Our New Beagle Puppy: That First Week at Home with Yeti

I’ve already written two articles about what it’s like to find, purchase and raise a dog in Germany:

• Buying a Dog in Germany: Tasteless Tips and Awkward Observations
• Beagle Puppies in Germany: A Heartstoppingly Adorable Experience

And finally the waiting is over: We got to pick up our 9-week-old beagle puppy from the breeder’s place and take him to his new home in Hannover. We named him Yeti, after the horrifying snow monster of Nepal. (Also known as the Abominable Snowman.)

In the States, we pronounce Yeti super fast, like, “Yeddie.” (As in Yeddie Vedder or Yeddie Van Halen.) But in Germany, they spell it Jeti, and pronounce it more like, “Yay-tee.” Anyway, my wife and I knew going into this our beagle puppy would likely be the cutest thing in the Universe, so we wanted to give him a name which would totally undermine that fact. (And rather accurately reflect the merry hell he would undoubtedly wreak upon our lives.)

And wreak hell he did! Oh my sweet holy Christ, if I had to do it all over, I’m not sure I would get a fresh puppy again. Those first couple of nights, he woke up every 2 hours to either piss on the floor or whine like he was being tortured. Or both. Neither my wife nor I got a lot of sleep at the beginning. And taking care of him was a 24-hour job. The only breaks we got — like to work, eat or do chores — was when he passed out. Kind of like a newborn baby, only not as disgusting.

Here are a few things I learned right away:

• Cleanliness is a luxury. After having a puppy for just a few hours, I found myself covered in filth: hair, mud, grass, slobber, snot, piss, shit… you name it, I was wearing it.
• I lost track of which day it was. Seriously. After just a couple days without sleep, I thought an entire month had passed. A lifetime, even.
• Spare time became a thing of that past. During these days, I was just grateful for a quiet moment in which to lotion my hands and trim my nostril hairs. (This is not a joke.)
• Northern Germans have an unfair reputation. They’ve been stereotyped as cold, reserved and unfriendly, but if you want to discover just how warm and friendly northern Germans can be, walk around your neighborhood with a beagle puppy on a leash. God damn, people stopped me every other block to gush about Yeti. (And for a shy introvert like me, this is both exhausting and terrifying.)
• Our beagle is German. We bought him a KONG chew toy, right? And all the Americans I know put a little peanut butter inside, so the dog will be occupied for hours trying to lick at it. Not Yeti. He totally ignored my awesome American style peanut butter in favor of liverwurst. Clearly war has been declared.

But nothing I write here today can do justice to what my wife and I truly experienced during that first week at home with our new beagle puppy. So, I hope you’ll crank up your speakers and enjoy this little video I put together, which provides a 7-day glimpse into our new life with Yeti.

Thank you for watching and have an awesome day!

— OGM