Funny (and Bizarre) Google Search Engine Terms Used to Find Our Blog – Part I

“Delete. History. NOW.” — Image Credit: Libelul ( Subject to CC 2.0 License.

Until recently, I assumed people came to our blog for a quick laugh. Maybe to read one of my wife’s Denglish quotes, or perhaps to read about the culture shock I’ve experienced as an American expat in Germany. What I did not expect, however, was the sheer number of people who’ve accidentally stumbled across our blog due to misdirected Google searches. (And oh holy Christ, the Internet really is fueled by porn, isn’t it…)

For this post, I’ve taken screenshots of the latest search terms used to land people on our site and highlighted my favorites in yellow. Please click the first thumbnail image below to start the slideshow. (WARNING: Many contain sexually explicit or otherwise hilarious terminology):

… and of course, way down at the bottom, is my favorite search term of all time:



I have to give it to our accidental blog visitors; they do find creative ways to find us. There’s at least one every day who makes me laugh, and for that, I must award these Google search engine terms with a strong 4 out of 5 Merkel Diamonds:

Merkel Diamond from Angela Merkel, Prime Minister of Germany

What about you? Which search terms put a naughty little smile on your face? The comments section is open as hell.

32 thoughts

  1. “Black Forrest prostitution”?!? What the holy hell?? (And I can’t decide if I’m more disturbed about the search itself or the lack of ability to spell “forest”).


  2. “Red devil squirrel” doesn’t get a highlight?

    My favourite from my site is “was there ever a song written about a purpose in life metaphorically comparing to a caterpillar or butterfly?”.


  3. For me, the weirdest search term was “asianshot” and I don’t even know if that’s supposed to be one word, or if it’s missing a space (nor where the space would go). And I’ve never even been to Asia, let alone written about it.


  5. Hilarious! I was all set to give you a list of mine but can no longer find them in Google Analytics – did they take that away from us? Blogger gives me some, but they are cut off right where it could become interesting, as in “at what age can a south african per…”. What? perform what???


  6. Hilarious stuff but what’s with the marriage proposals and wife searching. Your searches sound like some sort of wedding agency LOL! I tend to get a lot of stuff connected to Germany of course, and Poland. The majority are trying to find the solution to “how boring” both countries are and from time to time, a seach for a sex-show LOL!


  7. “Ugly kid with tooth in middle” and “I want a german wife how do i get her” are my personal favorites. I for some reason only attract moms or people who like to blog a lot about the return of Satan. I GUESS WE ALL HAVE OUR NICHE.


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