Don’t let that innocent face fool you: He’s googling ‘german he-sluts in tartar sauce.’ — Image Credit: Johan Viirok (https://www.flickr.com/photos/viirok/) — Subject to CC 2.0 License.
Have you ever taken a real close look at your internet search history? Even just the past week or so? Without benefit of context, pretty much every single phrase you’ve used over the past 7 days will make you sound like a dangerously lonely sociopath.
So, for this post, I’ve taken screenshots of my latest search engine terms. Sometimes I was searching for funny images for blog posts I was writing at the time. Sometimes I was genuinely curious about a freakishly random topic. Other times I wanted to find a funny article or video I’d seen recently. And a few times I was making sure some joke or obscure reference I wanted to write about had not been written by anyone before. But most of the time I was just being me; an American expat slowly losing his mind in Hannover, Germany.
Please click the first thumbnail image below to start the slideshow. (WARNING: Some screenshots may [definitely] contain explicit/offensive terminology):
What about you? Which of your own search terms put a sick little smile on your face? The comments section is WIDE open…
Posted in Germany, Pictures, Writing and Blogging
Tagged Blogging, Expat, Funniest Google Searches, Germany, Humor, Living in Germany, Search Engine Terms, WordPress, Writing
Oh God, My Wife Is German:
The Misadventures of an American Expat and His Wife in Germany — 2015 Annual Blog Report
As a dear and valued reader, we thought you might like to see how things went for our blog over the past 12 months. We gathered a bunch of new graphic design clients, made some great new friends, and even crossed the 40,000 followers mark — it was crazy! Take a look and see how much of an impact your participation made!
See, with fellow bloggers like franhunne4u, aurorajeanalexander and thebritishberliner providing us with the most comments in 2015, lots of devoted fans reblogging and sharing our posts each month, and our other awesome readers keeping us fueled with their consistent words of support, we’re feeling encouraged and ready to rock even harder in 2016. So thank you, Dear Reader. Seriously. You keep the words flowing.
As for the annual report, here’s an interesting fact: The busiest day of the year was January 20th, with 5,638 views. The most popular post was False Friends: 15 Examples How the German Language Is Trying to Kill You.
Would you like to read some other interesting results from our blog? Click here to see the complete report.
Thank you for reading and have a wonderful new year!
Posted in Writing and Blogging
Tagged 2016, Blogging, Expat, Germany, Humor, Living in Germany, Love, Marriage, Travel, WordPress, Writing
Until recently, I assumed people came to our blog for a quick laugh. Maybe to read one of my wife’s Denglish quotes, or perhaps to read about the culture shock I’ve experienced as an American expat in Germany. What I did not expect, however, was the sheer number of people who’ve accidentally stumbled across our blog due to misdirected Google searches. (And oh holy Christ, the Internet really is fueled by porn, isn’t it…)
For this post, I’ve taken screenshots of the latest search terms used to land people on our site and highlighted my favorites in yellow. Please click the first thumbnail image below to start the slideshow. (WARNING: Many contain sexually explicit or otherwise hilarious terminology):
… and of course, way down at the bottom, is my favorite search term of all time:
I have to give it to our accidental blog visitors; they do find creative ways to find us. There’s at least one every day who makes me laugh, and for that, I must award these Google search engine terms with a strong 4 out of 5 Merkel Diamonds:
What about you? Which search terms put a naughty little smile on your face? The comments section is open as hell.
Posted in Pictures, Writing and Blogging
Tagged Blogging, Expat, Funniest Google Searches, Germany, Google, Humor, Keywords, Living in Germany, Search Engine Terms, WordPress
2014 was pretty sweet. My wife started working as a full-time Gymnasium teacher, and I enjoyed some modest success as a self-employed graphic designer. We moved out of our affordable (yet questionable) apartment and joined the Stepford Wives by moving into a house way out in suburbia. Overall, it was a great year; one in which my wife and I both felt as if we’d taken a big step forward. The only bad thing that happened was when some drunken idiots tried to steal my bike, failed, and proceeded to beat the everloving shit out of it.
But you know what’s really cool? What just rules entirely? You do. Our readers. You’re so positive and encouraging — you’ve really helped make this blog the humorous refuge it was always meant to be.
We would like to sincerely thank you for reading and invite you to take a look at some cool blogging information from this past year, including:
- Funny Statistics
- Our Most Popular Post from 2014
- The Countries Where Our Readers Come From
…and of course…
- Our Top 5 Blog Commenters of the Year
Here’s an excerpt:
The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 400,000 times in 2014. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 17 days for that many people to see it.
Click here to see the complete 2014 report for Oh God, My Wife Is German.
2013 was a big year for The Wife and I. After living in the States together, we moved to Hannover, Germany! Now, I’ll be real honest with you: it was scary at times (there may have been tears). I dropped everything, including a house, car and job, and moved across the globe to a country in which I did not adequately speak the language. Meanwhile, my wife scrambled around finding us an apartment here in Hannover, moving everything in and launching her post-university career. Jesus Christ, I think I’m going to have a panic attack just thinking about all that stuff again. Yep. It’s on. “Honey, call the Krankenwagen; my thunderous American heart has finally given out.”
2013 was also a big year for our blog. In addition to our usual denglish posts, I began writing about life as an American expat in Germany, and the culture shock and linguistic misadventures which ensued. I also started making videos and posting pictures from our travels around Germany, which brought in a lot more new readers. We were featured on The Local and several other expat resource websites. On top of all that, one of our posts was ‘Freshly Pressed’ on WordPress.com. Our readership just exploded over the past year, and as of the writing of this post, we’re about to pass the 10,000 subscriber mark!
We would like to sincerely thank you for reading our blog and invite you to take a look at some cool information from this past year, including:
- Silly Statistics
- Our Most Popular Post Ever
- Where Our Readers Come From
…and of course…
- Our Top 5 Blog Commenters
Here’s an excerpt:
The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 320,000 times in 2013. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 14 days for that many people to see it.
Click here to view the 2013 blog stats from Oh God, My Wife Is German!
Check out these sweet facts and statistics for our blog generated by WordPress.com! (Honestly, I had no idea the numbers could be broken down like this, which reinforces the fact that I have the math skills of a walnut.)
Here’s an excerpt:
19,000 people fit into the new Barclays Center to see Jay-Z perform. This blog was viewed about 80,000 times in 2012. If it were a concert at the Barclays Center, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
Oh, and be sure to check out the list of top commenters toward the bottom of the page. You guys are the best!
To all our readers: We hope you and your loved ones are having a wonderful new year!
— Oh God, My Wife Is German.
Click here to see the complete 2012 Year in Review.
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