Tag Archives: Movies

TV and Movie Reviews: German-American Couple Watches “Californication”


Photo Credit: Rex Roof (https://www.flickr.com/photos/rexroof/) — CC Attribution 2.0 Generic License

Title: Californication

Classification: TV Series

Genre: Comedy-Drama

Trailer: (Warning: Adult Content)

Summary: Fox Mulder walks into a room — any room — and at least one attractive female decides, I absolutely must nail that guy within the hour.

Rating: 3 out of 5 Merkel Diamonds.



ME: “Hey, it’s better than watching paint dry.”

THE WIFE: *Pretending to wake up from a sex-dream* “GUH!?–KISS THE TIP!”

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Denglish 78: My German Wife Asks Me Not to Strike Her Loins

Back in early 2012, The Wife and I were watching a movie in our living room. I can’t remember now, but it was probably a chick flick like Sex and the City 2 or Eat Pray Love — something my wife forced me to add to my Netflix queue, forever sullying its masculine streak of pure, testicle-powered entertainment. (Wait, that sounded like gay porn, didn’t it.)

So, sometime during the second half of the movie, I stood up to get a glass of water from the kitchen, swatted my wife’s thigh and asked, “Would you like anything while I’m up?”

She replied calmly, without turning her gaze from the TV screen.

THE WIFE: “Please don’t slap my fat meat.”

Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”

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