Guests

gilde ratskeller beers on the hannover maschsee

Join us for a cold one! (Or a warm one… whatever you’re into.)

GUEST ARTICLES:

Weird (and Wonderful) German Foods, by The Expat Hub

The German Shower, by Heidi Hefeweizen

The Awful German Language, by Mark Twain


Write a guest Article for our blog!

Do you have any funny stories about visiting or living in Germany? Do you have a funny German friend or family member? How about some funny comments on German culture? Send them to me and I will share them here with a link back to your blog!

Please be aware of the following criteria before submitting an article to me:

  1. Your guest post cannot be a shameless plug for you or anyone else. If it is essentially one long ad or just a mindless container for a hyperlink, I won’t post it. In fact, I’ll file it away in a folder called “White Noise from the Functionally Illiterate.”
  2. Your post should be a funny and informative essay, and the only form of self-promotion should come at the end, where I will link to you or the site of your choosing and give appropriate credit. It’s really simple: guest articles are not advertisements. If you want to advertise on my site, for the love of all that is holy, please click the tab called ADVERTISING.
  3. The article absolutely needs to be funny and clever, yet also informative of the country of Germany, German people, German culture or anything else which provides insight into Germany as a whole. If you submit anything else to me, I will email you the following response:“Dear Jackpipe,
    Which of the two words, GERMANY and FUNNY, did you not understand?
    Love,
    Your Mom.”
  4. The article should in no way insult Germany or German people. If it is condescending or makes sweeping generalizations without the necessary humor or “just kidding” factor to support it, I won’t publish it. In fact, I’ll click delete so hard my mouse will cry.
  5. I will not pay you for your guest article. Our mutual goal should be to provide readers with good content and a lot of laughs while driving more visitors to both of our sites. You can, however, offer to pay me to feature your article, but it still has to follow all of the guidelines on this page.
  6. Keep in mind I never feature guest posts in the main feed of my blog. All guest posts will appear in the Guest Articles section at the top of this page. (This one sounds simple, but I have to repeat it so many times it’s like exchanging emails with a box of laundry detergent.)
  7. If you do not want to deal with images or photography in your article, I can add them for you. If you have images you want to use, be aware they need to come from Flickr Creative Commons (Attribution License only), and I will need the direct link to the source of the image so I can provide appropriate credit.
  8. I will correct any typos or grammar mistakes I find in your guest article. I might even send your post back to you and say, “Nice. Now let’s try that again…” or something equally dickish.
  9. I reserve the right to not publish your article, no matter how much time you’ve put into it or the manner in which we may have communicated about it beforehand. (Though I will be kind and respectful, not matter how bad the article sucks.) However, if I choose not to publish it, you are always free to post it on your own blog or find a more suitable destination, assuming it in no way references me or my blog, Oh God, My Wife Is German.

With all of that in mind, please contact me about your article or funny story! If it’s funny, relevant and informative, I’ll probably post it. And remember, have fun with it!

We love Germans!

ohgodmywifeisgerman@gmail.com

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5 responses to “Guests

  1. Can I find a can of clam chowder here OMG!!!!!! last thought, but have to return…

    Like

  2. Hmm, I must share? Ok Fiance comes to the states to visit, take her to Applebees for dinner, next day she says lets go back to that place same as yesterday “Applepie” I just replied right on! lol…

    Like

  3. On one of our first dates, I was attempting to read the menu at what soon became our favorite restaurant in her small town. I was looking at the salads on the menu and asked her what “Eier” means. She thought about it for a moment then said “Chicken babies.”

    Like

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