Beagle Puppies in Germany: A Heartstoppingly Adorable Experience
“Oh, am I so unbelievably cute it hurts? Yeah. Real sorry about that.”
So, there’s “food porn,” which is the spectacular visual representation of foods boasting lethally high fat content, and we have “car porn,” which consists of high resolution photos of penis-extending luxury cars, and we have “architecture porn,” which is all about pictures of insanely expensive and/or freakishly impractical buildings. Basically, there’s a form of photo porn out there for just about every subject you can think of.
Originally, I wanted to title this post, “Doggie Porn,” “Beagle Porn,” or “Puppy Porn,” but none of these options would have kept me in the blogging business without sporting a shiny new pair of handcuffs. Instead, I chose to focus on the unbearable cuteness of the beagles my wife and I have seen throughout our journey to find the perfect new addition to our German-American family.
Please click one of the images below to start the slideshow and read the caption information. (WARNING: “Cuteness Overload” is a very real health danger. Do not proceed if you have a history of heart disease, high blood pressure or stroke.)
That’s the mom from the first litter. She only gave birth to 3 puppies, so we didn’t get one of hers. (Beautiful bitch.)
That’s the original momma dog again. She really is just stunning. (Also, it kinda looks like my wife is strangling her in this picture.)
See? Only 3. And one was a stupid bicolor. (Just kidding. Bicolors can be just as beautiful as the classic tricolor. I promise. You’ll see.)
“Taken. Taken. Taken. NO BEAGLE FOR YOU.”
These are the parents of the next litter, from which we got to choose our puppy. You would assume the puppies would be of mixed color, given the bicolor/tricolor combination, but you would assume wrong….
BAM! 8 puppies, all tricolor. “Oh, genetic variables. You fickle bitch.”
That’s our little guy, fresh out of the oven! His ears and eyes are still closed here, so he has no idea how freaky his new parents are going to be.
I think I posted this picture before. Still cracks me up.
Aw man, don’t you just want to take a beagle bath in these little guys?
Here’s our beagle again. His nose is slowly turning all black, but not like an even, overall change of hue — more like growing dots or increasingly apparent gin blossoms.
He fell asleep like this. He can sleep in any position, no matter how uncomfortable.
Cute, but he still looks like a malformed hamster.
Milk coma.
Here he is at one month old. Gettin’ cuter every day! (And less impressed with his future parents.)
“Take me over THERE, human.”
Look at that gigantic head. God, I really hope the rest of him grows proportionately.
I’m tellin’ you, this little guy could fall asleep on an airplane during a mid-air collision.
Heh heh. He looks like a snuggled-up beagle ball.
This is an 8 week-old bicolor female. See? I told you they were beautiful too. STOP THE BEAGLE BIAS.
There’s our guy again. We’re already hopelessly in love with him at this point. And he knows it.
See that little black spot on the side of his nose? It keeps growing and growing. Soon, his entire nose will be black. (But for now, my wife calls that spot his, “Monroe.”)
Look! It’s a beagle paradise! (And probably an ideal breeding ground for ticks, fleas and bubonic plague.)
7 weeks-old! Heh heh, in this picture, he looks like he’s flying. Kinda like Falkor the Luckdragon from The Neverending Story.
He really is quite patient with our constant praise and adoration. That’s big of him.
This is what he would look like as a Franciscan monk: Brother Beagle of Assisi.
Here are a bunch of 4 week-old puppies and one 8 week-old puppy. Jesus. What a difference a month makes.
Looks sorta like beagle boot camp: Recruits: [In unison in a normal speaking tone] “Sir, yes Sir.”
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: “Bullshit I can’t hear you. Sound off like you got a pair!”
It’s a real, live, dog pile! (Not at all like when I was in elementary school, being crushed to death beneath 10 sweaty 7th graders.)
Just two more weeks until we can pick him up for real! (Ya gotta wait at least 9 weeks before you pull that titty out they mouth.)
Every single one of these guys found a home. Beagles are magic. You know you want one too.
This is our beagle doing his best Walking Dead impression: “I don’t think anyone wants to cuddle a zombie.” — Norman Reedus
Yeah, it’s all fun and games until that rope turns into my favorite pair of dress shoes. You little piece of shit.
Get ready, humans: I am about to detonate your hearts with my regal adorability.
Feel that pressure in your chest? That’s a cuteness heart attack you’re having there, pussy.
We picked up our puppy from the breeder on October 29th, 2016, and our lives have since been forever changed. His name is Yeti — pronounced “yeh-dee” in America, and “yay-tee” in Germany. (They also spell it Jeti over here, which is kind of badass.) So, you can expect a HELL of a lot more beagle posts in the future, whether you like it or not. ;)
Okay, that’s all for now! Thank you for reading and have an awesome Monday!
I have been struggling with the quarantines and decided that I need a dog in my life. I had a Beagle back in the states and would like to own another one here. Its so difficult to find a breeder. Which breeder did you purchase your dog from?
Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
Hello,
I have been struggling with the quarantines and decided that I need a dog in my life. I had a Beagle back in the states and would like to own another one here. Its so difficult to find a breeder. Which breeder did you purchase your dog from?
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Nice. Please fire me an email and I’ll point you in the right direction.
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