F.A.Q.

  • What is “Denglish?”
    Denglish is the accidental combination of Deutsch (German) and English words. This term can also be applied to those glorious mishaps occurring when expressions from one of these languages is translated directly to the other without benefit of cultural context. (My wife is fluent in Denglish.)
  • What is “Culture Shock?”
    Culture shock is a feeling of disorientation experienced by someone who is suddenly subjected to an unfamiliar culture, way of life, language or set of attitudes. Posts in this category describe my new and often painful experiences functioning in Germany. (I am the poster child for culture shock.)
  • What’s the deal with your wife?
    On a daily basis, my wife rattles off some of the funniest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. Sometimes the things she says are funny because she’s German (and Germans are hilarious), but most of the time they’re funny because she’s a huge dork and can’t help but act dorkishly. This is why I often use the term “Denglish” to title posts in which I quote something she has said, even though the term is being applied loosely at best.
  • Will you ever post pictures of you or your wife?
    Haw haw! …No. Just imagine Shannon Elizabeth from American Pie (minus the fake hoots), married to that kid Taylor Ball from Still Standing.
  • Can you speak German?
    Ich lerne momentan Deutsch. I took a beginning German class at Portland Community College, bought a book called German Phrases for Dummies, then purchased Mango Passport German. I’d say I can speak German at a severely handicapped, 1st grade level. Also, I regularly make my wife angry enough to swear in her native language, which totally counts as my homework.
  • Why did you remove all of those funny picture galleries from your blog?
    I talked to a lawyer specializing in online intellectual property rights, and she informed me I was doing a fantastic job of tempting people into suing me.
  • Why are you such a dick to your German wife?
    Because it makes her laugh, and although I maintain this blog for the benefit of all humankind, really, I write it just for her.

If you’d like to ask us a question, use one of the methods listed on our Contact page. We’d love to hear from you!

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33 responses to “F.A.Q.

  1. How can anyone who’s been to the Old Country not subscribe to Oh My God, My Wife Is German. Mine is first generation English by way of LA, a sometimes dangerous combo.

    The trip to England was a shock to my American eyes and ears. Another castle? Another cathedral? My kids didn’t get it until years later during a run through Germany, Spain, and France. They said I missed out by not seeing Germany, which was their favorite.

    Great blog happening here. Cheers for Oregon.

    David Gillaspie

  2. Very funny blog. Every German I met spoke very good English, I think you exaggerate a bit (a lot) when you write about her mistakes.

    My favorite German word is “der Schmetterling.”

  3. I have shared your site with many people. My oldest son is unable to view your pictures or animated giffs using his computer. Could you tell me what viewer, add-on, or whatever, he might be missing. Please email my college address where I am taking a blogging class, which is how I found you in the first place:). Thanks, Catherina cland4043@mysvc.skagit.edu

  4. I love your blog :) – and even though I grew up bilingual, I still do a Denglish from time to time – it’s a (half-)german thing.

  5. Nice blog! :) I developed a fascination with Germany after reading Mark Zusak’s the Book Thief and my bias turned the other way around. I love learning German swear words. LOL. Your blog entries are funny :D

  6. You crack me up. How do you say that in Denglish?

  7. I’ll have to ask The Wife. :)

  8. I came by here after you liked one of my posts… Why such a funny guy like you would want to like a post on a serious blog like mine is confuzzling. The point is, I stuck around, pleasantly amused, and feeling so much better. Thank you! :3

  9. Absolutely love this blog! I’m from Nevada and have been with my German for over 8 years and we both find this blog entertaining. While I’ve never been to Germany, I can relate to the “denglish” moments. Please continue sharing your hilarious experiences!

  10. I love your blog, I spent so much time on it and as a German woman living in the US at the moment (and blogging about my culture shock, although not as hilariously as you do) and it’s just so true. Although I really like German showers. No curtains cuddling with you and you can actually turn the effing shower head away from yourself until the water gets warm… :)

    • Haw haw haw haw! Oh man, the patriotism I have heard from Germans toward their showers… it’s remarkable. Americans are no less enthusiastic about theirs, of course. :)

      Thank you for visiting our blog and commenting! You’re always welcome back!

      • Hey, since patriotism is a taboo here, we can at least like our showers :) Thanks again for making me laugh so hard. You and The Wife are both hilarious!

      • Thank you, Flaminnesota! And I totally agree.

        Personally, I think Germans are entitled to more national pride than they think, but I see it coming out in spades regarding showers and, of course… Fußball. *shudder*

  11. I spent a year in Germany, a beautiful and awesome land. I brought my German back to the states with me. He is assimilating quite nicely…but he is still a German, achtung baby.

  12. Love your story ( nice and funny )

  13. Thank you for your great stories. I have lived in Germany and I married an Icelander so I feel what you write, Keep up the great work.

  14. I just love your blog!!! I’ve been married to my GI Joe and living in the US for 14 years now and we still make fun of each others cultural norms. Thanks for the laughter :D

  15. Just stumbled across this blog and particularly the photos of the Steinhude Meer. I love that place! My parents have lived in Celle for the last 10 years working for the British military base near Bergen. I’ve lived in Germany for 5 years then between the UK and Germany for 5 years, and now I’m in China for a year, feeling deeply nostalgic for all the places I know and love in Germany. Culture shock is no stranger to me, so I feel I can relate a bit to your posts (oh and they’re very funny.) Nice one!

  16. LOVE your blog. I stumbled upon it when I was looking up wedding ideas for my German; thank you for the warning about the Polterabend by the way. I asked her about it and she *informed* me that if we get married we are totally having one. ^^ You’re hilarious and so relatable that I laugh so hard I cry. Keep up the awesome work.

    • What a fantastic thing to say! I’m so glad our post helped you anticipate your big day.

      There is one thing though — in the south of German it’s traditional for the wedding party to kidnap the bride. Please ask about this too! (SO not cool with me.)

      :)

      Talk to you soon!

  17. I love this site… my girlfriend is German… and I live in Dallas, Texas… she’s coming out here to visit me soon… I keep getting her to say squirrel.

  18. Hi,
    just stumbled across your blog and l really like your stories about your live with us strange krauts :).

  19. I am trying to read your blog BUT… are you kicking your German wife in the “logo”? Or can you explain that? Being a graphic designer and all… Thanks!

  20. This April 2014, I will move to Berlin. As I get the news from the Botschaft Jakarta, I couldnt sleep because moving to a strange land terrifying me. I started to search and found your blog. What you wrote is awesome and give me so many information. Im an Asian, English and Deutsch is my 2nd or 3rd language. I think I’ll be in big trouble there..

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