Tag Archives: Hannover

My German Wife Rips on an Ugly American Celebrity

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“Hey sexy.” — Photo Credit: Bill Oberst Jr. (https://www.flickr.com/photos/billoberstjr/) — Image subject to CC 2.0 copyright.

Back in June of 2013, The Wife and I were watching a movie when we started discussing one of the actors. I have no idea who the actor was — probably Steve Buscemi, Willem Dafoe or one of those other scary lookin’ sons of bitches — but I know we looked him up on IMDb. There were some pictures where the dude actually looked quite nice, like a model. But there were a whole lot more where he looked exactly the way he does on screen, which is to say, like a great big pile of ass.

Let’s be clear: I don’t care what an actor looks like, so long as he’s awesome. The late Philip Seymour Hoffman was my favorite actor of all time, and he looked like he was made out of powdered donuts and albino cadavers. My wife, however, won’t hesitate to insult a famous person’s looks. So as we were checking out that other actor, she stopped me from scrolling through the pictures, pointed to one of the worst and said:

“He looks like a fresh washed towel.”

If you would like to read another Denglish post, check this one out: My German Wife Tells the Worst Inside Joke of All-Time

 


 

A Year in Review: American Expat in Germany Looks Back at Blogging in 2014

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2014 was pretty sweet. My wife started working as a full-time Gymnasium teacher, and I enjoyed some modest success as a self-employed graphic designer. We moved out of our affordable (yet questionable) apartment and joined the Stepford Wives by moving into a house way out in suburbia. Overall, it was a great year; one in which my wife and I both felt as if we’d taken a big step forward. The only bad thing that happened was when some drunken idiots tried to steal my bike, failed, and proceeded to beat the everloving shit out of it.

But you know what’s really cool? What just rules entirely? You do. Our readers. You’re so positive and encouraging — you’ve really helped make this blog the humorous refuge it was always meant to be.

We would like to sincerely thank you for reading and invite you to take a look at some cool blogging information from this past year, including:

  • Funny Statistics
  • Our Most Popular Post from 2014
  • The Countries Where Our Readers Come From
    …and of course…
  • Our Top 5 Blog Commenters of the Year

Here’s an excerpt:

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 400,000 times in 2014. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 17 days for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete 2014 report for Oh God, My Wife Is German.