2014 was pretty sweet. My wife started working as a full-time Gymnasium teacher, and I enjoyed some modest success as a self-employed graphic designer. We moved out of our affordable (yet questionable) apartment and joined the Stepford Wives by moving into a house way out in suburbia. Overall, it was a great year; one in which my wife and I both felt as if we’d taken a big step forward. The only bad thing that happened was when some drunken idiots tried to steal my bike, failed, and proceeded to beat the everloving shit out of it.
But you know what’s really cool? What just rules entirely? You do. Our readers. You’re so positive and encouraging — you’ve really helped make this blog the humorous refuge it was always meant to be.
We would like to sincerely thank you for reading and invite you to take a look at some cool blogging information from this past year, including:
- Funny Statistics
- Our Most Popular Post from 2014
- The Countries Where Our Readers Come From
…and of course…
- Our Top 5 Blog Commenters of the Year
Here’s an excerpt:
The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 400,000 times in 2014. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 17 days for that many people to see it.
Click here to see the complete 2014 report for Oh God, My Wife Is German.
“Hold me back! I can hear the Sirens calling!”
Back in 2013, my wife was finishing a big paper during her time as a Referendariat teacher. She was working very hard, so we made sure to balance things out with a little fun. And by fun, I mean big-ass beers.
One Sunday in May, she suggested we both work all day long and then go to Bavarium at 7:00 pm. Bavarium is one of our favorite places to go here in Hannover; it’s a Bavarian-themed restaurant and beer garden, but of most importance is the fact that they serve Maß (1 liter) beers. I love these gigantic brew-doggies, though I hate that they are traditionally poured so 1/3 of their volume is foam. (I don’t like having to carve through a layer of bubbles with my stupid American nose before reaching the sweet, golden nectar below.)
Anyway, 7:00 pm rolls around and my wife announces she is “too hungry” to go to Bavarium, and that we should just stay home and make tomato soup instead. In a weird way, I was actually sort of okay with this. I’d been looking forward to Bavarium all day, so that Sunday — which normally would have been one long, depressing death march toward Monday morning — was actually pretty decent. I had a great attitude, and I related this fact to my wife, to which she replied:
“We tricked your insides.”
If you would like to read another Denglish post, check this one out: My German Wife Tells the Worst Inside Joke of All-Time
Posted in Denglish
Tagged Bavarium, Beer, Beer Garden, Biergarten, Culture Shock, Denglish, Deutschland, Germany, Hannover, Humor, Language, Maß