In case you don’t already know, The Wife and I love to camp — and we love to camp hard.
A few weeks ago, we went camping at Timothy Lake near Mt. Hood, where our friend Dinghy McBrokenboat picked us up at the ramp in his ancient fishing vessel. Keeping with tradition, it took 20 minutes for the motor to start up for the return trip, so we drifted around on the water with enough time for him to inform us there was a “surprise” waiting for us at camp. Dinghy is a sarcastic wretch, so I assumed this surprise was both unwelcome and uncalled-for.
The boat managed to deliver us to our camp on the other side of the lake running on nothing but unleaded miracles. It was then our surprise revealed itself — a large group of strangers setting up their own camp right next to ours. These campwads were practically on top of us. They were practically whispering ghost stories into our ears. They were practically making love to us with s’more covered genitals.
But why? I asked myself. Timothy Lake is lousy with camp sites! Oh how I hated these campers, and worst of all, they had teenagers with them… teenagers. *shudder*
Our other friend, The Dying Gaul, went over and gave them fair warning: “We are a large group of adults and we aim to drink; you may want to consider the impression we leave upon your impressionables.”*
No dice — the Children of the Corn were staying.
*No exaggeration. This is a direct quote.
Click here to read The Camping Chronicles: Timothy Lake, Part II
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Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
This is great. I laughed through the entire passage. I camp hard too, and can only imagine this scenario playing out. Great post. Keep it up!
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The teens couldn’t be that bad! As long as they have even the slightest phone signal, they won’t whine. (Usually.)
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It must me the day for camping posts – thanks for stopping by to read mine :)
Too bad they crashed your campsite. Isn’t the idea to get away from people? I don’t know which is worse – camping with (or near) elementary school-age children or teenagers…I’ll let you know in four years…
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Really funny stuff, although I, for one, detest camping. I have noticed though that Germans (or German wives) are way often way into it, too, for some strange reason. Weiter so!
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Love that, I look forward to Part 2!
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The angrier and more gonzo you get, the better. May there be hordes of teenagers in your future.
And also, you remind me of this dude, also married to a German who somehow hasn’t yet launched a counter-blog. When your wife finally cracks, I’m going to need that link.
http://www.mil-millington.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/mailing_listers/jso_MLM_53_4j7s.htm
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That’s awesome Jen! Thank you for passing it along!
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Subscribed. I think I will enjoy this blog!
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your stuff is really interesting and I enjoy the excitement and emotion behind each word.
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Seriously, are you my husband?!
I have read through your posts and God almighty, I almost got up and smacked my husband. My Dad is German, I make oodles of lists, I am going to school for Web design ( ya, so you stretched the truth on that one), and live in the northwest. : ) The only difference is we don’t drink, however, your trip to Timothy Lake plays out like most of our trips. I totally enjoyed your posts!
Sweet Mercy…Enjoy LIfe!
Auntie RV
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Look forward to part II. We just hate it when you get stuck next to bad campers.
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