Tag Archives: Europe

Video: Expat Couple Hauls Ass on the Autobahn in Germany

As you may already know, I am American and my wife is German (as all hell). We live in Hannover, Germany, and though we do not own a car, we sometimes get to borrow one from friends and family members. During the weekend of December 15th, 2012, we drove between the state of Hesse (Hessen) and Niedersachsen (Lower Saxony) along the A7 Autobahn.

People in Germany often drive very fast on the Autobahn. We averaged 120 km/h during our journey, which is about 75 mph. In this video, you can see cars passing us at far greater speeds, especially the first car at the very beginning.

Listen, Germans, I know you want to make it home in time for Tatort and Wiener Schnitzel, but that’s no reason to wrap your Beemer around a tree.

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Video: How to Destroy American Electrical Appliances in Germany

PART II: Success.

As you probably know, European outlets kick out a mean 220 volts of electricity. American appliances, like my now-deceased electric razor, were only designed to handle 110 volts. I was told by several people my appliances would be ruined if I tried them in Europe, so as soon as I arrived, I did my very best to brick my razor. Nothing bad happened. Then I tried my razor for a longer period of time while in Munich. Like, long enough for a full, manly kind of shave.

This video is the result:

And this is the first video, when my razor was still alive:

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Pictures: A Walking Tour of Hannover, Germany, on the Red Thread, Part I

Hannover New Town Hall Rathaus

On September 8th, 2012, just 6 days after my arrival in Germany, The Wife and I began the first part of our ongoing walking tours of Hannover. We followed “The Red Thread,” which totally sounds like a yarn shop for old ladies, but is actually the main tourist circuit through the city. We barely made it through half of the tour on our first day, so I would expect these posts to continue for some time because the Red Thread is one long mother.

Here are the pictures. Click one of them to open the gallery. We hope you like them!

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Denglish 72: My German Wife Disapproves of My Baby Name Suggestions

My wife and I have in no way made up our minds about having kids. Some days it seems like a pleasant enough idea, and other days it seems like a singularly cruel torture reserved for fools and condom haters. And yet, inexplicably, we enjoy coming up with baby names just for fun.

I am partial to weird names, especially first names that sound like last names. Harrison. Buckley. Jagger. The weirder the better, because I believe a unique moniker is more likely to give rise to a unique individual. My wife, however, disagrees with me just as hard as her tiny German body will allow. She likes safe first names, but she doesn’t like them because they are safe; she likes them because she likes boring things. This was why, back in January of 2012, our discussion concerning baby names ended like this…

ME: “What do you think about the name ‘Donner’ as a boy’s name?”

THE WIFE: “Donner? Hmm, it sounds like ‘Donna,’ the girl’s name. I can’t hear the difference between ‘Donner’ and ‘Donna.’

ME: “That’s because your ears have an accent.”

Click here to learn more about the term “Denglish.”

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