Google Gone Wrong: Raunchy Search Terms Round Up the Wrong Sorts of Readers

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: our blog readers are the best. You guys rule. You’re the kind of people who really seem to get a kick out of an American expat trying desperately to navigate the cultural and linguistic quagmires of Germany without falling down, sinking to the bottom and drowning with a lungful of swamp water and tadpole piss.

I’m just kidding; most of you come here for my wife’s priceless Denglish quotes, or for my ongoing experiences with culture shock as an American living in Hannover. But you know what surprises me? The vast number of readers who accidentally find their way to our blog as a result of horny, strange or just plain freaky Google searches — most of which involve distressingly precise sex fetishes, blatantly obstinate questions about German sexuality, or anything having to do my pal ‘Trixi Rabbit,’ from the popular YouTube channel Don’t Trust the Rabbit. (I kid you not; lecherous searches about her draw followers to our blog with alarming frequency.)

So, over the past couple months, I’ve been taking screenshots of my site analytics through the WordPress app on my iPhone and gathering them for your enjoyment. (My favorite ones are highlighted in yellow.) Please click the first thumbnail image below to start the slideshow.

WARNING: Most of these images contain internet search terms which are sexually explicit, hilariously offensive or just straitjacket crazy.

Thank you for reading and have an awesome day!

— OGM