https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/12/05/german-expressions-that-was-my-disgusting-idea/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/burp-belch-loud-beer-germany.jpgburp-belch-loud-beer-germany(Image Credit: Ben Sutherland [https://www.flickr.com/photos/bensutherland/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2024-01-23T09:43:08+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/09/12/til-schweiger-my-nonsexual-but-still-gay-as-hell-man-crush-from-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/schweiger_til.jpgschweiger_tilhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/81pp3y-mnwl._ac_uy436_ql65_.jpg81pp3y-mnwl._ac_uy436_ql65_https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/91cvn3fey2l._ac_uy436_ql65_.jpg91cvn3fey2l._ac_uy436_ql65_https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/81htfjdg11l._ac_uy436_ql65_.jpg81htfjdg11l._ac_uy436_ql65_https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/81l4tollkjl._ac_uy436_fmwebp_ql65_.webp81l4tollkjl._ac_uy436_fmwebp_ql65_https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/71megjzgwol._ac_uy436_fmwebp_ql65_.webp71megjzgwol._ac_uy436_fmwebp_ql65_https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/til-schweiger-headshot.jpgtil-schweiger-headshotImage Source: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001709/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/til-schweiger-vhv-commercial-gif.giftil-schweiger-vhv-commercial-gifhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/slc-punk-mark-this-one-doesnt-have-waves.gifslc-punk-mark-this-one-doesnt-have-wavesImage Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQCQGzkwzn0https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/slc-punk-mark-laserdisc.pngslc-punk-mark-laserdiscImage Source: https://cinema1544.wordpress.com/cinema-1544/slc-punk/2023-12-22T12:44:53+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/02/22/just-kill-me-now-a-brief-overview-of-jobs-taxes-and-health-insurance-for-expats-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/sexy-zombie-nurses-tornoto.jpgsexy-zombie-nurses-tornoto"We're here to remove your catheter." -- Image Credit: Peter Kudlacz (https://www.flickr.com/photos/peter-kudlacz/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/funny-homeless-man-sign.jpgfunny-homeless-man-sign-- Image Credit: Morgan (https://www.flickr.com/photos/meddygarnet/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/funny-angry-screaming-man-tourist-ball-cap.jpgfunny-angry-screaming-man-tourist-ball-cap-- Image Credit: bark (https://www.flickr.com/photos/barkbud/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/funny-brandenburg-gate-american-tourist.jpgfunny-brandenburg-gate-american-tourist"I'm HERE, Germany! You're welcome." -- Image Credit: Kevin Rhodes (https://www.flickr.com/photos/iamkevinrhodes/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. 2022-01-19T18:36:00+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/contact/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/oh-god-my-wife-is-german-symbol-1f1-lg.jpgOh-God-My-Wife-Is-German-Symbol-1F1 LGhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/oh-god-my-wife-is-german-logo-no-text1.jpgOh-God-My-Wife-Is-German-Logo-No-Texthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/german-couple-oktoberfest-prost-lederhosen-drndl.jpggerman-couple-oktoberfest-prost-lederhosen-drndlSend us an email and we'll say 'prost!' in your honor! -- Photo by JasonParis -- Subject to copyright -- https://www.flickr.com/photos/jasonparis/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/lederhosen-und-dirndl-funny-german-souvenirs1.jpglederhosen-und-dirndl-funny-german-souvenirs“Just sittin’ here waitin’ fer ya! Herp-a-derp-derp!” — Image courtesy of leo gonzales (http://www.flickr.com/photos/leoglenn_g/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/oh-god-my-wife-is-german-email-image.gifoh-god-my-wife-is-german-email-image2021-11-22T18:27:04+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/advertising/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/2017-04-oh-god-my-wife-is-german-website-views-and-visitors-by-month.jpg2017-04-Oh-God-My-Wife-Is-German-Website-Views-and-Visitors-by-MonthHere are my web stats by month for visitors and page views over the last couple years. If these figures mean something to you, great. If not, great. I gotta get back to blogging now.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/german-advertising-retro-old-timey-cologne-cats.jpggerman-advertising-retro-old-timey-cologne-cats-- Image Credit: Boston Public Library (https://www.flickr.com/photos/boston_public_library/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/cool-german-ads-retro-western-old-timey-advertising.jpgcool-german-ads-retro-western-old-timey-advertisingSelling out, just as hard as we can! -- Image courtesy of Wrote (http://www.flickr.com/photos/wrote/)2021-11-22T18:25:16+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/about/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/kirby-merkin-hive-mind.jpgKirby-Merkin - Hive Mindhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/yetis-balls-masala.jpgYeti's Balls Masalahttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/kirby-merkin-bread.jpgKirby Merkin - Breadhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/kirby-and-yeti-headlamp.jpegKirby and Yeti - Headlamphttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/kirby-and-yeti-couch.jpegKirby and Yeti - Couchhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/kirby-and-yeti-beer.jpegKirby and Yeti - Beerhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/oh-god-my-wife-is-german-author-profile-picture.jpgoh-god-my-wife-is-german-author-profile-pictureWe are of the German Panty Hive Mind. We are legion.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/funny-couple-arguing-fighting-germany.jpgfunny-couple-arguing-fighting-germanyImage Credit: Peter Pham (https://www.flickr.com/photos/136807076@N07/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. 2024-02-27T16:26:55+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/the-book/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/patreon-logo-16x9-oh-god-my-wife-is-german-expat-blog.pngPatreon-logo-16x9-Oh-God-My-Wife-Is-German-Expat-Blog2021-11-22T18:15:55+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/impressum/2021-11-22T18:14:16+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2021/11/22/time-capsule-a-letter-from-2016/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/odot-time-capsule-2016-2012.jpgodot-time-capsule-2016-2012"Hey future! What's up?" -- (Image Credit: Oregon Department of Transportation [https://www.flickr.com/photos/oregondot/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2022-01-05T18:51:04+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/06/17/culture-shock-13-american-expat-receives-terrifying-haircut-at-turkish-hairdresser-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/turkish-hair-salon-hairdresser-in-germany.jpgturkish-hair-salon-hairdresser-in-germany"Welcome to Turktown, my friend." -- Photo by Will Flavell (http://www.flickr.com/photos/swept14/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/big-hair-funny-man-geek-german-nerd.jpgbig-hair-funny-man-geek-german-nerd"Heeeey Joe, where you goin' with that note from your wife of your hand?" -- Photo by Todd Ordes (http://www.flickr.com/photos/toddomanbot/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/straight-razor-shave-barber-old-school-retro-germany.jpgstraight-razor-shave-barber-old-school-retro-germany"Sir? Sir... Is this absolutely necessary?" -- Photo by Chris Michaels (http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrisamichaels/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/george-bush-monkey-funny-constitution.jpggeorge-bush-monkey-funny-constitution"Choose wisely. Your life depends upon it." -- Image by DonkeyHotey (http://www.flickr.com/photos/donkeyhotey/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/funny-man-running-in-germany.jpgfunny-man-running-in-germany"Thankyouseeyoulaterhaveaniceday!" -- Photo by FaceMePLS (http://www.flickr.com/photos/faceme/)2020-06-21T14:12:09+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/09/28/5-reasons-why-you-should-totally-have-sex-with-a-german-dude/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/sexy-german-man-hand-down-pants-suggestive-edited.jpgsexy-german-man-hand-down-pants-suggestive-EDITED"I share this gift with you... reluctantly." -- (Image Credit: sunshinecity [https://www.flickr.com/photos/sunshinecity/] German flag colors added. Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/sexy-german-man-hand-down-pants-suggestive.jpgsexy-german-man-hand-down-pants-suggestiveImage Credit: sunshinecity (https://www.flickr.com/photos/sunshinecity/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/german-male-model-shirtless-man-funny.jpggerman-male-model-shirtless-man-funnyImage Credit: Hotlanta Voyeur (https://www.flickr.com/photos/hotlantavoyeur/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. Lightly photoshopped.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/brain-machine-smart-german-nerd-male.jpgbrain-machine-smart-german-nerd-male -- Image Credit: Johan Bichel Lindegaard (https://www.flickr.com/photos/accidentdesigns/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. Adjusted for contrast.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/nerd-male-wearing-glasses-innocent-humble.jpgnerd-male-wearing-glasses-innocent-humble"You're so money and you don't even know it." -- Photo Credit: Daniel Zedda (https://www.flickr.com/photos/astragony/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/german-man-licking-armpit.jpggerman-man-licking-armpitOn an unrelated note, this picture makes me laugh every time I see it. -- Photo Credit: Jens karlsson (https://www.flickr.com/photos/chapter3/) Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/uncut-uncircumcised-penis-bratwurst-sausage.jpguncut-uncircumcised-penis-bratwurst-sausageImage Credit: barockschloss (https://www.flickr.com/photos/barockschloss/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License2025-01-24T03:37:17+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/05/14/denglish-59-are-all-german-women-freakishly-strong/2019-04-20T10:32:29+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/03/05/denglish-51-my-wifes-horrible-german-guacamole-dip/2019-04-19T14:39:36+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/guests/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/funny-germany-butt-crack-tshirt-plumbers-crack.jpgfunny-germany-butt-crack-tshirt-plumbers-crackImage Credit: Mark Holloway (https://www.flickr.com/photos/137837832@N07/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/12-biergarten-maschsee-hannover-germany.jpg12-biergarten-Maschsee-hannover-germanyJoin us for a cold one! (Or a warm one... whatever you're into.)2018-04-10T14:21:58+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/guests/what-the-fuck-america-by-andreas/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/cropped-mir-platzt-der-sack-header-img.jpgcropped-mir-platzt-der-sack-header-imghttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/old-american-door-knob-with-key.jpgOld American Door Knob with Key(Image Credit: "White Knob," by Bob M ~ [https://www.flickr.com/photos/12463666@N03/14616606977/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/imperial-measurement-system-usa-inches-vs-cm-mm-408971482_c87bc0325f_z.jpgImperial-Measurement-System-USA-Inches-vs-CM-MM-408971482_c87bc0325f_z(Image Credit: "Ruler - INCOMPETENT MANUFACTURERS," by Biking Nikon Maui [https://www.flickr.com/photos/iliahi/408971482/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/house-of-cards-frank-and-doug-electoral-college-usa-35354464595_dbb097f623_z.jpgHouse-of-Cards-Frank-and-Doug-Electoral-College-USA-35354464595_dbb097f623_z(Image Credit: "Frank and Doug -- Electoral College Calculations," by Ron Cogswell [https://www.flickr.com/photos/22711505@N05/35354464595/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/guns-and-ammo-plus-usa-31152445886_f0de6efe6f_z.jpgGuns-and-Ammo-Plus-USA-31152445886_f0de6efe6f_z(Image Credit: "USA AMMO PLUS," by Bob Dass [https://www.flickr.com/photos/54144402@N03/31152445886/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/el-paso-booty-sign-prostitution-usa-5838269918_78e04449f2_z.jpgEl-Paso-Booty-Sign-Prostitution-USA-5838269918_78e04449f2_z(Image Credit: "#102 | Signage," by Terry Presley [https://www.flickr.com/photos/36979785@N06/5838269918/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/drinking-while-driving-dui-usa-55197440_ec3b1671cf_z.jpgDrinking-while-Driving-DUI-USA-55197440_ec3b1671cf_z(Image Credit: "Drinking and driving," by Ben Stephenson [https://www.flickr.com/photos/benstephenson/55197440/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/christianity-in-america-jesus-usa-sign-flag-6051417461_5c0d9b4fe8_z.jpgChristianity-in-America-Jesus-USA-Sign-Flag-6051417461_5c0d9b4fe8_z(Image Credit: "Jesus," by Timothy Krause [https://www.flickr.com/photos/timothykrause/6051417461/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/captain-america-action-figure-funny-usa-7354790066_9523d20737_z.jpgCaptain-America-Action-Figure-Funny-USA-7354790066_9523d20737_z(Image Credit: "Do Not Wash In Hot Water," by JD Hancock [https://www.flickr.com/photos/jdhancock/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/american-teenagers-underage-drinking-usa-8212859394_718229758a_z.jpgAmerican-Teenagers-Underage-Drinking-USA-8212859394_718229758a_z(Image Credit: "Jaryd's," by Winnie Liu [https://www.flickr.com/photos/wliuuu/8212859394/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2018-03-16T16:22:14+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/08/14/5-reasons-why-you-should-totally-have-sex-with-a-german-chick/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/sexy-german-woman-panties-edited.jpgsexy-german-woman-panties-EDITED"I sense some hilarious porn about to unfold...." -- (Image Credit: The Hidden Collection [https://www.flickr.com/photos/thehiddencollection/] German flag colors added. Subject to CC 2.0 license.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/sexy-german-woman-panties.jpgsexy-german-woman-panties"I sense some hilarious porn about to unfold...." -- (Image Credit: The Hidden Collection [https://www.flickr.com/photos/thehiddencollection/] Subject to CC 2.0 license.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/german-bride-smiling-with-yellow-teeth.jpggerman-bride-smiling-with-yellow-teeth"To have and to-HOLY CHRIST." -- (Image Credit: 'Cute,' [Modified from original: I totally added the yellow teeth. This woman's teeth are beautiful.] by brianna.lehman [https://www.flickr.com/photos/briannalehman/] Subject to CC 2.0 license.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/german-woman-flirting-chess-e1502711039859.jpggerman-woman-flirting-chess"Please don't choke on that." -- (Image Credit: 'It's good to be the king,' by Walt Stoneburner [https://www.flickr.com/photos/waltstoneburner/] Subject to CC 2.0 license. )https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/german-woman-in-bed.jpggerman-woman-in-bed"I sense some classy porn about to unfold...." -- (Image Credit: Webcam by Marina Spektr [https://www.flickr.com/photos/154655365@N07/] Subject to CC 2.0 license.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/persephone-wedding-veil-tiara-german-woman.jpgPersephone-Wedding-Veil-tiara-german-woman"Let them eat schnitzel." -- (Image Credit: Persephone-Wedding Veil by Faylyne [https://www.flickr.com/photos/bellafaye8/] Subject to CC 2.0 license.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/tiara-german-woman-beautiful.jpgtiara-german-woman-beautiful-- (Image Credit: Persephone-Wedding Veil by Faylyne [])https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/sexy-librarian-german-girl.jpgsexy-librarian-german-girl"It's like she can see right into my soul." -- (Image Credit: The Sexy Librarian Look, by Cameron Russell [https://www.flickr.com/photos/camkage/] Subject to CC 2.0 license.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/sexy-german-woman3.jpgsexy-german-woman3"I sense some classy porn about to unfold...." -- (Image Credit: Sexy sex [Modified from original] by Marina Spektr [https://www.flickr.com/photos/154655365@N07/] Subject to CC 2.0 license.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/beautiful-sexy-german-woman-wife.jpgbeautiful-sexy-german-woman-wife"Never underestimate the beauty of the Teutons." -- (Image Credit: 'Woman girl 18+' by Marina Spektr [https://www.flickr.com/photos/154655365@N07/] Subject to CC 2.0 license.)2025-02-08T08:16:24+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/05/22/american-idiot-gets-his-ass-kicked-by-stinging-nettle-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/stinging-nettle-rash-07.jpgstinging-nettle-rash-0730 minutes after contact. Pain level on a scale of 1 to 10: 1https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/stinging-nettle-rash-06.jpgstinging-nettle-rash-0620 minutes after contact. Pain level on a scale of 1 to 10: 2https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/stinging-nettle-rash-05.jpgstinging-nettle-rash-0510 minutes after contact. Pain level on a scale of 1 to 10: 5https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/stinging-nettle-rash-04.jpgstinging-nettle-rash-045 minutes after contact. Pain level on a scale of 1 to 10: 7https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/stinging-nettle-rash-03.jpgstinging-nettle-rash-033 minutes after contact. Pain level on a scale of 1 to 10: 9https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/stinging-nettle-rash-02.jpgstinging-nettle-rash-021 minute after contact. Pain level on a scale of 1 to 10: 11https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/stinging-nettle-rash-01.jpgstinging-nettle-rash-01Mere seconds after contact. Pain level on a scale of 1 to 10: 10https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/german-die-brennnessel-stinging-nettle-in-germany.jpggerman-die-Brennnessel-stinging-nettle-in-germanyGerman Word of the Day: "die Brennnessel"2021-03-24T16:04:47+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/10/13/bachelor-week-american-man-in-germany-left-to-his-own-devices-for-7-days/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/vietnamese-food-bowl-with-sriracha-hot-sauce.jpgvietnamese-food-bowl-with-sriracha-hot-saucehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/scrambling-eggs-with-pork-fat-hot-stuff-spatula.jpgscrambling-eggs-with-pork-fat-hot-stuff-spatulahttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/polish-beer-debowe-mocne-and-zubr.jpgpolish-beer-debowe-mocne-and-zubrhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/onion-goggles-tear-free.jpgonion-goggles-tear-freehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/making-chili-in-germany-home-made.jpgmaking-chili-in-germany-home-madehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/hot-sauce-tapatio-and-sriracha-empty.jpghot-sauce-tapatio-and-sriracha-emptyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/hot-sauce-sriracha-and-tapatio-bottles.jpghot-sauce-sriracha-and-tapatio-bottleshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/german-beer-grafenwalder-mini-keg-pils-fass.jpggerman-beer-grafenwalder-mini-keg-pils-fasshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/d-l-jardins-authentic-texas-chili-fixins.jpgD-L-Jardins-authentic-texas-chili-fixinshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/coffee-and-tea-mixed-funny-bachelor-pad.jpgcoffee-and-tea-mixed-funny-bachelor-pad2017-11-22T17:34:07+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/08/21/blogger-burnout-avoid-it-embrace-it-or-just-take-a-freakin-break/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/funny-troll-demon-child-germany.jpgfunny-troll-demon-child-germany"I said 'go to bed,' Valefar, or tomorrow I won't give you any gerbils to eat." -- (Image Credit: Lwp Kommunikáció [https://www.flickr.com/photos/lwpkommunikacio/] Subject to CC 2.0 license.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/twitter-logo-icon.gifTwitter-Logo-Iconhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/facebook-logo-icon.gifFacebook-Logo-Icon2020-10-07T17:10:09+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/05/16/american-expat-tries-and-fails-to-make-german-bread/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/bread-loaves-baker-germany.jpgbread-loaves-baker-germanyPhoto Credit: U.S. Department of Agriculture (https://www.flickr.com/photos/usdagov/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/german-bread-slices-fail-dinkelbrot-spelt-cooking-baking.jpggerman-bread-slices-fail-dinkelbrot-spelt-cooking-bakinghttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/german-bread-fail-dinkelbrot-spelt-cooking-baking.jpggerman-bread-fail-dinkelbrot-spelt-cooking-baking2017-08-25T07:27:25+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/11/09/reader-survey-should-i-self-publish-a-book-based-upon-my-blog-oh-god-my-wife-is-german/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/self-publishing-a-book-ebook.jpgself-publishing-a-book-ebook"I could really use some help here." -- (Image Credit: kellywritershouse [https://www.flickr.com/photos/kellywritershouse/] Subject to CC 2.0 license.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/heres-a-bunny-with-a-pancake-on-its-head.jpgheres-a-bunny-with-a-pancake-on-its-headImage Credit: Andreas Matern (https://www.flickr.com/photos/amatern/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. (Text added by me, though it is hardly original.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/writers-block-funny-bad-writing-typewriter-frustrated-author.jpgblogger burnout and writer's block"Someone please give me a match." -- (Image Credit: Drew Coffman [https://www.flickr.com/photos/drewcoffman/] -- Image subject to CC 2.0 license.)2017-08-21T14:03:34+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/08/07/having-a-baby-in-germany-to-breed-or-not-to-breed-that-is-the-question/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/having-a-baby-in-germany-human-embryo-womb.jpgHaving-a-Baby-in-Germany-Human-Embryo-Womb"Awww, it's so adorable! Just like a rotten pear smeared in ass." -- (Image Credit: "9-Week Human Embryo from Ectopic Pregnancy" [Modified from original] by Ed Uthman [https://www.flickr.com/photos/euthman/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/human-embryo-baby-in-the-womb-germany1-e1502117304546.jpghuman-embryo-baby-in-the-womb-Germany"Awww, it's so adorable! Just like a rotten pear smeared in ass." -- (Image Credit: Ed Uthman [https://www.flickr.com/photos/euthman/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2019-04-09T06:11:08+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/07/31/ask-yeti-advice-from-an-evil-beagle-part-2/2017-08-04T08:18:11+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/04/17/leinenzwang-the-german-dog-leash-law-i-wanna-kick-in-the-dick/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/funny-dog-leash-law-germany.jpgfunny-dog-leash-law-germany"" -- (Image Credit: Juana Esparza Saludes [https://www.flickr.com/photos/lunnarisdeidhun/] Subject to CC 2.0 Locense.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/funny-cute-dog-faces-white-background-leinenzwang-germany-leash-law.jpgfunny-cute-dog-faces-white-background-leinenzwang-germany-leash-law"You want to kick us where?" -- (Image Credit: panli54 [https://www.flickr.com/photos/53911972@N03/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/leinenzwang-niedersachsen-uebersicht_hundeauslauf_2017-hannover.jpgLeinenzwang-Niedersachsen-Uebersicht_Hundeauslauf_2017-hannoverhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/ground-nesting-bird.jpgground-nesting-bird"Tschüß" -- (Image Credit: U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service Headquarters [https://www.flickr.com/photos/usfwshq/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2024-07-10T09:46:02+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/12/12/manuel-neuer-my-nonsexual-but-still-gay-as-hell-man-crush-from-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/manuel-neuer-kids-foundation-logo.pngmanuel-neuer-kids-foundation-logo(Image Credit: https://www.facebook.com/ManuelNeuerKF)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/manuel_neuer_germany_national_football_team_soccer-player.jpgmanuel_neuer_germany_national_football_team_soccer-player"There is none like You, O LORD; You are great, and great is Your name in might." -- (Image Credit: Steindy [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Steindy] Subject to CC 3.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/manuel_neuer_germany_national_football_team-goalkeeper-captain.jpgmanuel_neuer_germany_national_football_team-goalkeeper-captain"Please contain your orgasms." -- (Image Credit: Steindy [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Steindy] Subject to CC 3.0 License.)2022-03-05T05:43:46+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/08/22/an-initial-impression-of-the-german-language-articles/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/german-language-gender-based-articles-funny-flag.jpggerman-language-gender-based-articles-funny-flag"Der, die, das? ...NEIN." -- Photo by fdecomite (http://www.flickr.com/photos/fdecomite/)2017-07-26T14:33:44+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/07/24/beer-battle-portland-vs-seattle-microbreweries/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/mug-of-beer-dramatic-delicious-seattle-athenian.jpgMug-of-Beer-Dramatic-Delicious-Seattle-Athenianhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/37-funny-diaper-changing-bathroom-sign.jpg37-funny-diaper-changing-bathroom-signhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/37-beagle-cute-puppy.jpg37-beagle-cute-puppyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/36-pike-place-market-fish-mural-art-tunnel.jpg36-pike-place-market-fish-mural-art-tunnelhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/35-seattle-bay-ferris-wheel.jpg35-seattle-bay-ferris-wheelhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/34-old-stove-brewing-co-at-pike-place-market.jpg34-Old-Stove-Brewing-Co-at-Pike-Place-Markethttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/33-seattle-drain-pipe-art-pike-place-market.jpg33-seattle-drain-pipe-art-pike-place-markethttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/32-seattle-skyscrapers.jpg32-seattle-skyscrapershttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/31-seattle-judgement-day-nuclear-apocalypse.jpg31-seattle-judgement-day-nuclear-apocalypsehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/30-free-the-nipple-bumper-sticker.jpg30-free-the-nipple-bumper-sticker2019-09-28T09:50:17+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/08/26/culture-shock-17-the-horrible-awful-purely-evil-german-neighbors-downstairs/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/passed-out-college-kid-party-funny.jpgpassed-out-college-kid-party-funny -- Image courtesy of shrtstck | icnt.mx (http://www.flickr.com/photos/thebigo/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/steak-and-potatoes-dinner-knife-plate.jpgsteak-and-potatoes-dinner-knife-plateAnd justice. Our spare ribs taste like justice. -- Image courtesy of Whiplus (http://www.flickr.com/photos/64785988@N04/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/scary-mean-old-woman.jpgscary-mean-old-woman-- Image courtesy of outcast104 (http://www.flickr.com/photos/outcast104/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/scary-mean-old-man.jpgOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA"Hey, you're not smoking. Let me light another one for you. Don't wanna keep the Reaper waiting!" -- Image courtesy of SpaceShoe (http://www.flickr.com/photos/spaceshoe/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/funny-mean-evil-old-couple-elderly-waiting-for-death.jpgfunny-mean-evil-old-couple-elderly-waiting-for-death-- Image courtesy of Martin Smith (http://www.flickr.com/photos/23310679@N07/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/creepy-sculpture-garden-gnome-old-couple-funny.jpgcreepy-sculpture-garden-gnome-old-couple-funnyThis is us, every Friday night. -- Image courtesy of IvanWalsh.com (http://www.flickr.com/photos/ivanwalsh/)2021-11-23T13:26:49+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/07/10/can-learning-a-second-language-destroy-your-native-tongue/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/healthy-brain.jpghealthy-brain"Here's a scan of your brain. We've indicated the healthy parts in red, and the retarded parts in blue." -- (Image Credit: digital-drugs-binaural-beats, by digitalbob8 [https://www.flickr.com/photos/44568283@N02/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/hillbilly-shitsville-tennessee.jpgHillbilly-Shitsville-Tennessee"We talk English, bitch." -- (Image Credit: Das Wedding, [Edited from original] by Aaron Muszalski [https://www.flickr.com/photos/sfslim/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/does-learning-another-language-hurt-your-own-german-english.jpgDoes-Learning-Another-Language-Hurt-Your-Own-German-English"I dunno. Tastes pretty good to me." -- (Image Credit: An Affair with Chocolate [Modified from original], by Sarah Robinson [https://www.flickr.com/photos/sarahdeephotography/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2019-03-16T16:07:59+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/07/17/funniest-google-autocomplete-suggestion-fails/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funniest-autocomplete-predictions-and-suggestions.jpgfunniest-autocomplete-predictions-and-suggestions"And her childhood comes to an abrupt end in 3... 2... 1..." -- (Image Credit: Mock Shock [Modified from original], by Jon Bunting [https://www.flickr.com/photos/84744710@N06/] Subject to CC 2.0 License. Google Logo ©Google, duh.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funniest-google-autocomplete-searches-121.pngFunniest-Google-Autocomplete-Searches-12https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funniest-google-autocomplete-searches-34.pngFunniest-Google-Autocomplete-Searches-34https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funniest-google-autocomplete-searches-33.pngFunniest-Google-Autocomplete-Searches-33https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funniest-google-autocomplete-searches-32.pngFunniest-Google-Autocomplete-Searches-32https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funniest-google-autocomplete-searches-31.pngFunniest-Google-Autocomplete-Searches-31https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funniest-google-autocomplete-searches-30.pngFunniest-Google-Autocomplete-Searches-30https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funniest-google-autocomplete-searches-29.pngFunniest-Google-Autocomplete-Searches-29https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funniest-google-autocomplete-searches-28.pngFunniest-Google-Autocomplete-Searches-28https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funniest-google-autocomplete-searches-27.pngFunniest-Google-Autocomplete-Searches-272023-07-08T20:23:30+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/03/10/my-german-wifes-first-encounter-with-kitchen-kaboodle-in-portland-oregon/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/kitchen-barista-supplies-expensive-nice-extravagant-germany.jpgkitchen-barista-supplies-expensive-nice-extravagant-germanyPhoto by Thomas (http://www.flickr.com/photos/_-o-_/)2017-06-20T11:50:36+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/06/26/why-are-germans-so-depressing-because-youre-hanging-out-with-the-wrong-ones/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/sad-depressed-german-woman.jpgSad-Depressed-German-Woman(Image Credit: Trapped by Mark Ingle [https://www.flickr.com/photos/micurse/] Modified from Original. Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/germany-is-depressing.jpgGermany-is-depressing(Image Credit: Swallowed by the Sea by Kelly B [https://www.flickr.com/photos/foreverphoto/] Modified from original. Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/germans-are-downers-sad-and-depressing.jpgGermans-Are-Downers-Sad-and-Depressing"This guy is WILD. Trust me. He just needs a couple beers poured down his throat." -- (Image Credit: Depression by ryan melaugh (Modified from original) [https://www.flickr.com/photos/120632374@N07/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2021-08-23T14:40:47+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/07/03/google-gone-wrong-raunchy-search-terms-round-up-the-wrong-sorts-of-readers/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/sexy-woman-and-creepy-stalker-man.jpgSexy-Woman-and-Creepy-Stalker-Man(Image Credit: Sexy Woman (Edited from original) by Marina Spektr [https://www.flickr.com/photos/154655365@N07/] and Creepy Man (Edited from original) by Lindsey Turner [https://www.flickr.com/photos/theogeo/] Both images subject to CC 2.0 license.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funny-google-search-engine-terms-67.jpgFunny-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-67https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funny-google-search-engine-terms-66.jpgFunny-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-66https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funny-google-search-engine-terms-65.jpgFunny-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-65https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funny-google-search-engine-terms-64.jpgFunny-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-64https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funny-google-search-engine-terms-62.jpgFunny-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-62https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funny-google-search-engine-terms-63.jpgFunny-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-63https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funny-google-search-engine-terms-61.jpgFunny-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-61https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funny-google-search-engine-terms-60.jpgFunny-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-60https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/funny-google-search-engine-terms-59.jpgFunny-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-592017-07-03T16:20:02+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/06/19/sexy-sick-and-scary-godless-google-searches-gather-sin-seeking-strangers/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funniest-google-search-terms-and-results.jpgFunniest-Google-Search-Terms-and-Results"Look honey, we've got another stalker! That's like ten new ones this week!" -- (Image Credit: Sexy Woman (Modified from original) by Marina Spektr [https://www.flickr.com/photos/154655365@N07/] and Creepy Old Man (Modified from original) by Becky Wetherington [https://www.flickr.com/photos/macbeck/] -- Both images subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-google-searches-and-keywords-46.jpgFunny-Google-Searches-and-Keywords-46https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-google-searches-and-keywords-45.jpgFunny-Google-Searches-and-Keywords-45https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-google-searches-and-keywords-44.jpgFunny-Google-Searches-and-Keywords-44https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-google-searches-and-keywords-43.jpgFunny-Google-Searches-and-Keywords-43https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-google-searches-and-keywords-42.jpgFunny-Google-Searches-and-Keywords-42https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-google-searches-and-keywords-41.jpgFunny-Google-Searches-and-Keywords-41https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-google-searches-and-keywords-40.jpgFunny-Google-Searches-and-Keywords-40https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-google-searches-and-keywords-39.jpgFunny-Google-Searches-and-Keywords-39https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-google-searches-and-keywords-38.jpgFunny-Google-Searches-and-Keywords-382018-12-07T10:50:49+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/06/12/the-death-of-a-deadline-how-one-blogger-almost-blew-his-5-year-streak/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/img_1776.jpgIMG_1776https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/img_1762.jpgIMG_1762https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/img_1761.jpgIMG_1761https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/img_1759.jpgIMG_1759https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/img_1758.jpgIMG_1758https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/img_1744.jpgIMG_1744https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/img_1743.jpgIMG_1743https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/img_1742.jpgIMG_1742https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/img_1741.jpgIMG_1741https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/img_1710.jpgIMG_17102017-07-05T19:17:37+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/05/29/moving-to-germany-why-would-you-ever-do-such-a-thing/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/german-tan-generator-from-sparkasse-bank.jpgGerman-TAN-Generator-from-Sparkasse-Bank"Hi there! I'm a German TAN Generator. I will be your guide on your journey through Hell."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/moving-to-germany-flying-from-airport-featured.jpgMoving-to-Germany-Flying-from-Airport-Featured"Ah yes, the day of departure..." -- (Image Credit: madrazz [https://www.flickr.com/photos/41192645@N08/] -- Text added to original -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/moving-to-germany-flying-from-airport.jpgMoving-to-Germany-Flying-from-Airport"Ah yes, the day of departure..." -- (Image Credit: madrazz [https://www.flickr.com/photos/41192645@N08/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/expatfinder-logo.pngExpatFinder-Logo2021-11-27T17:43:16+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/06/05/what-do-you-want-on-your-tombstone-10-famous-last-words-epitaphs-and-gravestones-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-gravestones-epitaphs-and-famous-last-words-featured.jpgFunny-Gravestones-Epitaphs-and-Famous-Last-Words-FEATUREDhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-gravestones-epitaphs-and-famous-last-words-volker.jpgFunny-Gravestones-Epitaphs-and-Famous-Last-Words-VOLKERhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-gravestones-epitaphs-and-famous-last-words-schwarzkopf.jpgFunny-Gravestones-Epitaphs-and-Famous-Last-Words-SCHWARZKOPFhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-gravestones-epitaphs-and-famous-last-words-schmidt.jpgFunny-Gravestones-Epitaphs-and-Famous-Last-Words-SCHMIDThttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-gravestones-epitaphs-and-famous-last-words-omenzetter.jpgFunny-Gravestones-Epitaphs-and-Famous-Last-Words-OMENZETTERhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-gravestones-epitaphs-and-famous-last-words-kohnert.jpgFunny-Gravestones-Epitaphs-and-Famous-Last-Words-KOHNERThttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-gravestones-epitaphs-and-famous-last-words-kassan.jpgFunny-Gravestones-Epitaphs-and-Famous-Last-Words-KASSANhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-gravestones-epitaphs-and-famous-last-words-hagemann.jpgFunny-Gravestones-Epitaphs-and-Famous-Last-Words-HAGEMANNhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-gravestones-epitaphs-and-famous-last-words-haack.jpgFunny-Gravestones-Epitaphs-and-Famous-Last-Words-HAACKhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/funny-gravestones-epitaphs-and-famous-last-words-fritz.jpgFunny-Gravestones-Epitaphs-and-Famous-Last-Words-FRITZ2017-07-18T10:11:32+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/16/germans-eat-fat/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/porkbelly-fat-speck-il_candido_lardo_di_colonnata.jpgporkbelly-fat-speck-Il_candido_Lardo_di_Colonnata"Ugh." -- Image Credit: OneArmedMan (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Il_candido_Lardo_di_Colonnata.JPG) 2017-05-22T14:36:51+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/19/denglish-17/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/smiling-in-circles-german-expression.jpgSmiling-in-Circles-German-Expression"Smiling so hard it's making me dizzy." -- (Image Credit: bigbirdz [https://www.flickr.com/photos/bigbirdz/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2017-05-22T14:31:55+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/08/31/coconuts-and-peaches-social-differences-between-germans-and-americans/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/coconuts-vs-peaches-germans-and-americans.jpgCoconuts-vs-Peaches-Germans-and-Americans(Image Credits: Coconut Image by Hafiz Issadeen [https://www.flickr.com/photos/yimhafiz/] and Peach Image by liz west [https://www.flickr.com/photos/calliope/] -- Both Subject CC 2.0 License.)2017-05-22T14:21:11+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/10/22/culture-shock-3-american-man-experiences-blind-rage-using-shower-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/hannover-germany-shower-stall-glass-walls.jpghannover-germany-shower-stall-glass-wallsGerman Shower: 1, American Body: 0https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/shower-indeutschland-with-drain.jpgshower-indeutschland-with-drainI suspect this design stems from the Iron Maiden.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/bathroom-ventilation-in-hanover-germany.jpgbathroom-ventilation-in-hanover-germanyNeither one of these holes bring in fresh air.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/german-shower-stall-sliding-doors.jpggerman-shower-stall-sliding-doors"Look, Mr. Shower, you don't like me and I don't like you. Let's just get through this and play nice in front of my wife." 2019-09-22T11:37:28+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/12/15/tips-from-an-american-expat-everyday-products-youll-miss-after-moving-to-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/new-standard-american-shower-head1.jpgnew-standard-american-shower-head"Can't help the way I was raised!" -- (Image Credit: John Loo [https://www.flickr.com/photos/johnloo/] CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/slippers-house-shoes-hausschuhe-germany-japan.jpgslippers-house-shoes-hausschuhe-germany-japanPhoto Credit: Travis Sanders (https://www.flickr.com/photos/travis_sanders/) -- Image subject to CC 2.0 Generic licensehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/real-liverwurst-leberwurst-germany-food.jpgreal-liverwurst-leberwurst-germany-foodPhoto Credit: mike germany (https://www.flickr.com/photos/bestgermanfood/) -- Image subject to CC 2.0 Generic licensehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/levis-501-jeans-butt-closeup.jpglevis-501-jeans-butt-closeupPhoto Credit: Alex-501 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/60705975@N08/) -- Image subject to CC 2.0 Generic licensehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/burrito-with-beer-platter-huge-super.jpgburrito-with-beer-platter-huge-super"Welcome home." -- Photo Credit: Ruth Hartnup (https://www.flickr.com/photos/ruthanddave/) -- Image subject to CC 2.0 Generic licensehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/live-work-travel-usa-logo-seal.pnglive-work-travel-usa-logo-sealhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/live-work-travel-header-graphic.jpglive-work-travel-header-graphic2017-10-17T18:30:36+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/04/13/living-in-germany-an-american-expat-is-horrified-to-discover-the-truth-behind-german-schreber-gardens/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/schrebergarten-schreber-gardens-koln-germany.jpgschrebergarten-schreber-gardens-koln-germany“And Cain went out from the presence of the Lord, and dwelt in the land of Nod…” -- (Image Credit: Marco Verch [https://www.flickr.com/photos/30478819@N08/] CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/kleingartenkolonie-germany-schreber-gardens.jpgkleingartenkolonie-germany-schreber-gardens(Image Credit: Thomas Kohler [https://www.flickr.com/photos/mecklenburg/] CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/german-schreber-gardens-schrebergarten-deutschland-gardening.jpgGerman-Schreber-Gardens-Schrebergarten-Deutschland-GardeningPhoto Credit: Patrik Tschudin (https://www.flickr.com/photos/patsch/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Generic Copyright.2017-05-22T14:01:25+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/12/16/expat-focus-interview-an-american-answers-questions-about-living-as-an-expat-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/funny-german-soccer-fussball-fan-drunk.jpgfunny-german-soccer-fussball-fan-drunk"Ha ha ha! I have no idea what I'm doing!" -- Image Credit: Rob124 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/15472273@N07/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/scary-funny-german-soccer-fans-fussball.jpgscary-funny-german-soccer-fans-fussballhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/funny-football-punt-miss-kick-field-goal.jpgfunny-football-punt-miss-kick-field-goalPhoto by Paul L Dineen (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pauldineen/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/funny-christmas-santa-crying-kids-lap.jpgfunny-christmas-santa-crying-kids-lapImage by Scott Clark (http://www.flickr.com/photos/lighttable/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/funny-fat-joke-dr-phil-sugar-coat-it.jpgfunny-fat-joke-dr-phil-sugar-coat-itImage by Duncan Hull (http://www.flickr.com/photos/dullhunk/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/funny-german-joke-easter-bunny-chocolate-arsch.jpgfunny-german-joke-easter-bunny-chocolate-arschPhoto by Duncan Hull (http://www.flickr.com/photos/dullhunk/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/traditional-german-food-meat-wurst-sausage-cheese.jpgtraditional-german-food-meat-wurst-sausage-cheesePhoto by Reiner Kraft (http://www.flickr.com/photos/reiner/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/scary-funny-german-soccer-fans-fuc39fball.jpgscary-funny-german-soccer-fans-fußballPhoto by Cameron Parkins (http://www.flickr.com/photos/cameronparkins/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/expat-focus_for_anyone_moving_or_living_abroad.jpgexpat-focus_for_anyone_moving_or_living_abroadhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/expat-focus_for_anyone_moving_or_living_abroad.jpgexpat-focus_for_anyone_moving_or_living_abroad2021-03-26T05:33:40+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/10/14/how-to-convince-your-german-neighbors-you-are-a-thief-and-an-alcoholic-in-one-simple-gesture/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/jelzin-german-russian-vodka-bottle-thief.jpgjelzin-german-russian-vodka-bottle-thiefhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/maschsee-mai-tai-hannover-funny-drink-recipe-german.jpgMaschsee-Mai-Tai-Hannover-Funny-Drink-Recipe-GermanI invented a new German cocktail. I call it, "The Maschsee Mai Tai."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/step-5-fish-shaped-ice-cubes-germany-funny.jpgStep-5-Fish-Shaped-Ice-Cubes-Germany-FunnyThis ice cube tray is the one thing I have ever willingly purchased from IKEA.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/step-4-jelzin-vodka-revealed-germany.jpgStep-4-Jelzin-Vodka-Revealed-Germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/step-3-jelzin-vodka-hidden-in-columbia-pullover-germany.jpgStep-3-Jelzin-Vodka-Hidden-in-Columbia-Pullover-GermanyStep 3: Put your hands in your pockets and walk home like the stealthy genius you are. And no, I was not wearing these pajama pants out in public at the time.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/step-2-jelzin-vodka-up-sleeve-germany.jpgStep-2-Jelzin-Vodka-Up-Sleeve-GermanyStep 2: Slip the business end up your sleeve. No one can see you do this. If they do, you must either hit them with the bottle or run away laughing (but never both).https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/step-1-jelzin-vodka-germany.jpgStep-1-Jelzin-Vodka-GermanyStep 1: Cradle the bottle like a precious baby. Love it. Give it a name. Pay it an allowance. Children are the future.2017-05-22T13:58:15+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/10/24/dont-trust-the-rabbit-an-interview-with-german-youtube-star-trixi-rabbit/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/dont-trust-the-rabbit-logo-comparison.pngdont-trust-the-rabbit-logo-comparison(Image Credit: ©Trixi [http://dont-trust-the-rabbit.blogspot.de/] and ©Dreamworks [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:ANThology_AAF.jpg#filelinks]. All rights reserved.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/donttrusttherabbit-photo-15.pngdonttrusttherabbit-photo-15https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/donttrusttherabbit-photo-14.pngdonttrusttherabbit-photo-14https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/donttrusttherabbit-photo-13.pngdonttrusttherabbit-photo-13https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/donttrusttherabbit-photo-12.pngdonttrusttherabbit-photo-12https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/donttrusttherabbit-photo-11.pngdonttrusttherabbit-photo-11https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/donttrusttherabbit-photo-10.pngdonttrusttherabbit-photo-10https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/donttrusttherabbit-photo-09.pngdonttrusttherabbit-photo-09https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/donttrusttherabbit-photo-08.pngdonttrusttherabbit-photo-08https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/donttrusttherabbit-photo-07.pngdonttrusttherabbit-photo-072022-12-20T22:17:59+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/11/14/the-top-15-things-i-love-most-about-my-german-wife/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/hot-sexy-german-model-woman-blonde-big.jpghot-sexy-german-model-woman-blonde-bigThat ain't her, but seriously: German chicks are HOT. -- (Image Credit: Melissa Adret [https://www.flickr.com/photos/melissaadret/] -- Lightly Edited -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/the-walking-dead-season-5-screenshot-bat-zombies.jpgthe-walking-dead-season-5-screenshot-bat-zombies"Intro to Dentistry: Tooth Removal 101" -- (Image Credit: Casey Florig [https://www.flickr.com/photos/caseyflorig/] -- Cropped and adjusted -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/german-woman-driving-stick-shift.jpggerman-woman-driving-stick-shift"Jesus Christ, who sits that close to the steering wheel??" -- (Image Credit: anton petukhov [https://www.flickr.com/photos/petukhovanton/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/german-woman-drinking-beer.jpggerman-woman-drinking-beerImage Credit: jan bocek [https://www.flickr.com/photos/visualchlebovo/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/burping-belching-pig-swine.jpgburping-belching-pig-swine(Image Credit: LadyDragonflyCC - >;< [https://www.flickr.com/photos/ladydragonflyherworld/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/hot-sexy-german-model-woman-blonde.jpghot-sexy-german-model-woman-blondehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/50-shades-of-grey-book-german-version-paperback.jpg50-shades-of-grey-book-german-version-paperbackLike this, only worse.2017-06-19T21:07:54+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/05/13/marrying-a-german-5-things-to-know-before-die-hochzeit/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/wedding-cake-in-germany-interracial-cutting-reception.jpgwedding-cake-in-germany-interracial-cutting-receptionhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/ridiculous-extravagant-expensive-wedding-cake1.jpgridiculous-extravagant-expensive-wedding-cake“Is that a cake or a delicious monument to capitalism?” -- Image courtesy of Anthony van Dyck (http://www.flickr.com/photos/maoman/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/poltergeist-funny-parody-theyre-heeeeeere-movie.jpgpoltergeist-funny-parody-theyre-heeeeeere-movie"I'll marry you! I swear! Just please don't ever touch me again!" -- Image courtesy Jennifer Mathis (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jenxer/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/hogtied-groom-bride-couple-wedding-funny-humor-reluctant.jpghogtied-groom-bride-couple-wedding-funny-humor-reluctantPictured: the bride, about to die... hogtied.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/ghost-zombie-dead-bride-wedding-halloween-costumes.jpgghost-zombie-dead-bride-wedding-halloween-costumes"Best. Polterabend. EVER." -- Image courtesy of [Duncan] (http://www.flickr.com/photos/duncanh1/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/funny-teenager-child-kid-with-beer-alcohol-underage-drinking.jpgfunny-teenager-child-kid-with-beer-alcohol-underage-drinking"Where do you go to Highschool?" "Brewdogg Academy yo!" -- Image courtesy of Gregg O'Connell (http://www.flickr.com/photos/greggoconnell/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/funny-german-wedding-rings-engagement-humor-design1.jpgfunny-german-wedding-rings-engagement-humor-designGerman Design: Functional AND intimidating. -- Image courtesy of Jyri Engestrom (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jyri/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/awesome-funny-german-wedding-reception-guests-dancing.jpgawesome-funny-german-wedding-reception-guests-dancingRocking you all night long... to death. -- Image courtesy of JasonParis (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jasonparis/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/wedding-cost-infographic-chart-expenses-marriage-tips.pngwedding-cost-infographic-chart-expenses-marriage-tips"Wait, wait... why are we doing this again?" -- Image courtesy of sourcherry.org2019-05-26T12:43:14+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/05/15/beer-from-finland-american-expat-conducts-taste-test-violence-ensues/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/pyynikin-beer-from-finland-big-4-sun-sampler-review-taste-test-flag.jpgPyynikin-Beer-from-Finland-Big-4-Sun-Sampler-Review-Taste-Test-FlagPyynikin-Beer-from-Finland-Big-4-Sun-Sampler-Review-Taste-Test-Flaghttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/13-pyynikin-beer-from-finland-session-american-ipa-review.jpg13-Pyynikin-Beer-from-Finland-Session-American-IPA-Reviewhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/12-pyynikin-beer-from-finland-session-american-ipa-review.jpg12-Pyynikin-Beer-from-Finland-Session-American-IPA-Reviewhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/11-pyynikin-beer-from-finland-dammer-pils-review.jpg11-Pyynikin-Beer-from-Finland-Dammer-Pils-Reviewhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/10-pyynikin-beer-from-finland-ruby-jazz-ale-review.jpg10-Pyynikin-Beer-from-Finland-Ruby-Jazz-Ale-Reviewhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/09-pyynikin-finnish-beer-for-breakfast.jpg09-Pyynikin-Finnish-Beer-for-Breakfasthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/08-pyynikin-beer-from-finland-alcohol-content-information.jpg08-Pyynikin-Beer-from-Finland-Alcohol-Content-Informationhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/06-pyynikin-beer-from-finland-session-american-ipa.jpg06-Pyynikin-Beer-from-Finland-Session-American-IPAhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/05-pyynikin-beer-from-finland-dammer-pils.jpg05-Pyynikin-Beer-from-Finland-Dammer-Pilshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/05-pyynikin-beer-from-finland-cloudberry-saison.jpg05-Pyynikin-Beer-from-Finland-Cloudberry-Saison2018-04-13T21:52:39+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/05/08/freaks-geeks-and-poor-linguistic-techniques-how-one-american-expat-is-destroying-the-english-language/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/freaks-and-geeks-tv-show-cast-netflix.jpgFreaks-and-Geeks-TV-Show-Cast-Netflix(Image Credit: FAN THE FIRE Magazine [https://www.flickr.com/photos/loadmagazine/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2017-05-09T09:54:53+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/guests/what-the-u-s-could-learn-from-germanys-higher-education-system-by-kenny-martinez/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/university-students-in-germany-orientation.jpgUniversity-Students-in-Germany-Orientation(Image Credit: Universität Salzburg (PR) [https://www.flickr.com/photos/uni-salzburg/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/university-of-salzburg-germany-students-in-class.jpgUniversity-of-Salzburg-Germany-Students-in-Class(Image Credit: Universität Salzburg (PR) [https://www.flickr.com/photos/uni-salzburg/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/going-to-college-in-germany-university-deutschland.jpgGoing-to-College-in-Germany-University-Deutschland(Image Credit: kmezon [https://www.flickr.com/photos/kmezon/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/germany-forschungs-campus-garching-fakultacc88t-fucc88r-mathematik-und-informatik.jpgGermany-Forschungs-Campus Garching - Fakultät für Mathematik und Informatik(Image Credit: digital cat [https://www.flickr.com/photos/14646075@N03/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2017-05-04T14:11:10+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/05/01/expat-sandwich-an-interview-with-podcast-host-marty-walker/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/100-dildos-sex-toy-collection.jpg100-dildos-sex-toy-collection(Image Credit: Pedro Vera [https://www.flickr.com/photos/pvera/] Cropped from original image. Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/000_gen_fb_psy.pngExpart Sandwich Podcast Logo"Hang on... I'm tripping balls." -- (Image Credit: Marty Walker [http://expatsandwich.com/] -- All Rights reserved.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/expat-sandwich-and-oh-god-my-wife-is-german-podcast.jpgExpat-Sandwich-and-Oh-God-My-Wife-Is-German-Podcasthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/000_gen_tw.pngExpat Sandwich Podcast Travel Logo2017-05-16T11:03:18+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/04/24/dominos-pizza-in-germany-how-one-american-expat-greets-the-delivery-guy/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/dominos-pizza-in-germany_how-one-american-expat-greets-the-delivery-guy-lr.jpgDominos-Pizza-in-Germany_How-One-American-Expat-Greets-the-Delivery-Guy-LR(Image Credit: Domino's Pizza Sign by Mr. Blue MauMau [https://www.flickr.com/photos/bluemaumau/] + Heart Smoke Ring by MattysFlicks [https://www.flickr.com/photos/68397968@N07/] -- Both images have been altered and are subject to CC 2.0 License.)2017-07-13T11:52:08+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/04/10/parking-in-germany-stick-your-neck-out-or-burn-in-hell/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/giraffe-burning-in-hell-fire-africa.jpgGiraffe-Burning-in-Hell-Fire-Africa(Image Credit: Giraffe by Derek Keats [https://www.flickr.com/photos/dkeats/] Modified, Subject to CC 2.0 License + Fire Background by Tristan Ferne [https://www.flickr.com/photos/tristanf/3034889893/] Modified, Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2017-05-06T22:02:41+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/guests/german-wedding-traditions-by-katie-jones/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/traditional-bridal-cup-german-wedding.jpgtraditional-bridal-cup-german-wedding"Please tell me that thing isn't made out of lead." -- (Image Credit: Leon Brocard [https://www.flickr.com/photos/acme/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/kidnapping-the-bride-german-wedding-tradition.jpgkidnapping-the-bride-german-wedding-tradition(Image Credit: Micah Chiang [https://www.flickr.com/photos/micah_68/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/german-wedding-tradition-log-cutting-ceremony.jpggerman-wedding-tradition-log-cutting-ceremony(Image Credit: mrak75 [https://www.flickr.com/photos/mrak75/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/german-vw-wedding-procession-tradition-decorated.jpggerman-vw-wedding-procession-tradition-decorated(Image Credit: Andrew Bone [https://www.flickr.com/photos/andreboeni/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/junggesellenabschied-german-bachelor-party-traditions.jpgJunggesellenabschied-german-bachelor-party-traditions(Image Credit: Crosa [https://www.flickr.com/photos/facing-my-life/] Subject to CC 2.0 Locense.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/german-wedding-polterabend-tradition-broken-porcelain.jpggerman-wedding-Polterabend-tradition-broken-porcelain(Image Credit: Maret Hosemann [https://www.flickr.com/photos/maret1983/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/german-wedding-traditions-main.jpggerman-wedding-traditions-main"Wait, what happens next?" -- (Image Credit: Mish Sukharev [https://www.flickr.com/photos/mishism/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2017-04-03T16:24:34+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/03/27/neologism-coined-words-from-a-classless-blogger/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/classless-blogger-nerd-tattoo-neologism.jpgClassless-Blogger-Nerd-Tattoo-Neologism(Image Credit: alwitt [https://www.flickr.com/photos/alwitt/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2017-07-25T16:46:04+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/03/20/virgo-the-6th-astrological-sign-of-the-zodiac-as-defined-by-my-german-wife/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/virgo-zodiac-star-sign-symbol-virgin-horoscope.jpgVirgo-Zodiac-Star-Sign-Symbol-Virgin-HoroscopeApparently, Virgos tend to be "picky and critical," which would explain why they've never managed to find a partner for the Horizontal Lambada. -- (Image Credit: Fondo Antiguo de la Biblioteca de la Universidad de Sevilla [https://www.flickr.com/photos/fdctsevilla/] Symbol added. Subject to CC 2.0 License)2017-03-24T07:01:21+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/03/13/dominos-pizza-in-germany-a-delivery-affair-of-the-strangest-sort/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/dominos-de-pizza-germany-order-online-delivery.pngDominos.de-pizza-germany-order-online-deliveryhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/dominos-pizza-box-logo-death-skulls.jpgDominos-Pizza-Box-Logo-Death-Skullshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/deutschland-pizza-und-bier-becks.jpgDeutschland-Pizza-und-Bier-Beckshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/best-pizza-in-germany.jpgBest-Pizza-in-Germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/dominos-pizza-germany-tuna.pngdominos-pizza-germany-tunahttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/dominos-pizza-germany-dutchman.pngdominos-pizza-germany-dutchmanhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/dominos-pizza-germany-chicken-exotic.pngdominos-pizza-germany-chicken-exotichttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/dominos-pizza-crazy-dog.pngdominos-pizza-crazy-doghttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/dominos-pizza-bombay.pngdominos-pizza-bombayhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/dominos-pizzatracker-mit-text.jpgdominos-pizzatracker-mit-text2021-09-16T13:26:45+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/03/06/hilarious-german-proverbs-part-vii/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/funny-proverbs-joke-germany-deutschland-laughing-bride-wedding.jpgfunny-proverbs-joke-germany-deutschland-laughing-bride-wedding“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” -- Mark Twain (Image Credit: bradleypjohnson [https://www.flickr.com/photos/bradleypjohnson/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2024-01-17T06:09:10+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/02/27/should-you-hug-your-dog-or-not-seriously-this-is-being-debated/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/should-you-hug-your-dog-or-not1.jpgshould-you-hug-your-dog-or-notWait, people are actually arguing about this?2017-03-03T01:11:55+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/02/20/the-german-verb-abholen-when-direct-language-translation-goes-wrong/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/learning-german-funny-picture-abholen-denglish2.jpglearning-german-funny-picture-abholen-denglish2017-03-04T10:47:07+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/f-a-q/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/frequently-asked-questions-faq-moving-to-germany.jpgFrequently-Asked-Questions-FAQ-Moving-to-GermanyImage Credit: photosteve101 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/42931449@N07/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. 2024-04-29T20:14:36+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/02/13/dorum-neufeld-germanys-dog-friendly-north-sea-vacation-destination/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/ferienwohnungen-dorum-neufeld-google-maps2.jpgferienwohnungen-dorum-neufeld-google-maps(Original image courtesy of Google Maps, obviously.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/20-stortebecker-german-beer-bottle.jpg20-stortebecker-german-beer-bottleWhat does everyone do at the North Sea on New Year's Eve? They get blackout drunk. That's what they do. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/19-nordsee-spa-wurster-dorum.jpg19-nordsee-spa-wurster-dorumThere's a closer view of the Nationalpark-Haus. They claim to be open "363 days a year," but they were closed the entire 6 days we were there. Those liars.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/18-boats-at-wurster-nordseekuste-cuxhaven.jpg18-boats-at-wurster-nordseekuste-cuxhavenThere's some rusty old boats for you to look at. I bet they're just FULL of bird shit.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/17-beagle-puppy-germany.jpg17-beagle-puppy-germanyThere's Yeti, enjoying a rare moment without having the wind beat his giant ears against his face.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/16-north-sea-ocean-germany-dorum-neufeld.jpg16-north-sea-ocean-germany-dorum-neufeldYeah. That shit right there goes on for MILES.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/15-wurster-nordseekuste-cuxhaven-ferienwohnung.jpg15-wurster-nordseekuste-cuxhaven-ferienwohnungHere come the clouds!! So long sun! (Honey, hand me the flask, please.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/13-german-north-sea-horizon-wind-turbines.jpg13-german-north-sea-horizon-wind-turbinesI gotta say though, those wind turbines had their work cut out for them. Holy Moses. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/14-wurster-nordsee-boat-docks.jpg14-wurster-nordsee-boat-docksThere are those boats again, sitting next to the Nationalpark-Haus Wurster Nordseeküste, which is kind of like a museum/spa/hellish swimming hole for noisy children.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/12-kiteboarding-kitesurfing-at-german-north-sea-dorum-neufeld-wurster.jpg12-kiteboarding-kitesurfing-at-german-north-sea-dorum-neufeld-wursterAt least the cutting wind is good for kitesurfing, right? (Jesus Christ, those guys are crazy.)2017-02-15T11:39:05+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/guests/10-weird-german-culture-differences-british-people-wont-understand-by-james/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/cultural-differences.jpgcultural-differences(Image Credit: James [http://www.deutschified.com/] CC NA License.)2017-02-09T13:12:45+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/guests/weird-and-wonderful-german-foods-by-the-expat-hub/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/logo_the-expat-hub.pnglogo_the-expat-hub2020-12-25T03:32:37+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/guests/the-german-shower-by-heidi-hefeweizen/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/heidi-hefeweizen-gravatar.jpegheidi-hefeweizen-gravatarhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/german-shower-squeegee-tile-water-towel-bath.jpggerman-shower-squeegee-tile-water-towel-bathMy shower squeegeehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/german-shower-tile-handle-water-towel.jpggerman-shower-tile-handle-water-towelMy shower2018-09-24T06:38:10+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/guests/the-awful-german-language-by-mark-twain/2023-10-08T09:37:56+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/guests/fat-fifty-and-filthy-a-german-beer-tour-by-fred-no-not-that-fred-talbot/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/porsche-911-turbo-cabriolet.jpgPorsche-911-Turbo-CabrioletThe Porsche 911 Turbo Cabriolet, available at Europe Luxury Car Hire -- Image Credit: © Europe Luxury Car Hirehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/german-waitress-spanking-beer.jpgGerman-Waitress-Spanking-BeerImage Credit: Jon Roig (https://www.flickr.com/photos/runnr_az/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/porsche-911-turbo-cabriolet-luxury-car-rental.jpgPorsche-911-Turbo-Cabriolet-Luxury-Car-RentalImage Credit: ilikewaffles11 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/72637915@N03/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/munich-german-beer-tour.jpgMunich-German-Beer-TourImage Credit: leigh wolf (https://www.flickr.com/photos/wolfworld/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/oktoberfest-munich-germany-beer-tour.jpgOktoberfest-Munich-Germany-Beer-TourImage Credit: Thomas sauzedde (https://www.flickr.com/photos/idirectori/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/munich-beer-germany-tour.jpgMunich-Beer-Germany-TourImage Credit: Sylvester S. (https://www.flickr.com/photos/56504847@N06/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/berlin-germany-beer-tour.jpgBerlin-Germany-Beer-TourImage Credit: Wendelin Jacober (https://www.flickr.com/photos/91619724@N04/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2017-02-08T18:18:28+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/guests/embracing-the-metric-system-by-sara/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/sauregurkenzeit-german-english-expat-blog.pngsauregurkenzeit-german-english-expat-blog2017-02-08T18:17:55+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/08/29/hilarious-german-proverbs-part-vi/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/young-german-couple-laughing-summer.jpgYoung-German-couple-laughing-summer“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” -- Albert Einstein -- Image Credit: Jonas Foyn Therkelsen (https://www.flickr.com/photos/30588093@N06/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2021-06-21T15:44:01+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/02/06/moving-to-germany-residence-permits-the-b1-language-exam-life-as-an-expat-and-more/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/moving-to-germany-residence-visas-the-b1-language-exam-and-other-faqs.jpgmoving-to-germany-residence-visas-the-b1-language-exam-and-other-faqs2017-07-08T22:53:20+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/01/30/alexander-gerst-my-nonsexual-but-still-gay-as-hell-man-crush-from-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/iss-41_eva-1_g_alexander_gerst.jpgiss-41_eva-1_g_alexander_gerst(Image Credit: NASA [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/iss-40_alexander_gerst_in_the_cupola.jpgiss-40_alexander_gerst_in_the_cupola(Image Credit: NASA [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/alexander-gerst-germany-rp15berlin.jpgalexander-gerst-germany-rp15berlin(Image Credit: Helge Thomas [https://www.flickr.com/photos/helgethomas/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/alexander_gerst_official_portrait.jpgalexander_gerst_official_portrait(Image Credit: NASA/Robert Markowitz [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/alexander_gerst_auf_der_republica_2015_17373373676.jpgalexander_gerst_auf_der_republica_2015_17373373676(Image Credit: sebaso from Berlin, Germany (re:publica 2015 Day Gerst) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0) or CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)2023-11-07T03:11:18+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/01/23/speaking-german-with-an-american-accent-and-a-vicious-cold/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/speaking-german-with-an-american-accent.jpgspeaking-german-with-an-american-accent2017-09-09T10:02:18+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/01/16/my-german-wife-destroys-the-greatest-cocktail-ever-invented/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/worst-cocktail-mixed-drink-gross-green-cream.jpgworst-cocktail-mixed-drink-gross-green-cream-- (Image Credit: Vee Satayamas [https://www.flickr.com/photos/vscript/] Subject to CC 2.0 License. Modified to look nasty.)2017-01-19T16:40:34+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/01/09/ask-yeti-advice-from-the-evil-beagle-part-1/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/05-beagle-evil-funny-scary-rays-branded.jpg05-beagle-evil-funny-scary-rays-branded“Then I saw a Beast that rose out of the Earth: The Antichrist; for it had two horns like a lamb and spoke the lies of Astaroth.” — Revelation 13:11–172017-01-09T12:10:49+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/12/19/yeti-the-evil-beagle/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/yeti-the-beagle-falling-off-logs.gifyeti-the-beagle-falling-off-logshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/000-beagle-evil-funny-scary-devil.jpg000-beagle-evil-funny-scary-devilhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/18-bad-beagle-behavior.jpg18-bad-beagle-behaviorDragged our favorite white blanket off the couch and onto the filthy ground for a little nap.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/17-puppy-housetraining-hosebroken-pee.jpg17-puppy-housetraining-hosebroken-peePissed on the foot of our bedspread so many times it's stained forever.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/16-bad-dog-ate-zipper.jpg16-bad-dog-ate-zipperRuined the zipper on his cage so I can never close it again.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/15-yeti-beagle-torn-pajama-pants.jpg15-yeti-beagle-torn-pajama-pantsTore a hole in my favorite pajamas. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/14-buried-alive-beagle-toy.jpg14-buried-alive-beagle-toyNow Yeti is burying him alive. That's adorable.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/13-beagle-and-pet-rock-munster.jpg13-beagle-and-pet-rock-munsterAh yes -- two best friends enjoying a little quality time together...https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/12-beagle-playing-with-toy-rock.jpg12-beagle-playing-with-toy-rockOh look, Yeti has his paw over Münster's nose and mouth. I guess they're playing 'Fuzzy Suffocation' again.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/11-pet-rock-kill-me-face-funny.jpg11-pet-rock-kill-me-face-funnyMünster is Yeti's favorite toy.2016-12-23T18:33:48+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2017/01/02/priceless-and-totally-inappropriate-google-search-terms-used-to-find-our-blog/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/shame-ashamed-funny-blogging-expat.jpgshame-ashamed-funny-blogging-expat(Image Credit: B. [https://www.flickr.com/photos/bmente/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/funny-google-search-terms-19.jpgfunny-google-search-terms-19https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/funny-google-search-terms-18.jpgfunny-google-search-terms-18https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/funny-google-search-terms-17.jpgfunny-google-search-terms-17https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/funny-google-search-terms-16.jpgfunny-google-search-terms-16https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/funny-google-search-terms-15.jpgfunny-google-search-terms-15https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/funny-google-search-terms-14.jpgfunny-google-search-terms-14https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/funny-google-search-terms-13.jpgfunny-google-search-terms-13https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/funny-google-search-terms-12.jpgfunny-google-search-terms-12https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/funny-google-search-terms-11.jpgfunny-google-search-terms-112021-02-07T19:04:09+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/11/28/beagle-puppy-first-week-at-home/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/yeti-innocent-beagle-puppy.jpgyeti-innocent-beagle-puppyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/american-style-peanut-butter-kong.jpgamerican-style-peanut-butter-konghttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/windigo-yeti-big-foot-snow-monster.jpgwindigo-yeti-big-foot-snow-monster"Windi-GO!" -- (Image Credit: JD Hancock [https://www.flickr.com/photos/jdhancock/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/yeti-beagle-puppy-on-german-s-bahn.jpgyeti-beagle-puppy-on-german-s-bahnMeet the newest member of our international family.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/beagle-puppy-dog-first-week-at-home.jpgbeagle-puppy-dog-first-week-at-home2016-12-23T09:02:38+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/11/21/1-or-2-an-important-phrase-to-know-before-using-the-bathroom-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/german-flag-in-dog-poop-deutschland.jpggerman-flag-in-dog-poop-deutschland"You stay classy, Germany."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/beagle-puppy-9-weeks-old-cutest-in-the-world.jpgbeagle-puppy-9-weeks-old-cutest-in-the-worldHigh self-esteem? CHECK.2017-01-26T14:01:29+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/guests/the-10-german-movies-you-must-see/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/top-10-german-movies-you-must-see.jpgtop-10-german-movies-you-must-seehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/my-german-expert-bar.pngmy-german-expert-barhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/the-lives-of-others.jpgthe-lives-of-othershttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/the-edukators.jpgthe-edukatorshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/the-baader-meinhof-complex.jpgthe-baader-meinhof-complexhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/sun-alley.jpgsun-alleyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/run-lola-run.jpgrun-lola-runhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/knockin-on-heavens-door.jpgknockin-on-heavens-doorhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/goodbye-lenin.jpggoodbye-leninhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/downfall.jpgdownfall2016-11-16T10:27:23+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/11/07/beagle-puppies-in-germany-a-heartstoppingly-adorable-experience/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/ridiculously-cute2.jpgridiculously-cuteFeel that pressure in your chest? That's a cuteness heart attack you're having there, pussy.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/ridiculously-cute1.jpgridiculously-cutehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/zombie-dog-beagle-halloween.jpgzombie-dog-beagle-halloweenThis is our beagle doing his best Walking Dead impression: "I don't think anyone wants to cuddle a zombie." -- Norman Reedushttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/sleeping-beagle-baby.jpgsleeping-beagle-babyHe fell asleep like this. He can sleep in any position, no matter how uncomfortable.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/ridiculously-cute.jpgridiculously-cutehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/ridiculously-cute-beagle-puppy.jpgridiculously-cute-beagle-puppyThere's our guy again. We're already hopelessly in love with him at this point. And he knows it.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/puppies-in-pen-cage-bars.jpgpuppies-in-pen-cage-barsEvery single one of these guys found a home. Beagles are magic. You know you want one too. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/painfully-cute-beagle-puppy.jpgpainfully-cute-beagle-puppyI'm tellin' you, this little guy could fall asleep on an airplane during a mid-air collision.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/newborn-beagle-puppy.jpgnewborn-beagle-puppyThat's our little guy, fresh out of the oven! His ears and eyes are still closed here, so he has no idea how freaky his new parents are going to be.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/mother-beagle-puppies-feeding-milk.jpgmother-beagle-puppies-feeding-milkBAM! 8 puppies, all tricolor. "Oh, genetic variables. You fickle bitch."2021-02-09T18:15:43+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/10/31/marijuana-in-amsterdam-gettin-high-as-f-in-the-greatest-city-in-the-universe/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/72-amsterdam-food-vending-machine.jpg72-amsterdam-food-vending-machinehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/71-amsterdam-de-ruyerkade-central-station-entrance.jpg71-amsterdam-de-ruyerkade-central-station-entrancehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/70-rijksmuseum-amsterdam.jpg70-rijksmuseum-amsterdamhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/69-vondelpark-amsterdam-fall-leaves.jpg69-vondelpark-amsterdam-fall-leaveshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/68-bird-park-amsterdam-vondelpark.jpg68-bird-park-amsterdam-vondelparkhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/67-vondelpark-amsterdam-bent-tree.jpg67-vondelpark-amsterdam-bent-treehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/66-vondelpark-amsterdam-trees.jpg66-vondelpark-amsterdam-treeshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/65-vondelpark-amsterdam.jpg65-vondelpark-amsterdamhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/64-white-old-man-baby-rijksmuseum-amsterdam.jpg64-white-old-man-baby-rijksmuseum-amsterdamhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/63-angry-baby-sculpture-rijksmuseum-amsterdam.jpg63-angry-baby-sculpture-rijksmuseum-amsterdam2016-10-26T13:01:07+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/11/17/the-top-10-worst-things-about-joining-a-gym-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/funny-sneakers-crazy-shoes-running-sport.jpgfunny-sneakers-crazy-shoes-running-sportPhoto Credit: SuperFantastic (https://www.flickr.com/photos/superfantastic/) -- Subject to copyright (CC BY 2.0)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/11-alone-at-the-gym-funny-working-out-fitness-lonely.jpg11-alone-at-the-gym-funny-working-out-fitness-lonelyPhoto Credit: Dr. Abdullah Naser (https://www.flickr.com/photos/abraj/) -- Subject to copyright (CC BY 2.0)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/10-naked-man-artistic-black-and-white-lonely-isolation-funny.jpg10-naked-man-artistic-black-and-white-lonely-isolation-funnyPhoto Credit: Eduardo Santos (https://www.flickr.com/photos/dusantos_bh/) -- Subject to copyright (CC BY 2.0)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/09-timed-shower-cold-water-funny-clown.jpg09-timed-shower-cold-water-funny-clownPhoto Credit: Amy Clarke (https://www.flickr.com/photos/amyelizabethplease/) -- Subject to copyright (CC BY 2.0)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/08-locker-room-empty-black-and-white-gym.jpg08-locker-room-empty-black-and-white-gymPhoto Credit: flattop341 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/flattop341/) -- Subject to copyright (CC BY 2.0)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/07-unintentional-homosexuality-homoerotic-funny-gym-lifting-weights.jpg07-unintentional-homosexuality-homoerotic-funny-gym-lifting-weightsPhoto Credit: istolethetv (https://www.flickr.com/photos/istolethetv/ -- Subject to copyright (CC BY 2.0)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/06-desert-dry-hot-lonely-huacachina-ica-peru.jpg06-desert-dry-hot-lonely-huacachina-ica-peruPhoto Credit: ilkerender (https://www.flickr.com/photos/ilker/) -- Subject to copyright (CC BY 2.0)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/05-gym-muscular-man-buff-ripped-protein-shake.jpg05-gym-muscular-man-buff-ripped-protein-shakePhoto Credit: Noodles and Beef (https://www.flickr.com/photos/ekigyuu/) -- Subject to copyright (CC BY 2.0)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/04-naked-man-hairy-funny-in-suitcase-old.jpg04-naked-man-hairy-funny-in-suitcase-oldPhoto Credit: Trevor Butcher (https://www.flickr.com/photos/27888428@N00/) -- Subject to copyright (CC BY 2.0)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/03-gym-night-time-spying-very-public-class.jpg03-gym-night-time-spying-very-public-classPhoto Credit: Mike_fleming (https://www.flickr.com/photos/flem007_uk/) -- Subject to copyright (CC BY 2.0)2020-01-30T16:50:49+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/03/14/i-married-a-german-woman-and-apparently-found-my-very-own-partner-in-crime/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/american-stereotype-carefree-woman-let-them-eat-cake1.jpgamerican-stereotype-carefree-woman-let-them-eat-cake"Let them eat cake. And eat cheeseburgers." -- Image Credit: Bob Doran (https://www.flickr.com/photos/humblog/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/uptight-german-nerd-in-business-suit-square.jpguptight-german-nerd-in-business-suit-square"Nein." -- Image Credit: Paul Stevenson (https://www.flickr.com/photos/pss/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/bonnie-and-clyde-costume-black-and-white-crime-couple.jpgBonnie-and-Clyde-Costume-Black-and-White-Crime-Couple"Wait a minute, honey... is this legal?" -- Image Credit: James Bond (https://www.flickr.com/photos/cheshyre/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2021-11-01T18:51:11+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/03/17/american-expat-in-germany-experiences-colossal-misunderstanding-at-the-dentist/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/rage-angry-lego-man-funny.jpgrage-angry-lego-man-funny"I will punch you right in the cookies." -- Photo by Bill Ward (http://www.flickr.com/photos/billward/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/confused-man-funny-nerd-dad.jpgconfused-man-funny-nerd-dad"Sharp objects in my mouth? What could go wrong?" -- Photo by jonny goldstein (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jonnygoldstein/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/funny-dentist-braces-picture.jpgfunny-dentist-braces-picture"Wait, what's happening? I just came here to pick up my dry cleaning!" -- Photo by Zdenko Zivkovic (http://www.flickr.com/photos/zivkovic/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/hillbilly-teeth-funny-git-er-done-kid.jpghillbilly-teeth-funny-git-er-done-kid -- Photo by {just jennifer} (http://www.flickr.com/photos/justjennifer/)2018-02-05T18:03:54+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/10/17/prostitution-in-amsterdam-misadventures-in-the-worlds-most-famous-red-light-district/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/15-amsterdam-canal-fall.jpg15-amsterdam-canal-fallhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/11-bicycle-in-amsterdam-romantic-beautiful.jpg11-bicycle-in-amsterdam-romantic-beautifulhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/09-amsterdam-canal-summer.jpg09-amsterdam-canal-summerhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/59-open-public-urinal-amsterdam-red-light-district.jpg59-open-public-urinal-amsterdam-red-light-districthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/58-amsterdam-red-light-district-occupied-curtains-closed.jpg58-amsterdam-red-light-district-occupied-curtains-closedhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/46-amsterdam-red-light-district-at-night.jpg46-amsterdam-red-light-district-at-nighthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/45-amsterdam-red-light-district-river.jpg45-amsterdam-red-light-district-riverhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/44-amsterdam-red-light-district-canal.jpg44-amsterdam-red-light-district-canalhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/02-dim-sum-now-ferdinand-bolstraat-36-amsterdam.jpg02-dim-sum-now-ferdinand-bolstraat-36-amsterdamHeh heh, I actually took this one in the bathroom of a Dim Sum restaurant, but I thought it was applicable. 2016-10-18T09:49:16+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/10/10/wtf-google-perplexing-search-engine-terms-to-attract-blog-readers/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/face-palm-computer-desk-funny-blogger.jpgface-palm-computer-desk-funny-blogger"Some things cannot be unseen." -- (Image Credit: Incase [https://www.flickr.com/photos/goincase/] CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/24-funny-wordpress-google-search-terms1.jpg24-funny-wordpress-google-search-termshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/23-funny-wordpress-google-search-terms1.jpg23-funny-wordpress-google-search-termshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/22-funny-wordpress-google-search-terms1.jpg22-funny-wordpress-google-search-termshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/21-funny-wordpress-google-search-terms1.jpg21-funny-wordpress-google-search-termshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/20-funny-wordpress-google-search-terms1.jpg20-funny-wordpress-google-search-termshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/19-funny-wordpress-google-search-terms1.jpg19-funny-wordpress-google-search-termshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/18-funny-wordpress-google-search-terms1.jpg18-funny-wordpress-google-search-termshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/17-funny-wordpress-google-search-terms1.jpg17-funny-wordpress-google-search-termshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/16-funny-wordpress-google-search-terms1.jpg16-funny-wordpress-google-search-terms2016-10-11T14:04:25+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/08/when-the-stars-align-a-morning-straight-out-of-german-hell/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/german-devil-hell-evil.jpggerman-devil-hell-evil(Image Source: gags9999 [https://www.flickr.com/photos/gags9999/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2016-10-08T16:49:04+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/10/03/to-swear-or-not-to-swear-that-is-the-fing-question/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/swearing-cussing-bad-words-censorship-blogging.jpgswearing-cussing-bad-words-censorship-blogging(Image Credit: Bill Smith [https://www.flickr.com/photos/byzantiumbooks/] Cropped and adjusted for color. Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2016-10-08T17:42:59+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/09/26/relax-you-nerds-reassurance-for-freelancers-and-self-employed-expats-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/freelance-graphic-designer-in-germany-self-employed-jobs.jpgfreelance-graphic-designer-in-germany-self-employed-jobs(Image Credit: bark [https://www.flickr.com/photos/barkbud/] -- Text and Effects Added -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.)2017-04-18T17:29:32+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/09/19/buying-a-dog-in-germany-uncomfortable-things-to-know-before-die-welpen-grow/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/dog-balls-scrotum-nutsack-bollocks-hund.jpgdog-balls-scrotum-nutsack-bollocks-hundGerman Style: "Yeeeaaah, you like them ringin' bells, doncha bitch." (Image Credit: andy muir [https://www.flickr.com/photos/37589005@N04/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/funny-dog-lipstick-kiss-on-butt.giffunny-dog-lipstick-kiss-on-buttAmerican Style: "I thought we were friends. Not cool, man." (Image Credit: Beverly [https://www.flickr.com/photos/walkadog/] -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/french-bulldog-brown-face-funny.jpgfrench-bulldog-brown-face-funny"Bwah haw haw! Funny every time." -- (Image Credit: Matt Wunderle [https://www.flickr.com/photos/wunderle/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/vizsla-older-gray-face-dog-old-brown.jpgvizsla-older-gray-face-dog-old-brown"Oh, are you all done, you little sex offender?" -- (Image Credit: Tjerk Zweers [https://www.flickr.com/photos/1000zen/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.) https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/sleeping-beagle-baby.jpgsleeping-beagle-babyHe was so chilled out he actually fell asleep like this.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/male-and-female-beagles.jpgmale-and-female-beagleshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/beagle-puppy-tri-color.jpgbeagle-puppy-tri-color"Dude, could you please just let me sleep?"https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/beagle-puppies-4-weeks-old.jpgbeagle-puppies-4-weeks-oldAfter feeding, they all lapsed into a milk coma. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/beagle-litter-puppies-feeding-from-mother.jpgbeagle-litter-puppies-feeding-from-motherFeeding time! Doesn't the mother look just thrilled?https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/beagle-in-germany.jpgbeagle-in-germany2019-07-23T00:07:43+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/09/05/regional-trains-in-germany-a-love-letter-to-the-metronoms-ruhe-wagen/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/metronom-regional-train-germany-travel.jpgMetronom-Regional-Train-Germany-Travelhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/metronom-regional-train-table-hannover1.jpgMetronom-Regional-Train-Table-Hannoverhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/metronom-regional-train-side-hannover1.jpgMetronom-Regional-Train-Side-Hannoverhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/metronom-regional-train-door-hannover1.jpgMetronom-Regional-Train-Door-Hannoverhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/metronom-regional-train-table-hannover.jpgMetronom-Regional-Train-Table-Hannoverhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/metronom-regional-train-side-hannover.jpgMetronom-Regional-Train-Side-Hannoverhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/metronom-regional-train-door-hannover.jpgMetronom-Regional-Train-Door-Hannover2016-09-09T03:55:12+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/08/19/denglish-87-my-german-wife-explains-why-she-has-such-perfect-teeth/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/funny-white-good-american-teeth.jpgfunny-white-good-american-teeth"Oh God, you've blistered my retinas..." -- Image courtesy of Aaron Wallis (http://www.flickr.com/photos/corey_azza/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/funny-bad-horse-teeth.jpgfunny-bad-horse-teeth"Say cheese! ...you nasty motherf***er..." -- Image courtesy of Aaron McIntyre (http://www.flickr.com/photos/aaronmcintyre/)2016-09-05T10:25:50+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/08/10/seeking-a-change-of-scenery-my-german-wife-orders-tickets-for-the-phantom-of-the-opera-in-hamburg-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/phantom-of-the-opera-hamburg-neue-flora-theater.jpgPhantom-of-the-Opera-Hamburg-Neue-Flora-Theaterhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/phantom-of-the-opera-art-sculpture-statue.jpgPhantom-of-the-Opera-Art-Sculpture-Statue2016-09-05T10:10:58+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/05/02/culture-shock-and-still-more-things-that-suck-about-living-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/huge-german-flag-house.jpghuge-german-flag-houseImage Credit: Erich Ferdinand (https://www.flickr.com/photos/erix/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/american-usa-mowing-lawn-flag1.jpgamerican-usa-mowing-lawn-flagImage Credit: Tony Alter (https://www.flickr.com/photos/78428166@N00/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/germans-are-afraid-of-cold.jpggermans-are-afraid-of-coldImage Credit: the italian voice (https://www.flickr.com/photos/desiitaly/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/german-radio-station.jpggerman-radio-stationImage Credit: Martin Krolikowski (https://www.flickr.com/photos/martinkrolikowski/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/german-sparkasse-tan-generator.jpggerman-sparkasse-tan-generatorImage Credit: Justus Blümer (https://www.flickr.com/photos/justusbluemer/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/horse-blinders.jpghorse-blindersImage Credit: Emilio Labrador (https://www.flickr.com/photos/3059349393/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/deutschepost-german-mailbox.jpgdeutschepost-german-mailboxImage Credit: J. Triepke (https://www.flickr.com/photos/piro007/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2018-07-09T02:01:20+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/08/15/dead-man-in-the-road-a-perilous-vacation-on-the-big-island-of-hawaii/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/car-accident-big-island-hawaii-highway-19-2016.jpgcar-accident-big-island-hawaii-highway-19-2016"Aloha."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/train-monorail-hilton-waikoloa-village.jpgtrain-monorail-hilton-waikoloa-villageThis Hilton has it's own train, which circles the entire property every 15 minutes. (And a boat too, which does the exact same thing, only slower.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/snorkeling-hawaii.jpgsnorkeling-hawaiiHere we are, snorkeling just a few yards away from the monument. We took a tour aboard the Fair Wind II, which has two slides on the back. I went down one of the slides headfirst with my arms at my sides, wiggling and barking like a seal to amuse the kids. It was not so amusing when I crashed face-first into the water following a 10-foot drop.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/snake-art-sculpture-hilton-waikoloa-village.jpgsnake-art-sculpture-hilton-waikoloa-villageEvery morning, I made sure to tap this evil snake god on the forehead for evil luck. (Which is the exact same thing as bad luck, only your enemies are the ones who suffer.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/scary-art-sculpture-hilton-waikoloa-village.jpgscary-art-sculpture-hilton-waikoloa-village"Hey kids! Chick out this cute-but-slightly-haunting doll right before you go to bed!"https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/overpriced-beer-in-hawaii.jpgoverpriced-beer-in-hawaiiI should not have been surprised: a cup of drip coffee at Hilton Waikoloa Village was like $12, and a large burrito was $20. Not kidding.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/overpriced-beer-in-hawaii-bud-light.jpgoverpriced-beer-in-hawaii-bud-lightThis is just one of a dozen little stores at the resort. And yes, you read that right: $3.99 each. Not per 6-pack... EACH.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/mount-adams-flyover-closeup.jpgmount-adams-flyover-closeupThis is Mt. Adams in Washington State. Technically I took this picture while my wife and I were flying back to Germany, but screw it; let's just pretend it was part of the Hawaii trip.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/kona-international-airport.jpgkona-international-airportThere's the Kona International Airport. Everything is outdoors -- even baggage claim -- so you really get that "strip mall" feeling as you leave paradise. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/hilton-waikoloa-village-view.jpghilton-waikoloa-village-viewWe stayed at the Hilton Waikoloa Village. It was pretty awesome, but it was also OBSCENELY expensive. Jesus' Tits.2016-09-18T11:05:50+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/guests/a-germans-first-time-in-britain-by-dan-walker/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/british-english-flags-london-royal-wedding.jpgBritish-English-Flags-London-Royal-Wedding"Welcome to hell, Tim!" (Image Credit: Ian Patterson [https://www.flickr.com/photos/ianpatterson/] Subject to CC 2.0 License.) https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/img_1154.jpgimg_1154It just didn’t stop…https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/img_1148.jpgimg_1148Thank God David had a brolly!2016-08-31T15:08:56+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/06/04/denglish-61-the-german-weighs-in-on-american-desserts/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/voodoo-doughnut-box-portland-oregon-donuts.jpgVoodoo-Doughnut-Box-Portland-Oregon-Donuts"You got the 'Beetus?" -- Image Credit: Michael (a.k.a. moik) McCullough (https://www.flickr.com/photos/ex_magician/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2016-08-26T13:38:10+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/12/02/denglish-93-my-german-wife-struggles-to-organize-a-traditional-swiss-raclette-dinner/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/traditional-swiss-raclette-cheese-melted-dinner1.jpgtraditional-swiss-raclette-cheese-melted-dinner"Honey, this melted cheese is so good I want to rub it all over my nipples." -- Photo by Yusuke Kawasaki (http://www.flickr.com/photos/u-suke/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/traditional-swiss-raclette-cheese-melted-dinner.jpgtraditional-swiss-raclette-cheese-melted-dinner"This is SO worth the inevitable heart attack." -- Photo by jespahjoy (http://www.flickr.com/photos/francapicc/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/raclette-evening-dinner-table-top-grill-traditional-swiss-food.jpgraclette-evening-dinner-table-top-grill-traditional-swiss-foodless this meal and the inevitable heart failure it causes." -- Photo by Vasile Cotovanu (http://www.flickr.com/photos/vasile23/)2016-08-26T13:24:26+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/12/09/denglish-94-my-german-wife-explains-the-optimal-weather-conditions-for-seasonal-allergy-attacks/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/sneezing-fit-funny-pollen-allergy-season.jpgsneezing-fit-funny-pollen-allergy-season -- Photo by Adam Wise (http://www.flickr.com/photos/adammichaelwise/)2016-08-26T13:23:28+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/08/22/how-to-satisfy-your-hunger-in-germany-with-cheese/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/german-cheese-groom-funny-germany.jpggerman-cheese-groom-funny-germany"God help me, I'll never eat again." -- Image Credit: Kate Ter Haar (https://www.flickr.com/photos/katerha/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2017-07-05T18:33:32+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/11/23/the-empire-riverside-hotel-in-hamburg-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/sweating-woman-german-sauna-steam-spa.jpgsweating-woman-german-sauna-steam-spahttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/steam-bath-room-funny-geyser-national-park.jpgsteam-bath-room-funny-geyser-national-park"Ha ha ha! I have no idea what I'm doing!" -- Image Credit: Chris Feser (https://www.flickr.com/photos/feserc/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/empire-riverside-hotel-hamburg-germany-skyline-bar-20upc2a9.jpgEmpire-Riverside-Hotel-Hamburg-Germany-SKYLINE-BAR-20up©Image Credit: Empire Riverside Hotel. All rights reserved.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/empire-riverside-hotel-hamburg-germany-night-view-aussenansichtc2a9.jpgEmpire-Riverside-Hotel-Hamburg-Germany-Night-View-Aussenansicht©Image Credit: Empire Riverside Hotel. All rights reserved.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/empire-riverside-hotel-hamburg-germany-lobby_von_obenc2a9andreaflak.jpgLobby, Totale HFImage Credit: Empire Riverside Hotel, Copyright: Andrea Flak (http://andreaflak.de/). All rights reserved.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/southwest-view-of-elbe-river-from-empire-riverside-hotel-hamburg-germany.jpgSouthwest-view-of-Elbe-River-from-Empire-Riverside-Hotel-Hamburg-Germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/southeast-wiew-of-elbe-river-from-empire-riverside-hotel-hamburg-germany.jpgSoutheast-wiew-of-Elbe-River-from-Empire-Riverside-Hotel-Hamburg-Germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/shipping-dock-hamburg-germany.jpgShipping-Dock-Hamburg-Germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/shipping-containers-in-hamburg-germany.jpgShipping-Containers-in-Hamburg-Germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/sailboat-on-elbe-river-hamburg-germany.jpgSailboat-on-Elbe-River-Hamburg-Germany2016-08-15T10:09:42+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/08/08/pictures-of-hawaii-an-interesting-vacation-on-the-big-island/2016-08-18T17:55:15+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/07/22/denglish-85-my-wife-reveals-a-uniquely-german-expression-for-beverages-of-extremely-high-alcohol-content/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/strong-portland-microbrew-beer.jpgstrong-portland-microbrew-beer-- Image Credit Sergio Ruiz (https://www.flickr.com/photos/sirgious/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/cute-funny-wedding-proposal-engagement-ring-squirrel.jpgcute-funny-wedding-proposal-engagement-ring-squirrelI don't kid around about squirrels.2016-08-02T07:43:55+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/10/28/germans-like-scratchy-towels/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/german-towel-scratchy-cultural-differences.jpgGerman-Towel-Scratchy-Cultural-Differences"I'm gonna dry you so hard..." -- Image Credit: Missy Meyer (https://www.flickr.com/photos/missymeyer/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. 2016-08-02T07:33:46+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/08/01/lost-luggage-an-american-blogger-returns-to-germany-without-his-suitcase/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/schiphol-airport-baggage-claim.jpgSchiphol-Airport-Baggage-Claim"Hey honey, guess who's washing their undies in the sink tonight!" -- Image Credit: Kevin Gessner (https://www.flickr.com/photos/kevingessner/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2016-08-25T19:27:35+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/07/25/panicking-to-meet-your-deadline-how-one-blogger-manages-to-half-ass-it-yet-again/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/img_8308.jpgIMG_8308... but we were joined by a pair of lovely dolphins! Everybody loves dolphins, right? Did you know dolphin males will team up to trap a female and then gang rape the shit out of her? http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/animals-can-be-giant-jerks/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/img_8307.jpgIMG_8307Here's some dude cutting up a big fish. This was not our fish and we were given none of it. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/img_8306.jpgIMG_8306Here we are, returning to the dock empty handed. Way to go, "Captain."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/img_8303.jpgIMG_8303Deep sea fishing yo! We went out at the crack of dawn and got back in the evening. You know what we caught? NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/img_8180.jpgIMG_8180Here are some lazy-ass stray cats. They were all over the hotel, just basking in the glory of paradise all day long; lickin' asses and chasin' tails -- what a life.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/img_8179.jpgIMG_8179Back in PDX! We returned to Portland on a flight with Alaskan Airlines. I'll never understand the relationship between Alaska and Hawaii. I've been to both places, and they're pretty much exact opposites.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/img_8173.jpgIMG_8173We saw this Tesla charging at the Woodburn Outlet Mall. So awesome. I wish I could recharge my batteries with just a simple plug up my ass.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/img_8172.jpgIMG_8172Here we are at the Pittock Mansion above Forest Park. Pretty crazy to see Mt. Hood after so long.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/img_8145.jpgIMG_8145I remember precious little at this point, but that little tiki man would not stop staring at me.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/img_8143.jpgIMG_8143Here's a tiki bar we hit up called "Hale Pele."2016-08-02T10:42:19+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/07/18/funny-and-stupid-whatsapp-messages-from-germany-part-ii/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/whatsapp-messenger-icon-logo-germany.jpgWhatsApp-Messenger-Icon-Logo-Germany-- Image Credit: Álvaro Ibáñez (https://www.flickr.com/photos/alvy/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-18.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-18https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-17.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-17https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-16.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-16https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-15.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-15https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-14.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-14https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-131.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-13https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-121.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-12https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-111.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-11https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-101.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-102016-07-25T06:10:55+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/07/11/funny-and-stupid-whatsapp-messages-from-germany-part-i/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-091.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-09https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-081.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-08https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-071.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-07https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-061.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-06https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-051.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-05https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-041.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-04https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-031.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-03https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-021.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-02https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-011.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-01https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/funny-whatsapp-messages-germany-001.pngFunny-WhatsApp-Messages-Germany-002016-07-12T08:08:47+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/07/04/enjoying-the-4th-of-july-in-the-usa-with-brewdoggs-and-t-mobile/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/4th-of-july-usa-sparklers-independence-day.jpg4th-of-july-usa-sparklers-independence-day-- Image Credit: Eli Christman (https://www.flickr.com/photos/gammaman/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/t-mobile-automated-messages-funny-screenshots-21.jpgt-mobile-automated-messages-funny-screenshots-2https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/t-mobile-automated-messages-funny-screenshots-11.jpgt-mobile-automated-messages-funny-screenshots-1https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/t-mobile-automated-messages-funny-screenshots-2.jpgt-mobile-automated-messages-funny-screenshots-2https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/t-mobile-automated-messages-funny-screenshots-1.jpgt-mobile-automated-messages-funny-screenshots-12016-07-05T17:57:05+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/06/27/funny-and-bizarre-google-search-engine-terms-used-to-find-our-blog-part-iii/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/funny-computer-nerd-laptop-search-history-browser-germany.jpgfunny-computer-nerd-laptop-search-history-browser-germany"Yesss, show me your naughty bits..." -- Image Credit: Shane Adams (https://www.flickr.com/photos/ishane/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-41.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-41https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-40.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-40https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-39.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-39https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-38.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-38https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-37.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-37https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-36.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-36https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-35.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-35https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-34.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-34https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-33.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-332016-08-18T17:56:06+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/06/20/funny-and-bizarre-google-search-engine-terms-used-to-find-our-blog-part-ii/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/nerd-computer-omg-google-search-history-terms.jpgnerd-computer-omg-google-search-history-terms"What in the HELL..." -- Image Credit: William Brawley (https://www.flickr.com/photos/williambrawley/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-051.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-05https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-20.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-20https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-19.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-19https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-18.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-18https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-17.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-17https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-16.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-16https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-15.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-15https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-14.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-14https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/search-engine-terms-part-i-13.jpgSearch-Engine-Terms-Part-I-132016-06-26T14:05:37+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/08/17/the-top-10-funniest-and-most-bizarre-google-search-engine-terms-used-to-find-our-blog/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/funniest-google-search-engine-terms-nerd-at-computer.jpgfunniest-google-search-engine-terms-nerd-at-computerImage Credit: Libelul (https://www.flickr.com/photos/libelul60/) Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/all-time-funniest-google-search-engine-terms.jpgAll-Time-Funniest-Google-Search-Engine-Termshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/funniest-google-search-engine-terms-20.jpgFunniest-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-20https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/funniest-google-search-engine-terms-19.jpgFunniest-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-19https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/funniest-google-search-engine-terms-18.jpgFunniest-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-18https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/funniest-google-search-engine-terms-17.jpgFunniest-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-17https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/funniest-google-search-engine-terms-16.jpgFunniest-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-16https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/funniest-google-search-engine-terms-15.jpgFunniest-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-15https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/funniest-google-search-engine-terms-14.jpgFunniest-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-14https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/funniest-google-search-engine-terms-13.jpgFunniest-Google-Search-Engine-Terms-132017-06-16T13:11:35+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/06/13/travel-highlights-in-germany-madame-butterfly-at-the-staatstheater-in-wiesbaden/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/madame-butterfly-pinkerton.jpgMadame-Butterfly-Pinkerton"Oh yeah, like you didn't know." -- Image Credit: S B (https://www.flickr.com/photos/sarahbaker/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/madame-butterfly-ciocio-san.jpgMadame-Butterfly-Ciocio-san"I don't know what you're saying." -- Image Credit: S B (https://www.flickr.com/photos/sarahbaker/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/wiesbaden-hbf-main-train-station1.jpgWiesbaden-hbf-main-train-stationhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/wiesbaden-hbf-exterior-building1.jpgWiesbaden-hbf-exterior-buildinghttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/steaming-sculpture-wiesbaden1.jpgsteaming-sculpture-wiesbadenhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/staatstheater-wiesbaden-ceiling1.jpgStaatstheater-Wiesbaden-ceilinghttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/staatstheater-in-wiesbaden1.jpgStaatstheater-in-Wiesbadenhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/staatstheater-in-wiesbaden-at-night1.jpgStaatstheater-in-Wiesbaden-at-nighthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/opera-house-rococo-ceiling-weisbaden1.jpgOpera-house-Rococo-ceiling-weisbadenhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/opera-house-rococo-ceiling-weisbaden-painting1.jpgOpera-house-Rococo-ceiling-weisbaden-painting2016-09-24T17:22:57+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/03/07/living-in-germany-the-joys-and-sorrows-of-life-without-a-car/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/halloween-doll-with-sound-scary-baby-prank.jpghalloween-doll-with-sound-scary-baby-prank"Willkommen zu Hause, motherfucker!"https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/scaring-my-wife-halloween-doll-prank.jpgscaring-my-wife-halloween-doll-prankhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/cycling-in-the-rain-in-germany-bike.jpgcycling-in-the-rain-in-germany-bike"Check out my sweet ZEV. (That's zero-emissions vehicle, to the layperson)." -- Image Credit: Markus Goller (https://www.flickr.com/photos/markusgoller/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/halloween-doll-with-sound-scary-baby.jpghalloween-doll-with-sound-scary-baby"Willkommen zu Hause, motherfucker!"https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/ghost-baby-haunted-doll-with-sound.jpgghost-baby-haunted-doll-with-soundhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/horrifying-zombie-baby-halloween-doll.jpghorrifying-zombie-baby-halloween-dollhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/bike-trailer-buggy-stroller-germany.jpgbike-trailer-buggy-stroller-germanyMeet 'Ghost Baby.'2016-06-08T15:24:57+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/09/14/how-to-horrify-an-american-with-one-easy-german-expression/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/scary-horrified-german-funny-man.jpgScary-Horrified-German-Funny-Man2016-06-06T10:59:57+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/06/06/travel-expressions-from-germany-how-to-say-living-in-the-lap-of-luxury/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/luxury-vacation-fairmont-hotel-vier-jahreszeiten-alster-lake-hamburg-germany.jpgluxury-vacation-Fairmont-Hotel-Vier-Jahreszeiten-Alster-Lake-Hamburg-Germany"I am a spoiled man-child." -- Image Credit: www.GlynLowe.com (https://www.flickr.com/photos/glynlowe/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2016-09-06T17:15:46+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/05/30/hilarious-german-proverbs-part-v/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/telling-joke-secret-funny-german-couple.jpgtelling-joke-secret-funny-german-couple -- Image Credit: Boudewijn Berends (https://www.flickr.com/photos/boudewijnberends/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2016-07-04T01:52:30+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/04/22/culture-shock-10-american-man-speaks-with-prostitute-in-hamburg-germany/2023-06-17T12:17:24+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/05/23/german-expressions-how-to-describe-a-really-good-friend/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/best-friends-bff-women-hugging-germany.jpgbest-friends-bff-women-hugging-germany-- Image Credit: eflon (https://www.flickr.com/photos/eflon/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2016-05-29T08:59:25+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/03/30/a-writers-dream-fulfilled-the-day-i-met-patrick-rothfuss-at-the-leipzig-book-fair/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/the-name-of-the-wind-cook-cover-2.jpgthe-name-of-the-wind-cook-cover-2Feel the power, nerds. Feel it...https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/white-socks-with-jeans-dark-pants-fashion-fupa.jpgwhite-socks-with-jeans-dark-pants-fashion-fupaLet it be known, I wore white socks with jeans that day.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/patrick-rothfuss-at-the-leipzig-book-fair-leipsiger-messe-04.jpgPatrick-Rothfuss-at-the-Leipzig-Book-Fair-Leipsiger-Messe-04The man. The myth. The legend.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/patrick-rothfuss-at-the-leipzig-book-fair-leipsiger-messe-03.jpgPatrick-Rothfuss-at-the-Leipzig-Book-Fair-Leipsiger-Messe-03My wife walked right up to him and snapped this shot. She has no fear.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/patrick-rothfuss-at-the-leipzig-book-fair-leipsiger-messe-02.jpgPatrick-Rothfuss-at-the-Leipzig-Book-Fair-Leipsiger-Messe-02German efficiency. (Though Pat is American.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/patrick-rothfuss-at-the-leipzig-book-fair-leipsiger-messe-01.jpgPatrick-Rothfuss-at-the-Leipzig-Book-Fair-Leipsiger-Messe-01At the moment this picture was taken, Pat was looking me right in the eyes. "Eeeep!"https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/leipzig-book-fair-leipsiger-messe.jpgLeipzig-Book-Fair-Leipsiger-MesseSo many nerds you could see the condensation on the glass.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/leipzig-book-fair-leipsiger-messe-main-hall.jpgLeipzig-Book-Fair-Leipsiger-Messe-Main-HallThese are my people.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/leipzig-book-fair-leipsiger-messe-main-entrance.jpgLeipzig-Book-Fair-Leipsiger-Messe-Main-EntranceMain entrance to the Messe. This is why you want to purchase tickets ahead of time.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/leipzig-book-fair-leipsiger-messe-halle-2-schulbucher.jpgLeipzig-Book-Fair-Leipsiger-Messe-Halle-2-schulbucherThis is the hall where all the nerd teachers hang out. 2016-05-20T14:30:31+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/07/27/why-american-expats-like-me-should-never-become-english-teachers-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/bad-student-teacher-grades-classroom-funny.jpgbad-student-teacher-grades-classroom-funny-- Image Credit: Patrick Bell (https://www.flickr.com/photos/druidicparadise/) - Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/german-english-language-editing-schwarzwalder-kirschtorte-black-forest-cake-recipe-funny.jpgGerman-English-Language-Editing-Schwarzwalder-Kirschtorte-Black-Forest-Cake-Recipe-Funny2017-10-11T16:18:11+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/12/31/video-how-to-destroy-american-electrical-appliances-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/german-electrical-outlet-power-adapter.jpggerman-electrical-outlet-power-adapter"Now that ain't look right at all..." -- Image Credit: Alex Harden (https://www.flickr.com/photos/aharden/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. 2016-05-08T12:02:31+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/02/18/culture-shock-8-how-to-out-yourself-as-an-american-in-germany-in-2-seconds-or-less/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/american-tourist-in-germany-taking-picture.jpgAmerican Tourist in Germany"Oh yeah, you blend..." -- Image Credit: Antoine K (https://www.flickr.com/photos/ktoine/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License2016-05-08T12:01:12+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/05/09/hilarious-german-proverbs-part-iv/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/telling-secret-gossip-germany-proverbs.jpgBusiness Secrets News-- Image Credit: Aqua Mechanical (https://www.flickr.com/photos/aquamech-utah/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. 2016-06-03T04:08:03+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/04/25/german-expressions-how-to-say-i-really-dont-feel-like-working-today/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/skeleton-at-desk-german-expressions.jpgskeleton-at-desk-german-expressionsImage Credit: Damien du Toit (https://www.flickr.com/photos/coda/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. 2016-06-07T10:29:42+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/05/06/culture-shock-11-american-man-blindsided-by-spring-allergies-in-hannover-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/bee-covered-in-pollen-flower-germany.jpgbee-covered-in-pollen-flower-germanyWelcome to pollen-country, where noses run like rivers and the sneezes are free. -- Photo by Lennart Tange (http://www.flickr.com/photos/lennartt/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/sneezing-photo-sneeze-caught-isolated-funny-german.jpgsneezing-photo-sneeze-caught-isolated-funny-german-- Photo by Inf-Lite Teacher (http://www.flickr.com/photos/87328375@N06/)2016-08-23T15:40:56+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/10/21/german-american-couple-stumbles-into-bizarre-performance-at-the-staatstheater-in-hannover-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/screen-shot-2016-04-19-at-8-21-32-pm.pngStaatstheater Hannover2016-04-19T18:31:27+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/04/18/hilarious-german-proverbs-part-iii/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/dont-speak-shush-finger-mouth-woman.jpgdont-speak-shush-finger-mouth-woman"Loose lips sink ships." -- Image Credit: Fx6Ex6 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/jeanyunjean/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2021-08-10T13:34:39+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/04/11/explore-germany-on-the-intercity-express-train-ice-high-speed-travel-entitled-ambiance-and-lethal-luxury/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/ice-train-high-speed-germany-travel-db-03-edit.jpgICE-Train-High-Speed-Germany-Travel-DB-03-EDIT-- Image Credit: Roderick Eime (https://www.flickr.com/photos/rodeime/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2016-04-16T10:12:50+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/12/14/dr-tomatolove-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-loathing-and-love-the-tomato/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/i-hate-tomatoes-flipping-off-middle-finger-tomato.jpgi-hate-tomatoes-flipping-off-middle-finger-tomatohttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/tomato-close-up-cherry-health.jpgtomato-close-up-cherry-healthhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/new-blossoming-tomato-plant1.jpgnew-blossoming-tomato-planthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/home-grown-vegetables-homestead-garden-germany1.jpghome-grown-vegetables-homestead-garden-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/german-tomato-plant-garden1.jpggerman-tomato-plant-garden2016-04-11T12:49:20+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/03/24/becoming-a-permanent-resident-of-germany-6-tips-for-american-citizens-with-german-spouses/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/marriage-certificate-german-american-funny-stories.jpgmarriage-certificate-german-american-funny-stories"That's right. You sign that filthy little contract..." -- Photo by Mike Goren (http://www.flickr.com/photos/celebdu/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/immigration-line-london-heathrow-t4-arrivals.jpgimmigration-line-london-heathrow-T4-arrivals"Have you ever seen that movie 28 Days Later?" -- Photo by Mark Hillary (http://www.flickr.com/photos/markhillary/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/health-insurance-dental-funny.jpghealth-insurance-dental-funny"Here comes your communist root canal!" -- Photo by Conor Lawless (http://www.flickr.com/photos/conchur/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/grief-bacon-german-translation-funny-english-overeating.jpggrief-bacon-german-translation-funny-english-overeating"Fatty pork products can help ease the stress as you begin your expat journey." -- Photo by Stacey Cavanagh (http://www.flickr.com/photos/staceycav/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/german-language-class-integration-course-international.jpggerman-language-class-integration-course-international"There are 16 articles in the German language. Who's up for some ritual suicide?" -- Photo by Shane global (http://www.flickr.com/photos/shaneglobal/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/german-flag-artistic-funny-glorious.jpggerman-flag-artistic-funny-glorioushttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/dont-panic-hitchhikers-smart-iphone-guide-to-the-galaxy.jpgdon't-panic-hitchhikers-smart-iphone-guide-to-the-galaxy“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy -- Photo by Johan Larsson (http://www.flickr.com/photos/johanl/)2021-03-08T20:16:23+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/01/19/false-friends-15-examples-how-the-german-language-is-trying-to-kill-you/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/false-friends-german-english-language-words-vocabulary1.jpgfalse-friends-german-english-language-words-vocabulary"Oh yeah, those are the exact same thing." -- Photo Credit: Kirby Kerr (https://www.flickr.com/photos/rotofugi/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 license. Hue and contrast edited.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/false-friends-german-english-language-words-vocabulary.jpgfalse-friends-german-english-language-words-vocabulary"Oh yeah, those are the exact same thing." -- Photo Credit: Kirby Kerr (https://www.flickr.com/photos/rotofugi/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 license.2017-04-01T19:23:39+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/09/22/american-expat-in-germany-nearly-killed-by-an-acorn-vents-his-shame-upon-the-biggest-spider-in-the-universe/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/german-acorns-close-up.jpggerman-acorns-close-uphttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/oak-trees-in-germany.jpgoak-trees-in-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/giant-spider-in-germany-with-euro-coin.jpggiant-spider-in-germany-with-euro-coinhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/big-spider-in-germany-with-1-euro-coin.jpgbig-spider-in-germany-with-1-euro-coinhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/acorns-on-the-ground-in-germany.jpgacorns-on-the-ground-in-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/acorns-and-a-bike-tire-in-germany.jpgacorns-and-a-bike-tire-in-germany2016-04-11T12:43:03+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/04/04/hilarious-german-proverbs-part-ii/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/dont-speak-hush-secret-woman-with-hand-over-mouth1.jpgdont-speak-hush-secret-woman-with-hand-over-mouth"Silence is golden." -- Image Credit: Gustavo Devito (https://www.flickr.com/photos/devitogustavo/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2016-05-02T16:21:31+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/03/28/highest-paying-jobs-in-germany-whos-making-bank-in-the-land-of-poets-and-thinkers/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/frankfurt-night-skyline-downtown-richest-city-in-germany.jpgfrankfurt-night-skyline-downtown-richest-city-in-germany"How much will you pay me to drink this glass of river water right now?" -- Image Credit: Kiefer. (https://www.flickr.com/photos/xingxiyang/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2016-04-06T13:01:17+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/03/21/hilarious-german-proverbs-part-i/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/hush-dont-speak-finger-to-lips-woman-german-proverbs.jpghush-dont-speak-finger-to-lips-woman-german-proverbs"A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing." -- Image Credit: LaVladina (https://www.flickr.com/photos/danielavladimirova/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2017-11-12T16:03:20+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/10/20/internations-an-american-expat-answers-questions-about-living-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/american-tourist-in-berlin-germany-flag-kiss.jpgamerican-tourist-in-berlin-germany-flag-kissImage Credit: Andreas Lehner (https://www.flickr.com/photos/lehnin78/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/internations-logo.pnginternations-logo2017-07-03T15:22:21+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/02/29/awesome-german-expressions-how-to-say-once-bitten-twice-shy/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/german-shepherd-police-security-dog-biting-twice-shy.jpggerman-shepherd-police-security-dog-biting-twice-shy"Ow. Ow. Hey, let's do this again sometime!" -- Image Credit: SLO Coast Dogs In The Fast Lane (https://www.flickr.com/photos/ehaug/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/heckmeck-pickomino-german-board-dice-domino-game.jpgHeckmeck-Pickomino-German-Board-Dice-Domino-Game2016-03-01T08:59:30+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/02/16/the-top-10-weirdest-german-foods-i-have-learned-to-love/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/speck-lardo-german-pork-fat-1.jpgspeck-lardo-german-pork-fat-1https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/zungenwurst-tongue-sausage-german-food.jpgzungenwurst-tongue-sausage-german-foodhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/zungenwurst-tongue-sausage-german-food-deli.jpgzungenwurst-tongue-sausage-german-food-delihttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/wiener-wurstchen-jarred-sausage-hot-dogs.jpgwiener-wurstchen-jarred-sausage-hot-dogshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/weltmeisterbrotchen-seedy-german-bread-roll.jpgweltmeisterbrotchen-seedy-german-bread-rollhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/sulze-paprika-and-schweinkopf-german-food.jpgsulze-paprika-and-schweinkopf-german-foodhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/schinken-teewurst-cured-spreadable-german-meat-food.jpgSchinken-Teewurst-cured-spreadable-german-meat-foodhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/prosciutto-italiano-salumeo-german-food-2.jpgprosciutto-italiano-salumeo-german-food-2https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/mettwurst-schinken-paprika-german-food.jpgmettwurst-schinken-paprika-german-foodhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/krauter-griebenschmalz-fat-german-lard.jpgkrauter-griebenschmalz-fat-german-lard2024-01-30T01:18:59+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/07/08/culture-shock-14-even-more-things-that-suck-about-living-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/train-cabin-funny-creepy-guy-europe-germany.jpgtrain-cabin-funny-creepy-guy-europe-germany"Dude, we've been sitting together for 8 hours. Let's just share the juice box." -- Image courtesy of Bonita de Boerhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/munich-germany-metro-map-ubahn-confusing-funny.jpgmunich-germany-metro-map-ubahn-confusing-funny"Take your next right and then just give the hell up." -- Image courtesy of Mike (http://www.flickr.com/photos/mccaffry/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/walk-signal-germany-crossing-street-on-red-light.jpgwalk-signal-germany-crossing-street-on-red-light"We're not from around here!" -- Image courtesy of Niels Heidenreich (http://www.flickr.com/photos/schoschie/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/red-german-squirrel-funny-horns.jpgred-german-squirrel-funny-horns"She said, 'Hey, wanna talk?' and I'm like, 'Yo, what up, I got ears like Spock." -- Image courtesy of Tony Hisgett (http://www.flickr.com/photos/hisgett/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/merica-funny-patriotic-stars-and-stripes-american-flag-costume.jpg'merica-funny-patriotic-stars-and-stripes-american-flag-costume"I'M HERE, GERMANY -- LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED." -- Image courtesy of Joseph Novak (http://www.flickr.com/photos/josephleenovak/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/angela-merkel-get-back-to-work-germany-funny.jpgAngela-Merkel-get-back-to-work-germany-funnyThe vacation is over. -- Image courtesy of Duncan Hull (http://www.flickr.com/photos/dullhunk/)2025-06-05T12:24:06+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/01/07/culture-shock-6-five-more-things-that-suck-about-living-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/german-soccer-fans-flag-crowd-germany.jpggerman-soccer-fans-flag-crowd-germany"Go sports team! Score that goal! Make that touchdown! I mean, wait..." -- Photo Credit: Stewart (https://www.flickr.com/photos/stewied/) -- Image subject to Attribution 2.0 Generic License2017-06-26T15:45:57+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/12/24/culture-shock-5-five-things-that-suck-about-living-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/berlin-germany-american-flag-soldier-parliament-building.jpgberlin-germany-american-flag-soldier-parliament-building -- Photo Credit: Bruce Tuten (https://www.flickr.com/photos/savannahgrandfather/) -- Image subject to CC Attribution 2.0 Generic License2017-03-09T22:04:18+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/02/15/awesome-german-expressions-how-to-say-you-cant-take-it-with-you-when-you-die/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/the-last-shirt-has-no-pockets-german-expression-flag.jpgthe-last-shirt-has-no-pockets-german-expression-flag"I want to be buried with this German flag lodged firmly betwixt my buns." -- Image Credit: momentcaptured1 (https://www.flickr.com/photos/pat_ossa/) Subject to CC 2.0 License.2016-03-05T07:21:24+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/02/08/the-weirdest-google-search-engine-terms-used-by-an-american-blogger-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/moving-to-germany-was-not-a-mistake.jpgmoving-to-germany-was-not-a-mistakehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/these-baptists-are-stupid-stupid-stupid.jpgthese-baptists-are-stupid-stupid-stupidhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/why-do-i-always-feel-like-im-sitting-on-my-balls1.jpgwhy-do-i-always-feel-like-i'm-sitting-on-my-ballshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/donald-trumps-health-problems-yes-please1.jpgdonald-trumps-health-problems-yes-pleasehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/is-the-german-nsa-watching-me.jpgis-the-german-NSA-watching-mehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/bernie-sanders-and-hillary-clinton-tongue-kissing.jpgbernie-sanders-and-hillary-clinton-tongue-kissinghttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/who-is-america-going-to-invade-next.jpgwho-is-america-going-to-invade-nexthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/movine-to-germany-was-not-a-mistake.jpgmovine-to-germany-was-not-a-mistakehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/german-food-is-going-to-give-me-a-heart-attack.jpggerman-food-is-going-to-give-me-a-heart-attackhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/how-much-sriracha-sauce-is-too-much.jpghow-much-sriracha-sauce-is-too-much2016-02-16T11:51:04+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/02/01/sleeping-tips-how-threats-of-domestic-violence-can-help-you-get-a-good-nights-sleep/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/joys-of-marriage-funny-couple-fighting.jpgjoys-of-marriage-funny-couple-fighting"C'mere honey. You need your rest." -- Image Credit: frankieleon (https://www.flickr.com/photos/armydre2008/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2016-02-26T08:35:37+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/01/25/marijuana-in-germany-know-the-vernacular-before-you-accidentally-start-growing-the-reefer/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/marijuana-cannabis-leaf-in-germany-law.jpgmarijuana-cannabis-leaf-in-germany-lawImage Credit: DonkeyHotey (https://www.flickr.com/photos/donkeyhotey/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 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2016-01-08 at 2.50.41 PMhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/oh-god-my-wife-is-german-40000-followers-ribbon.pngOh-God-My-Wife-Is-German-40000-Followers-Ribbon2016-01-19T07:24:37+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2016/01/04/10-activities-a-man-cannot-perform-while-retaining-any-semblance-of-masculinity/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/ugly-crocks-funny-feet.jpgugly-crocks-funny-feetImage Credit: Peter Dutton (https://www.flickr.com/photos/joeshlabotnik/) -- Subject to CC 2.0.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/man-walking-small-dog-funny.jpgman-walking-small-dog-funnyImage Credit: FaceMePLS (https://www.flickr.com/photos/faceme/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/hipster-picking-berries-farmer.jpghipster-picking-berries-farmerImage Credit: David, Bergin, Emmett and Elliott (https://www.flickr.com/photos/beglen/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/men-eating-using-silverware-knife-and-fork.jpgmen-eating-using-silverware-knife-and-forkImage Credit: sean_hickin (https://www.flickr.com/photos/sean_hickin/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/man-drinking-wine-champagne-glass.jpgman-drinking-wine-champagne-glassImage Credit: David, Bergin, Emmett and Elliott (https://www.flickr.com/photos/beglen/) -- Subject to CC 2.0.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/nerd-riding-bibycle-berlin-germany.jpgnerd-riding-bibycle-berlin-germanyImage Credit: Alper Çuğun (https://www.flickr.com/photos/alper/) -- Subject to CC 2.0.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/man-wearing-backpack-in-the-city.jpgman-wearing-backpack-in-the-cityImage Credit: FaceMePLS (https://www.flickr.com/photos/faceme/) -- Subject to CC 2.0.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/man-drinking-through-a-straw.jpgman-drinking-through-a-strawImage Credit: Bradley Gordon (https://www.flickr.com/photos/icanchangethisright/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/huge-giant-big-ice-cream-cones.jpghuge-giant-big-ice-cream-conesImage Credit: Rachel Kramer (https://www.flickr.com/photos/rkramer62/) -- Subject to CC 2.0.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/man-eating-ice-cream-and-wearing-backpack.jpgIce Lolly By A WallImage Credit: Garry Knight (https://www.flickr.com/photos/garryknight/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2016-01-21T07:11:50+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/12/28/gardening-in-germany-when-your-rhododendrons-wont-bloom-for-lack-of-testicular-fortitude/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/planting-rhododendrons-in-germany.jpgPlanting-Rhododendrons-in-Germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/planting-growing-baby-rhododendrons-germany.jpgPlanting-Growing-Baby-Rhododendrons-Germany2016-01-04T16:30:48+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/12/21/fish-allergy-facts-why-i-can-eat-tuna-without-dying-according-to-my-german-wife-who-is-not-a-doctor/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/swollen-fat-lipallergic-reaction.jpgswollen-fat-lip-allergic-reaction-- Image Credit: Kate Brady (https://www.flickr.com/photos/cliche/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Licensehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/tuna-fish-sandwich-photography.jpgtuna-fish-sandwich-photographyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/planked-alaskan-salmon-and-asparagus-dinner-delicious-fish.jpgPlanked Alaskan salmon and asparagushttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/fish-allergy-tuna-school-sea.jpgfish-allergy-tuna-school-sea2021-05-28T04:21:57+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/12/07/funny-german-expressions-always-carry-a-little-money-so-you-dont-look-like-a-bum/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/broke-poor-empty-pockets-funny-germany.jpgbroke-poor-empty-pockets-funny-germany-- Image Credit: Dan Moyle (https://www.flickr.com/photos/danmoyle/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/hand-holding-euros-with-magnifying-glass-german-money.jpghand-holding-euros-with-magnifying-glass-german-money-- Image Credit: Images Money (TaxRebate.org.uk) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2022-07-16T12:03:39+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/11/30/funny-german-expressions-how-to-say-something-makes-a-lot-of-sense/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/learning-german-confused-man-with-puzzle-pieces-fit-together.jpglearning-german-confused-man-with-puzzle-pieces-fit-together"Wait, this doesn't make any sense at all..." -- Image Credit -- David Goehring (https://www.flickr.com/photos/carbonnyc/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License2016-01-03T07:29:29+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/11/16/violent-arachnophobia-my-german-wife-kills-the-biggest-spider-ever/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/american-silver-dollar-size-comparison-1880.jpgAmerican-Silver-Dollar-Size-Comparison-1880"Who even carries these anymore?" -- Image Credit: PhotoAtelier (https://www.flickr.com/photos/glenbledsoe/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/german-spider-oh-god-my-wife-is-german.jpgGerman-Spider-Oh-God-My-Wife-Is-German"Hello Satan. I knew you'd come for me one day."2016-07-07T20:02:52+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/11/02/sexy-plato-my-german-wife-on-teaching-philosophy-to-10th-graders/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/plato-ancient-greek-philosopher-statue-bust-sculpture.jpgPlato-Ancient-Greek-Philosopher-Statue-Bust-Sculpture-- Photo Credit: aaron wolpert (https://www.flickr.com/photos/aaron_wolpert/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License2015-11-06T17:13:16+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/10/26/the-weather-in-germany-watching-the-seasons-change-with-the-davis-hill-weather-stick/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/the-davis-hill-weather-stick-card-front.jpgThe-Davis-Hill-Weather-Stick-Card-Fronthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/the-davis-hill-weather-stick-card-back.jpgThe-Davis-Hill-Weather-Stick-Card-Backhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/the-davis-hill-weather-stick-cover-photo-2.jpgThe-Davis-Hill-Weather-Stick-Cover-Photo-2https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/the-davis-hill-weather-stick-cover-photo-1.jpgThe-Davis-Hill-Weather-Stick- GermanyTHE WIFE: "Take it down. It looks like a penis."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/the-davis-hill-weather-stick-animation-ogmwig-germany.gifThe-Davis-Hill-Weather-Stick-Animation-OGMWIG-Germany2019-03-04T04:53:02+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/10/19/adac-helicopter-lands-right-in-the-middle-of-peine-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/adac-helicopter-lands-in-peine-germany-2015.jpgADAC-Helicopter-Lands-in-Peine-Germany-2015"ADAC: Just landing wherever the hell they feel like it."2016-04-02T07:06:17+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/10/12/the-hanseatic-city-of-lubeck-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/img_4821.pngLübeck, Germany2015-10-13T08:47:21+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/10/05/barcelona-spain-the-city-of-counts-gaudi-and-catalonia/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/img_4269-0.jpgIMG_4269-0"Dude, this Goudy character has this city by the BALLS."2015-10-17T07:30:34+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/07/13/the-top-5-weirdly-specific-totally-irrational-fears-and-phobias-of-an-american-expat-living-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/sitting-with-back-to-the-door-phobia.jpgsitting-with-back-to-the-door-phobia"Someone is sneaking up behind me. I KNOW it." -- Image Credit: Ralph Daily (https://www.flickr.com/photos/ralphandjenny/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/fat-penis-funny-gummy-germany-peehole.jpgfat-penis-funny-gummy-germany-peehole"Things way flow out, but never in." -- Image Credit: Marc Diego (https://www.flickr.com/photos/132739655@N07/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/drunk-teenagers-boys-party-funny.jpgdrunk-teenagers-boys-party-funny"We cannot be hurt. We cannot die. We are the end of all that is good and decent in this world." -- Image Credit: fakeyoursmile (https://www.flickr.com/photos/fakeyoursmile/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/drano-drain-cleaner-pipe-unclog.jpgdrano-drain-cleaner-pipe-unclog"Pictured: The burning tears of Satan" -- Image Credit: Mike Mozart (https://www.flickr.com/photos/jeepersmedia/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/cute-pit-bulls-in-funny-costumes.jpgcute-pit-bulls-in-funny-costumes"Ah, classic: Adorable innocence masking violent blood lust." -- Image Credit: Pets Adviser (petsadviser.com) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/crazy-mad-scientist-nerd-funny-lab.jpgcrazy-mad-scientist-nerd-funny-lab"...and THIS is why I am totally insane!" -- Image Credit: Okko Pyykkö (https://www.flickr.com/photos/data_op/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2015-09-21T15:13:23+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/09/21/5-more-weirdly-specific-totally-irrational-fears-and-phobias-of-an-american-expat-living-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/scared-man-face-of-fear-phobia-funny1.jpgscared-man-face-of-fear-phobia-funnyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/crowd-of-people-germany-german-people-funny-concert-lorelei1.jpgcrowd-of-people-germany-german-people-funny-concert-Lorelei.jpgImage Credit: Stéphane Gallay (https://www.flickr.com/photos/isa_lias/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/st-basil-cathedral-red-square-moscow-russia-funny.jpgSt-Basil-Cathedral-Red-Square-Moscow-Russia-FunnyImage Credit: Brandon (https://www.flickr.com/photos/bpprice/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/skyline-things-falling-from-the-sky-funny-fear-phobia.jpgskyline-things-falling-from-the-sky-funny-fear-phobiaImage Credit: Crysis Rubel (https://www.flickr.com/photos/crysisrubel/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/eye-drops-applying-phobia-fear-funny.pngeye-drops-applying-phobia-fear-funnyImage Credit: National Eye Institute (https://www.flickr.com/photos/nationaleyeinstitute/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/doorknob-scary-dramatic-fear-phobia-funny.jpgdoorknob-scary-dramatic-fear-phobia-funnyImage Credit: r. nial bradshaw (https://www.flickr.com/photos/zionfiction/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2016-02-08T07:25:18+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/09/07/autumn-in-germany-a-time-of-pumpkins-spiders-and-unintentionally-hilarious-german-women/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/fall-in-germany-autumn-herbst-castle-lake.jpgFall-in-Germany-Autumn-Herbst-Castle-Lake"Beautiful and cold, just like the people." -- Image Credit: Bert Kaufmann (https://www.flickr.com/photos/22746515@N02/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Licensehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/german-pumpkins-kurbis-gardening-harvest.jpggerman-pumpkins-kurbis-gardening-harvest2015-09-16T22:09:14+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/08/31/dropping-trow-my-german-wife-destroys-yet-another-classic-form-of-american-slang/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/dropping-trou-trow-rainbow-trout-fish-funny1.jpgdropping-trou-trow-rainbow-trout-fish-funny"Nailed it." -- Image Credit: Bugeater (https://www.flickr.com/photos/bugeaters/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License. Cropped from original.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/drop-trow-sitting-on-toilet-pooping.jpgdrop-trow-sitting-on-toilet-poopingImage Credit: Joseph Choi (https://www.flickr.com/photos/josephers/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2023-04-30T23:09:57+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/08/24/the-bletchley-circle-my-german-wife-identifies-the-murderer-then-promptly-insults-him/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/creepy-skull-bletchley-circle-serial-killer.jpgcreepy-skull-bletchley-circle-serial-killerImage Credit: David Russo (https://www.flickr.com/photos/daverusso88/) -- Subject to CC Generic 2.0 License.2017-11-08T19:03:03+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/08/03/best-whatsapp-messages-the-top-18-funniest-messages-between-an-american-expat-and-his-german-wife/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/whatsapp-instant-messenger-logo-smart-phone-hand.jpgwhatsapp-instant-messenger-logo-smart-phone-hand-- Image Credit: downloadsource.fr (https://www.flickr.com/photos/downloadsourcefr/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/funniest-whatsapp-messages-ogm-18.pngFunniest-WhatsApp-Messages-OGM-18https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/funniest-whatsapp-messages-ogm-17.pngFunniest-WhatsApp-Messages-OGM-17https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/funniest-whatsapp-messages-ogm-16.pngFunniest-WhatsApp-Messages-OGM-16https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/funniest-whatsapp-messages-ogm-15.pngFunniest-WhatsApp-Messages-OGM-15https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/funniest-whatsapp-messages-ogm-14.pngFunniest-WhatsApp-Messages-OGM-14https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/funniest-whatsapp-messages-ogm-13.pngFunniest-WhatsApp-Messages-OGM-13https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/funniest-whatsapp-messages-ogm-12.pngFunniest-WhatsApp-Messages-OGM-12https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/funniest-whatsapp-messages-ogm-11.pngFunniest-WhatsApp-Messages-OGM-11https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/funniest-whatsapp-messages-ogm-10.pngFunniest-WhatsApp-Messages-OGM-102015-08-10T17:43:25+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/07/20/why-popular-sports-drinks-fail-to-impress-my-german-wife-after-a-good-workout-at-the-gym/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/gatorade-vs-water-evian-sports-drinks-bottle.jpggatorade-vs-water-evian-sports-drinks-bottle -- Image Credit: Anna Hirsch (https://www.flickr.com/photos/antigone/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2015-07-23T02:06:16+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/07/06/ungrateful-little-shits-what-its-like-to-plan-a-field-trip-for-teenage-students-in-hannover-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/graphic-designer-portland-hannover-germany-oh-god-my-wife-is-german.jpgGraphic-Designer-Portland-Hannover-Germany-Oh-God-My-Wife-Is-Germanhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/german-teens-kids-students-teenagers-in-germany.jpggerman-teens-kids-students-teenagers-in-germany-- Image Credit: Philipp (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mapled/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 License.2015-07-20T16:14:30+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/06/29/how-one-american-expat-celebrates-the-4th-of-july-outside-the-united-states/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/parcelhero-logo-oh-god-my-wife-is-german.pngParcelHero-Logo-Oh-God-My-Wife-Is-German2015-07-20T16:15:58+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/06/22/fashion-tips-from-my-german-wife-choosing-the-perfect-tie-for-any-occasion/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/bad-suit-and-tie-funny-fashion.jpgbad-suit-and-tie-funny-fashion"Honey, I love you, but you dress like a blind man." -- Image Credit: bark (https://www.flickr.com/photos/barkbud/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Generic Copyright.2015-06-22T19:53:06+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/06/15/learn-to-love-your-thighs-american-expat-ruins-a-perfectly-good-day-at-the-beach/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/perfect-beach-body-hot-redhead-swimsuit.jpgperfect-beach-body-hot-redhead-swimsuit"Does this swimsuit make me look like a fat, disgusting whale?" -- Image Credit: Frank Kovalchek (https://www.flickr.com/photos/72213316@N00/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Generic Copyright.2015-06-15T18:04:19+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/06/08/twitching-eyelid-american-expat-in-germany-suffers-two-months-of-ocular-mortification/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/folgers-instant-coffee-jars-cans.jpgFolgers-Instant-Coffee-Jars-Cansstophttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/twitching-eyelid-spasm-eye-funny-pictures.jpgTwitching-Eyelid-Spasm-Eye-Funny-Pictures2016-05-22T15:44:17+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/06/01/expat-life-in-germany-taking-day-trips-to-hamburg/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/hamburg-germany-harbor-with-faxe-beer.jpgHamburg-Germany-Harbor-with-Faxe-Beer"Danish beer at the Hamburg Harbor? Clearly we are going to hell."2015-06-15T19:55:28+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/05/25/visiting-konya-pictures-and-videos-from-our-trip-to-turkey/2015-06-02T06:30:19+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/05/18/discovering-konya-turkey-the-top-10-preconceived-notions-dislodged-from-my-american-brain/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/075c-mevlana-mosque-men-praying-islam-muslim.jpg075C-mevlana-mosque-men-praying-islam-muslimhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/075b-mevlana-mosque-muslim-women-praying-hijab.jpg075B-mevlana-mosque-muslim-women-praying-hijabhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/muslim-couple-woman-wearing-hijab-headscarf-veil.jpgmuslim-couple-woman-wearing-hijab-headscarf-veilImage Credit: HENG FU MING (https://www.flickr.com/photos/58362996@N04/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Generic Copyrighthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/turkey-map-globe-transparent-background-middle-east.pngturkey-map-globe-transparent-background-middle-eastImage Credit: The Emirr (http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:The_Emirr) -- Subject to CC 3.0 Unported Copyright.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/100-tesekkur-ederim-turkish-for-thank-you-translation.jpg100-tesekkur-ederim-turkish-for-thank-you-translationThank you, Konya. We will see you again soon.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/099-turkish-airlines-planes-airport.jpg099-turkish-airlines-planes-airportYou know what's crazy? Just before our flight home, a Turkish Airlines plane performed an emergency landing with a burned-out engine and destroyed landing gear, which delayed our flight by 3 hours. Some people were stranded overnight. (But I had no idea -- I was asleep the entire time. My wife said it sucked though.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/098-white-robes-for-ihram-umrah-pilgrimage-mecca.jpg098-white-robes-for-ihram-umrah-pilgrimage-meccaOhhhhh, that's Ihram (Ahram clothing), which includes men's and women's garments worn by Muslim people during the Ihram pilgrimage (Hajj) and or (umrah). These dudes were headed home after their religious journey to Mecca.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/097-ihram-white-robes-umrah-pilgrimage-mecca-istanbul-airport.jpg097-ihram-white-robes-umrah-pilgrimage-mecca-istanbul-airportHello again, Istanbul Airport. Wait, what's with the bathrobes, you guys?https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/096-konya-mosque-at-sunset-turkey.jpg096-konya-mosque-at-sunset-turkeyGoodbye, Konya. We will miss you.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/095-ayran-yogurt-drink-kule-sini-restaurant-konya.jpg095-ayran-yogurt-drink-Kule-Sini-Restaurant-KonyaThis is ayran again. After a couple hits to the tonsils, you'll learn to love it like a porn star: "Get ready for the money shot!"2015-10-02T14:35:37+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/05/11/death-dying-and-impermanence-an-american-expat-and-his-german-wife-tackle-lifes-biggest-questions/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/woman-holding-the-universe-planets-hands.jpgwoman-holding-the-universe-planets-hands"What does it all mean, mein Schatz?" -- Image Credit: Cristina L. F. (https://www.flickr.com/photos/xanetia/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Generic copyright.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/the-solar-system-orbits-planets-sun.jpgthe-solar-system-orbits-planets-sun"Don't touch the big one, kids. It's hot." -- Image Credit: Image Editor (https://www.flickr.com/photos/11304375@N07/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Generic copyright.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/red-giant-star-sun-exploding.jpgred-giant-star-sun-exploding"You mean this WILL happen, but just not right now? Oh, that's totally fine then." -- Image Credit: Maxwell Hamilton (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mualphachi/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Generic copyright.2015-05-13T06:00:51+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/05/04/moving-from-an-apartment-to-a-house-in-hannover-germany-my-german-wife-exemplifies-the-classiest-exit-strategy-possible/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/moving-to-germany-house-apartment-hannover.jpgmoving-to-germany-house-apartment-hannover"We've upgraded our living conditions SO hard." -- Photo Credit: Sharon & Nikki McCutcheon (https://www.flickr.com/photos/payitforwardphotos/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Generic Copyright2015-05-14T12:44:29+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/11/25/denglish-92-my-german-wife-is-a-huge-fan-of-hbos-a-game-of-thrones/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/daenerys-targaryen-a-game-of-thrones-digital-painting-hbo.jpgDaenerys-Targaryen-A-Game-of-Thrones-Digital-Painting-HBOAnybody else sportin' dork-chub right about now? -- Image by Sabrina Krilic (http://www.flickr.com/photos/skartistic/)2015-05-05T11:10:38+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/04/27/the-german-accent-aint-no-place-for-the-english-t-h/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/english-th-sound-tongue-between-teeth-german.jpgenglish-th-sound-tongue-between-teeth-german"You just put your lips together and... blow." -- Image Credit: tiffany terry (https://www.flickr.com/photos/35168673@N03/) -- Subject to CC Generic 2.0 Copyright.2015-05-14T12:58:29+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/04/20/an-american-expat-and-his-german-wife-take-a-spring-break-trip-to-portland-oregon/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/16-mount-tabor-view-of-portland1.jpg16-mount-tabor-view-of-portlandhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/31-hannover-germany-potatoes-kartoffeln-roots-funny.jpg31-hannover-germany-potatoes-kartoffeln-roots-funnyThe morning after we got home, we discovered some potatoes we'd apparently neglected for some time. Clearly they are growing into some sort of superorganism. I named it, "Spudward: Eater of Worlds."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/30-amsterdam-schiphol-airport-two-incredible-sitting-black-snowmen.jpg30-amsterdam-schiphol-airport-two-incredible-sitting-black-snowmenYou thought I just made that up, didn't you.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/29-amsterdam-airport-schiphol-sculpture-sitting-snowmen.jpg29-amsterdam-airport-schiphol-sculpture-sitting-snowmenThis is a sculpture you can see at the Schiphol airport in Amsterdam. It's called, "Two incredible sitting black snowmen."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/28-arial-view-portland-oregon-airplane-flying.jpg28-arial-view-portland-oregon-airplane-flyingThis was the view from the plane as we departed my beloved city. (Just before I doped myself stupid with Xanax and passed the fuck out.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/27-keep-portland-weird-pin-button.jpg27-keep-portland-weird-pin-buttonYou've seen this slogan before. Apparently, we jacked it from Austin, Texas.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/26-made-in-oregon-bag-logo-portland.jpg26-made-in-oregon-bag-logo-portlandMade in Oregon, yo -- just like me! (Oh my God that's gross.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/25-pdx-portland-international-airport-carpet.jpg25-pdx-portland-international-airport-carpetThis is the hideous carpet at the Portland Airport. It's super old and they're going to replace it soon, so everyone is taking pictures of it before it's gone. I'm the one doing the "cowboy" stance.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/24-freemont-bridge-northbound-portland-oregon.jpg24-freemont-bridge-northbound-portland-oregonHere we are, sitting on the Freemont Bridge during rush hour. Because my wife is German and her accent refuses to accept a hard J sound, she would call this a "traffic yam."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/23-i-love-lucy-live-on-stage-portland-oregon.jpg23-i-love-lucy-live-on-stage-portland-oregonWe also caught a performance of I Love Lucy Live on Stage, at the Keller Auditorium. It was EXACTLY like watching a rerun of the original show, so... wait, why did we do this again?2015-04-27T21:09:26+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/04/06/pruney-fingers-my-german-wife-explains-why-you-should-get-out-of-the-bathtub/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/pruned-wrinkled-pruney-fingers-hand-gross.jpgpruned-wrinkled-pruney-fingers-hand-gross"Dear God in Heaven, what does it MEAN??" -- Photo Credit: SuperFantastic (https://www.flickr.com/photos/superfantastic/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Generic Copyright.2015-04-19T18:58:20+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/03/23/what-its-like-for-an-american-expat-to-watch-das-perfekte-dinner-with-his-german-wife/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/seared-ahi-das-perfekte-dinner-german-tv.jpgseared-ahi-das-perfekte-dinner-german-tv-- Image Credit: vmiramontes (https://www.flickr.com/photos/vmiramontes/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Generic Copyright.2015-04-06T11:47:29+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/03/16/when-your-german-wife-makes-more-money-than-you-lessons-from-an-american-expat-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/successful-business-woman-powerful-beautiful-beach.jpgsuccessful-business-woman-powerful-beautiful-beach"It's not a contest, Dear." -- Photo Credit: Vladimir Pustovit (https://www.flickr.com/photos/pustovit/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Copyright.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/successful-business-woman-laptop-suit-powerful-beautiful.jpgsuccessful-business-woman-laptop-suit-powerful-beautiful"It's not a contest, Dear." -- Photo Credit: Search Engine People Blog (https://www.flickr.com/photos/sepblog/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Copyright.2015-04-12T07:15:54+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/03/09/unsolicited-marriage-advice-from-an-american-expat-be-a-good-listener-and-your-german-spouse-will-thank-you/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/ear-diagram-drawing-offenes-ohr-german.jpgear-diagram-drawing-offenes-Ohr-germanImage Credit: Sue Clark (https://www.flickr.com/photos/perpetualplum/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Copyright.2015-03-18T07:45:32+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/03/02/the-perfect-latte-macchiato-my-german-wifes-top-10-attempts-to-make-this-elusive-coffee-beverage/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/tchibo-milk-foamer-milchschaumer.jpgtchibo-milk-foamer-milchschaumerhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/perfect-latte-macchiato-10.jpgPerfect-Latte-Macchiato-10https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/perfect-latte-macchiato-9.jpgPerfect-Latte-Macchiato-9https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/perfect-latte-macchiato-8.jpgPerfect-Latte-Macchiato-8https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/perfect-latte-macchiato-7.jpgPerfect-Latte-Macchiato-7https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/perfect-latte-macchiato-6.jpgPerfect-Latte-Macchiato-6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/perfect-latte-macchiato-5.jpgPerfect-Latte-Macchiato-5https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/perfect-latte-macchiato-4.jpgPerfect-Latte-Macchiato-4https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/perfect-latte-macchiato-3.jpgPerfect-Latte-Macchiato-3https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/perfect-latte-macchiato-2.jpgPerfect-Latte-Macchiato-22015-06-17T12:22:58+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/02/23/north-vs-south-where-to-choose-a-job-in-germany-using-your-gastrointestinal-instincts/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/funny-german-food-rosinen-raisins-sandwich-kyzen.jpgfunny-german-food-Rosinen-raisins-sandwich-kyzenPhoto Credit: Niels Heidenreich (https://www.flickr.com/photos/schoschie/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 Generic Copyright.2015-10-28T19:59:41+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/02/09/how-to-evade-a-guilt-trip-as-demonstrated-by-my-lovely-german-wife/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/super-wife-funny-couple-flexing-woman.jpgsuper-wife-funny-couple-flexing-womanPhoto Credit: Trevor Butcher (https://www.flickr.com/photos/27888428@N00/) -- Subject to CC 2.0 license. (Image adjusted for color and contrast.)2015-02-16T14:58:27+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/06/23/my-german-wife-somehow-equates-past-grieviances-with-the-making-of-a-sandwich/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/funny-toast-smiley-face-bread-sandwich-mayonnaise.jpgfunny-toast-smiley-face-bread-sandwich-mayonnaise"Never forget." -- Photo by Renzelle Mae Abasolo - Subject to copyright -- (https://www.flickr.com/photos/maehabasolo/)2017-11-21T19:04:19+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/02/02/my-german-wife-mocks-the-award-winning-movie-life-of-pi/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/life-of-pie-movie-poster.jpglife of pi movie posterMoral of the story? Tigers are dicks. -- Photo Credit: diginmag (https://www.flickr.com/photos/diginmag/) -- © Cindy Maram/Dig In Magazine -- Image subject to CC 2.0 license.2015-02-10T13:23:22+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/01/26/my-german-wife-rips-on-an-ugly-american-celebrity/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/ugly-american-actor-zombie-german.jpgugly-american-actor-zombie-germanPhoto Credit: Bill Oberst Jr. (https://www.flickr.com/photos/billoberstjr/) -- Image subject to CC 2.0 copyright.2015-02-07T13:50:42+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/01/12/a-year-in-review-american-expat-in-germany-looks-back-at-blogging-in-2014/2015-01-19T08:27:56+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2015/01/05/my-german-wife-promises-beer-then-crushes-all-my-beery-dreams/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/bavarium-hannover-biergarten-beer-garden-restaurant.jpgbavarium-hannover-biergarten-beer-garden-restaurantThis sign is like a siren song for my eyeballs.2015-01-18T19:37:10+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/12/22/my-german-wife-puts-a-dead-cat-in-the-microwave/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/leschi-warming-pillow-wrapped-in-towel.jpgleschi-warming-pillow-wrapped-in-towelhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/leschi-warming-pillow-warmekissen-new-in-box-minina-cat-katze.jpgleschi-warming-pillow-warmekissen-new-in-box-minina-cat-katzehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/leschi-warming-pillow-warmekissen-black.jpgleschi-warming-pillow-warmekissen-blackhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/leschi-warming-pillow-in-microwave.jpgleschi-warming-pillow-in-microwavehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/leschi-warming-pillow-in-microwave-with-towel.jpgleschi-warming-pillow-in-microwave-with-towel2015-01-08T14:16:49+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/12/29/my-german-wife-deals-with-referendariat-rage-aka-teacher-training-tantrums/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/screaming-woman-3-faces-moods-insanity-germany-referendariat-teacher.jpgscreaming-woman-3-faces-moods-insanity-germany-referendariat-teacher"Honey, it's going to be okay. Please don't spin your head around 360 degrees and blow vomit in my face." -- Photo Credit: Katie Tegtmeyer (https://www.flickr.com/photos/katietegtmeyer/) -- Image subject to CC 2.0 license2015-01-18T19:57:26+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/07/29/culture-shock-15-the-batshit-insane-ways-in-which-germans-tell-time-and-why-i-hate-them-for-it/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/funny-monkey-confused-thinking-headache-zoo.jpgfunny-monkey-confused-thinking-headache-zooPictured: American tourist in Germany immediately after asking for the time. -- Image courtesy of Beatnik Photos (http://www.flickr.com/photos/dharmabum1964/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/funny-headache-kid-sword-through-head.jpgfunny-headache-kid-sword-through-head"Just tell me the time, man. Don't church it up." -- Image courtesy of Wapster (http://www.flickr.com/photos/wapster/) - Subject to CC 2.0 Generic Licensehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/confusing-trippy-clock-time-hippy-german-24-hour-vs-12-hour.jpgconfusing-trippy-clock-time-hippy-german-24-hour-vs-12-hour"What time is it? Time to give up." -- Image courtesy of Richie Diesterheft http://www.flickr.com/photos/puroticorico/2023-12-05T13:31:35+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/12/08/halfwit-thieves-fail-to-steal-bicycle-from-an-american-expat-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/almost-stolen-bike-broken-off-dynamo-headlight.jpgalmost-stolen-bike-broken-off-dynamo-headlighthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/almost-stolen-bike-broken-off-bikestand.jpgalmost-stolen-bike-broken-off-bikestandhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/almost-stolen-bike-twisted-dynamo-headlight.jpgalmost-stolen-bike-twisted-dynamo-headlightA few days later, the mount snapped off, leaving the light to dangle against my front tire like an exhausted scrotum.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/holland-style-bike-dutch-ciy-cruising-bicycle.jpgholland-style-bike-dutch-ciy-cruising-bicycle"Wouldn't YOU rather steal this one?" -- Photo Credit: Umberto Brayj (https://www.flickr.com/photos/ubrayj02/) -- Image subject to copyright (CC BY 2.0)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/almost-stolen-bike-twisted-handlebars.jpgalmost-stolen-bike-twisted-handlebarshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/almost-stolen-bike-in-germany.jpgalmost-stolen-bike-in-germany"Oh, she looks harmless enough, but believe me; she's a widow-maker."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/almost-stolen-bike-in-deutschland.jpgalmost-stolen-bike-in-deutschlandThis is my ride. I call her, Susan B. Anarchy.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/almost-stolen-bike-broken-chain.jpgalmost-stolen-bike-broken-chainhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/almost-stolen-bike-broken-chain-closeup.jpgalmost-stolen-bike-broken-chain-closeuphttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/almost-stolen-bike-broken-bikestand.jpgalmost-stolen-bike-broken-bikestand2015-01-20T06:23:33+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/12/01/my-german-wife-reveals-her-maternal-intentions-with-a-single-horrifying-question/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/demon-baby-goblin-monster-funny-sculpture.jpgdemon-baby-goblin-monster-funny-sculpturePhoto Credit: Bernt Rostad (https://www.flickr.com/photos/brostad/) -- Image cropped from original and blurred -- Subject to copyright (CC Attribution 2.0 Generic)2014-12-02T05:10:21+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/04/15/pictures-expat-couple-visits-st-paulis-red-light-district-in-hamburg-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/20-shipyards-of-hamburg-germany.jpg20-shipyards-of-hamburg-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/15-st-pauli-redlight-district-prostitutes-no-women-hamburg.jpg15-st-pauli-redlight-district-prostitutes-no-women-hamburgThis is the entrance to the famous alley where you can -- no doubt about it -- pay your hard-earned money to slam the Black Forest ham. I actually went in and tried to take a picture, but one of the prostitutes opened her window and told me I wasn't allowed to do that. And seriously, just like Eve in the Garden of Eden, she was eating an apple. (And sitting there looking bored as hell, ready to just ruin shit for everybody.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/14-st-pauli-goldenfire-the-other-place-hamburg-germany.jpg14-st-pauli-goldenfire-the-other-place-hamburg-germanyMy wife told me people can DEFINITELY get horizontal in that building in the middle. I kept asking her if she could tell for sure. I wanted absolute proof, you see, because some part of my Puritanically rooted brain still struggles to accept the fact that prostitution is legal here. (Exactly the way God intended.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/13-police-in-red-light-district-hamburg-germany.jpg13-police-in-red-light-district-hamburg-germanyDie Polizei, sitting peacefully right in the middle of the Red Light District. I don't know why, but this picture warms my American heart.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/12-sexy-angel-store-red-light-district-hamburg-germany.jpg12-sexy-angel-store-red-light-district-hamburg-germanyLook at those crazy dildos. Are they for "him" or for "her?" I don't know! I feel like I just stumbled into Herpes Disneyland!https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/11-reeperbahn-street-in-hamburg-germany.jpg11-reeperbahn-street-in-hamburg-germanyAnd here's Reeperbahn street itself. Not too crazy during the daytime, but I could already smell the nasty promises coming off those heart-shaped neon signs.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/10-reeperbahn-street-sign-st-pauli-hamburg-germany.jpg10-reeperbahn-street-sign-st-pauli-hamburg-germanyThere's the Reeperbahn street sign, pointing us toward the Red Light District and all kinds of trouble. (Especially the kind of trouble where you're butt nekid.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/09-fischerhaus-pub-st-pauli-fischmarkt-14-hamburg-germany.jpg09-fischerhaus-pub-st-pauli-fischmarkt-14-hamburg-germanyThis was taken inside the Restaurant Fischerhaus. Look at that man. That is a large man. You could fit an entire American tourist inside him, plus his German wife, and still leave room for dessert.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/08-fischerhaus-restaurant-st-pauli-fischmarkt-14-hamburg-germany.jpg08-fischerhaus-restaurant-st-pauli-fischmarkt-14-hamburg-germanyI think we all knew this picture was coming: Brewdoggies at the famous Fischerhaus Restaurant. MAN it was cold that day. Even with a blanket on our laps, we didn't last too long outside. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/07-hamburg-shipping-cranes-and-docks.jpg07-hamburg-shipping-cranes-and-docksThis should be about the last picture of the shipyard cranes. Sorry. But now we all know where to go when we need to winterize our yachts, right? Right guys...?2015-10-28T20:21:22+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/11/24/german-american-couple-falls-in-love-with-the-city-of-bremen-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/51-universum-bremen-science-center-universum-bei-nacht-germany.jpg51-universum-bremen-science-center-Universum-bei-Nacht-germanyAnd there's the inside of the main Universum building. Isn't that just the coolest thing?!https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/50-universum-bremen-at-night-event.jpg50-universum-bremen-at-night-eventThere's the wave maker and a bunch of other water-oriented exhibits. (We made sure to get water ALL over the floor.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/49-bremen-science-museum-universum-spinning-disk.jpg49-bremen-science-museum-universum-spinning-diskThis was a magnetic disk that would spin faster and faster, louder and louder, making you strangely nervous until it stopped. NOT my favorite piece.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/48-universum-bremen-science-center-gears-exhibit-germany.jpg48-universum-bremen-science-center-gears-exhibit-germanyHere's some kind of gear exhibit. I think it rolled a penny around or something.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/47c-universum-bremen-dj-night-at-the-museum.jpg47c-universum-bremen-dj-night-at-the-museumLive music and a DJ! This science museum has it all!https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/47b-universum-bremen-science-center-building-germany.jpg47b-universum-bremen-science-center-building-germany...or a blimp. Or a submarine. Or a spaceship...https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/47a-universum-bremen-science-center-building-germany.jpg47a-universum-bremen-science-center-building-germanyNow here's a terrible photo of the main building of the museum. In daylight, it looks like a zeppelin. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/46-universum-bremen-science-center-sign-germany.jpg46-universum-bremen-science-center-sign-germanyHere's the sign pointing us toward the science museum! Gettin' excited all over again!https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/45-bremer-marktplatz-halloween-costumes-skeleton.jpg45-bremer-marktplatz-halloween-costumes-skeletonI have GOT to find that skeleton suit in man-size. I love it! (But why is the kid behind him deep-throating that microphone?)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/44-bremer-marktplatz-gedenke-der-bruder-tragen.jpg44-bremer-marktplatz-gedenke-der-bruder-tragenI guess that says, "Remember the brothers who hold the fate of our separation." My wife told me what this quote was all about, but I forgot.2014-12-03T16:17:09+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/11/10/my-german-wife-compares-me-to-a-feral-child-raised-in-the-jungle-by-apes/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/tarzan-swinging-from-vines-funny-fail.jpgtarzan-swinging-from-vines-funny-failPhoto Credit: BillBl (https://www.flickr.com/photos/billbliss/) -- 2 photos combined -- Both are subject to CC Attribution 2.0 Generic Copyright.2014-11-26T19:40:10+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/pictures-2/2014-mallorca-spain/2014-12-06T23:11:31+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/pictures-2/2013-hannover-steinhuder-meer/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/30-05-steinhuder-meer-bike-trail-corn-field-crop.jpg30-05-Steinhuder-Meer-Bike-Trail-Corn-Field-Crophttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/29-steinhuder-meer-bike-trail-to-restaurant.jpg29-Steinhuder-Meer-Bike-Trail-to-Restauranthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/28-steinhuder-meer-salzbergwerks-wunstorf-salt-mines.jpg28-Steinhuder-Meer-Salzbergwerks-Wunstorf-Salt-Mineshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/28-steinhuder-meer-der-kaliberg-des-salzbergwerks-sigmundhall-wunstorf-bokeloh.jpg28-Steinhuder-Meer-der-Kaliberg-des-Salzbergwerks-Sigmundhall-Wunstorf-Bokelohhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/27-steinhuder-meer-restaurant.jpg27-Steinhuder-Meer-Restauranthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/26-steinhuder-meer-walkway-park.jpg26-Steinhuder-Meer-Walkway-Parkhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/25-steinhuder-meer-radio-controlled-boat-sunset.jpg25-Steinhuder-Meer-Radio-Controlled-Boat-Sunsethttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/24-steinhuder-meer-eel-aal-brocc88tchen-sandwich.jpg24-Steinhuder-Meer-Eel-Aal-Brötchen-Sandwichhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/23-steinhuder-meer-metal-wind-sculpture-art.jpg23-Steinhuder-Meer-Metal-Wind-Sculpture-Arthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/22-steinhuder-meer-radio-controlled-boat-activities.jpg22-Steinhuder-Meer-Radio-Controlled-Boat-Activities2014-11-09T16:41:31+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/pictures-2/2013-hannover-maschseefest/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/11-2013-hannover-maschseefest-brauhaus-restaurants-north-side.jpg11-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Brauhaus-Restaurants-North-Sidehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/10-2013-hannover-maschseefest-brauhaus-am-see-pyramid.jpg10-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Brauhaus-am-See-Pyramidhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/09-2013-hannover-maschseefest-schinkengriller-bratwurst.jpg09-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Schinkengriller-Bratwursthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/08-2013-hannover-maschseefest-blaue-jungs-bolzum-shantychor-fankurve.jpg08-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Blaue-Jungs-Bolzum-Shantychor-Fankurvehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/07-2013-hannover-maschseefest-hamborger-veermaster.jpg07-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Hamborger-Veermasterhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/06-2013-hannover-maschseefest-tower-space-needle-ride.jpg06-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Tower-Space-needle-Ridehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/05-2013-hannover-maschseefest-die-rexis-ex-rex-richter-quintett-locc88wenbastion-stage.jpg05-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Die-Rexis-Ex-Rex-Richter-Quintett-Löwenbastion-Stagehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/04-2013-hannover-maschseefest-die-rexis-ex-rex-richter-quintett-locc88wenbastion-sign.jpg04-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Die-Rexis-Ex-Rex-Richter-Quintett-Löwenbastion-Signhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/03-2013-hannover-maschseefest-die-rexis-ex-rex-richter-quintett-locc88wenbastion-lion.jpg03-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Die-Rexis-Ex-Rex-Richter-Quintett-Löwenbastion-Lionhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/02-2013-hannover-maschseefest-dlrg-district-swimming.jpg02-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-DLRG-District-Swimming2014-11-09T16:41:24+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/pictures-2/hamburg/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/20-shipyards-of-hamburg-germany.jpg20-shipyards-of-hamburg-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/15-st-pauli-redlight-district-prostitutes-no-women-hamburg.jpg15-st-pauli-redlight-district-prostitutes-no-women-hamburghttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/14-st-pauli-goldenfire-the-other-place-hamburg-germany.jpg14-st-pauli-goldenfire-the-other-place-hamburg-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/13-police-in-red-light-district-hamburg-germany.jpg13-police-in-red-light-district-hamburg-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/12-sexy-angel-store-red-light-district-hamburg-germany.jpg12-sexy-angel-store-red-light-district-hamburg-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/11-reeperbahn-street-in-hamburg-germany.jpg11-reeperbahn-street-in-hamburg-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/10-reeperbahn-street-sign-st-pauli-hamburg-germany.jpg10-reeperbahn-street-sign-st-pauli-hamburg-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/09-fischerhaus-pub-st-pauli-fischmarkt-14-hamburg-germany.jpg09-fischerhaus-pub-st-pauli-fischmarkt-14-hamburg-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/08-fischerhaus-restaurant-st-pauli-fischmarkt-14-hamburg-germany.jpg08-fischerhaus-restaurant-st-pauli-fischmarkt-14-hamburg-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/07-hamburg-shipping-cranes-and-docks.jpg07-hamburg-shipping-cranes-and-docks2014-11-09T16:41:15+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/pictures-2/2013-berlin-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/18-friedrichshain-kreuzberg-station-walkway.jpg18-Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg-station-walkwayhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/17-friedrichshain-train-sbahn-berlin-germany.jpg17-Friedrichshain-train-sbahn-berlin-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/16-berlin-warschauer-friedrichshain-station-germany.jpg16-Berlin-Warschauer-Friedrichshain-station-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/15-berlin-warschauer-strac39fe-station-germany.jpg15-Berlin-Warschauer-Straße-station-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/14-kreuzberg-berlin-germany-swans-river.jpg14-Kreuzberg-berlin-germany-swans-riverhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/13-kreuzberg-berlin-graffiti-germany-cat.jpg13-Kreuzberg-berlin-graffiti-germany-cathttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/12-berlin-graffiti-amazing-germany-flower.jpg12-berlin-graffiti-amazing-germany-flowerhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/11-tucc88rkenmarkt-berlin-germany.jpg11-türkenmarkt-berlin-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/10-turkish-market-berlin-kreuzberg-germany.jpg10-turkish-market-berlin-Kreuzberg-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/09-berlin-germany-dornfelder-red-wine.jpg09-berlin-germany-dornfelder-red-wine2014-11-09T16:41:06+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/pictures-2/march-2012-home/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/10-african-sculpture-south-zimbabwe1.jpg10-african-sculpture-south-zimbabweBought this awesome sculpture from a kid in Zimbabwe, Africa in 1999.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/09-german-keyboard-letters-umlaut1.jpg09-german-keyboard-letters-umlautMy wife's German keyboard. Look at the crazy order of the letters! Efficient my ass...https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/08-lamp-ikea-upright-corner-dramatic-light1.jpg08-lamp-ikea-upright-corner-dramatic-lightOur [very cheap] Ikea corner lamp.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/07-christmas-wreath-holiday-bow-red-green1.jpg07-christmas-wreath-holiday-bow-red-greenOur Christmas wreath, still hangin' in there. (This picture was taken in March of 2012.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/06-rose-blossom-instamatic-hipster-flower1.jpg06-rose-blossom-instamatic-hipster-flowerPortland: The City of Roses! I just had to take this one.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/05-light-switch-dramatic-artsy-instamatic1.jpg05-light-switch-dramatic-artsy-instamaticLook at our incredibly interesting light switch! Why am I doing this??https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/04-gargoyle-eating-man-theater-company1.jpg04-gargoyle-eating-man-theater-companyA gargoyle eating a man. I can't remember the story behind this gift, but it's probably pretty awesome.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/03-portland-map-on-wall-instamatic1.jpg03-portland-map-on-wall-instamaticMap of Portland! I used to put pins on it to mark the locations of all our friends, but that seemed a little serial killery.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/02-inside-lamp-view-space-station-instamatic1.jpg02-inside-lamp-view-space-station-instamaticLooking down inside our Ikea lamp. Doesn't it look like a space station? "What are you doing, Dave?" "Shutting you down, HAL." "Daaaaaaiiisssyyyyyy....."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/01-smallmouth-bass-trophy-fish-stuffed1.jpg01-smallmouth-bass-trophy-fish-stuffedMy Smallmouth Bass trophy! You know it's sexy and you want one too.2014-11-09T16:40:51+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/pictures-2/february-2012-mt-tabor-portland-oregon/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/steps-garden-old-iron-gate-mt-tabor-oregon.jpgsteps-garden-old-iron-gate-mt-tabor-oregonNifty old steps on Mt. Taborhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/portland-mt-tabor-oregon-house-historic.jpgportland-mt-tabor-oregon-house-historicCool old building on the North side of Mt. Tabor. I think it's actually a bathroom. :)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/mt-tabor-portland-oregon-sun-rays-winter-house.jpgmt-tabor-portland-oregon-sun-rays-winter-houseA house between the trees — Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregonhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/mt-tabor-oregon-portland-covered-aread-playground.jpgmt-tabor-oregon-portland-covered-area-playgroundThe covered area at the top of Mt. Taborhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/clover-ground-cover-moss-plant-oregon-green.jpgclover-ground-cover-moss-plant-oregon-greenSome kind of ground cover — Mt. Tabor, Oregon2014-11-09T16:40:44+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/pictures-2/2012-hannover-weihnachtsmarkt/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/12-weihnachtsmarkt-tasse-mugs-hannover-glucc88wein.jpg12-Weihnachtsmarkt-Tasse-Mugs-Hannover-Glüweinhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/11-weihnachtsmarkt-altstadt-bell-beer-hannover-germany.jpg11-Weihnachtsmarkt-Altstadt-Bell-Beer-Hannover-Germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/10-weihnachtsmarkt-riesenrad-ferris-wheel-hanover.jpg10-Weihnachtsmarkt-Riesenrad-Ferris-Wheel-Hanoverhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/09-weihnachtsmarkt-lights-hannover-germany.jpg09-Weihnachtsmarkt-Lights-Hannover-Germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/08-weihnachtsmarkt-glucc88wein-glasses-in-pyramid.jpg08-Weihnachtsmarkt-Glüwein-Glasses-in-Pyramidhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/07-weihnachtsmarkt-neurathaus-hannover-germany.jpg07-Weihnachtsmarkt-Neurathaus-Hannover-Germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/06-weihnachtsmarkt-marktkirche-glucc88wein-stand.jpg06-Weihnachtsmarkt-Marktkirche-Glüwein-Standhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/05-weihnachtsmarkt-marktkirche-hannover-altstadt.jpg05-Weihnachtsmarkt-Marktkirche-Hannover-Altstadthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/04-weihnachtsmarkt-hannover-little-forest-biergarten.jpg04-Weihnachtsmarkt-Hannover-Little-Forest-Biergartenhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/03-weihnachtsmarkt-booth-setting-up-winter-2012.jpg03-Weihnachtsmarkt-Booth-Setting-Up-Winter-20122014-11-09T16:40:35+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/pictures-2/may-2012-funny-things/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/du-hast-rammstein-funny-germany-lyrics-ecards-meme.jpgdu-hast-rammstein-funny-germany-lyrics-ecards-memeSinging Du Hast by Rammstein is a great way to learn a little German. Try it! That angry-sounding German accent helps frighten AND motivate you!https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/stink-bratwurst-warm-beer-funny-germany-lyrics-ecards-meme.jpgstink-bratwurst-warm-beer-funny-germany-lyrics-ecards-memeGermans typically don't drink their beer ice cold, like we do. And no matter how they defend this preference of theirs — no. It's gross.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/wiener-schnitzel-joke-funny-germany-lyrics-ecards-meme.jpgwiener-schnitzel-joke-funny-germany-lyrics-ecards-memeHave you ever eaten Wiener schnitzel before? They fry the holy bejeezus out of it. Kinda like chicken fried steak here in the United States.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/german-birth-rate-low-graphic-ecards-meme.jpggerman-birth-rate-low-graphic-ecards-memeIt's true! The birth rate in Germany is at its lowest since 1946. (Something big, worldwide and unfortunate happened just before then, I think.) https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/prost-german-wedding-cost-ecards-meme1.jpgprost-german-wedding-cost-ecards-memeGermans may never understand why American weddings can bankrupt a young couple.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/i-can-feel-your-scoliosis-ecards-meme.jpgi-can-feel-your-scoliosis-ecards-memeFor that special moment at your wedding -- the first dance.2014-11-09T16:39:17+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/pictures-2/february-2012-home/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/book-shelf-hunger-games-palahniuk-lullaby-pygmy-survivor-the-religion-tim-willocks-the-wee-free-men-garp.jpgbook-shelf-hunger-games-palahniuk-lullaby-pygmy-survivor-the-religion-tim-willocks-the-wee-free-men-garpOur chaotic bookshelfhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/mac-laptop-power-cable-leather-chair-instagram.jpgmac-laptop-power-cable-leather-chair-instagramOld Mac PowerBook laptopon our leather chair.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/banana-plant-tree-indoor-artistic-instagram.jpgbanana-plant-tree-indoor-artistic-instagramOur indoor banana plant... dying slowly...https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/kitchen-1070-retro-portland-instagram.jpgkitchen-1070-retro-portland-instagramOur kitchen — straight out of the 1970shttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/the-max-light-rail-tickets-portland-oregon.jpgthe-max-light-rail-tickets-portland-oregonTickets for the Max, our light rail system in Portland, Oregonhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/ceiling-fan-picture-instagram.jpgceiling-fan-picture-instagramOur ceiling fan, trying to be artsyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/tea-rose-miniature-chinese-garden-artistic-instamatic.jpgtea-rose-miniature-chinese-garden-artistic-instamaticTea rose behind miniature Chinese gardenhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/culture-shock-germany-book-richard-lord-survival-guide.jpgculture-shock-germany-book-richard-lord-survival-guideMy wife bought me this copy of Culture Shock! Germany (Culture Shock! A Survival Guide to Customs & Etiquette) by Richard Lordhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/bedroom-lamp-ikea-artistic-instagram.jpgbedroom-lamp-ikea-artistic-instagramOne of our silly little reading lamps from Ikea. Ahh, so sublime...2014-11-09T16:39:05+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/pictures-2/june-2011-marburg-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/portland-airport-pdx-beaches-beer.jpgportland-airport-pdx-beaches-beerhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marburg-germany-zum-schloc39f-sign.jpgmarburg-germany-zum-schloß-signhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marburg-germany-urinal.jpgmarburg-germany-urinalhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marburg-germany-upper-section.jpgmarburg-germany-upper-sectionhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marburg-germany-town-hall.jpgmarburg-germany-town-hallhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marburg-germany-timberhaus.jpgmarburg-germany-timberhaushttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marburg-germany-timber-house-front.jpgmarburg-germany-timber-house-fronthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marburg-germany-street-view.jpgmarburg-germany-street-viewhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marburg-germany-stone-church.jpgmarburg-germany-stone-churchhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/marburg-germany-st-marien-steeple.jpgmarburg-germany-st-marien-steeple2014-11-09T16:38:53+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/pictures-2/june-2011-einbeck-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/gottingen-germany-train-inter-city-express.jpggottingen-germany-train-inter-city-expresshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/frankfurt-germany-flag-ice-train.jpgfrankfurt-germany-flag-ICE-trainhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/einbeck-germany-timbered-houses.jpgeinbeck-germany-timbered-houseshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/einbeck-germany-sculpture-column.jpgeinbeck-germany-sculpture-columnhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/einbeck-germany-leaning-building.jpgeinbeck-germany-leaning-buildinghttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/einbeck-germany-downtown.jpgeinbeck-germany-downtownhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/einbeck-germany-downtown-square.jpgeinbeck-germany-downtown-square2014-11-09T16:38:16+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/pictures-2/june-2011-berlin-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/berlin-germany-wwii-memorial1.jpgberlin-germany-WWII-memorialhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/berlin-germany-wall-tourist-display1.jpgberlin-germany-wall-tourist-displayhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/berlin-germany-wall-passport-stamps1.jpgberlin-germany-wall-passport-stampshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/berlin-germany-wall-display1.jpgberlin-germany-wall-displayhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/berlin-germany-view-from-victory-tower1.jpgberlin-germany-view-from-victory-towerhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/berlin-germany-view-from-siegessc3a4ule1.jpgberlin-germany-view-from-siegessäulehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/berlin-germany-tv-tower-river1.jpgberlin-germany-tv-tower-riverhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/berlin-germany-tv-tower-needle-evening1.jpgberlin-germany-tv-tower-needle-eveninghttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/berlin-germany-tiergarten-tank1.jpgberlin-germany-tiergarten-tankhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/berlin-germany-spree-river1.jpgberlin-germany-spree-river2014-11-09T16:38:07+00:00weekly0.6https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/11/03/american-man-in-germany-offends-absolutely-everyone-with-the-big-black-banana-in-his-pocket/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/rotten-banana-black-germany.jpgRotten-Banana-Black-Germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/hannover-germany-messenger-bag-black.jpgHannover-Germany-Messenger-Bag-Blackhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/germany-tote-bag-brown.jpgGermany-Tote-Bag-BrownDrying one of my book backs after scrubbing it half to death.2014-11-19T18:19:04+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/10/27/my-german-wife-offers-the-perfect-alternative-to-traditional-childbirth/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/pregnancy-humor-childbirth-natural-birth-home-germany.jpgpregnancy-humor-childbirth-natural-birth-home-germanyKuato says, "Open your mind." -- Photo Credit: eyeliam (Jason Lander - https://www.flickr.com/photos/eyeliam/) -- Subject to Copyright, Attribution 2.0 Generic2014-11-03T10:17:41+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/10/06/german-american-couple-visits-the-north-sea-denmark-and-a-whole-hell-of-a-lot-of-sheep/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/093-german-kids-rolling-down-a-hill1.jpg093-german-kids-rolling-down-a-hillThe ferry ride ended with these kids rolling down the hill and laughing REALLY hard about it. This is also the last picture I took before my wife and I returned to Hannover. (It's good to be home.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/092-ferry-ride-back-to-schleswig-holstein1.jpg092-ferry-ride-back-to-Schleswig-HolsteinLook at that view. Gray, wet, cold and rainy -- the perfect weather for contemplating suicide.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/091-cemetary-on-grode-island-germany-north-sea1.jpg091-cemetary-on-grode-island-germany-north-seaHere's another island cemetery. You know, just in case the rising water levels aren't reminder enough of your impending demise.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/090-grode-kirche-church1.jpg090-grode-kirche-churchInside the Grode church. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/089-arial-view-of-hallig-grode-appelland1.jpg089-arial-view-of-hallig-grode-appellandHere's a map of the island. This one doesn't even have shitty train tracks back to the mainland.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/088-funny-couple-sunbathing-in-germany1.jpg088-funny-couple-sunbathing-in-germany"Sunbathing" on Grode!https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/087-church-and-hills-on-grode-island-deutschland1.jpg087-church-and-hills-on-grode-island-deutschlandThere's the mandatory island church. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/086-grode-house-lodge-thatched-roof1.jpg086-grode-house-lodge-thatched-roofSome kind of lodge on the island. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/085-the-adler-v-5-ferry-boat-germany-hallig1.jpg085-the-adler-V-5-ferry-boat-germany-halligThere's the ship we rode on. "Please don't leave without us!"https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/084-hallig-grode-north-sea-germany1.jpg084-hallig-grode-north-sea-germanyHere we are leaving the ferry and stepping onto Hallig Grode. Believe it or not, it's even smaller than Nordstrandischmoor.2014-10-10T23:49:12+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/02/10/my-german-wife-talks-about-apartment-hunting-in-hannover/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/apartment-hunting-finding-flat-in-germany.jpgapartment-hunting-finding-flat-in-germany"Finding an apartment in Europe? Let me just suck on the end of this shotgun for a sec..." -- Photo by Colin and Sarah Northway (http://www.flickr.com/photos/apes_abroad/)2014-09-30T06:04:01+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/09/29/my-german-wife-tells-the-worst-inside-joke-of-all-time/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/rabbit-eating-carrot-on-dinner-plate-funny-cute.jpgrabbit-eating-carrot-on-dinner-plate-funny-cutePhoto Credit: Joseph SARDIN (https://www.flickr.com/photos/14328577@N08/) -- Subject to copyright (CC Attribution 2.0 Generic)2014-10-12T10:28:18+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/09/19/tv-and-movie-reviews-german-american-couple-watches-californication/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/californication-tv-show-sign-funny-german.jpgcalifornication-tv-show-sign-funny-germanPhoto Credit: Rex Roof (https://www.flickr.com/photos/rexroof/) -- CC Attribution 2.0 Generic Licensehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/merkel-diamonds-5-of-5.jpgMerkel-Diamonds-5-of-5https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/merkel-diamonds-4-of-5.jpgMerkel-Diamonds-4-of-5https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/merkel-diamonds-3-of-5.jpgMerkel-Diamonds-3-of-5https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/merkel-diamonds-2-of-5.jpgMerkel-Diamonds-2-of-5https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/merkel-diamonds-1-of-5.jpgMerkel-Diamonds-1-of-52014-09-19T17:11:40+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/09/15/german-woman-explains-disc-parking-to-her-american-husband/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/german-disc-parking-meter-europe.jpgGerman-Disc-Parking-Meter-Europe"Honey, I know you're a good person and all, but now is not the time for honesty."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/german-parking-disc-parkuhr.pngGerman-Parking-Disc-ParkuhrPhoto Credit: "Zeichen 291" -- Licensed under Public domain via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Zeichen_291.svg#mediaviewer/File:Zeichen_291.svg2016-03-26T01:35:54+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/09/04/american-expat-celebrates-2nd-year-living-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/broken-red-wine-glass-funny-germany.jpgbroken-red-wine-glass-funny-germany2017-08-04T13:32:01+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/09/01/my-german-wife-offers-a-simple-solution-to-the-problem-of-clothing-vs-closet-space/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/german-closet-clothes-hand-funny.jpggerman-closet-clothes-hand-funny2014-09-04T23:38:41+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/01/28/culture-shock-7-an-american-expatriate-answers-questions-about-living-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/04-hannover-germany-new-town-hall-neue-rathaus-view-from-maschteich.jpg04-hannover-germany-new-town-hall-neue-rathaus-view-from-maschteichhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/03-weihnachtsmarkt-pyramid-germany-deutschland-hannover-christmas-market.jpg03-Weihnachtsmarkt-Pyramid-Germany-Deutschland-Hannover-Christmas-Markethttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/02-oktoberfest-food-currywurst-french-fries-with-mayonaise.jpg02-oktoberfest-food-currywurst-french-fries-with-mayonaisehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/01-hannover-germany-altstadt-kirche-market-church-and-old-town-hall.jpg01-hannover-germany-altstadt-kirche-market-church-and-old-town-hallhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/00-biergarten-maschsee-hannover-germany.jpg00-biergarten-Maschsee-hannover-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/the-expat-hub-e-letter-logo.jpgthe-expat-hub-E-Letter-Logo2016-04-30T11:19:37+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/09/08/german-american-couple-visits-the-altwarmbuchener-see-accidentally-discovers-a-freak-show/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/carnival-circus-freak-show-geek-costumes.jpgcarnival-circus-freak-show-geek-costumesPhoto Credit: daveiam (https://www.flickr.com/photos/daveiam/) -- Subject to copyrighthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/hazmat-radiation-suits-art-gas-masks.jpghazmat-radiation-suits-art-gas-maskshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/old-man-reading-near-river-germany.jpgold-man-reading-near-river-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/beer-belly-fat-man-funny-germany.jpgbeer-belly-fat-man-funny-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/fat-kid-running-funny-germany.jpgfat-kid-running-funny-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/altwarmbuchener-see-hannover-germany-lake.jpgAltwarmbuchener-See-Hannover-Germany-Lake2014-09-16T05:18:09+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/08/25/american-man-accidentally-buys-10-liters-of-beer-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/empty-beer-bottles-case-germany-ratskrone.jpgempty-beer-bottles-case-germany-ratskroneI'm still calling this a victory.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/ratskrone-beer-with-kasten-germany.jpgratskrone-beer-with-kasten-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/ratskrone-beer-close-up-label-germany.jpgratskrone-beer-close-up-label-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/ratskrone-beer-case-container-germany.jpgratskrone-beer-case-container-germany2017-02-02T05:01:13+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/08/18/an-american-man-in-germany-finally-sits-down-to-pee/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/toilet-feet-bathroom-funny-dirty-clean.jpgtoilet-feet-bathroom-funny-dirty-clean -- Photo Credit: dirtyboxface -- Subject to copyright -- Image adjusted for contrast -- https://www.flickr.com/photos/dirtyboxface/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/man-on-toilet-funny-sitting-to-pee.jpgman-on-toilet-funny-sitting-to-pee-- Photo Credit: Gabriel Cabral -- Subject to copyright -- Image cropped from original size -- https://www.flickr.com/photos/120663298@N03/2014-08-25T09:25:21+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/08/11/american-expat-in-germany-moves-to-the-suburbs-and-drinks-the-kool-aid/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/stepford-wives-robot-dystopia-germany.jpgstepford-wives-robot-dystopia-germany-- Photo Credit: Newtown grafitti -- Subject to copyright -- https://www.flickr.com/photos/newtown_grafitti/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/suburban-sprawl-dystopia-weeds-middle-class.jpgsuburban-sprawl-dystopia-weeds-middle-class-- Photo Credit: futureatlas.com -- Subject to copyright -- https://www.flickr.com/photos/87913776@N00/2015-12-29T17:36:35+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/08/04/american-expat-and-his-german-wife-return-to-the-hannover-adventure-zoo/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/04-hannover-erlebnis-zoo-2014-germany.jpg04-hannover-erlebnis-zoo-2014-germanyNot so deadly, but he loves to kick zookeepers right in their pink parts.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/03-hannover-erlebnis-zoo-2014-germany.jpg03-hannover-erlebnis-zoo-2014-germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/02-hannover-erlebnis-zoo-2014-germany.jpg02-hannover-erlebnis-zoo-2014-germanySo much too see. Better get there early.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/01-hannover-erlebnis-zoo-2014-germany.jpg01-hannover-erlebnis-zoo-2014-germany"That's right, you filthy little animals -- we're back."2014-08-10T17:05:10+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/07/28/my-german-wife-kills-two-birds-with-one-stone/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/two-birds-with-one-stone-funny-parrots1.jpgtwo-birds-with-one-stone-funny-parrotshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/two-birds-with-one-stone-funny-parrots.jpgtwo-birds-with-one-stone-funny-parrots-- Photo by Benny Mazur -- Subject to copyright -- https://www.flickr.com/photos/benimoto/29773506402015-04-18T03:46:26+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/07/21/why-americans-dont-like-soccer-one-opinion-from-an-american-expat-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/funny-soccer-sucks-kids-team.jpgfunny-soccer-sucks-kids-team"Go Timmy, Go! OH MY GOD HE KICKED THAT KID IN THE MOUTH." -- Photo by martha_chapa95 -- Subject to copyright -- https://www.flickr.com/photos/56192190@N05/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/portland-futsal-soccer-sucks-ball-funny.jpgportland-futsal-soccer-sucks-ball-funny"When in doubt, go for the scrotum." -- Photo by John Fischer -- Subject to copyright -- https://www.flickr.com/photos/stickergiant/2014-08-10T13:08:13+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/07/14/culture-shock-the-2014-fifa-world-cup-as-experienced-by-an-american-expat-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/2014-fifa-world-cup-germany-vs-argentina-tropy-presentation-pregame.jpg2014-FIFA-World-Cup-Germany-vs-Argentina-Tropy-Presentation-PreGamehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/2014-fifa-world-cup-germany-vs-argentina-mario-gotze.jpg2014-FIFA-World-Cup-Germany-vs-Argentina-Mario-Gotzehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/2014-fifa-world-cup-germany-vs-argentina-players-mid-game2.jpg2014-FIFA-World-Cup-Germany-vs-Argentina-Players-Mid-Gamehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/2014-fifa-world-cup-germany-vs-argentina-mario-gocc88tze2.jpg2014-FIFA-World-Cup-Germany-vs-Argentina-Mario-Götzehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/2014-fifa-world-cup-germany-vs-argentina-fans-4th-win-victory2.jpg2014-FIFA-World-Cup-Germany-vs-Argentina-Fans-4th-Win-Victoryhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/2014-fifa-world-cup-germany-vs-argentina-players-mid-game1.jpg2014-FIFA-World-Cup-Germany-vs-Argentina-Players-Mid-Gamehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/2014-fifa-world-cup-germany-vs-argentina-mario-gocc88tze1.jpg2014-FIFA-World-Cup-Germany-vs-Argentina-Mario-Götzehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/2014-fifa-world-cup-germany-vs-argentina-fans-crying1.jpg2014-FIFA-World-Cup-Germany-vs-Argentina-Fans-Cryinghttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/2014-fifa-world-cup-germany-vs-argentina-fans-4th-win-victory1.jpg2014-FIFA-World-Cup-Germany-vs-Argentina-Fans-4th-Win-Victoryhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/2014-fifa-world-cup-germany-vs-argentina-bild-newspaper1.jpg2014-FIFA-World-Cup-Germany-vs-Argentina-Bild-Newspaper2024-12-20T11:14:31+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/07/07/american-expat-gleefully-passes-german-integration-course/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/german-beer-shots-oktoberfest-fruhlingsfest-hannover.jpggerman-beer-shots-oktoberfest-fruhlingsfest-hannover"Zum Wohl!"https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/bangkok-ladyboys-singing-performing-funny.jpgbangkok-ladyboys-singing-performing-funny"Hallelujah!" -- Photo by zaphodsotherhead (https://www.flickr.com/photos/zaphodsotherhead/) -- Subject to copyright.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/diverse-language-class-sad-funny.jpgdiverse-language-class-sad-funny"Today we are learning the word, 'hassen,' which means 'to hate'..." -- Photo by Shane Global (https://www.flickr.com/photos/shaneglobal/) -- Subject to copyrighthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/gleeful-man-celebrating-victory-american-funny.jpggleeful-man-celebrating-victory-american-funnyPhoto by Toms Bauģis (https://www.flickr.com/photos/toms/) -- Subject to copyright2018-03-29T08:25:13+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/06/30/my-german-wife-politely-asks-if-i-have-a-hearing-problem/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/childs-ear-perfect-small-cute.jpgchilds-ear-perfect-small-cute"Can you hear me MEOW?" -- Photo by Travis Isaacs -- Image subject to copyright -- https://www.flickr.com/photos/tbisaacs/2014-09-02T03:18:06+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/06/16/the-roaring-psychotic-dysfunctional-german-couple-upstairs/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/funny-angry-baby-sticking-tongue-out.jpgfunny-angry-baby-sticking-tongue-out"...you sons of bitches..." -- Photo by Ms. Phoenix -- Subject to copyright -- (https://www.flickr.com/photos/32020964@N08/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/crazy-funny-couple-blonde-insane.jpgcrazy-funny-couple-blonde-insane"Please let me pass, lady. I just want to go home. Oh God, I just want to go home!" -- Photo by David Long -- Subject to copyright -- (https://www.flickr.com/photos/fromthefrontend/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/funny-turkish-boy-with-gun-to-head.jpgfunny-turkish-boy-with-gun-to-head"But you have so much to live for! ...wait, you know what? Just go for it." -- Photo by Thomas Leuthard -- Subject to copyright -- (https://www.flickr.com/photos/thomasleuthard/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/angry-fighting-couple-white.jpgcouple yelling at each other-- Photo by Vic -- Copyright -- https://www.flickr.com/photos/59632563@N04/2015-01-19T22:00:58+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/06/09/my-german-wife-complains-about-getting-cramps-while-jogging/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/old-cemetary-with-moss-covered-grave-stones.jpgold-cemetary-with-moss-covered-grave-stones"Welcome to your new home, big mouth." -- Photo by Martin Pettitt -- Image subject to copyright -- (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mdpettitt/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/jogging-side-aches-cramps-funny-humor.jpgjogging-side-aches-cramps-funny-humor"Wait up, Honey! I had to stop for a sec and blow chunks all over a tree!" -- Photo by rosmary -- Subject to copyright -- (https://www.flickr.com/photos/rvoegtli/)2014-06-18T06:20:18+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/03/18/culture-shock-9-american-man-refuses-to-operate-bathroom-turnstile-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/man-running-to-use-bathroom-funny-germany.jpgman-running-to-use-bathroom-funny-germanyHe's running because he has to drop a deuce. -- Photo by John Wright (http://www.flickr.com/photos/dryfish/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/turnstile-bathroom-germany-europe-pay-toilet.jpgturnstile-bathroom-germany-europe-pay-toilet"Your only job is to hinder my relief." -- Photo by Tony Fischer Photography (http://www.flickr.com/photos/tonythemisfit/)2014-06-04T16:27:12+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/06/02/german-american-couple-visits-the-spanish-island-of-mallorca/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/27-view-from-catedral-de-mallorca2.jpg27-view-from-catedral-de-mallorcahttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/84-mcdonalds-mcrib-in-germany-fries-beer.jpg84-mcdonalds-mcrib-in-germany-fries-beerHow do YOU deal with the post-vacation blues after arriving in your home airport? My wife and I go directly to McDonalds, apparently, where we order McRibs and drink beer. (I ate 2 McRibs because I hadn't eaten fast food in 2 years. This rationale made plenty of sense at the time. YOU'RE NOT BETTER THAN ME.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/83-departing-palma-de-mallorca-airport.jpg83-departing-palma-de-mallorca-airportHere's the view as we departed the island. Doesn't that engine look like it wants to just fall right the hell off?https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/82-sunset-in-mallorca.jpg82-sunset-in-mallorcaDammit! It's our last night on Mallorca. These vacations always end too soon. It's like experiencing life, from birth to death, in 7 days.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/81-joan-miro-1969-06-19-portrait-picasso.jpg81-joan-miro-1969-06-19-portrait-picassoThat's Joan Miro sitting next to Pablo Picasso in 1969. Just a couple of paint slingers chillin' in paradise.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/80-tiny-funny-coffee-cups-port-de-soller-mallorca-spain.jpg80-tiny-funny-coffee-cups-port-de-soller-mallorca-spainWe ordered these coffees so we could drink them on the beach. They were the smallest coffees ever, but it's funny if you imagine they're normal sized coffees and my wife's hand is just enormous.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/79-historical-antique-train-mallorca-spain.jpg79-historical-antique-train-mallorca-spainThere's our train, just waiting to take us back to Palma. I loved that little guy. I named him, "Nachos Calientes." https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/78-mediterranean-sea-port-de-soller-mallorca.jpg78-mediterranean-sea-port-de-soller-mallorcaHere's another shot of our Mediterranean paradise. Ahhh, can't you just feel the skin cancer?https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/77-port-de-soller-beach-shore-cape.jpg77-port-de-soller-beach-shore-capeHere is the beautiful little port town of Port de Sóller. I thought this photograph ruled until I noticed the stupid garbage can in the corner.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/76-historical-old-train-controls-mallorca.jpg76-historical-old-train-controls-mallorcaThis is the conductor's booth in the caboose. I pushed all the buttons and pulled all the levers, but the train simply would not jump the tracks and run off a cliff.2014-06-26T09:45:21+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/05/26/my-german-wife-is-impressed-by-a-litigious-player-of-bagpipes/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/bagpipes-player-funny-man.jpgbagpipes-player-funny-man-- Photo by Jonathan Stonehouse (https://www.flickr.com/photos/gizmo_bunny/)2014-06-16T20:56:54+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/05/19/my-wife-suggests-long-john-underwear-to-help-fight-winter-chills-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/long-thermal-underwear-funny-winter.jpglong-thermal-underwear-funny-winter-- Photo by Anthony Easton (https://www.flickr.com/photos/pinkmoose/)2014-06-16T20:58:53+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/09/02/author-of-oh-god-my-wife-is-german-expatriates-to-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/oh-god-my-wife-is-german-email-image.gifoh-god-my-wife-is-german-email-image2014-08-01T06:19:00+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/07/15/deutsch-points-take-our-german-personality-test/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/oh-god-my-wife-is-german-logo-no-text.jpgOh-God-My-Wife-Is-German-Logo-No-Text2014-05-15T12:46:07+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/05/12/my-german-wife-apologizes-after-overcooking-our-american-style-steaks/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/american-style-steaks-in-germany.jpgamerican-style-steaks-in-germany-- Photo by Ralph Daily (https://www.flickr.com/photos/ralphandjenny/)2014-05-31T23:00:18+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/11/21/denglish-38-ally-mcbeals-bosom/2014-05-12T11:23:17+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/05/05/my-german-wife-explains-the-biology-of-bad-breath/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/bad-breath-open-mouth-stink-funny.jpgbad-breath-open-mouth-stink-funny"Oh God. Please, just close your mouth and never open it again." -- Photo by Alisha Vargas (https://www.flickr.com/photos/alishav/)2014-05-08T23:05:41+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/04/28/my-german-wife-invents-a-heroic-new-nickname-for-senior-citizens/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/silver-surfer-toy-funny-german-comic.jpgsilver-surfer-toy-funny-german-comicThis has since become our household name for anyone over the age of 65. -- Photo by Xin Mei (https://www.flickr.com/photos/metaxin/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/senior-citizens-crosswalk-sign-funny-humor-old-age.jpgsenior-citizens-crosswalk-sign-funny-humor-old-age2014-05-05T20:39:49+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/04/21/my-german-wife-orders-the-execution-of-an-apparently-female-pest/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/traditional-german-breakfast-cheese-wurst-bread.jpgtraditional-german-breakfast-cheese-wurst-breadPictured: A traditional German breakfast (heart attack pending).https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/german-wasp-pests-insects-dead.jpggerman-wasp-pests-insects-deadI named this one, Louis XVI.2014-05-13T15:09:28+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/04/14/my-german-wife-buys-a-new-shower-caddy-for-our-bathroom/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/german-shower-caddy-dusche-bath-products-expat.jpgGerman-Shower-Caddy-Dusche-Bath-Products-Expat2014-05-07T13:24:36+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/04/07/my-german-wife-is-grateful-for-the-opportunity-to-teach-older-students/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/funny-kid-making-face-eyes-zombie-tired.jpgfunny-kid-making-face-eyes-zombie-tired"Did I really need that second master's degree for this?" -- Photo by Gerry Thomasen (http://www.flickr.com/photos/gerrythomasen/)2014-04-24T13:59:01+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/03/31/my-german-wife-struggles-with-the-size-of-our-american-kitchen/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/large-beautiful-american-kitchen-hand-made.jpglarge-beautiful-american-kitchen-hand-madeThis is not our kitchen. You can tell because the biohazard signs are missing. -- Photo by Chalon Handmade (http://www.flickr.com/photos/chalonuk/)2014-04-08T04:35:46+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/03/03/german-american-couple-returns-to-portland-oregon-for-the-2013-holiday-season/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/05-big-pink-tower-arrival-in-downtown-portland-oregon1.jpg05-big-pink-tower-arrival-in-downtown-portland-oregonhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/57-jet-lag-alarm-clock.jpg57-jet-lag-alarm-clockI was so jet-lagged by the time my wife picked me up from the airport I had to fight to keep my eyes open. Every blink was a struggle to pull them open again. By 3:00 pm CET, I'd finally had enough, so I collapsed into bed. This is me, waking up 8 hours later... at 11:07 pm.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/56-klm-flight-to-germany-barf-bag-vomit-disposal.jpg56-klm-flight-to-germany-barf-bag-vomit-disposalHad to take a picture of the barf bag, of course. I've never used one before, but maybe next time!https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/55-klm-airplane-amsterdam-to-hannover-germany.jpg55-klm-airplane-amsterdam-to-hannover-germanyThere's my little KLM plane to Hannover. I don't normally like little planes, but this guy was alright.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/54-amsterdam-airport-departure-screen-hannover-germany.jpg54-amsterdam-airport-departure-screen-hannover-germanyHere I am at the Amsterdam airport again. The flight from Portland was pretty smooth, but I still couldn't sleep. I can never sleep on planes. Those of you who can? I will never understand your kind.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/53-amsterdam-airport-layover-coffee-charging-ipnone-outlet.jpg53-amsterdam-airport-layover-coffee-charging-ipnone-outletI found an outlet to charge my iPhone! I also bought a coffee so I wouldn't be a total waste of space when I arrived in Hannover.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/52-portland-international-airport-pdx-roof-architecture.jpg52-portland-international-airport-pdx-roof-architectureAh yes... the Portland International Airport, or PDX for short. I bet architects sport some real chub over that curved roof right there.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/51-lardo-sandwiches-burgers-fries-portland-oregon.jpg51-lardo-sandwiches-burgers-fries-portland-oregonLardo was outstanding. Unfortunately, it was where I had to say goodbye to one of my closest friends before returning to Germany. Seeing all that fat again makes me want to cry.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/50-lardo-pig-out-cafe-restaurant-portland-oregon.jpg50-lardo-pig-out-cafe-restaurant-portland-oregonOh yes, Lardo sells all kinds of fatty, piggy treats. My aorta hurts just thinking about them.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/49-lardo-cafe-restaurant-portland-oregon.jpg49-lardo-cafe-restaurant-portland-oregonThis is the Lardo Cafe in SE Portland. Remember those food carts I showed you earlier? It started out as one of those. Oh, and by this point, my wife had already flown back to Germany because her official holiday was over and she had to get back to work. We staying in touch over the phone, so for a few days, it was like doing the long-distance thing all over again. *Shudder*2014-03-12T22:44:36+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/02/24/american-expat-in-germany-experiences-his-first-green-cabbage-walking-tour-grunkohlwanderung/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/04-bregenwurst-green-kale-grunkohlwanderung-hannover.jpg04-Bregenwurst-Green-Kale-Grunkohlwanderung-Hannoverhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/03-bregenwurst-green-kale-grunkohlwanderung-germany.jpg03-Bregenwurst-Green-Kale-Grunkohlwanderung-Germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/02-german-potatoes-grunkohlwanderung-germany.jpg02-German-Potatoes-Grunkohlwanderung-Germanyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/01-grog-whiskey-in-water-grunkohlwanderung-germany.jpg01-Grog-Whiskey-in-Water-Grunkohlwanderung-Germany2014-03-25T20:10:58+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/02/17/my-german-wife-attempts-to-reheat-a-soft-boiled-egg-in-the-microwave/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/how-to-reheat-a-soft-boiled-egg-in-the-microwave.jpghow-to-reheat-a-soft-boiled-egg-in-the-microwaveLet me just say right from the start, I think we all know where this post is headed.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/egg-exploding-in-microwave-funny-germany.jpgegg-exploding-in-microwave-funny-germanyI still laugh every time I see this picture.2015-04-01T14:51:33+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/01/27/my-german-wife-accidentally-adopts-adorable-plant-monsters-while-cleaning-our-office/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/kinder-surprise-uberraschung-egg-chocolate-sorpresa.jpgkinder-surprise-uberraschung-egg-chocolate-sorpresahttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/05-plastic-plants-germany-pocket-monsters-funny.jpg05-plastic-plants-germany-pocket-monsters-funnyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/04-plastic-plants-germany-owl-key-fob.jpg04-plastic-plants-germany-owl-key-fobhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/03-owl-keychain-german-funny.jpg03-owl-keychain-german-funnyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/02-german-monster-toy-in-plastic-plant.jpg02-german-monster-toy-in-plastic-planthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/01-german-plastic-monster-toy-from-chocolate-easter-egg.jpg01-german-plastic-monster-toy-from-chocolate-easter-egg2014-03-10T22:46:06+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/02/03/my-german-wife-corrects-my-limited-and-highly-inappropriate-use-of-the-german-language/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/unspeakable-covering-mouth-1st-amendment-freedom-of-speech-funny-germany.jpgunspeakable-covering-mouth-1st-amendment-freedom-of-speech-funny-germany"Maybe I should just stop now and never speak again." -- Photo by Sarah G (http://www.flickr.com/photos/dm-set/)2014-03-13T21:40:56+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/01/20/american-expat-living-in-germany-looks-back-at-blogging-in-2013/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/funny-german-couple.jpgfunny-german-couplePictured: Not really us. But maybe someday... -- Photo by Alex Archambault (http://www.flickr.com/photos/lostintexas/)2014-02-07T18:04:15+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/01/13/my-german-wife-makes-a-can-of-hot-pot-soup-and-leaves-me-a-hilarious-note-about-it/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/hot-pot-soup-can-la-finesse-asiatischse-glasnudel-suppe-german1.jpghot-pot-soup-can-la-finesse-asiatischse-glasnudel-suppe-germanCaptionhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/funny-note-from-german-wife-denglish-translation-hilarious.jpgfunny-note-from-german-wife-denglish-translation-hilarious2015-03-02T22:36:32+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/12/30/the-wise-guys-2013-antidepressant-tour-as-experienced-by-an-american-expat-and-his-german-wife/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/the-wise-guys-a-cappella-group-good-vibrations-tour-gottingen-antidepressivum-tour-2013.jpgThe-Wise-Guys-a-cappella-group-Good-Vibrations-Tour-Gottingen-Antidepressivum-Tour-2013"These guys will be replacing my antidepressant medication for the evening? Huh. I guess they'll be tossing bottles of scotch into the crowd or something."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/the-wise-guys-a-cappella-group-germany-good-vibrations-tour-gottingen-antidepressant-tour-2013.jpgThe-Wise-Guys-a-cappella-group-Germany-Good-Vibrations-Tour-Gottingen-Antidepressant-Tour-2013https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/the-wise-guys-2013-antidepressant-tour-tickets.jpgThe-Wise-Guys-2013-Antidepressant-Tour-Ticketshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/burger-king-xxl-burger-der-big-king-deutschland-germany-gottingen.jpgBurger-King-XXL-Burger-Der-Big-King-Deutschland-Germany-GottingenDer Big King XXL. This is not a joke.2014-01-16T23:55:15+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/12/23/denglish-95-my-german-wife-struggles-adorably-to-pronounce-the-english-letter-j-while-stuck-in-traffic/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/portland-traffic-jam-i-84-onramp-ne-oregon.jpgPortland-Traffic-Jam-I-84-onramp-NE-Oregon2015-02-12T18:09:32+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2014/01/06/denglish-96-my-german-wife-knows-how-to-pimp-an-american-pizza/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/pizza-pimp-funny-humor-tasty-glorious.jpgpizza-pimp-funny-humor-tasty-glorious"Take the flavor. TAKE IT." -- Photo by tacit requiem (http://www.flickr.com/photos/tacitrequiem/)2014-01-17T17:37:24+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/11/18/the-2013-soulplex-dance-competition-in-hannover-germany-as-experienced-by-an-american-expat-and-his-german-wife/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/2013-soulplex-dance-competition-hannover-germany.jpg2013-Soulplex-Dance-Competition-Hannover-GermanyPictured: Rapidly moving hormone machines.2013-11-29T21:34:22+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/11/11/denglish-91-my-german-wife-inquires-about-the-joys-of-parenting/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/funny-parents-dad-sad-kid-child-raising-rearing-parenting.jpgfunny-parents-dad-sad-kid-child-raising-rearing-parenting"That's right, Dad... go to your happy place." -- Photo by allygirl520 (http://www.flickr.com/photos/scrapstothefuture/)2016-03-31T18:15:56+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/11/04/the-2013-oktoberfest-in-hannover-germany-as-experienced-by-a-german-american-couple/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/oktoberfest-hannover-2013-ride-schutzenplatz.jpgOktoberfest-Hannover-2013-Ride-Schutzenplatz"How do you say, 'Stop the ride, I'm gonna hurl' in German?" -- Photo by Kai Nehm (http://www.flickr.com/photos/trau_kainehm/)2013-11-14T14:31:51+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/08/25/denglish/2013-10-25T18:25:39+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/08/25/denglish-2/2013-10-25T18:24:36+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/08/25/denglish-3/2013-10-25T18:23:17+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/08/25/denglish-4/2013-10-25T18:22:33+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/08/25/denglish-5/2013-10-25T18:21:45+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/08/25/denglish-6/2013-10-25T18:20:44+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/08/30/denglish-7/2016-03-26T01:09:37+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/01/denglish-8/2013-10-25T18:18:38+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/06/denglish-10/2013-10-25T18:16:31+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/07/denglish-11/2013-11-03T10:08:57+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/09/denglish-12/2013-10-25T18:14:37+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/12/denglish-13/2013-10-25T18:13:25+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/14/denglish-14/2013-10-25T18:12:31+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/15/denglish-15/2013-10-25T18:11:31+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/17/denglish-16/2014-02-26T17:06:12+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/22/denglish-19/2016-03-26T13:35:06+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/24/denglish-20/2013-10-25T18:07:37+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/25/denglish-21/2013-10-25T18:06:36+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/27/denglish-23/2013-10-25T18:05:07+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/28/denglish-24-flip-books/2013-10-25T18:04:26+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/29/denglish-25-google-chat-emoticons/2013-10-25T18:03:15+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/30/denglish-26-anticipating-the-big-apple/2013-10-25T18:02:23+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/10/01/denglish-27-german-libido/2013-10-25T18:01:31+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/10/02/denglish-28-good-teachers/2013-10-25T17:58:22+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/10/06/denglish-29-bodily-secretions/2013-10-25T17:57:28+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/10/10/denglish-30-the-aesthetics-of-smart-people/2013-10-25T17:56:34+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/10/17/denglish-32-german-eating-habits/2013-10-25T17:54:58+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/10/25/denglish-34-german-names/2014-10-23T15:05:28+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/11/02/denglish-35-happy-hour-in-new-york-city/2013-10-25T17:52:06+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/11/08/denglish-36-low-prices-in-chinatown/2013-10-25T17:51:16+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/11/15/denglish-37-warming-the-cold/2013-10-25T17:50:01+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/11/23/denglish-39-the-german-declares-a-funny/2013-10-25T17:48:32+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/11/30/denglish-40-pizza-warfare/2013-10-25T17:47:58+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/12/05/denglish-41-the-german-needs-garlic/2013-10-25T17:47:16+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/12/14/denglish-42-the-german-sizes-up-daniel-radcliffe/2013-10-25T17:46:13+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/12/22/denglish-43-the-germans-got-sunshine-on-a-cloudy-day/2013-10-25T17:45:37+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/12/30/denglish-44-the-german-goes-nuts-for-deez-nutz/2013-10-25T17:45:11+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/01/24/denglish-47-the-german-shops-for-baby-gifts/2013-10-25T17:43:47+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/02/01/denglish-48-the-german-discovers-daves-killer-bread/2018-10-22T20:38:34+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/02/08/denglish-49-the-german-evaluates-an-ugly-american-baby/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/ugly-baby-max-mother-blogger-acne-bug-eyes-funny.jpgugly-baby-max-mother-blogger-acne-bug-eyes-funny"KUATO LIVES" - Image courtesy of Mother Blogger (http://www.motherblogger.ca/)2013-10-25T17:42:07+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/02/21/denglish-50-the-german-renames-a-famous-scotsman/2013-10-25T17:41:12+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/03/19/denglish-52-my-german-wife-uses-my-awesome-nicknames-against-me/2013-10-25T17:40:17+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/04/02/denglish-53/2013-10-25T17:39:35+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/04/09/denglish-54-my-german-wife-answers-natures-call-in-washington-d-c/2013-10-25T17:39:07+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/04/16/denglish-55-my-german-wife-recommends-a-swift-cleansing-of-the-genitals/2013-10-25T17:37:00+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/04/23/denglish-56-a-well-intentioned-health-and-fitness-plan-from-germany/2013-10-25T17:36:30+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/04/30/denglish-57-my-german-wife-identifies-the-source-of-our-stress/2013-10-25T17:36:06+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/05/07/denglish-58-my-german-wife-and-the-freakishly-unsettling-way-she-eats-bananas/2013-10-25T17:35:37+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/05/28/denglish-60-why-i-cringe-when-a-german-wins-a-fight/2013-10-25T17:34:28+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/06/11/denglish-62-my-german-wife-fails-a-quiz-on-reproductive-anatomy/2013-10-25T17:33:08+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/06/18/denglish-63-my-german-wife-explains-american-underwear/2013-10-25T17:32:41+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/06/25/denglish-64-my-german-wife-somehow-reinvents-the-cause-of-sexually-transmitted-diseases/2013-10-25T17:32:14+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/07/02/denglish-65-my-german-wife-attempts-to-describe-menstrual-cramps/2013-10-25T17:31:52+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/07/09/denglish-66-my-german-wife-is-violently-proud-of-her-salad-dressing/2013-10-25T17:31:23+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/07/16/denglish-67-a-german-teacher-on-child-discipline/2013-10-25T17:30:50+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/07/23/denglish-68-my-german-wife-describes-an-instance-of-american-flatulence/2013-10-25T17:29:35+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/08/06/denglish-70-my-german-wife-complains-about-our-american-chores/2013-10-25T17:28:28+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/10/28/denglish-90-coastal-breezes-at-the-oregon-coast-affect-exactly-one-part-of-my-german-wifes-body/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/oregon-coast-cannon-beach-depressing-coast-gray-sea-ocean.jpgoregon-coast-cannon-beach-depressing-coast-gray-sea-oceanThe Oregon Coast: Where hope is unwelcome and dreams come to die.2013-11-08T16:21:58+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/10/07/10-easy-steps-to-become-the-worst-god-damned-german-language-teacher-on-the-planet/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/funny-teacher-bad-classroom-multicultural-multiethnic-diverse1.jpgfunny-teacher-bad-classroom-multicultural-multiethnic-diverse"Put your hands down, idiots. I'm taking a smoke break." -- Photo by www.audio-luci-store.it (http://www.flickr.com/photos/audiolucistore/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/funny-teacher-bad-classroom-multicultural-multiethnic-diverse.jpgfunny-teacher-bad-classroom-multicultural-multiethnic-diversehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/bad-teacher-funny-sign-german-language-class.jpgbad-teacher-funny-sign-german-language-class-- Photo by Eden, Janine and Jim (http://www.flickr.com/photos/edenpictures/)2016-02-21T17:54:51+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/09/30/denglish-89-how-my-german-wife-improves-our-sunday-night-frozen-pizzas/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/funny-pizza-domo-doll-monster-germany1.jpgfunny-pizza-domo-doll-monster-germany"My entire life has been prelude to this moment." -- Photo by Jeff Kramer (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jeffk/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/funny-pizza-domo-doll-monster-germany.jpgfunny-pizza-domo-doll-monster-germany"My entire life has been prelude to this moment." -- Photo by Jeff Kramer (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jeffk/)2013-11-11T15:33:09+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/09/23/german-american-couple-takes-the-steinhuder-meer-bike-tour-and-i-have-an-allergic-reaction-to-eel-meat/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/17-steinhuder-meer-art-sculpture.jpg17-Steinhuder-Meer-Art-SculptureHere's a piece of artwork. Sorta looks like two sperm cells chasing each other.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/04-steinhuder-meer-caution-bicyclists-sign-germany.jpg04-Steinhuder-Meer-Caution-Bicyclists-Sign-Germany"Bike tour on a beautiful summer day? Obviously something bad is going to happen."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/black-eel-orgy-scary-funny-steinhuder-meer.jpgblack-eel-orgy-scary-funny-steinhuder-meer-- Image courtesy of Peter Harrison (http://www.flickr.com/photos/devcentre/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/30-05-steinhuder-meer-bike-trail-corn-field-crop.jpg30-05-Steinhuder-Meer-Bike-Trail-Corn-Field-CropMy wife took this picture because I was actually hidden inside, stealing ears of corn. The joke was on me, however, because that corn tasted like hot gummy ass. I don't think it was meant for human consumption. I think it was meant for feeding beef cattle.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/29-steinhuder-meer-bike-trail-to-restaurant.jpg29-Steinhuder-Meer-Bike-Trail-to-RestaurantIt's hard to tell, but that is a very steep hill. I tried to haul-ass up it, but my wife said I was going too fast. Then I said, "That's what she said!" And then I realized, yes, that is literally what she just said. Also, I accused myself of being an overly zealous lover ...and I'm an idiot.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/28-steinhuder-meer-salzbergwerks-wunstorf-salt-mines.jpg28-Steinhuder-Meer-Salzbergwerks-Wunstorf-Salt-Mineshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/28-steinhuder-meer-der-kaliberg-des-salzbergwerks-sigmundhall-wunstorf-bokeloh.jpg28-Steinhuder-Meer-der-Kaliberg-des-Salzbergwerks-Sigmundhall-Wunstorf-BokelohLook at this little path leading to that giant salt mine. It looks more like pepper in this picture, but I wanted to lick it anyway.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/27-steinhuder-meer-restaurant.jpg27-Steinhuder-Meer-RestaurantThis is the first restaurant you'll see when you get to the town of Steinhude. My wife wouldn't let me get brew doggs there; she wanted to see the stupid pretty lake first.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/26-steinhuder-meer-walkway-park.jpg26-Steinhuder-Meer-Walkway-ParkHere's the little park in Steinhude. Isn't it cute? I bet you nothing bad ever happens here. "Welcome to the Town of Steinhude. Population: 4,895. Hobos Stabbed: 0"https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/25-steinhuder-meer-radio-controlled-boat-sunset.jpg25-Steinhuder-Meer-Radio-Controlled-Boat-SunsetSteamboat Dickenbeans was radio controlled. If its owner had let me drive it, I would have torpedoed that hunk of junk straight into the first obstacle I could find.2013-10-25T14:38:35+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/09/12/denglish-71-my-german-wifes-unique-tool-for-hair-removal/2013-09-16T19:17:30+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/09/20/denglish-72-my-german-wife-disapproves-of-my-baby-name-suggestions/2013-09-16T19:16:53+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/10/09/denglish-73-how-to-really-listen-to-your-spouse-according-to-my-german-wife/2013-09-16T19:16:20+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/10/18/denglish-74-my-german-wife-invents-acrobatic-dried-goods/2013-09-16T19:01:01+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/10/29/denglish-75-my-german-wife-explains-urinary-hormone-levels/2013-09-16T18:57:56+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/11/05/denglish-76-my-german-wife-appreciates-complimentary-swag/2013-09-16T18:56:37+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/12/03/denglish-77-maternal-bonding-during-pregnancy-according-to-my-german-wife/2013-09-16T18:56:02+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/01/21/denglish-78-my-german-wife-asks-me-not-to-strike-her-loins/2014-12-19T00:00:19+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/02/11/denglish-79-my-german-wife-can-burp-harder-than-anyone-ever/2013-09-16T18:53:58+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/03/04/denglish-80-my-german-wife-hilariously-reinvents-the-rocking-chair/2013-09-16T18:52:34+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/04/01/denglish-81-german-woman-totally-destroys-yet-another-innocent-nickname/2013-09-16T18:51:44+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/04/29/denglish-82-my-german-wife-ridicules-my-american-bathroom-habits/2013-09-16T18:51:12+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/06/03/denglish-83-my-german-wife-unhappily-transports-bean-bag-chairs/2013-09-16T18:50:20+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/06/24/denglish-84-my-normally-frugal-german-wife-chooses-fashion-over-sustenance/2015-03-11T19:40:19+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/08/05/denglish-86-my-german-wife-warns-me-about-the-mythological-beast-in-our-bathtub/2013-10-07T13:36:17+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/05/21/german-prepositions-far-too-many-ways-to-be-right/2016-01-07T19:58:39+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/11/12/pictures-oktoberfest-2012-hannover-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/05-oktoberfest-beer-steins-biergarten-table.jpg05-oktoberfest-beer-steins-biergarten-tableThat's my full liter of beer on the left, and my wife's sissy half-liter on the right. I don't know why this picture in focused primarily on the table, but I do know drinking in public is legal in Germany, and Oktoberfest actively encourages it.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/04-oktoberfest-food-currywurst-french-fries-with-mayonaise.jpg04-oktoberfest-food-currywurst-french-fries-with-mayonaiseCurrywurst is a really cheap carnival / food cart dish here in Germany. They hack up a bunch of pork sausage and drown it in curry sauce without a trace of remorse. Next to our currywurst are french fries slathered in (oh God) mayonnaise, which immediately reminded me of that scene from Pulp Fiction about Holland: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jO4HfasmD6Ehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/03-oktoberfest-clown-scary-funny-darts-booth-game.jpg03-oktoberfest-clown-scary-funny-darts-booth-game"Look, kids, it's the world's scariest clown! And, uh oh, he's trying to throw darts right into your adorable little eyes! Here are your ride tokens. Have fun!"https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/02-oktoberfest-hannover-entrance-october-2012-night.jpg02-oktoberfest-hannover-entrance-october-2012-nightLooks like the entrance to just about any fair you'd find in the United States, doesn't it? Though inconspicuous from this angle, that tent on the left is just a tiny feature of a massive beer garden seen immediately upon arrival. I told my wife, "Go on without me. I'm never leaving this place."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/01-oktoberfest-hannover-2012-germany-ferris-wheel-at-night.jpg01-oktoberfest-hannover-2012-germany-ferris-wheel-at-nightThis was the view as we approached the Oktoberfest fairgrounds. I was so excited I had to go pee pee behind that tree on the left.2013-09-16T18:40:34+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/07/01/video-french-team-at-the-2013-international-fireworks-competition-in-hannover-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/international-fireworks-competition-french-team.jpgInternational Fireworks Competition - French Team"Woah nelly! Don't get too carried away there, France."2013-09-16T16:56:00+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/06/10/video-american-man-hungover-at-the-tui-marathon-in-hannover-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/08-messy-couch-unmade-slob-bachelor.jpg08-messy-couch-unmade-slob-bachelorThis was my Undies-Only Entertainment Chamber. Obviously a huge mess, but so what? It's not like I was expecting company. The only person I needed to impress was me, and I say it was AWESOME.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/07-large-skillet-pan-in-refrigerator-bachelor-single-life.jpg07-large-skillet-pan-in-refrigerator-bachelor-single-lifeI thought I was being a good husband when I made a pan of stir-fry for my wife to enjoy upon her return. I just didn't have the energy to put it into smaller containers. Whatever. That sumbitch fit in the fridge just fine after a little pushing, shoving and plastic cracking.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/06-dirty-filthy-stained-stove-top-burner-mess-bachelor.jpg06-dirty-filthy-stained-stove-top-burner-mess-bachelorIf a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? And if a stove is left so filthy it is considered a biohazard in 49 out of 50 countries, but no one shows up in a hazMat suit to put it in quarantine, can it still boil water? Yes. The answer is yes.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/05-dirty-dishes-left-in-sink-single-man-bachelor-life.jpg05-dirty-dishes-left-in-sink-single-man-bachelor-lifeIn Bachelortown, we do not touch our dirty dishes until mere seconds before our wives come home. Also, that red thing in the pot is an idiot-proof egg timer, which failed to prevent me from overboiling my eggs so hard they tasted like Zeus's balls.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/04-overcooked-pasta-left-in-strainer.jpg04-overcooked-pasta-left-in-strainerI overcooked the sweet holy hell out of some pasta, used half of it, then let the rest dry to a crisp in the strainer because I wasn't sure if I would want to eat it later. (I didn't.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/03-nivea-men-german-aftershave-fluid.jpg03-nivea-men-german-aftershave-fluidThis is how a MAN goes on a shopping spree: he heads to the nearest drugstore, finds the shaving aisle, buys the shit he needs and goes home to fiddle his nightstick. Mission accomplished.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/02-mens-essentials-drain-cleaner-juice-bike-pumps-wine-mess.jpg02-mens-essentials-drain-cleaner-juice-bike-pumps-wine-messOrange juice, industrial-strength drain cleaner, a broken bike tire pump and a NEW bike tire pump. Shit got DONE that weekend, dammit (no matter what my wife tells you).https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/01-bachelor-night-alcohol-drinking-vodka-juice-beer-shots-breakfast-of-champions.jpg01-bachelor-night-alcohol-drinking-vodka-juice-beer-shots-breakfast-of-championsThis was breakfast, lunch and dinner, baby. Only thing missing were the kidney beans I ate right out of the can with a wooden spoon.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/00-unmade-bed-funny-bachelor-lifestyle-slob-single-life1.jpg00-unmade-bed-funny-bachelor-lifestyle-slob-single-lifeWelcome to the Stink Nest, where the bed goes unmade, the sheets are unclean and the window stays closed in order to contain every last wisp of my toot-vapor.2014-07-21T17:35:19+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/03/25/video-american-man-grudgingly-jogs-around-the-hannover-maschsee-in-germany/2013-09-16T16:53:43+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/02/25/video-expat-couple-mocks-wild-pigs-at-the-tiergarten-in-hannover-germany/2013-09-16T16:53:04+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/01/14/video-german-american-couple-hauls-ass-on-the-autobahn-in-germany/2013-09-16T16:52:19+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/11/26/video-oktoberfest-2012-adorably-drunk-germans-in-a-beer-tent/2013-09-16T16:32:03+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/11/19/video-oktoberfest-2012-our-first-encounter-with-a-german-speaking-werewolf/2013-09-16T16:31:27+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/03/11/inspirational-bloggers-the-reverand-nathan-runkel-author-of-cartoon-girls-i-wanna-nail/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/x-men-sexy-women-cartoon-characters-rogue-storm-psylock.jpegx-men-sexy-women-cartoon-characters-rogue-storm-psylockImage courtesy of oocities.org/televisioncity/1356/x-chicks.htmhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/ariel-the-little-mermaid-rock-singing-sexy.jpegariel-the-little-mermaid-rock-singing-sexyImage courtesy of mermaidzone.bizhat.com/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/gi-joe-the-baroness-sexy-cartoon-character1.jpeggi-joe-the-baroness-sexy-cartoon-characterImage courtesy of goosaba.blogspot.de/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/gi-joe-the-baroness-sexy-cartoon-character.jpeggi-joe-the-baroness-sexy-cartoon-characterImage courtesy of goosaba.blogspot.de/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/velma-scooby-doo-cartoon-character.jpgvelma-scooby-doo-cartoon-characterImage courtesy of oocities.org/televisioncity/1356/scoob.htmhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/cartoon-girls-i-wanna-nail-logo.jpegcartoon-girls-i-wanna-nail-logo-- Image courtesy of geocities.ws/CaptNish/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/cartoon-girls-i-wanna-nail-cgiwn.jpegcartoon-girls-i-wanna-nail-cgiwnImage courtesy of geocities.ws/CaptNish/main.html2013-09-16T16:22:45+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/12/11/writing-and-blogging-expat-blog-awards-2012-germany/2013-09-16T16:21:32+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/02/28/new-york-liaison-a-tale-of-love-and-projectile-vomiting-in-the-big-apple-part-ii/2013-09-16T17:57:14+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/03/12/new-york-liaison-a-tale-of-love-and-projectile-vomiting-in-the-big-apple-part-iii/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/central-park-new-york-trees-buildings-evening-fence-e1328919046478.jpgcentral-park-new-york-trees-buildings-evening-fenceOh God.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/hostel-bunk-beds-laptop-messy-bed-morning1.jpghostel-bunk-beds-laptop-messy-bed-morningOh God.2013-09-16T16:19:50+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/13/the-camping-chronicles-freezing-the-american/2013-09-16T16:17:43+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/10/04/the-camping-chronicles-timothy-lake-part-i/2013-09-16T16:17:01+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/10/07/the-camping-chronicles-timothy-lake-part-ii-2/2013-09-16T16:16:35+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/10/14/the-camping-chronicles-timothy-lake-part-iii/2016-03-27T01:23:03+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/20/automobile-tales-sideswiping-the-german/2013-09-16T16:14:46+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/23/the-pipe-story/2013-09-16T16:14:09+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/09/16/the-hannover-adventure-zoo-as-experienced-by-a-german-american-couple-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/hannover-zoo-erlebnis-zoo-hannover-entrance-sign.jpgHannover-Zoo-Erlebnis-Zoo-Hannover-Entrance-Sign"Can you feel the love tonight?"2014-09-13T16:38:38+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/09/17/culture-shock-1-an-american-fails-at-asking-for-permission-to-take-a-picture-of-an-electric-car/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/26-hannover-germany-renault-twizy-electric-car-charging-at-rathaus1.jpg26-hannover-germany-renault-twizy-electric-car-charging-at-rathausIf you follow this blog with any kind of regularity, you saw this picture from our first 'Culture Shock' post, when I attempted to ask a German if I could take a picture of his adorable electric car. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/renault-twizy-electric-car-european-plug-in-charger-germany-co2-free-mobil.jpgRenault-Twizy-electric-car-european-plug-in-charger-germany-co2-free-mobilLook at that thing. Just charging itself all the live long day.2013-09-09T16:50:00+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/10/15/culture-shock-2-an-american-attempts-to-get-a-haircut-in-germany/2014-07-19T22:46:27+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/12/17/culture-shock-4-american-man-enters-bakery-in-his-pajamas-seeking-change/2013-09-09T16:48:24+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/09/09/denglish-88-my-german-wife-describes-a-case-of-severe-pregnancy/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/very-pregnant-woman-sexy-german.jpgvery-pregnant-woman-sexy-germanShopping: The new labor inducer. -- Image courtesy of Jordan Fischer (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jordanfischer/)2022-05-13T16:08:19+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/07/30/denglish-69-my-wife-finds-my-old-dungeons-and-dragons-stuff/2013-09-05T14:12:57+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/09/02/the-2013-hannover-maschseefest-as-experienced-by-an-american-expat-in-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/05-2013-hannover-maschseefest-die-rexis-ex-rex-richter-quintett-locc88wenbastion-stage.jpg05-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Die-Rexis-Ex-Rex-Richter-Quintett-Löwenbastion-Stage"Go home lion. You are drunk."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/11-2013-hannover-maschseefest-brauhaus-restaurants-north-side.jpg11-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Brauhaus-Restaurants-North-SideAnd here are all the restaurant stands along the north side. It was raining balls, so we said goodbye to the Maschseefest and assured it we would return again next year (after we've given birth to our food babies).https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/10-2013-hannover-maschseefest-brauhaus-am-see-pyramid.jpg10-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Brauhaus-am-See-PyramidThat's the Brauhaus am See, which looked suspiciously like the Christmas pyramid we saw at the Hannover Weihnachtsmarkt. Are you guys just recycling the same old materials every couple of months to get me drunk? Because I am totally fine with that.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/09-2013-hannover-maschseefest-long-thin-red-sausage-bratwurst.jpg09-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Long-Thin-Red-Sausage-BratwurstThat's a Schinkengriller sausage, or as I like to call it, the 'Skinny Meatus.'https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/08-2013-hannover-maschseefest-blaue-jungs-bolzum-shantychor-fankurve.jpg08-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Blaue-Jungs-Bolzum-Shantychor-FankurveBelieve it or not, what you are seeing here is a very old groupie. The Hamborger Veermaster was filled with the wives of the Blaue Jungs all-male choir group, who sing traditional Hamburg sailor songs. To me they all sounded like drunken pirate ditties, but my wife knew all the lyrics for some reason. "Honey? Were you a lusty sea wench before you met me?"https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/07-2013-hannover-maschseefest-hamborger-veermaster.jpg07-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Hamborger-VeermasterHere we are at the Hamborger Veermaster stand, where you can celebrate all things Hamburg (minus the prostitution and soccer hooligans).https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/06-2013-hannover-maschseefest-tower-space-needle-ride.jpg06-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Tower-Space-needle-RideYou see that Space Needle-lookin' thing? You can drink beers on that. 'Course, it costs like €7 euros per person, but still. BEER... AT ALTITUDE.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/05-2013-hannover-maschseefest-die-rexis-ex-rex-richter-quintett-locc88wenbastion-stage.jpg05-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Die-Rexis-Ex-Rex-Richter-Quintett-Löwenbastion-StageThose Germans can tell I'm not from around here because I'm taking pictures in the dark.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/04-2013-hannover-maschseefest-die-rexis-ex-rex-richter-quintett-locc88wenbastion-sign.jpg04-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Die-Rexis-Ex-Rex-Richter-Quintett-Löwenbastion-SignThis was the sign hanging above the 'Löwenbastion,' also known as the 'Artillery Fortification with Lions On It.'https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/03-2013-hannover-maschseefest-die-rexis-ex-rex-richter-quintett-locc88wenbastion-lion.jpg03-2013-Hannover-Maschseefest-Die-Rexis-Ex-Rex-Richter-Quintett-Löwenbastion-Lion"I saw you, lion -- you had like 4 liters of beer. Gimme your car keys."2013-09-08T14:21:34+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/08/29/wakeboarding-backflips-may-not-be-suitable-for-children/2013-08-15T18:33:56+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/08/24/the-camping-chronicles-burning-the-german-part-iii/2013-08-15T09:39:02+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/08/24/the-camping-chronicles-burning-the-german-part-ii/2013-08-15T09:38:31+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/08/24/the-camping-chronicles-burning-the-german-part-i/2013-08-15T09:37:35+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/08/12/culture-shock-16-the-absolute-best-and-weirdest-german-integration-class-i-ever-had/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/crazy-surreal-classroom-dream-cats-dancing-people.jpgcrazy-surreal-classroom-dream-cats-dancing-people"Seriously, you guys. Is it April Fool's Day or something?" -- Image courtesy of ilovebutter (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jdickert/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/funny-guy-tripping-balls-on-drugs.jpgfunny-guy-tripping-balls-on-drugs"HOLD ON. I'M TRIPPING BALLS."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/funny-glam-pink-hijab-headdress-muslim.jpgfunny-glam-pink-hijab-headdress-muslim"...I said, ARE YOU READY YOU ROCK?!" -- Image courtesy of thefixer (http://www.flickr.com/photos/fixersphotos/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/funny-transvestite-crossdresser-heavy-tranny-makeup.jpgfunny-Transvestite-crossdresser-heavy-tranny-makeup"Welcome to German class, everyone. Now, let's get STRANGE." -- Image courtesy of Courtney Rhodes (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pumpkincat210/)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/teacher-red-apple-on-desk-bite-out-funny.jpgteacher-red-apple-on-desk-bite-out-funny"Do they even give apples to teachers in this country?" -- Image courtesy of Robert S. Donovan (http://www.flickr.com/photos/booleansplit/)2014-03-05T16:04:11+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/05/27/inspirational-bloggers-jonah-peretti-author-of-black-people-love-us/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/sally-and-johnny-black-people-love-funny.jpgsally-and-johnny-black-people-love-funnyImage courtesy of blackpeopleloveus.comhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/black-people-love-us-header-graphic-sally-johnny.jpgblack-people-love-us-header-graphic-sally-johnnyImage courtesy of blackpeopleloveus.comhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/black-people-love-us-funny-hangman-game-spelling.jpgblack-people-love-us-funny-hangman-game-spellingImage courtesy of blackpeopleloveus.comhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/black-people-love-sally-johnny-pictionary.jpgblack-people-love-sally-johnny-pictionaryImage courtesy of blackpeopleloveus.com2016-08-23T19:53:52+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/05/20/culture-shock-12-confused-american-expat-throws-socks-in-german-toilet/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/03-dirty-socks-in-german-shower-funny-accident.jpg03-Dirty-Socks-in-German-Shower-Funny-AccidentPictured: poor impulse control.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/02-german-wicker-laundry-basket-hamper-dirty-clothes.jpg02-German-Wicker-Laundry-Basket-Hamper-Dirty-Clotheshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/01-socks-in-german-toilet-funny-fail-accident.jpg01-Socks-in-German-Toilet-Funny-Fail-Accident2013-08-19T10:15:49+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/10/04/pictures-a-walking-tour-of-hannover-germany-on-the-red-thread-part-i/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/30-hannover-germany-new-town-hall-neue-rathaus-view-from-maschteich.jpg30-hannover-germany-new-town-hall-neue-rathaus-view-from-maschteichThis picture looks like every single postcard from Hannover ever, so hopefully someone steals it and sends it to a loved one back home without noticing the logo in the corner. "Hi honey! I'm having a great time and I totally found a new wife here in Germany! See you soon! XOXO!"https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/26-hannover-germany-renault-twizy-electric-car-charging-at-rathaus.jpg26-hannover-germany-renault-twizy-electric-car-charging-at-rathausIf you follow this blog with any kind of regularity, you saw this picture from our first 'Culture Shock' post, when I attempted to ask a German if I could take a picture of his adorable electric car. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/25-hannover-germany-rathaus-view-east-norddeutsche-landesbank-building.jpg25-hannover-germany-rathaus-view-east-norddeutsche-landesbank-buildingLast one. I swear. Oh, and that tall glass building looks even weirder in person. Like a pile of spare parts from a greenhouse.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/24-hannover-germany-rathaus-view-southeast-museum-and-maschsee.jpg24-hannover-germany-rathaus-view-southeast-museum-and-maschseeOh good, another boring picture of the Hannover skyline. I am sorry, Dear Reader; capturing all 360 degrees of the city seemed like a fantastic idea at the time.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/23-hannover-germany-rathaus-spiral-staircase.jpg23-hannover-germany-rathaus-spiral-staircaseThose are the steps down to the elevator. I took this picture because I spent one second too long considering what would happen if an earthquake hit while my wife and I were up at the top of the Rathaus, and then I panicked like a little bitch.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/22-hannover-germany-rathaus-view-south-maschsee-and-maschteich.jpg22-hannover-germany-rathaus-view-south-maschsee-and-maschteichThere's the Maschsee again and the Maschteich in front of it. (Note: 'see' means 'lake,' 'teich' means 'pond,' and 'Klugscheißer' means 'smartass.')https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/21-hannover-germany-rathaus-view-southwest-maschsee-and-stadium-96.jpg21-hannover-germany-rathaus-view-southwest-maschsee-and-stadium-96This is the view southwest, looking at the Maschsee and the AWD-Arena to the right, where the Hannover 96 soccer team plays. (And yes, I know it's called 'football' here, but saying that makes me sound like I know how the game works.)https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/20-hannover-germany-view-northeast-from-top-of-rathaus.jpg20-hannover-germany-view-northeast-from-top-of-rathausHere is the view northeast. In the middle of the picture you can see a church with no roof. That's the Aegidienkirche, but there are no beer gardens in the vicinity, so it doesn't really even count.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/19-hannover-germany-rathaus-view-north-altstadt-church.jpg19-hannover-germany-rathaus-view-north-altstadt-churchThis is the view from the top of the Rathaus facing north. In the distance you can see the Market Church, which is probably my favorite part of the city. Not because I'm religious or anything; that church is parked right in the middle of beer garden central, and Daddy's got a vicious thirst.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/18-hannover-germany-rathaus-elevator-oblique-17-degrees-leaning.jpg18-hannover-germany-rathaus-elevator-oblique-17-degrees-leaningThis is the view from the elevator on the way up to the top of the Rathaus. The camera is pointed straight up, so you can see the elevator shaft ascends at an angle of 17 vertigo-inducing degrees.2013-05-17T12:22:42+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/04/10/video-when-spring-arrives-germans-appear-as-if-by-magic/2013-05-28T13:21:57+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/04/08/inspirational-bloggers-robert-hamburger-author-of-the-official-ninja-webpage-real-ultimate-power/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/robert-hamburger-ninjas_are_cool_baseball_jersey.jpgrobert-hamburger-ninjas_are_cool_baseball_jerseyImage courtesy of cafepress.com and realultimatepower.nethttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/official-ninja-webpage-real-ultimate-power-robert-hamburger.jpgofficial-ninja-webpage-real-ultimate-power-robert-hamburgerImage courtesy of realultimatepower.nethttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/official-ninja-webpage-real-ultimate-power-party.jpgofficial-ninja-webpage-real-ultimate-power-partyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/official-ninja-webpage-real-ultimate-power-logo.jpgofficial-ninja-webpage-real-ultimate-power-logoImage courtesy of realultimatepower.nethttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/official-ninja-webpage-real-ultimate-power-link.jpegofficial-ninja-webpage-real-ultimate-power-link2013-05-12T07:57:24+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/02/04/pictures-our-looney-tunes-trip-to-berlin-january-2013/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/18-friedrichshain-kreuzberg-station-walkway.jpg18-Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg-station-walkwayAnd here's the last view of the Warschauer Straße station, or as Looney Tunes called it, "The Death March."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/17-friedrichshain-train-sbahn-berlin-germany.jpg17-Friedrichshain-train-sbahn-berlin-germanyThere's the S-Bahn at the Warschauer Straße station. You see all that scary graffiti beyond it? That's Friedrichshain. It was occupied by the Russians before the Berlin Wall came down (which comes as absolutely no surprise to me).https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/16-berlin-warschauer-friedrichshain-station-germany.jpg16-Berlin-Warschauer-Friedrichshain-station-germany"I love you Berlin! Wait... wait... except for that part right there."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/15-berlin-warschauer-strac39fe-station-germany.jpg15-Berlin-Warschauer-Straße-station-germanyThis is the Warschauer Straße station. The Wife, Looney Tunes and I had to cross it every single day we were in Berlin. You can see why we started calling it "The DDR."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/14-kreuzberg-berlin-germany-swans-river.jpg14-Kreuzberg-berlin-germany-swans-riverThese stupid swans looked way cooler at the time I took this picture. Seemed like there were hundreds of them, and each one was bigger than my wife. Now all I've got are a bunch of flying jerks in a rainstorm.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/13-kreuzberg-berlin-graffiti-germany-cat.jpg13-Kreuzberg-berlin-graffiti-germany-catLook at that. A really cool painting of a cat... and somebody put glasses on its face and a dick in its mouth. Just the way God intended.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/12-berlin-graffiti-amazing-germany-flower.jpg12-berlin-graffiti-amazing-germany-flowerOh Kreuzberg, you big silly. Is that a meat-eating flower jutting out from a mural of pure, German madness? "Have fun on your way to school, kids!"https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/11-tucc88rkenmarkt-berlin-germany.jpg11-türkenmarkt-berlin-germanyMy God the rain was pounding that day. Looney Tunes and I finished looking at the market then shagged-ass to the nearest pub we could find. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/10-turkish-market-berlin-kreuzberg-germany.jpg10-turkish-market-berlin-Kreuzberg-germanyLooney Tunes was all about seeing this place. It's Berlin's famous Turkish Market, or Türkenmarkt. I couldn't see much through the torrential downpour, but I noticed some crazy-looking fruit, fried bread and dozens of little Turkish crones haggling over sheets of cloth.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/09-berlin-germany-dornfelder-red-wine.jpg09-berlin-germany-dornfelder-red-wineThis is the bottle of wine our hosts left for us to enjoy. And by enjoy, I mean totally steal and laugh while drinking it.2013-09-23T17:59:37+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2013/01/10/writing-and-blogging-our-expat-blog-gets-the-wordpress-2012-year-in-review-treatment/2013-01-23T22:15:59+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/12/19/writing-and-blogging-the-2012-expat-blog-award-results-for-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/expats-blog-award-2012-germany-honour.jpegexpats-blog-award-2012-germany-honour2013-01-07T08:58:54+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/12/10/video-the-2012-weihnachtsmarkt-christmas-market-in-hannover-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/12-weihnachtsmarkt-tasse-mugs-hannover-glucc88wein.jpg12-Weihnachtsmarkt-Tasse-Mugs-Hannover-GlüweinNow HERE is a traditional Weihnachtsmarkt mug. So charming! They're almost charming enough to make me forget the €2 euro deposit I had to pay on top of the €2.5 euros for the Glüwein itself. Really? A deposit? These Germans... they think I'm going to steal a mug so I can take it home with me. I am offended. (And I am much more likely to lob my mug like a grenade into the swarm of Christmas shoppers. "Incoming!")https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/11-weihnachtsmarkt-altstadt-bell-beer-hannover-germany.jpg11-Weihnachtsmarkt-Altstadt-Bell-Beer-Hannover-GermanyHere's one of the larger stands at the market. You can even go inside, which is so cramped you feel like you're getting drunk in a closet... inside a stranger's home.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/10-weihnachtsmarkt-riesenrad-ferris-wheel-hanover.jpg10-Weihnachtsmarkt-Riesenrad-Ferris-Wheel-HanoverLook at the miniature ferris wheel! isn't it adorable? I made my wife SWEAR she would ride it with me, even though it's really only for stupid little kids. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/09-weihnachtsmarkt-lights-hannover-germany.jpg09-Weihnachtsmarkt-Lights-Hannover-GermanyHere's a nice and blurry photo for you. Clearly, I should have been a photographer. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/08-weihnachtsmarkt-glucc88wein-glasses-in-pyramid.jpg08-Weihnachtsmarkt-Glüwein-Glasses-in-PyramidOur first Glüwein. This is actually on the second level of the Pyramid. Usually, Glüwein is sold in charming little handmade mugs, but this place used glasses, which burned my American fingers all the way to the bone.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/07-weihnachtsmarkt-neurathaus-hannover-germany.jpg07-Weihnachtsmarkt-Neurathaus-Hannover-GermanyYet another booth under construction. Hurry up, Germans! Daddy's got a sudden and inexplicable thirst for scalding hot wine.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/06-weihnachtsmarkt-marktkirche-glucc88wein-stand.jpg06-Weihnachtsmarkt-Marktkirche-Glüwein-StandHere's one of the booths advertising Glüwein, specifically. They sell other things too, like eggnog, which is called "Eierpunsch." An Eierpunsch sounds like something you get when you go to a sports pub and make fun of the local soccer team.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/05-weihnachtsmarkt-marktkirche-hannover-altstadt.jpg05-Weihnachtsmarkt-Marktkirche-Hannover-AltstadtHere are some more booths under construction right around the Market Church. I'm so relieved it's not a sin to get plowed within sight of the House of God.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/04-weihnachtsmarkt-hannover-little-forest-biergarten.jpg04-Weihnachtsmarkt-Hannover-Little-Forest-BiergartenThis is our absolute favorite of the Biergartens - The Wunschbrunnenwald (Wishing Well Forest). They basically made a tiny forest in the middle of the street, encircling a fountain. It has a bunch of little booths inside, plus dark corners and hiding places, so you can inconspicuously spike the holy shit out of your Glüwein.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/03-weihnachtsmarkt-booth-setting-up-winter-2012.jpg03-Weihnachtsmarkt-Booth-Setting-Up-Winter-2012Putting the final touches on a medieval-themed booth. I would later discover this is where they sell mead and play bagpipes. 2012-12-21T17:55:16+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/09/24/video-how-to-use-american-electrical-appliances-in-germany/2012-11-01T14:41:23+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/09/10/pictures-my-flight-from-portland-oregon-to-hannover-germany/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/12-biergarten-maschsee-hannover-germany.jpg12-biergarten-Maschsee-hannover-germanyAwwwwww yeaaaahhh. That first beer in my new city. Can you guess which one was mine? That's right; Daddy likes 'em big. Wait, I mean...https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/11-beer-garden-and-hotel-on-the-maschsee-hannover.jpg11-beer-garden-and-hotel-on-the-Maschsee-hannoverThis is the Courtyard Marriott on the Maschsee. I would love to stay here someday, but for now I have chosen to assume it is populated by rich assholes who aren't really happy because they work too much and their kids hate them.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/10-the-maschsee-fountain-hannover-de.jpg10-the-Maschsee-fountain-hannover-deThis is a picture of the Maschsee, taken a few hours after I was reunited with my beautiful wife. And by "reunited," I mean the birds were belting out an opera and the bees were machine gunning their pollen just everywhere.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/09-landing-at-haj-airport.jpg09-landing-at-HAJ-airportAh yes, that terrifying moment when you are about to touch down and it's like you're at the bottom of a staircase in the dark, sticking your foot out to feel for the floor... "OH JESUS I AM FALLING TO MY DEATH." *errrrt* "Ah, made it. I was never really worried."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/08-about-to-touch-down-at-hannover-langenhagen-airport.jpg08-about-to-touch-down-at-Hannover-Langenhagen-AirportComing in for the landing. This is right when I like to plug my headphones back into my ears and crank up iTunes even though the flight attendant has already told us to shut off all electronic devices. What can I say? I'm just hard like that.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/07-descending-into-hanover-germany-airport.jpg07-descending-into-hanover-germany-airportGetting close to the Hannover airport! ...and no longer sure why I snapped so many pictures of the exact same thing. Thank you for your patience, Dear Reader. Don't hate.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/06-flight-descent-into-hannover.jpg06-flight-descent-into-hannoverDefinitely approaching Hannover here. There was some turbulence, and I'll be real honest with you -- my palms were sweating. I HATE turbulence, especially because it is one of those recurring scenarios in which I am reminded of the fact that I am a huge pussy.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/05-view-of-german-countryside-from-airplane.jpg05-view-of-german-countryside-from-airplaneI can't remember if this was during the ascent or descent, but this picture certainly captures the beautiful German countryside. It was very... what's the word I'm looking for? "Bucolic?" Something colicy... much like the screaming infant 3 rows behind me. ZING!https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/04-view-of-frankfurt-from-above-plane-sky-view-wing.jpg04-view-of-Frankfurt-from-above-plane-sky-view-wingThis was the view as we departed Frankfurt. I tried to capture all the bank towers downtown, but I accidentally bonked my iPhone against the window so hard I was paralyzed by my own embarrassment.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/03-lufthansa-seat-flight-attendant-movie-screen-frankfurt.jpg03-Lufthansa-seat-flight-attendant-movie-screen-FrankfurtThis was my view aboard that sweet, sweet Lufthansa flight. It was a long one, but MAN did they make it tolerable.2013-09-23T10:19:55+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/08/28/pictures-our-visit-to-einbeck-germany-in-the-summer-of-2011/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/einbeck-germany-timbered-houses1.jpgeinbeck-germany-timbered-houseshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/gottingen-germany-train-inter-city-express.jpggottingen-germany-train-inter-city-expressThis was our train stop in Göttingen, where we saw the University of Göttingen and more bicycles than I have ever seen in my entire life. Seriously, it was like a sea of bikes, all packed together. Just the sight of it almost gave me a seizure.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/frankfurt-germany-flag-ice-train.jpgfrankfurt-germany-flag-ICE-trainLook at the German flag! That was the first German flag I saw when I arrived in the country. I was very excited about it, but none of the Germans on our train cared about it at all because they see it every day. And because they're a bunch of passionless robots with BMW parts where their hearts should be.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/einbeck-germany-timbered-houses.jpgeinbeck-germany-timbered-housesThis is the town center in Einbeck. My wife tells me every German town has a Rathaus (town hall) right in the middle. She also informed me each town center has a Wasserfontäne (water fountain), which I informed her actually translates to "piss pillar."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/einbeck-germany-sculpture-column.jpgeinbeck-germany-sculpture-columnHere's a handsome wooden gentleman holding up some super old building. "Psssst, your balls are showing..."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/einbeck-germany-leaning-building.jpgeinbeck-germany-leaning-buildingCheck out this leaning building! That's hardly up to code, German people. Let's spend a little less time wrapping ourselves around trees alongside the Autobahn and a little more time measuring 90° degree angles. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/einbeck-germany-downtown.jpgeinbeck-germany-downtownI don't know if this is a town hall or what, but it looks like the perfect place to buy warm blueberry muffins. Something about this building makes me feel like it is a factory producing nothing but pure, distilled happiness... and operated entirely by Smurfs.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/einbeck-germany-downtown-square.jpgeinbeck-germany-downtown-squareHere's a similar shot of Einbeck's town center. You can also call it "downtown," if you want to make the Einbeckers feel like they actually belong with the rest of us in the 21st century.2012-09-20T19:53:02+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/08/13/pictures-our-trip-to-berlin-in-the-summer-of-2011/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/berlin-germany-siegessacc88ule1.jpgberlin-germany-siegessäulehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/berlin-germany-wwii-memorial.jpgberlin-germany-WWII-memorialThis is the Denkmal für die ermordeten Juden Europas, or "The Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe." Seriously. That's what it's called.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/berlin-germany-wall-tourist-display.jpgberlin-germany-wall-tourist-displayA section of Die Berliner Mauer, or Berlin Wall. So colorful. So depressing.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/berlin-germany-wall-passport-stamps.jpgberlin-germany-wall-passport-stampsThis guy was stamping people's passports with every stamp you would have needed to pass through the Berlin Wall before it was closed off. He has the world's most boring job, and the world's most interesting job, simultaneously. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/berlin-germany-wall-display.jpgberlin-germany-wall-displayChunks of the Berliner Mauer. Can you imagine if that one piece fell down on that dude's head? https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/berlin-germany-view-from-victory-tower.jpgberlin-germany-view-from-victory-towerThe view from the Siegessäule, looking at the TV Tower. Are you tired of these pictures yet, Dear Reader?https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/berlin-germany-view-from-siegessacc88ule.jpgberlin-germany-view-from-siegessäuleThe view from the Siegessäule, or "Victory Column." It was so packed with tourists I couldn't turn around and I almost dropped my camera over the edge.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/berlin-germany-tv-tower-river.jpgberlin-germany-tv-tower-riverThe Fernsehturm, or "TV Tower" in Berlin.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/berlin-germany-tv-tower-needle-evening.jpgberlin-germany-tv-tower-needle-eveningThe Fernsehturm. Get used to pictures like this, my friends. https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/berlin-germany-tiergarten-tank.jpgberlin-germany-tiergarten-tankThis is the Soviet Memorial in the Tiergarten. I didn't really care about this because I had blisters on my feet from my wife forcing me to walk the entire length of the park.2012-08-27T22:10:33+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/08/20/pictures-our-stay-in-marburg-in-the-summer-of-2011/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/marburg-germany-st-marien-steeple1.jpgmarburg-germany-st-marien-steeplehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/portland-airport-pdx-beaches-beer.jpgportland-airport-pdx-beaches-beerThis is the gigantic beer I enjoyed at Beaches in the Portland Airport right before my flight. I may have had more than one, and this may have been why I forgot my jacket at the bar.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/marburg-germany-zum-schloc39f-sign.jpgmarburg-germany-zum-schloß-signThis is a sign pointing out the incredibly obvious path up to the Landgrave Castle.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/marburg-germany-urinal.jpgmarburg-germany-urinalThis is the men's room at some cafe right at the foot of the Landgrave Castle. I took a picture of this urinal because it looks like a cyclops with a toothless mouth, which not only wants me to pee in it, but NEEDS me to pee in it.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/marburg-germany-upper-section.jpgmarburg-germany-upper-sectionThis is the Oberstrasse, which is the upper section of downtown Marburg. It is full of tourist shops and cafes. You are about to see entirely too many pictures just like this.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/marburg-germany-town-hall.jpgmarburg-germany-town-hallThis is Marburg's Rathaus (Town Hall.) As you can see, there were a bunch of dudes singing in front of it that day. I choose to believe they were belting out a passionate rendition of the "Chicken Dance."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/marburg-germany-timberhaus.jpgmarburg-germany-timberhausThis is a half-timbered house, which you will see absolutely everywhere in Marburg. And I can promise you will be sick of seeing them in this photo album today.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/marburg-germany-timber-house-front.jpgmarburg-germany-timber-house-frontHalf-timbered house. They're charming as hell, and apparently irresistible as photo opportunities.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/marburg-germany-street-view.jpgmarburg-germany-street-viewA row of buildings. See the shape of their roof tiles? They're curved. I saw them all over the place in Germany, and wondered why they had that shape. No doubt it can somehow be traced back to Germany being better than America in all ways. Am I right, you uppity Schnitzel suckers?https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/marburg-germany-stone-church.jpgmarburg-germany-stone-churchHere's the Marburg castle again. Legend has it, an allied WWII pilot refused to bomb it because it was too beautiful to destroy. I prefer to think he just missed it because he coughed and spilled Earl Gray all over his Charlie Browns.2013-05-24T11:45:39+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/02/denglish-9/2012-04-19T01:19:05+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/21/denglish-18/2012-04-19T00:56:46+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/09/26/denglish-22/2012-04-19T00:45:48+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/10/12/denglish-31-humoring-parents/2012-04-19T00:34:25+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2011/10/21/denglish-33-german-textbooks/2012-04-19T00:30:44+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/01/06/denglish-45-a-german-remedy-for-my-american-cold/2012-05-13T16:36:47+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/01/13/denglish-46-the-german-to-do-list-for-complete-retards/2012-04-18T23:59:39+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/02/13/new-york-liaison-a-tale-of-love-and-projectile-vomiting-in-the-big-apple-part-i/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/putnam-hostel-nyc-close-bedford-brooklyn-street-e1328749548574.jpgPutnam-hostel-nyc-close-bedford-brooklyn-streetasdasdashttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/world-map-new-york-valentine-love-german-wife.jpgworld-map-new-york-valentine-love-german-wifehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/horst-vodka-mini-fridge-hostel-room-nyc.jpghorst-vodka-mini-fridge-hostel-room-nycHorst was a total drunk.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/new-york-love-valentine-german-wife-world-map-oh-god-my.jpgnew-york-love-valentine-german-wife-world-map-oh-god-myhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/bunk-beds-together-hostel-new-york.jpgbunk-beds-together-hostel-new-yorkFigure 2: The bunk beds pushed together.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/bunk-beds-hostel-room-private-brooklyn.jpgbunk-beds-hostel-room-private-brooklynFigure 1: How we found the bunk beds.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/272-putnam-brooklyn-new-york-hostel.jpg272-Putnam-brooklyn-new-york-hostel"It's the one in the middle. Get inside. NOW."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/suitcase-packing-vodka-cranberry-juice-hunger-games.jpgsuitcase-packing-vodka-cranberry-juice-hunger-gamesOnly the essentials. And yes, those are 3D glasses.https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/little-italy-italian-american-museum-iam.jpglittle-italy-italian-american-museum-iam"Taxi! —Fine. Didn't want a ride from you anyway."https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/little-italy-new-york-city-mulberry-street1.jpglittle-italy-new-york-city-mulberry-streetPlease don't put a severed horse head in my bedsheets, oh kind and progressive-thinking Italian restaurateurs!2014-09-09T12:54:47+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/03/26/new-york-liaison-a-tale-of-love-and-projectile-vomiting-in-the-big-apple-part-iv/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/08-statue-of-liberty-below-winter-new-york-city.jpg08-statue-of-liberty-below-winter-new-york-cityhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/07-statue-of-liberty-seen-from-ferry-ellis-island.jpg07-statue-of-liberty-seen-from-ferry-ellis-islandhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/07-statue-of-liberty-pigeon.jpg07-statue-of-liberty-pigeonhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/06-new-york-statue-of-liberty-costume-battery-park.jpg06-new-york-statue-of-liberty-costume-battery-parkhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/06-new-york-sculpture-battery-park-ellis-island-ferry-statue-of-liberty.jpg06-new-york-sculpture-battery-park-ellis-island-ferry-statue-of-libertyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/06-new-york-battery-park-building-square.jpg06-new-york-battery-park-building-squarehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/06-battery-park-nyc-skyscrapers-angle-beautiful.jpg06-battery-park-nyc-skyscrapers-angle-beautifulhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/06-battery-park-new-york-city-mall-business-lights.jpg06-battery-park-new-york-city-mall-business-lightshttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/06-battery-park-chandeliers-indoor-mall-business-building.jpg06-battery-park-chandeliers-indoor-mall-business-buildinghttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/06-batter-park-picture-buildings-street-people.jpg06-batter-park-picture-buildings-street-people2012-04-16T14:36:01+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/02/24/pictures-terrorizing-my-german-wife-with-instagram/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/09-mac-laptop-power-cable-leather-chair-instagram.jpg09-mac-laptop-power-cable-leather-chair-instagramhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/08-book-shelf-hunger-games-palahniuk-lullaby-pygmy-survivor-the-religion-tim-willocks-the-wee-free-men-garp.jpg08-book-shelf-hunger-games-palahniuk-lullaby-pygmy-survivor-the-religion-tim-willocks-the-wee-free-men-garphttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/07-bedroom-lamp-ikea-artistic-instagram.jpg07-bedroom-lamp-ikea-artistic-instagramhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/06-the-max-light-rail-tickets-portland-oregon.jpg06-the-max-light-rail-tickets-portland-oregonhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/05-ceiling-fan-picture-instagram.jpg05-ceiling-fan-picture-instagramhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/04-banana-plant-tree-indoor-artistic-instagram.jpg04-banana-plant-tree-indoor-artistic-instagramhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/03-kitchen-1070-retro-portland-instagram.jpg03-kitchen-1070-retro-portland-instagramhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/02-culture-shock-germany-book-richard-lord-survival-guide.jpg02-culture-shock-germany-book-richard-lord-survival-guidehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/01-tea-rose-miniature-chinese-garden-artistic-instamatic.jpg01-tea-rose-miniature-chinese-garden-artistic-instamatic2012-04-10T21:22:54+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/2012/03/09/pictures-instagram-dead-fish-and-my-german-wife/https://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/10-african-sculpture-south-zimbabwe.jpg10-african-sculpture-south-zimbabwehttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/09-german-keyboard-letters-umlaut.jpg09-german-keyboard-letters-umlauthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/08-lamp-ikea-upright-corner-dramatic-light.jpg08-lamp-ikea-upright-corner-dramatic-lighthttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/07-christmas-wreath-holiday-bow-red-green.jpg07-christmas-wreath-holiday-bow-red-greenhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/06-rose-blossom-instamatic-hipster-flower.jpg06-rose-blossom-instamatic-hipster-flowerhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/05-light-switch-dramatic-artsy-instamatic.jpg05-light-switch-dramatic-artsy-instamatichttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/04-gargoyle-eating-man-theater-company.jpg04-gargoyle-eating-man-theater-companyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/03-portland-map-on-wall-instamatic.jpg03-portland-map-on-wall-instamatichttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/02-inside-lamp-view-space-station-instamatic.jpg02-inside-lamp-view-space-station-instamatichttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/01-smallmouth-bass-trophy-fish-stuffed.jpg01-smallmouth-bass-trophy-fish-stuffed2012-04-06T00:09:39+00:00monthlyhttps://ohgodmywifeisgerman.comdaily1.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