Remember that first list of German proverbs I published? This here is the second part. It contains even more expressions from German-speaking people from around the world. (Even the weird parts, where they speak German for absolutely no apparent reason.)
And as I mentioned before: I cherish German people. They’re hilarious, in their own morbidly depressing way. Especially with their old-timey expressions and proverbs, many of which — while illuminating — are about as cheerful as Sunday brunch down at the gallows.
What follows is another list of my favorite German proverbs, which I have translated literally — exactly the way they sound to my American ears — followed by the original German expression:
“If you want to dine with the devil, you’ll need a long spoon.”
German: “Der muss einen langen Löffel haben, der mit dem Teufel essen will.”
English equivalent: “He who sups with the devil needs a long spoon.”
My interpretation: “Stay out of pitchfork range.”
“The shoemaker has the worst shoes.”
German: “Der Schuster hat die schlechtesten Schuhe.”
English equivalent: “The shoemaker goes barefoot.” (Because he’s too busy making shoes for other people, I presume.)
My interpretation: “Look out for #1”
“Disaster rarely comes alone.”
German: “Ein Unglück kommt selten allein.”
English equivalent: “When it rains, it pours.”
My interpretation: “Everything sucks and it’s about to suck harder.”
“Don’t paint the devil on the wall.”
German: “Den Teufel nicht an die Wand malen.”
English equivalent: “Speak not of the devil, lest he appear.”
My interpretation: “Don’t jinx the beer run, dude.”
“More die from gluttony than by the sword.”
German: “Durch Völlerei kommen mehr um denn durchs Schwert.”
English equivalent: “Gluttony kills more than the sword.”
My interpretation: “Get your fat ass to the gym.”
“Self-praise stinks.”
German: “Eigenlob stinkt.”
English equivalent: “Don’t toot your own horn.”
My interpretation: “Nobody likes an asshole.”
“Laziness is the key to poverty.”
German: “Faulheit ist der Schlüssel zur Armut.”
English equivalent: “Idle hands make one poor.”
My interpretation: “Work harder, peasant.”
“Everyone should have a happy, healthy distrust.”
German: “Ein jeder habe das fröhliche, gesunde Mißtrauen.”
English equivalent: “Keep a healthy amount of skepticism.”
My interpretation: “Trust no one, Agent Mulder.”
“A log alone does not burn.”
German: “Ein Scheit allein brennt nicht.’’
English equivalent: “It takes two to tango.”
My interpretation: “Well, I didn’t handcuff myself to the bed, officer…”
“One swallow does not make summer.”
German: “Eine Schwalbe macht noch keinen Sommer!”
English equivalent: “Don’t get your hopes up.”
My interpretation: “Welcome to Germany.”
Have you heard any old German proverbs lately? Check out the comments section below!
Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
I had a great time with these. Thanks for the chuckle.
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Nice! Thank you for reading!
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