As I’ve explained in a previous post, I have dry skin and full lips for a dude. Sometimes they’ll chap even though I am diligent about applying lotion after every shower and every time I brush my teeth. I even keep a tube of ChapStick on my person at all times. Sometimes the left half of my top lip will dry out, turn red and itch for a few hours for absolutely no reason whatsoever. During these moments, I find it hard not to mess with the dry skin — I’ll touch it, scratch it and look at it in the rear-view mirror of our car every 5 seconds while my wife and I are driving home from work. It was during one of these commutes back in December of 2011, as I was toying with yet another spontaneous dry patch, when my wife turned and admonished me…
THE WIFE: “What is on your lip? Stop playing with it. You get a herpes.”
Gentle reader, please take note: I do NOT have herpes.
Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”
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Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
I know this is wicked late, but I’m reading your archives right now (and loving them!). Anyway, lip balm actually dries your lips out. Can’t remember now where exactly I read that, but it was on the internet, so it MUST be true, nicht wahr? You need to drink more water to stay hydrated, that’s my guess.
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And lotion. Tons of high-quality lotion after showering and brushing my teeth.
Thank you for the comment, Christina! Have a wonderful day and please come visit our blog again soon!
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