So, moving into a new apartment is always a monumental pain in the ass, especially when you’re moving from America to Germany literally weeks after getting married. It also doesn’t help when you know nothing about furniture, kitchen appliances or any of the bathing accessories women can’t seem to live without. (Loofahs? Poufs? Bath Sponges? These all sound like playful forms of birth control which might come to life and start singing around some lovesick princess in a Disney movie: “Why say ‘maybe’ to that baby gravy? Wash your womb and add perfume; no one wants a baby!”)
Fortunately, my wife knows all about bath products and how to store them in an orderly fashion. So back in August of 2012, just before we moved, she informed me we would need to hang some kind of apparatus in our shower stall to hold all of our toiletries:
THE WIFE: “We don’t want to drill holes in the tile, so we will get a basket with vacuum sponges.”*
*I believe she meant a “shower caddy” with “suction cups.”
Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
A basket with vacuum sponges sounds perfectly reasonable to me – at least certainly better than drilling holes in the tile. Holes in the tile would be just plain ick. You just don’t do it. :)
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Word to the wise. You know how they say the man is the “King of the Castle”. Well, that includes paying for the castle and fixing the castle only. Everything inside of it belongs to the queen. I’ve given up years ago and I’m better off for it honestly.
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