A while back, my German wife purchased some cheap-ass insoles from Mäc-Geiz. (Mäc-Geiz is kind of like a dollar store here in Germany, or a variety store, if you want to make it sound a little less awful.) She wanted to put the insoles in her shoes so they would be more comfortable, and she bought an extra pair for me too. I thought this was nice, and I totally intended to try them out, but these insoles were huge — the kind you have to cut down to size with scissors before they’ll fit into your shoes. I could never quite muster the energy to do this, so the insoles sat in my office for the next several months. Finally, after my wife had blown through her own dollar store insoles, she asked for my pair back. I handed them to her and asked if she would be cutting them down to size. She looked at me like I was the dumbest motherfucker on the planet and said:
“Of course. How big do you think my feet are?
Like I’m wearing kids coffins?”*
*From the slang German expression, “Deine Schuhe sind so groß – voll wie Kindersärge,” which translates literally (and horrifyingly) to “Your shoes are so big – totally like children’s coffins.”
Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
Hi there,
Maybe some of your other subscribers have already told you this, but there is something wrong once I move from the email over to the site. The screen pulses….fast. The entire screen flashes backward and forward rapidly making it very difficult to read without getting nauseated. It’s been like that for the last two or three of your posts. I thought that maybe I touched one of the ads, but even after carefully navigating the screen it doesn’t stop.
Thought you ought to know.
>
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Thank you for the heads up, bitburggal. I haven’t heard of this problem before.
Would you mind telling me which internet browser you’re using to view the actual blog itself?
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Hi, just now saw that you replied after getting your newest post. Ok, so here is what I noticed…it only happens on my iPad. All is well when I open your email via iPhone or my Apple laptop. My default browser is Safari.
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Mäc-Geiz. I’d translate this as McCheapo’s, which is a great name for a dollar store.
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Not the feet are like children’s coffins but the shoes.
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I’m a German and I’ve never heard of that expression. Nice to learn something new :). Just now I’m thinking of whom to tell that he/she has Quadratlatschen like Kindersärge -höhöhö- :D.
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That expression is as off-putting as that British dessert – called “Drowned Baby.”
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I always refer to Mäc-Geiz as MacGyver. Who knows what 1€ stuff will get you out of seemingly impossible situations?
To go on the same thread as Jaton’ West, you can order up a Tote Oma (dead grandmother): http://www.chefkoch.de/rezepte/790011182339242/Tote-Oma-Thueringer-Art.html
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Well if that horrifies you…
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I sent this link to my German husband with the comment, “IS THIS A F***ING THING?” His response: “That you have to cut them?”
Yes, having to trim insoles is the horrifying part of this story…
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Haw haw haw! I love it.
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I sent this link to my German husband with the comment, “IS THIS A F***ING THING?” His response: “That you have to cut them?”
Yes, having to trim insoles is the horrifying part of this story…
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