If you’ve been following this blog for some time, you know I’ve got some vicious pollen allergies. Allergy attacks and sneezing fits are to be expected in the spring months, especially when you are living in a foreign country like Germany, with its totally alien and unnaturally aggressive pollen spores. (I like to picture them as little dirndl-wearing, axe-wielding spike balls.)
What are not expected, are allergy attacks in the middle of winter. The rain and cold should keep the pollen count down, right? I mean, I don’t even have a cold right now, and yet I’m sneezing like I just snorted a fruit fly up my nose. (That totally happened to me once.) Maybe it’s the cold in the air. Maybe it’s the ankle-deep layer of dust beneath our bed, which gathered because I haven’t swept in months and I am a profoundly lazy man. I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s raining right now, I am sneezing and my German wife had this to day about it:
THE WIFE: “That is odd. Allergies usually happen when it is dry as a fart.”*
*My wife later informed me, “Yes, that word comes from Northern Germany. It is ‘furztrocken,’ meaning ‘fart-dry.’ “
Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”
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Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
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