get used to pictures like this, my friends.
The Fernsehturm, or “TV Tower” in Berlin.
The view from the Siegessäule, or “Victory Column.” It was so packed with tourists I couldn’t turn around and I almost dropped my camera over the edge.
The view from the Siegessäule, looking at the TV Tower. Are you tired of these pictures yet, Dear Reader?
Chunks of the Berliner Mauer. Can you imagine if that one piece fell down on that dude’s head?
This guy was stamping people’s passports with every stamp you would have needed to pass through the Berlin Wall before it was closed off. He has the world’s most boring job, and the world’s most interesting job, simultaneously.
A section of Die Berliner Mauer, or Berlin Wall. So colorful. So depressing.
This is the Denkmal für die ermordeten Juden Europas, or “The Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe.” Seriously. That’s what it’s called.
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Amazing pictures! You just made me crave Germany even more! Although I do think you could make a rather (and it can go either way) handsome or bleak living as a German tour guide! I would ride your bus!
First, I can’t BELIEVE you came to Berlin and didn’t even CALL the oldamericanladyinberlin! Second, the ‘downtown’ place was most likely Mitte. Third, I can’t BELIEVE that you don’t have a photo of the Kreuzberg in Viktoria Park (but if you had, since that’s only 2 blocks from our flat, I would have been TWICE as mad that you didn’t call)!!
Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
Amazing pictures! You just made me crave Germany even more! Although I do think you could make a rather (and it can go either way) handsome or bleak living as a German tour guide! I would ride your bus!
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Thank you for the kind words! I’m sure I would slur my way through every sightseeing destination. :)
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First, I can’t BELIEVE you came to Berlin and didn’t even CALL the oldamericanladyinberlin! Second, the ‘downtown’ place was most likely Mitte. Third, I can’t BELIEVE that you don’t have a photo of the Kreuzberg in Viktoria Park (but if you had, since that’s only 2 blocks from our flat, I would have been TWICE as mad that you didn’t call)!!
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Haw haw! That’s hilarious. I’m sorry we didn’t call, but I’m pretty sure we hadn’t even started this blog at the time.
Next time! And definitely we’ll see the Kreuzberg in Viktoriapark. It looks amazing!
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