Has your spouse ever shrieked about a spider running across the living room floor? Has he or she called to you for help because a big, disgusting moth came in the window? What about larger problems, like birds or bats trapped in the house? And heaven forbid a true monster ever claws its way into your precious domicile; something which absolutely cannot be subdued with a wad of squeamishly-handled tissue paper or a phone book wielded with a grossly unnecessary amount of killing power.
No, a real beast would make anyone freak right the hell out, so imagine the terror I experienced when my German wife entered our bathroom and cried out to me:
THE WIFE: “There is a thousand-feet worm in the bathtub!”*
*It was a centipede, or “Tausendfüßler.”
Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”
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Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
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