My wife and I have in no way made up our minds about having kids. Some days it seems like a pleasant enough idea, and other days it seems like a singularly cruel torture reserved for fools and condom haters. And yet, inexplicably, we enjoy coming up with baby names just for fun.
I am partial to weird names, especially first names that sound like last names. Harrison. Buckley. Jagger. The weirder the better, because I believe a unique moniker is more likely to give rise to a unique individual. My wife, however, disagrees with me just as hard as her tiny German body will allow. She likes safe first names, but she doesn’t like them because they are safe; she likes them because she likes boring things. This was why, back in January of 2012, our discussion concerning baby names ended like this…
ME: “What do you think about the name ‘Donner’ as a boy’s name?”
THE WIFE: “Donner? Hmm, it sounds like ‘Donna,’ the girl’s name. I can’t hear the difference between ‘Donner’ and ‘Donna.’
ME: “That’s because your ears have an accent.”
Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”
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Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
Ah, yes! The invisible German ‘r’!! If you named the baby “Donner” would his middle name be “Kebap” or maybe “Party”? I can tell you one thing about finding a name for a baby — it can push you to the edge of divorce (which may be why my husband and I only had one kid — fearing that naming a second would be the last straw). You’ll also get lots of help from relatives, such as grandmas-in-waiting who want you to name YOUR baby girl after THEIR mommas, when, in fact, THEY had girls themselves and DID NOT name them after their own mommas (because those names were AWFUL!!). If they thought the names were so great, why didn’t THEY use them?
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Oh man, we must never, ever allow the grandparents to help choose names. They’re only in it for the legacy. :)
Great reply Jaton! :)
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Re: that “r.” Here in New England (and also in large parts of Olde England), the “r” gets taken out of places where it’s written and put into places where it isn’t. So yeah–you probably want to watch that one. The other name ideas are good ones, though.
I have to wonder with a line like this, however:
“The weirder the better, because I believe a unique moniker is more likely to give rise to a unique individual.”
if you didn’t just listen to a little too much Johnny Cash as a child.
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I don’t want to give him a girl’s name! Jeez! We will have no boys named Sue. :)
Thank you for the tip though. My wife appreciated it. :)
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Hey. We Germanic women need to stick together.
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You can’t go wrong with Wilhelm. Boring enough for Germans, but really cool to Americans.
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Haw haw! I am totally passing that along!
Of course, that name is sure to bring an ass-whoopin’ in school no matter the country. :)
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You don’t think little Donna is gonna get his ass beat?
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Oh absolutely. But it will only make him stronger.
:)
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