During the long-distance portion of our relationship, The Wife and I flew several times between Frankfurt, Germany and Portland, Oregon in order to see one another. My wife has flown into every international airport in America, so she’s quite the travel veteran, but there’s no getting around the fact that the distance between Frankfurt and an airport like Washington Dulles is over 4000 miles — or approximately 9 hours of flight time — and that is a very long wait when you don’t like going poo poo on airplanes. So, during one such trip, as my wife was trying to make her connecting flight in D.C., she sent me the following text message:
THE WIFE: “I need to use the bathroom. I will first go through security and then I will lay my egg.”
Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”
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Oh God, My Wife Is German. 
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