Denglish 51: My Wife’s Horrible German Guacamole Dip

My wife loves to make guacamole dip, but she always adds an obscene amount of minced garlic to it, for some godforsaken reason. The garlic is so intense it induces acid-reflux in both of us, resulting in the most heinous burps you’ll ever encounter. (I know this because my wife is a disgusting burp aficionado). So after finishing our last batch of guacamole, my wife finally agreed to modify her recipe.

THE WIFE: “We will use less garlic in the guacamole next time, and then we check our burps again.”



15 thoughts

  1. You’re not supposed to use fresh garlic, just a pinch or two of garlic salt! No wonder it gives you the burps…If your German wife wants garlic-flavored dip, try broiling whole garlic cloves in the oven, then peeling and mushing them in a bowl with olive oil. The heat caramelizes the garlic, which takes away a lot of the bitterness. Cheers!


  2. I sort of enjoy freaking out my neighborhood German with a German recipe that only East Germans have really heard of, which itself can be made to be quite hot in addition to being traditionally picant:

    Take any of the above, and add a pinchie-poo of cayanne peppa whist the soup is a-soupin’. Enjoyen-sie, bitte. It’s even more fun when you point your fingers at them, machine gun style and say “rat-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-tat!”


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